An update and a big thank you!

[xxnatalixx]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OH


Well, as the magistrate was saying that yet again there was no evidence that I was at fault, Dad pushed his chair back, stood up and exclaimed, "I'm done with this S@#T. F*%K this, this is a bunch of bull S@#T and leaves the courtroom in a huff. The magistrate then looks at Dad's attorney and says, "Tell me why I should not find him in contempt and put him in jail." Attorney says he'll appologize and can she have a minute to talk to him. Then magistrate says, "That's what will have to happen. Either he appologizes or he goes to jail right now." So I am excused to leave. My mom and I "hide" in the bathroom for a moment because Dad is sitting in the hallway crying and screaming. As soon as we finally come out of the bathroom dad looks at me and says, "You better watch your F%!*G A!S"
Don't know if dad is in jail now or if he finally appologized. I over heard him saying he'll never step foot in a court room again and that he is "done" with all of it, not sure if he meant the visits too but I think he does. I should really be happy right? I am in a way, but this is always going to be my kids dad and my son is always going to hurt because of the way Dad acts. I'm praying Dad and step mom grow up and stop being so angry. I would like to see us all get along some day. For now though, I prayed for God's will to be done so I trust this is it.

ANYWAY, thank you to everyone who helped me on here these past few years, even when I was screwing up too. It really helped for me to kind of see things from someone elses point of view who was not emotionally involved.

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OH


Well, as the magistrate was saying that yet again there was no evidence that I was at fault, Dad pushed his chair back, stood up and exclaimed, "I'm done with this S@#T. F*%K this, this is a bunch of bull S@#T and leaves the courtroom in a huff. The magistrate then looks at Dad's attorney and says, "Tell me why I should not find him in contempt and put him in jail." Attorney says he'll appologize and can she have a minute to talk to him. Then magistrate says, "That's what will have to happen. Either he appologizes or he goes to jail right now." So I am excused to leave. My mom and I "hide" in the bathroom for a moment because Dad is sitting in the hallway crying and screaming. As soon as we finally come out of the bathroom dad looks at me and says, "You better watch your F%!*G A!S"
Don't know if dad is in jail now or if he finally appologized. I over heard him saying he'll never step foot in a court room again and that he is "done" with all of it, not sure if he meant the visits too but I think he does. I should really be happy right? I am in a way, but this is always going to be my kids dad and my son is always going to hurt because of the way Dad acts. I'm praying Dad and step mom grow up and stop being so angry. I would like to see us all get along some day. For now though, I prayed for God's will to be done so I trust this is it.

ANYWAY, thank you to everyone who helped me on here these past few years, even when I was screwing up too. It really helped for me to kind of see things from someone elses point of view who was not emotionally involved.

i'm glad dad showed his true colors in court, and i am sad at the same time for your child.

hopefully, i really hope, dad will get the tantrum out of his system and be a parent.

 

[xxnatalixx]

i'm glad dad showed his true colors in court, and i am sad at the same time for your child.

hopefully, i really hope, dad will get the tantrum out of his system and be a parent.

That would be the best possible outcome. I'm hoping that just maybe since he figured out he and his wife can't use the court system to harass me that maybe things will calm down for once. I'm sad for my son too. He doesn't want to go on the visits right now, but that's his dad forever, and he does love him. It breaks my heart to think his dad can just drop out of his life whenever he gets mad like this. (3rd time now) Maybe a couple years of maturity is all they need. I hope.....

 

[LdiJ]

I went back and reviewed your past threads. I am halfway thinking that you should consider filing for a restraining order based on dad threatening you in the courthouse like that. However I am also halfway thinking that that might really send him around the bend too.

Be a little extra vigilent for a bit about your own personal safety, at least.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

My first inclination is that if someone will have a temper tantrum in court and use foul language, then they have NO respect for laws or courtrooms.

Has your X ever hit you in the past? Ever given you reason that he might want to hurt you? If so - even if - then file that restraining order. There are many people, because of the stresses based on the economy have been going over the deep end.

 

[xxnatalixx]

Well, the only people who were in the hall when he threatend me were him, his attorney, his wife, my mom, and me. Would my mom be enough to help me prove it? I did have the police make a note of it in case something does happen. He has never hit me before. He used to throw things and scream a lot but he never raised a hand to me. He just comes out here and makes a big scene and scares the kids. Anyway, do I really have enough to get a restraining order? If so, I may consider it, depending on if this keeps up.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

So, what was court for today? Was he trying to get custody? Did you raise any questions about holidays and return time?

 

[sipa]

Well, the only people who were in the hall when he threatend me were him, his attorney, his wife, my mom, and me. Would my mom be enough to help me prove it? I did have the police make a note of it in case something does happen. He has never hit me before. He used to throw things and scream a lot but he never raised a hand to me. He just comes out here and makes a big scene and scares the kids. Anyway, do I really have enough to get a restraining order? If so, I may consider it, depending on if this keeps up.

Oh what a day, I am so sorry for both you and son.

Why do people make threats like that, it is so dumb in this day in age.

 

[xxnatalixx]

Oh what a day, I am so sorry for both you and son.

Why do people make threats like that, it is so dumb in this day in age.

I don't know. I have tried sooo hard to get along with Dad and SM but every time things started cooling off, they came up with a new list of demands. I felt so stupid, I had to sit there and bite my lip to keep from crying and I'm sure the magistrate probably thought I was crazy becuase he ruled in my favor, but my concern is that when Dad gets mad like this, he just quits coming around and it hurts my son sooo bad. The last time we went to court was because he filed for custody and he ended up getting less visitation instead and he and his wife got so mad that they took it out on my son though, so part of me hopes he does quit taking his visits.

