Stepmom has cut off co-parenting

[cherylsarah01]

What is the name of your state CA. My ex-husband and I have 50/50 joint legal and physical custody of our 8 year old daughter. Our daughter lives one week with me and then one week with her dad. We have successfully coparented for years through so many things. He is remarried and so am I. My daughter's step mother has completley cut off our coparenting together and we are not allowed to talk to each other. I have tried to coparent with her and even offered to take coparenting classes with her but she has refused. She has even emailed me telling me what new changes she has made. For example, I am not allowed at my daughter's school or to participate in her school activities, plays, science fair and so on during his weeks. In the past school was a neuteral ground and we could both attend no matter whos week it was because things seem to fall on one parent's week more than the other. I am not allowed to get out of my car when I pick my dauther up from their house. Functions when she is older and we both have to be there I have to make sure I sit or stand at the opposite part of the room. She has wished me off the face of this earth. She has not disclosed where or when my dauther is while on vacation. A complete violation of our custody agreement. She has threated to sue me for full custody if I try to get any child support. She will not give me her medical information or a card for my wallet although I have provided the dental and vision card for their wallet. The list goes on. I think my ex does not even know all she has said and done to me. My question is what are my rights as her mother and a good attentive mother who loves to be involved as much as I can in my daughter's life especially her school life. I will never and have never interfered with my ex husband and his wife's life or home life. I will only discuss my daughter and nothing more. Please any advice.

The other thing is I am not able to get a hold of him. They have shut his cell phone off that he has had for 5 years and if I call the house she will not let me talk with him and then he gets mad at me for interferring with their life and then accuses me of trying to keep my foot in their door. I have not spoken to him in over a year since they got together. They married after one month of being together. My daughter is not allowed to call me or talk to me when she is at their house. I am not allowed to call or talk to her. I am not perfect but I encourage my daughter to talk to her daddy whenever she wants. She could call him to say good night for all I care. She knows how to use the phone no problem but she said Daddy and Stepmom won't allow her to call me. So you see I can't talk to my daughter let alone speak with my ex. I don't know what to do about this. Some more info, we were together since we were 17, together for 7 years before we married and then married for 11 years. Seperated for almost a year and divorced for 4.

 

[TheGeekess]

StepMom is overstepping all over the place. You can gather your evidence and have a no third party interference clause added to the court order.

StepMom does not have the right to tell you diddly. You do not co-parent with StepMom, you co-parent with Dad. Tell StepMom to pound sand, refuse to communicate with her and only communicate with Dad.

 

[cherylsarah01]

Thank you, I have told her not to contact me anymore

 

[Isis1]

Thank you, I have told her not to contact me anymore

and do not respond to anything this hairbrained nutcase has to say. she calls, don't answer. she e-mails, block her address. she shows up, don't answer the door.

i'm a bit of a trouble maker, so i would make a point at saying hello to dad at school functions, sit right in front. not flirty, just hi. then i would make a point at getting out of my car at drop offs to give child a hug goodbye. then again, i have an attitude problem.

 

[Banned_Princess]

Wouldn't she want to keep the emails, and any messages to help her with the "no third party interference" suit?

I would, then have a order of protection ordered for my protection.

 

[Banned_Princess]

I wouldn't do that. I'd be saving those emails for court!

I agree. Save them and all saveable communication for court.

 

[cherylsarah01]

The stepmom has even gone to my daughter's school and took out all of my emergency contact information and put on there that she and my ex have full custody. After that I had to prove to the pricipal of the school that I had joint custody with a copy of my custody agreement.

 

[cherylsarah01]

I have saved all of her emails to use if it goes to court. I have tons and tons of emails to use but I had to finally cut her off because it was causing me undue stress that I don't want.

 

[Isis1]

The stepmom has even gone to my daughter's school and took out all of my emergency contact information and put on there that she and my ex have full custody. After that I had to prove to the pricipal of the school that I had joint custody with a copy of my custody agreement.

hook line and sinker. she just buried herself. i would like to know how on earth she proved she has full custody.

you don't have to do any work with this one. she's got enough stupidity to shoot herself in the foot. let her talk in court. the courtroom could use the laugh.

 

[Banned_Princess]

Super immediately, like today. the sooner the better, and if you have a good enough case maybe your 50/50 can go down to 80/20. I mean if that is what you want. I would, after all that, want to make sure my daughter has as little contact with the woman as possible. If she is causing all that trouble all over the place, you know she is talking S*** at home in front of your girl. And you want your daughter to see you stand up for yourself. That's a bonus.

 

[cherylsarah01]

Super immediately, like today. the sooner the better, and if you have a good enough case maybe your 50/50 can go down to 80/20. I mean if that is what you want. I would, after all that, want to make sure my daughter has as little contact with the woman as possible. If she is causing all that trouble all over the place, you know she is talking S*** at home in front of your girl. And you want your daughter to see you stand up for yourself. That's a bonus.

Yeah that is what I was thinking and what do you think about me changing my duaghter's school to the district that I live in? I do want to keep her father in her life as much as possible.

 

[Antigone*]

and do not respond to anything this hairbrained nutcase has to say. she calls, don't answer. she e-mails, block her address. she shows up, don't answer the door.

i'm a bit of a trouble maker, so i would make a point at saying hello to dad at school functions, sit right in front. not flirty, just hi. then i would make a point at getting out of my car at drop offs to give child a hug goodbye. then again, i have an attitude problem.

oh Bella...no wonder I like you...I've got cuernitos too!!!

OP ~ my advice to you is to keep things very positive about dad and step mom to your daughter. Don't ever involve her in any of the bitter dealings, make sure that you are sweet to evil step mom in front of her and never let her hear you talking about her.

I wish you the best. Take care, ana

 

[Ohiogal]

Yeah that is what I was thinking and what do you think about me changing my duaghter's school to the district that I live in? I do want to keep her father in her life as much as possible.

Request that but you NEED to go through court to do so.File a court case ASAP.

 

[Banned_Princess]

Yeah that is what I was thinking and what do you think about me changing my duaghter's school to the district that I live in? I do want to keep her father in her life as much as possible.

Personally, I would go one step at a time. Have the principal write about how she went in to change the records, when there was no change, And if he wants to be in her life(your daughter and her father) maybe he should put a leash on his pit bull. You said your not sure he knows. Being served will let him know. And what a better way to say, "I am not going to be pushed around by a stranger." and "if you want to continue to have a big part in youngins life, grow a set and be a man," You and him seem to have gotten along up till now. maybe he really doesn't know.

 

[pos_parenting]

my situation is very similar to yours. sometimes the stepmom thinks its looks better on them to "show" that they love our children as if they are their own to where they purposely try to push us out of the children's lives...when in fact they are doing more harm than ever. my ex also is married to a woman that holds his balls in her coin purse and has tried numerous times to convince the world that my existence is not necessary because .....taaaa daaaaa...she's the new mrs. "smith". stepmommy schemes are ineffective if your relationship with your child is a great one. all that matters is the relationship between the biological parents & the child. nothing can break that bond.