Holiday times

[xxnatalixx]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OH

I was wondering if there are standard holiday hours that the NCP has the child. I noticed that our juvinile court and common pleas court have slightly different rules, so if you need to know, we are currently going through juvinile. All I see is that we alternate holidays and I can't get him to agree to a specific time to return him. Sometimes we'll agree on a time and then he doesn't bring him home until much later.He says that since it doesn't state specific hours, that he can keep him until midnight if he wants. Is that true? I honestly don't care much what time it is that he brings him home, but I would like to have a specific time so I know where to be at that time.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OH

I was wondering if there are standard holiday hours that the NCP has the child. I noticed that our juvinile court and common pleas court have slightly different rules, so if you need to know, we are currently going through juvinile. All I see is that we alternate holidays and I can't get him to agree to a specific time to return him. Sometimes we'll agree on a time and then he doesn't bring him home until much later.He says that since it doesn't state specific hours, that he can keep him until midnight if he wants. Is that true? I honestly don't care much what time it is that he brings him home, but I would like to have a specific time so I know where to be at that time.

What county?

 

[xxnatalixx]

What county?

Washington

 

[xxnatalixx]

another question

Dad keeps taking the clothes I send Son in and keeping them, then sending him home in torn up too small clothes. He doesn't keep everything, but it does happen quite often. I've seen pictures of SM's son wearing my son's clothes that I sent him in and they "lost". Son was there over the weekend and put on one of the shirts that he wore there from here a couple months ago. Dad literally tore the shirt off of him right down the middle of the front because Son is not allowed to wear anything I bought for him when he is at Dad's. As soon as he walks in the door he has to change clothes, shoes, everything. I don't want to go to court about it or anything, I was just wondering if it would be reasonable to ask him to bring clothes for Son to change into before he takes him. Like I said, I do send him in play clothes, but they send him home in torn up too small clothes that he cannot wear again and Son does not want to wear anything of his there anymore for fear that they will either destroy it or give it to his SB.

 

[Ohiogal]

Dad keeps taking the clothes I send Son in and keeping them, then sending him home in torn up too small clothes. He doesn't keep everything, but it does happen quite often. I've seen pictures of SM's son wearing my son's clothes that I sent him in and they "lost". Son was there over the weekend and put on one of the shirts that he wore there from here a couple months ago. Dad literally tore the shirt off of him right down the middle of the front because Son is not allowed to wear anything I bought for him when he is at Dad's. As soon as he walks in the door he has to change clothes, shoes, everything. I don't want to go to court about it or anything, I was just wondering if it would be reasonable to ask him to bring clothes for Son to change into before he takes him. Like I said, I do send him in play clothes, but they send him home in torn up too small clothes that he cannot wear again and Son does not want to wear anything of his there anymore for fear that they will either destroy it or give it to his SB.

Buy clothes are goodwill and send him in that. But that is the height of pettiness quite frankly.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OH

I was wondering if there are standard holiday hours that the NCP has the child. I noticed that our juvinile court and common pleas court have slightly different rules, so if you need to know, we are currently going through juvinile. All I see is that we alternate holidays and I can't get him to agree to a specific time to return him. Sometimes we'll agree on a time and then he doesn't bring him home until much later.He says that since it doesn't state specific hours, that he can keep him until midnight if he wants. Is that true? I honestly don't care much what time it is that he brings him home, but I would like to have a specific time so I know where to be at that time.

Yep it is true:

Holidays.
Visitation, except Christmas, shall be alternated as to each holiday and each year. The Mother shall have the children on Mother's Day; the Father shall have the children on Father's Day. The children's birthdays are to be shared or alternated by the parties. Visitation for holidays, except Christmas, that occur on a weekend or which are part of a three day weekend shall be for the entire weekend.