 

[xxnatalixx]

So, what was court for today? Was he trying to get custody? Did you raise any questions about holidays and return time?

He filed contempt against me AGAIN, claiming several days that I supposedly denied, but I had printed out myspace conversations with SM where she said they were not coming. They claimed they were not allowed to come to the door and knock when it was time to pick him up. I also had conversations with me where I asked them to please come to the door and knock so I knew they were here. (I used to watch for them, but quit when they didn't show up for several visits) They also claimed that they were suppose to have him for Thanksgiving, but they had him last year. They claimed I denied him visitation for 5 months but the truth is, they did not show up for several months and dad admitted that he didn't show up all those days. They also complained that I would not let dad pick him up from school. The standard orders say he can either get him bussed to dad's or pick him up at my residence. Several of the things they claimed had nothing to do with our order at all, like that I never sent homework there.

Oh, and I never got a chance to raise any questions about changing anything because the magistrate was still talking when Dad had his fit and left.

 

[Ohiogal]

Well, the only people who were in the hall when he threatend me were him, his attorney, his wife, my mom, and me. Would my mom be enough to help me prove it? I did have the police make a note of it in case something does happen. He has never hit me before. He used to throw things and scream a lot but he never raised a hand to me. He just comes out here and makes a big scene and scares the kids. Anyway, do I really have enough to get a restraining order? If so, I may consider it, depending on if this keeps up.

His attorney would. He can be subpoenaed for the threat. And he would have to recuse himself from the case. Dad cannot claim attorney/client privilege because he made the threat in PUBLIC and hence waived any privilege. You may have enough to get a restraining order.

 

[xxnatalixx]

? about counselor testifying

Under what circumstances would a child's counselor NOT be allowed to testify? I took my son to his counselor today and she has told me for several months now that she "is not happy at all" that my son is still going to his fathers. She has even talked to children services about it but they said they don't have adequate proof that abuse or neglect has taken place. She actually wants to testify but is not allowed to give a recomendation, which I understand, but wouldn't she still be allowed to testify to the change in my son's behavior when he has to visit dad and how much his behavior improved when he did not have to go to dad's for a few months? Also, he has told her a lot of things that have happend at Dad's that she is VERY upset about. Half the time he just says it like it's a normal every day thing, poor kid thinks that behavior is normal. Dad doesn't deny the things Son says. He just doesn't see a problem with his behavior. Anyway, she asked her boss or supervisor or whatever, what happens if she gets subpoenaed and they said they'd handle that when it happens. She and I would both like for the visits to be supervised but I don't know if she'll be able to testify, so what do I do? This is of course assuming dad isn't "done" with his visits again. Maybe I'm jumping the gun a little.

 

[Ohiogal]

Under what circumstances would a child's counselor NOT be allowed to testify? I took my son to his counselor today and she has told me for several months now that she "is not happy at all" that my son is still going to his fathers. She has even talked to children services about it but they said they don't have adequate proof that abuse or neglect has taken place. She actually wants to testify but is not allowed to give a recomendation, which I understand, but wouldn't she still be allowed to testify to the change in my son's behavior when he has to visit dad and how much his behavior improved when he did not have to go to dad's for a few months? Also, he has told her a lot of things that have happend at Dad's that she is VERY upset about. Half the time he just says it like it's a normal every day thing, poor kid thinks that behavior is normal. Dad doesn't deny the things Son says. He just doesn't see a problem with his behavior. Anyway, she asked her boss or supervisor or whatever, what happens if she gets subpoenaed and they said they'd handle that when it happens. She and I would both like for the visits to be supervised but I don't know if she'll be able to testify, so what do I do? This is of course assuming dad isn't "done" with his visits again. Maybe I'm jumping the gun a little.

She gets subpoenaed and then the court must ORDER her to testify and that the testimony be admitted.

 

[xxnatalixx]

filing for supervised visits pro se

I need A LOT of advice on this one. I'm going to file for supervised visits but I'm filing pro se and not sure exactly how to go about questioning my son's counselor. There are a lot of things she would like to say but I don't know if I am just suppose to ask her general questions about his behavior and the things that he has told her or if I have to ask specifically about each incident, or what. If she can't give a reccomendation, does that mean she can't state her opinion? We are both eager to get things started and she does not want him to have to go back at all unsupervised, but I want to make sure I've got all my ducks in a row before I file. I don't want to just go in there and make a fool of myself, but I don't know what I'm doing? I know how to make a motion to file for supervised visits, but how much info do I actually put on there, and how do I word it?

 

[MichaCA]

Speaking just as a layperson, another mom, what helps ME to prepare for court (with or without an attorney) is to write. Write up my concerns and observations. In there it will come out the role the counselor has played in this saga. Then you can highlight the areas' she has spoken to you, her assessments, opinions, etc. in general, and regarding specific informations.

I have fantasized about this kind of thing (may be I have to do the same thing here so I am curious about professional answers you get as well);
I imagine myself asking therapist specific questions...."did you say **************.." when childs name reported **************." A few hot topics to show that she has had consistant concerns about the child....and what exactly the concerns are.

Then I would ask what her professional opinion is regarding what she sees as creating better stability and well being and health for the child.