Peek-A-Boo Daddy Issue

[Ohiogal]

I never said I would take him to court for contempt on that issue. I said he is in contempt for that issue. Why would I want to force her to go to him for 6 to 8 weeks out of the summer, every other holiday give him a week, and extend weekend visits longer than normal? I'm not that stupid! I was just stating all of the stipulations that he is in contempt for. Some of you were the ones pushing the issue about the bill that was recently passed, and I only dug deeper because of the comments you all made about it.

YOU do NOT have the authority to say that he is contempt. The COURT is the only one who can say he is in contempt. And I still say that your state government and the legislators that made that a law are a bunch of idiotic morons who deserve to be strung up by their fingernails and the first child who is injured or dies -- their blood is on the hands of the legislature. That is plain and simple fact.

 

[stealth2]

I never said I would take him to court for contempt on that issue. I said he is in contempt for that issue.

He's only in contempt when the JUDGE says he's in contempt. You don't make that determination.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

I will re-iterate. I will not be filing a rule for contempt based on the fact that he has not exercised his visitation. BETTER??

Child is 9 Stealth, sorry.

 

[stealth2]

At 9, she knows who her Dad is and is unlikely to be traumatized by spending an overnight with him (barring his having been provably abusive in teh past). Seriously - I thought you were talking about a 2yo.

 

[Ohiogal]

I will re-iterate. I will not be filing a rule for contempt based on the fact that he has not exercised his visitation. BETTER??

Child is 9 Stealth, sorry.

Then he is NOT in contempt. End of story.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

I never said I would take him to court for contempt on that issue. I said he is in contempt for that issue.....

Liar, liar, pants on fire...

My attorney informed me of the new policy that recently went into effect. I have no intention of breaking the court order, but I have full intention of taking him back for contempt. I just don't think it is healthy to throw my daughter at her father when she hasn't spoken to him or seen him in 4 months. I will do what I have to do to comply.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

ProSeDad, I believe him to be in contempt for SEVERAL issues, other than the fact that he fails to exercise his visits. No liar liar here ma friend.

 

[wileybunch]

I have nine year olds (2 as a matter of fact) and you're just ridiculous if you think you need to go to some (legal) extreme to "protect" your DD from her Dad if he hasn't seen her for 4 months. My twins' dad lives out of state and hasn't seen them since August and has probably spoken to them on the phone 3 times in the interim. And probably won't see them until this NEXT August. They haven't seen one set of g'parents since October. If I have issues with my kids when they next see their Dad or g'parents, then the issue is not a legal one. And, I'll tell you, they have complained when he has called and they are not allowed to be disrespectful or pull any crap. They may not FEEL like talking to him when he calls and they are very very stubborn children, headstrong, but I don't always FEEL like cooking for them and I do it out of a sense of respect I owe my children. My kids have refused to get on the phone and I've dealt with it including consequences if they do not b/c that really is just a parenting issue. What if Dad lived in the same home and kid didn't "feel" like talking to the parent or was "mad" at them?

In our case, my kids owe their dad the same even if he's not as good of a parent as I am. (joking, sorta)
You might consider stopping this tug of war.

ETA: Oh, and I really can't stand my ex if you really want to know. He walked out on the twins and I when they were 6mo, his only children, was apparently philandering or whatnot after 11 years of marriage. Try getting back on your feet and getting a job with 2 infants around the clock and not want to stab the man to death. LOL. And, even still .... the kids don't call the shots and I do not revel in the fact they've had struggles with their bond with him, totally his fault.

 

[jbowman]

Its pretty funny that a poster, for once, in the history of me reading this forum, actually backed up her claim - did research and was correct - and no one had the decency to acknowledge that. Instead turned it into a "goody goody gumdrops" ridicule session. Give props where props are due. She had facts that others didnt. Regardless of how stupid the law is. Its not her fault that it passed.

And I will say AGAIN. Mom, you dont have to do a DANG thing until dad contacts you. NOT his interferring wife.

 

[wileybunch]

Its pretty funny that a poster, for once, in the history of me reading this forum, actually backed up her claim - did research and was correct - and no one had the decency to acknowledge that. Instead turned it into a "goody goody gumdrops" ridicule session. Give props where props are due. She had facts that others didnt. Regardless of how stupid the law is. Its not her fault that it passed.

And I will say AGAIN. Mom, you dont have to do a DANG thing until dad contacts you. NOT his interferring wife.

You're right, she did. But, OP needs to curb her biznitchiness then, putting things in caps, "have a good day" meaning "eff off", etc. and by now has dug a hole for herself with particular insults made.

 

[jbowman]

You're right, she did. But, OP needs to curb her biznitchiness then, putting things in caps, "have a good day" meaning "eff off", etc. and by now has dug a hole for herself with particular insults made.

Really? Why? Anyone would get defensive after being treated like she was pretty much a stupid dummy for talking about a law that surprisingly REALLY DID EXIST. Amazing. Id be a bit irritated too. As would most of the people on this board. No one is allowed to defend themselves? And I didnt see any insults. I think this is a prime example of "hateration".

