Ex being difficult regarding Memorial Day Holiday visitation

[kimberlywrites]

And with his new job he cant show up anyway.

So make it harder on him by not bringing the daughter to him, even though you have routinely done so for the last while. You are not getting your way, so time to play games. With your DAUGHTER AS THE GAME PIECE.

 

[2Mistakes]

OP, do us all a fvor before we spend any more time trying to help you.

Please type (word-for-word) what the visitation schedule is.

Pretend that Monday is not a holiday. What visitation schedule do you and your ex have?

 

[ray25]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma

I have sole custody my ex and I share joint visitation. Because he had our daughter for Memorial Day last year I should get her this year. I have been picking her up at his house and taking her to school on his visitation days due to his new job hours. When I went there today he said he plans on picking her up at my house on said holiday at 9am. I calmly said you had her for Memorial Day last year. He said it is not an official holiday and I will be picking her up. And for me to contact my attorney. What are my grounds for contacting the police to stop him from coming to my house and ruining my holiday with my daughter?

I have spoken to my attorney awhile back regarding this and told him he had her last year and I get her this year to which he wholeheartedly agreed. My question is does said holiday include her staying overnight at my home?

There is nothing in the divorce or joint visitation regarding holidays. We are rotating them as my atty. calls it to be fair.

We are jumping based on what she said I interpret it to be 50/50 but she's been taking the kid to school on his days. Monday being a non school day is probably the exchange day so it's dad's day. Hopefully she clears this up but still I don't think the answers will change.

 

[mommyof4]

So make it harder on him by not bringing the daughter to him, even though you have routinely done so for the last while. You are not getting your way, so time to play games. With your DAUGHTER AS THE GAME PIECE.

She's been doing that for a while starting with times of phone calls she would allow to FORCE Dad to call from his cell phone while in the car on the way home from work.\


It's becoming clearer and clearer exactly why Mom and Dad are apart.

 

[ray25]

OP instead of WATCHING the thread (we see you lurking) try answering the questions.

 

[wileybunch]

OP, do us all a fvor before we spend any more time trying to help you.

Please type (word-for-word) what the visitation schedule is.

Pretend that Monday is not a holiday. What visitation schedule do you and your ex have?

Well, even pretend that Monday IS a holiday if you have holiday verbiage in your court order and include that here, too (though I understand you said previously in the thread that your court order doesn't). The point is, post what your court order's language is so we can advise you.

If you plan to do as you wish regardless of the court order, then that's another matter that we can't help you with.

 

[SgtPink]

OP so whats the answer?

You need to learn to pick your battles and right now you are thinking of you and how you are going to "stick it to your ex".

You THINK he doesnt have the money to take you to court but how do you know. You may want to be careful especially if you deny her father his time. Right now you look like you are purposely trying to take his time.

Maybe if you had played nice with your ex he may have just given you the day but I bet this is not the first time you try to screw him over it is?

 

[mommabearx1]

We are jumping based on what she said I interpret it to be 50/50 but she's been taking the kid to school on his days. Monday being a non school day is probably the exchange day so it's dad's day. Hopefully she clears this up but still I don't think the answers will change.

True wasn't understanding that when I read it.Hopefully she will clear it up.

 

[Ohiogal]

From prior threads:

The parenting coordinators order states they are not to take my daughter to that church. The new visitation order is temporary and I was told there is no modification in custody therefore my daughter lives with me and stays with the 5-2-2 and alternating weekends.

I still have sole custody but doing shared visitation. That ex said they have temp. custody and because I am against their church she called me an athiest.

But then it gets confusing.
her attorney I believe:

He is also a high powered criminal attorneys so he is very busy.

And then this is supposedly her order:

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Though that has been deleted but wnbama got this out of it:

Respondent shall have physical custody according to a 5/2/2/5 Plan with the Petitioner receiving Wednesday a.m. to Friday a.m. every week. Respondent to receive Monday a.m. to Wendesday a.m. every week. That ....

Dad is respondent. Dad gets the holiday. End of story. Mom is playing games. She seems to think she has a right to dictate and she does NOT understand how life works. She has tried to prevent the child from going to counseling and various other things. She does NOT have sole custody however.

And if she calls the police on Monday - a judge would REAM her for that. She keeps it up and she WILL lose custody entirely. Right now they shared custody. Dad has every right to have his child on Monday. If mom interferes she is in contempt. Her high powered CRIMINAL attorney might come in handy then.

 

[Ohiogal]

heads up guys -- she is a liar. She is trying to get dad to pay for medical bills which are covered by insurance AND medicaid -- when asked if dad could pay the doctor or if she wanted paid directly she refused to answer. She also refuses to pay ANY money on said bills. Her daughter -- who she says is autistic also vomits continuously and she takes her to the emergency constantly:

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Okla.

