Fathers Day

[stealth2]

NOTHING is more important than a child being with their dad.

Of course, then you have the Dads who choose not to have the kids on Father's Day. So we're celebrating with my Dad instead. <shrug>

 

[janM]

Fathers Day is, after all, Father's Day. NOTHING is more important than a child being with their dad.

This is true, and not just on Father's Day.

And then there are my 4 grandkids, all being raised by dads - my daughter's 3 with her ex, and my son's boy with son and his wife (who are having their 2nd anniversary tomorrow).

 

[californiamom3]

Yes I did give in. Sent him email agreeing to 6pm.
Guess who's now not coming out?
Yep, you guessed it! He didn't even have his supervisor set up for that time or ANY time for that matter.
I must say that I do feel good knowing that he had the option of spending time with them. I feel bad for the kiddos that the whole thing was just a control game for him to get me to agree on a time he wanted.
This is now 2 weeks in a row that he hasn't had his visitation.
Some people never change!
On a happier note I'd like to wish all the fathers out there a happy day filled with children and joy!

 

[BBQ Pope]

you did the right thing, calimom. it's his loss, but unfortunately, it's also your children's loss. i don't mean to get too personal, but how do you break it to your kids when their dad does stuff like this? because i'm pretty new to this whole divorce thing (like i said, papers haven't even been filed yet) and i just don't know how to break it to the boys when their mom doesn't come through on a night that's hers or doesn't make it to a baseball game when she says she will. i just tell them that something came up and she couldn't make it, which i think is the best way to go, but my step son knows her schedule and knows she doesn't get O.T. so he pretty much knows that she just decides not to come through. it breaks my heart. and telling her how it upsets him just pisses her off. apparently, when i do that i'm trying to "run her life".

 

[CourtClerk]

Yes I did give in. Sent him email agreeing to 6pm.
Guess who's now not coming out?
Yep, you guessed it! He didn't even have his supervisor set up for that time or ANY time for that matter.
I must say that I do feel good knowing that he had the option of spending time with them. I feel bad for the kiddos that the whole thing was just a control game for him to get me to agree on a time he wanted.
This is now 2 weeks in a row that he hasn't had his visitation.
Some people never change!
On a happier note I'd like to wish all the fathers out there a happy day filled with children and joy!

Oh get over it and cut the dramatics. You sound like all you're missing is a cape with a big S on the back of it.

For all of you who know that your ex other halves are flakes, there are ways of setting up visitation days/times and never letting your kids know whether or not they are going with their other parent. You DON'T have to let your kids in on every plan ever made, even if it concerns them. I know some of you would just like to make sure that you look good in the end, but really, that's not what it's about. It's really NOT ABOUT YOU and never will be/has been. Yes, I know you'll next say "i'm not making this about me," but read this thread objectively and see just how much you HAVE made this all about you, while trying to deflect it on others.

You don't get brownie points for crap* (edited because M would ban me forever) you're SUPPOSED to do.

 

[CJane]

Fathers Day is, after all, Father's Day. NOTHING is more important than a child being with their dad.

Oh please. It's a DAY on a CALENDAR.

My step-dad of 30 years died in February. I will miss him forever, and so will my children. But he taught me that it didn't really matter what DAY things happened on as long as the love was expressed. I'll stick with that.

Yes, my girls are with their Father today. And I called my Dad. But it's not THAT big of a deal. Really.

 

[profmum]

Oh please. It's a DAY on a CALENDAR.

My step-dad of 30 years died in February. I will miss him forever, and so will my children. But he taught me that it didn't really matter what DAY things happened on as long as the love was expressed. I'll stick with that.

Yes, my girls are with their Father today. And I called my Dad. But it's not THAT big of a deal. Really.

Signed and cosigned. I have taught my DD not to really focus on a particular day for any holiday since she is not always with me. We find a day or a weekend or some time either before or after the "holiday" that she is not with me and "celebrate" it then. Works very well for us, allows DD to enjoy the "holiday" with both her parents and has limited a lot of tantrums from Xfiles which he invariably does over any holiday!

 

[profmum]

Yes I did give in. Sent him email agreeing to 6pm.
Guess who's now not coming out?
Yep, you guessed it! He didn't even have his supervisor set up for that time or ANY time for that matter.
I must say that I do feel good knowing that he had the option of spending time with them. I feel bad for the kiddos that the whole thing was just a control game for him to get me to agree on a time he wanted.
This is now 2 weeks in a row that he hasn't had his visitation.
Some people never change!
On a happier note I'd like to wish all the fathers out there a happy day filled with children and joy!

You did not give in, you took the high road and guess what if you continue to take this road, it will minimize your stress about the ex's show/no show and outrage you feel about his lack of planning and over time he will either fade away or decide to step up to the plate when he realizes he does not have to fight you..if he is never going to change then minimize the stress on yourself by arranging the visitation.. we are talking a few hours not months here!

 

[LdiJ]

Oh please. It's a DAY on a CALENDAR.

My step-dad of 30 years died in February. I will miss him forever, and so will my children. But he taught me that it didn't really matter what DAY things happened on as long as the love was expressed. I'll stick with that.

Yes, my girls are with their Father today. And I called my Dad. But it's not THAT big of a deal. Really.

I am cosigning as well. While I do feel that parents should respect things like Mother's day, Father's day and the parents birthdays (AND should make sure that their children recognize those days) I am from a family that often celebrates "events" on alternate days and have admired many other families who do the same.

One of my very favorite people (and she was my daughter's nanny for several years) always celebrates Thanksgiving on the saturday after the holiday, so that none of her adult children ever have to worry about deciding where to spend the actual holiday...or have to eat two dinners on the "day".

I decided long ago that if I ever end up with a similar situation, that I would do the same.

 

[californiamom3]

My family and I often celebrate holidays and special occasions on a different day. I agree, it's not about the calendar day. It's about spending time together. This past year my mothers side of the family and mine celebrated Christmas in January. It was just as nice.
I know that dad was only demanding 6pm out of spite and control because supervisor called me last night to tell me he was out of town and had already told dad that supervisor couldn't make it early last week.
Only the oldest kiddo asked about it. I told her that her dads supervisor fell through. Nothing more, nothing less. The other two kiddos didn't even ask.
I'm sort of glad that the days events (my previous plans) became scrapped.
We made a nice Fathers Day breakfast, then sat around and watched movies all day.
In my last email to dad I asked if he wanted a day for a visit sometime this week. I wonder what will happen......

 

[wileybunch]

Oh please. It's a DAY on a CALENDAR.

My step-dad of 30 years died in February. I will miss him forever, and so will my children. But he taught me that it didn't really matter what DAY things happened on as long as the love was expressed. I'll stick with that.

Yes, my girls are with their Father today. And I called my Dad. But it's not THAT big of a deal. Really.

I agree with that and personally can't stand when adults make a big deal of their birthday, for example.

But, in these cases, that is between the "child" and the parent whose "day" it is. The issue is when another parent or other person decides to lay their values onto the situation and decide if/how much/whether something is of value or not between 2 other individuals. So in this case, OP needs to back up about the situation and stop adding a 3rd dimension that can pull in another direction. She's not a part of their relationship.