 

[nythng4mygrl]

Wiley, thank you for your words of wisdom. You actually hit a spot about the distance between visitations. You also have to realize, that my daughter does not go to her dad's often, he has been arrested on multiple occasions for DWI, drug possession, and was just recently charged for the drug possession. I have to be protective of my daughter. I assure all of you, I am not being selfish, and I am well educated. I do not want to play "tug of war" anymore, however I feel that he should pay the consequences for not honoring a court order, period. He has not obeyed the court order for the last 3 years, and I think it is time to take him back and finally set things straight, and play by the court's rules, not by his rules or his wife's. I am tired of having to deal with wifey about MY child. I have not had any contact with dad in over a year via telephone, and then when we exchange our daughter, he has no idea what I'm talking about when I mention "his" emails.

Here is my situation regarding child support that noone answered...Dad got fired, has no income, but wife works. Does dad still need to pay up or do I go after wife's income since she is now the "sole provider" until dad finds a job? The order states that he is to pay no later than the 1st of each month, or will be found in contempt. That is the only verbage about child support.

And to JBowman, I appreciate it. I did not come on forum to argue today as I was only seeking advice. I do admire Ohiogal as she is brutally honest, which is why I come here for advice. She tells it like it is, but she knows her stuff, and I don't take it personally. I just want a normal upbringing for my girl. I was very upset at how I was attacked earlier, which is why I left the comment, but honestly these women are good people and very smart and trust me, OG did not care about my remark, I'm sure. She has heard worse, and been called worse names that I would even think of. lol

Thank you all for opening my eyes about daddy being a peek-a-boo one. I guess it hurts my heart to see my little one cry and for her have to start re-building that relationship with him all over again everytime. He is still a stranger to her and she does not feel comfortable with stepmom. I won't go there and you all truly have a GREAT night. I need to get back to Nancy Grace! Thank you all again!

 

[wileybunch]

Really? Why? Anyone would get defensive after being treated like she was pretty much a stupid dummy for talking about a law that surprisingly REALLY DID EXIST. Amazing. Id be a bit irritated too. As would most of the people on this board. No one is allowed to defend themselves? And I didnt see any insults. I think this is a prime example of "hateration".

The glaring one I was referring to is gone now.

 

[wileybunch]

You also have to realize, that my daughter does not go to her dad's often, he has been arrested on multiple occasions for DWI, drug possession, and was just recently charged for the drug possession. I have to be protective of my daughter.

A judge will make that decision.

I do not want to play "tug of war" anymore, however I feel that he should pay the consequences for not honoring a court order, period.

Sure, no issues there.

I am tired of having to deal with wifey about MY child. I have not had any contact with dad in over a year via telephone, and then when we exchange our daughter, he has no idea what I'm talking about when I mention "his" emails.

You do not have to deal with her. However, if an email comes in from their email that's titled in her name, she has to sign it before you can ignore it as coming from her.

Here is my situation regarding child support that noone answered...Dad got fired, has no income, but wife works. Does dad still need to pay up or do I go after wife's income since she is now the "sole provider" until dad finds a job? The order states that he is to pay no later than the 1st of each month, or will be found in contempt. That is the only verbage about child support.

Why would his wife be on the hook to pay you child support? She's not. She's not a party for child support or child custody. How long has Dad not paid? Yes, you can go in on contempt or you can file through your local child support enforcement.

I was very upset at how I was attacked earlier, which is why I left the comment, but honestly these women are good people and very smart and trust me, OG did not care about my remark, I'm sure. She has heard worse, and been called worse names that I would even think of. lol

So you deleted a post, right? That's why jbowman didn't know what I was referring to.

I guess it hurts my heart to see my little one cry and for her have to start re-building that relationship with him all over again everytime.

Honestly, this has probably more to do with your behavior than dad's. I mean, honestly, there are children that are given up for adoption that welcome their biological parent back into their life and love them without a grudge. Your DD does not have it that bad. There's not even any allegations that her father is ever abusive to her. That's what I mean by tug of war. She has dad's DNA and he is a part of her self image and every time you want to put distance between yourself and your skanky ex sorta thing, that's his skanky DD, if you know what I mean. You may even be able to get your DD worked up to really think Dad is beneath she and you, but on some level, then she thinks she's beneath you, too, because she knows, on some level, that she came from that man, he's a part of her.

The stepmom can be dealt with. Don't pick at your DD's relationship with your father expecting it to be the relationship of YOUR dreams. That is HER father and he's trying. Maybe not as hard as he should, maybe not even much at all sometimes, but he's still there and he's a part of her life. And, you could go a long way in teaching her patience and longsuffering and unconditional love for her father.

 

[Ohiogal]

Here is my situation regarding child support that noone answered...Dad got fired, has no income, but wife works. Does dad still need to pay up or do I go after wife's income since she is now the "sole provider" until dad finds a job? The order states that he is to pay no later than the 1st of each month, or will be found in contempt. That is the only verbage about child support.

She didn't sleep with you and cause you to become pregnant and therefore she owes you squat.

And to JBowman, I appreciate it. I did not come on forum to argue today as I was only seeking advice. I do admire Ohiogal as she is brutally honest, which is why I come here for advice. She tells it like it is, but she knows her stuff, and I don't take it personally. I just want a normal upbringing for my girl. I was very upset at how I was attacked earlier, which is why I left the comment, but honestly these women are good people and very smart and trust me, OG did not care about my remark, I'm sure. She has heard worse, and been called worse names that I would even think of. lol

Hence you adding on to it matters not. Because what would I care, correct? I am an autobot and don't do anything because I give a crap. Got it. Moving on now.