I have sent medical bills to my ex for his share of the payment to no avail. It is around $2500-$3000. I am having a mtg. with my atty. this week can I take these bills to somehow force him legally to pay? It is stipulated in the divorce the %s for us to pay. He is also in contempt for dr. visit co-pays he refuses to pay those and has told me as such. Thanks!

PS the bills are sent to me as I always admit our daughter so they are in my name.

I have not paid my share and dont intend to until he pays his share and its 65% his half 35% my half. There is no stipulation of who pays first. I can't afford to pay that all at once and hospitals dont recognize the financial split from divorces.

They are 60 days past due I received the 2nd reminder from the hospital.

The bills are an emergency my daughter is a chronic vomitor and when zofran wafers dont work i have to rush her to ER so they are all necessity. My credit is very bad already from being married so it cant get any worse. The divorce says nothing about medical decisions I have sole legal custody. I make all medical decisions.

I want the court or mediator who we are seeing this month to force him to hold up his side of the payment % from the divorce.

Note: about the mediator she refused to allow the mediator to talk to her daughter and also had the mediator fired in PRIOR threads. Apparently not.

I refuse to pay this until he does reason being he will not pay his share and he has told me so. Ins. was followed this was after insurance was filed. My credit has been ruined for years. What is sad is her father screaming at me saying Stop wasting MY money on her doctors that is what's sad.

Also, wanted to ask since he is in contempt for not paying his share of her dr. appt co-pays what will my atty. ask the judge? Will a fine be handed down or what?

She said this then:

Yes she is on medicaid but that only pays so much along with insurance and I am currently unemployed I have no money to pay anything.

And that contempt question I changed the subject that was for dr. bills the co-pays I HAVE paid my share at the appt. dr's require it before services are rendered. My ex told me he has no intention of paying them and to stop wasting his money on our daughter's doctors!!! He is officially in contempt my atty. gave him 10 days to pay he has done nothing what will happen now?

I responded with:

Medicaid covers the ENTIRE out ofpocket left after insurance. It does not just cover a percentage. So I am not buying that she has medicaid and dad owes you money.
Did you tell dad he could pay the doctor directly? Or do you want him to send YOU the money?
And quite frankly you are in contempt as well.

And she shut up on that thread which was in November. In September regarding the mediator she had stated this:

My atty. instructed the mediator to NOT to contact me and make appts. involving my daughter. My dad recorded the phone chat and the assist. said the mediator can go tell the judge I am non compliant because I hiired an attorney thats like punishing me for getting counsel.

She was only appointed for 3 years that has now expired. She was ordered to be the PC in the divorce not the current temp. visitation order. My atty. has fired her before for going over and above what her job title is. Our psychologist that i saw in 2004 can confirm that. They were in the same office and he saw how she was and he moved out of their office. She is on the bad list of at least 10 attorneys in Tulsa. She is not fair she leaned towards my ex and favored him.

Her attorney basically is an idiot and doesn't have a clue. Her attorney does NOT have the power to fire a mediator APPOINTED by the court.

 

[mommyof4]

From prior threads:


But then it gets confusing.
her attorney I believe:


And then this is supposedly her order:




Though that has been deleted but wnbama got this out of it:


Dad is respondent. Dad gets the holiday. End of story. Mom is playing games. She seems to think she has a right to dictate and she does NOT understand how life works. She has tried to prevent the child from going to counseling and various other things. She does NOT have sole custody however.

And if she calls the police on Monday - a judge would REAM her for that. She keeps it up and she WILL lose custody entirely. Right now they shared custody. Dad has every right to have his child on Monday. If mom interferes she is in contempt. Her high powered CRIMINAL attorney might come in handy then.

The title of this thread should actually read:

I'm being a PITA about Memorial Day visitation because I can't stand the fact that my daughter's father is actually granted the right to parent his child and spend time with her because I can't get over the fact that Dad can't stand me because I am a controlling, passive aggressive B and because I didn't have the brains to realize that a court order is the ruling factor, even for perfect, wonderful me.

 

[ray25]

Well she is a gem then isn't she? Good Gawd I feel sorry for all the kids that get stuck in the middle of the petty bull that is going on. I also worry about the kids being raised by these people. Daughter will probably grow up to be just like mom.

 

[mommabearx1]

Thanks for slearing that up OG I am very slow today, !!

 

[wileybunch]

Good grief. Why do people even bother wasting their time coming on here to LIE? Yeah, you've been alternating holidays through some side out of court agreement we worked out years ago and ALL OF A SUDDEN, inexplicably, Dad changes course and thinks he's having child 2 Memorial Days in a row now and I can't for the life of me figure out why in heaven he would think such a thing?!?

 

[Just Blue]

How is it fair for him to have this holiday 2 years in a row? We switch holidays He had her for Easter last year this year I got her.

Who told you life is fair?

Go kick that person in the shins

~SilverPlum~