Christmas school vacation shall be divided so that each parent has the opportunity to celebrate the Christmas holiday with the child. If the parents are unable to agree on a division, one half of the school bread shall be spent with each parent, provided further that the children shall spend Christmas Eve from noon to midnight with one parent and Christmas Day from midnight of Christmas Eve to 10:30 p.m. with the other. The parents shall alternate first and second half of Christmas School vacation each year and shall alternate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day each year. If the parents do not otherwise agree, New Years day and New years Eve shall be spent with the parent who has the second half of the School break.

In the event the parties are members of a religious group that does not celebrate Christmas, the provisions related to Christmas Eve and Christmas Day shall not apply, but the parents shall divide or alternate their major religious celebration days, and each shall be entitled to have the children for one half of the Christmas School break.

The following are holidays to which the above rules apply: ****** Luther King Day, President's Day, Easter, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Columbus Day, Veteran's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day.

If a holiday visitation conflicts with a weekend visitation, the holiday visitation takes precedence over the weekend visitation. The weekend visitation shall be rescheduled.

Except when it is on a weekend then it ends with the weekend. The weekend hours are until 6pm. But if it is not a weekend visitation then it can go until midnight -- using Christmas as a guideline.

 

[mommyof4]

Dad keeps taking the clothes I send Son in and keeping them, then sending him home in torn up too small clothes. He doesn't keep everything, but it does happen quite often. I've seen pictures of SM's son wearing my son's clothes that I sent him in and they "lost". Son was there over the weekend and put on one of the shirts that he wore there from here a couple months ago. Dad literally tore the shirt off of him right down the middle of the front because Son is not allowed to wear anything I bought for him when he is at Dad's. As soon as he walks in the door he has to change clothes, shoes, everything. I don't want to go to court about it or anything, I was just wondering if it would be reasonable to ask him to bring clothes for Son to change into before he takes him. Like I said, I do send him in play clothes, but they send him home in torn up too small clothes that he cannot wear again and Son does not want to wear anything of his there anymore for fear that they will either destroy it or give it to his SB.

Just send him back in the same clothes he wears back to your house. Dad can't complain that you are sending him in ill-fitting clothes as those are the clothes that Dad chose in which Dad chose to dress him. Son doesn't lose anymore of his 'good' clothes. Voila...problem solved.

 

[xxnatalixx]

That's what we use to do with stepson. I kept seeing his mother's stepson wearing my stepson's good school clothes. Some were never returned. Mother does not pay child support or help in any way provide for stepson. So I sent in back in whatever I had here of hers . If I did not have anything of hers then I sent him in some old play clothes.

As stepson got older I also sent a backpack with him to put his clothes in and be responsible for. I also had let him take toys with him and thought it was a good way to teach him to be responsible for his own belongings. That also seemed to work out good .

I used to send a back pack but they won't let him take anything at all with him now. They tell him he is not to have any of "my name's" stuff when he is with them. I am going to start sending him back in their stuff I guess, I was just a bit nervous about it because we exchange at the visitation center and I thought it might make me look bad.

 

[mommyof4]

I used to send a back pack but they won't let him take anything at all with him now. They tell him he is not to have any of "my name's" stuff when he is with them. I am going to start sending him back in their stuff I guess, I was just a bit nervous about it because we exchange at the visitation center and I thought it might make me look bad.

How would it make you look any worse than Dad, who is apparently keeping kiddo's clothes in order to let the other kid wear them?

 

[sipa]

Just send him back in the same clothes he wears back to your house. Dad can't complain that you are sending him in ill-fitting clothes as those are the clothes that Dad chose in which Dad chose to dress him. Son doesn't lose anymore of his 'good' clothes. Voila...problem solved.

Ahh brilliant, and done in so many households including my own. I get rippd jeans back when I send good clothes or clothes that don't fit. So what SD comes in she leaves in....and it does solve the problem.

Funny too because you can always tell when Mom has plans Saturday night because SD comes in with decent clothes that fit since Mom knows what she sends is coming back

 

[Ohiogal]

OP you also want to take your order back to court to have it clarified regarding times. Get it spelled out. Washington County is ridiculous in my opinion.

 

[xxnatalixx]

OP you also want to take your order back to court to have it clarified regarding times. Get it spelled out. Washington County is ridiculous in my opinion.

It has caused me all kinds of problems that things aren't really spelled out more clearly. I really don't mind compromising on the times but I hate not knowing what time he's coming home. It leaves me sitting, waiting allllll day. I thought about asking for a modification, but in the past 7 years we have gone to court I'm thinking once a year and twice some. I filed for supervised visitation once, which the judge did order, and I filed contempt against him once because he refused to bring him home. Other than that, he has filed for several modifications of visitation, filed for custody twice, and filed 6 or 7 contempt charges against me, (I've NEVER been found in contempt) oh yeah, I have yet another contempt case tomorrow, and I was afraid that being in the court room so much might make me look bad. My son's counselor would also like for me to file for supervised visits and I'm a bit confused about weather or not she will be able to testify. She said she would give her eye tooth to go in there and stick up for my son, but told my attorney she doesn't know if she's allowed to testify. I was thinking that even if she isn't allowed to give a recomendation, can't she still testify to the things my son has told her and how his behavior changed dramatically when he did not have to go to his dad's for 3 months?

 

[stealth2]

I used to send a back pack but they won't let him take anything at all with him now. They tell him he is not to have any of "my name's" stuff when he is with them. I am going to start sending him back in their stuff I guess, I was just a bit nervous about it because we exchange at the visitation center and I thought it might make me look bad.

I have had this exact problem - quite literally to the point of the ex not allowing our daughter to bring *sanitary products* that I bought. Imagine the mortification of an 11yo to have her father throwing pads all over her grandparents' front lawn while screaming bloody murder about how I *dared* impose my will on her. (When I dared email her stepmom to let her know that she'd be needing them, and I'd send some in the original packaging so she'd know exactly what #2 chose to use, I was told that what products they buy in their home was none of my business and SHE (SM) would choose what was appropriate for #2. Uuuuuh, okay.)

I had them choose something to wear that was unobjectionable to their Dad, and send them in only the clothes on their backs. They took something to keep them busy on the plane if they were flying and that was *it*.

 

[xxnatalixx]

Court today

In Dad's affidavit of support for his contempt motion against me, he listed specific dates that I "denied" him visitation. I have conversations that I had with his wife on Myspace for those dates where I am asking why they didn't show up and if I should arrange for him to take the bus there next week. SM said in the messages that they were not driving out there and would not respond about the bus. Can I use these messages in court? They were having a fit because I didn't let them pick Son up from school. In the standard orders it says that transportation to the home of the non residention parent may be by bus if they choose and if they choose to pick the child up than they may pick up from either daycare or the residential parents home and the visit will start at 5:30pm. I wouldn't have minded if they picked him up from school, if SM would quit making him appointments 2 hours away from here then picking Son up without my knowledge and taking him out of town to appointments I know nothing about. She also sent me a letter about how she was going to continue picking him up when dad was in jail. Did I do something wrong by not allowing them to pick Son up at school?

 

[LdiJ]

In Dad's affidavit of support for his contempt motion against me, he listed specific dates that I "denied" him visitation. I have conversations that I had with his wife on Myspace for those dates where I am asking why they didn't show up and if I should arrange for him to take the bus there next week. SM said in the messages that they were not driving out there and would not respond about the bus. Can I use these messages in court? They were having a fit because I didn't let them pick Son up from school. In the standard orders it says that transportation to the home of the non residention parent may be by bus if they choose and if they choose to pick the child up than they may pick up from either daycare or the residential parents home and the visit will start at 5:30pm. I wouldn't have minded if they picked him up from school, if SM would quit making him appointments 2 hours away from here then picking Son up without my knowledge and taking him out of town to appointments I know nothing about. She also sent me a letter about how she was going to continue picking him up when dad was in jail. Did I do something wrong by not allowing them to pick Son up at school?

If that's really what the order says, then no, you are not in contempt. However the judge may order that the child may be picked up from school.