Can we move?!

[Post..Laura]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? AZ

Okay I am the mother to a 6 yr old boy and a 20 month old girl. I had court today for a emergency temporary custody hearing where the judge granted me sole legal custody and supervised visitation for their dad. He has to take a drug test once a week and we go back to court on Dec. 7.

Father has been convicted of possesion of marijuana, DUI and criminal impersonation. He also has a current Aggrevated DUI charge that will be tried on 8/31. He is on SSI and deemed Seriously Mentally Ill by AZ. Does not work, lives at home with his mama, no car or drivers license. Got married to an 18 yr old that he knew for 2 weeks?! My question is this:

I am getting remarried in 2 weeks and my fiance is in the Army. He just recieved his orders and will be stationed in Germany for 2 years. I filed a modification of custody/visitation so we can move. It includes reasonable visitation.. 1 week during Christmas break, 1 week for Spring break and 4 weeks in summer. I agree to pay half of all travel costs no matter where we are stationed. What else can I do to ensure that it will be granted?! My kids can't stay without me!!!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[starting over]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? AZ

Okay I am the mother to a 6 yr old boy and a 20 month old girl. I had court today for a emergency temporary custody hearing where the judge granted me sole legal custody and supervised visitation for their dad. He has to take a drug test once a week and we go back to court on Dec. 7.

Father has been convicted of possesion of marijuana, DUI and criminal impersonation. He also has a current Aggrevated DUI charge that will be tried on 8/31. He is on SSI and deemed Seriously Mentally Ill by AZ. Does not work, lives at home with his mama, no car or drivers license. Got married to an 18 yr old that he knew for 2 weeks?! My question is this:

I am getting remarried in 2 weeks and my fiance is in the Army. He just recieved his orders and will be stationed in Germany for 2 years. I filed a modification of custody/visitation so we can move. It includes reasonable visitation.. 1 week during Christmas break, 1 week for Spring break and 4 weeks in summer. I agree to pay half of all travel costs no matter where we are stationed. What else can I do to ensure that it will be granted?! My kids can't stay without me!!!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I just want to clarify. Dad is on Supervised visits, but you are stating that you are willing to send your children to him for up to 1 - 4 weeks at a time? Im confused, it would seem to me that you don't consider him that much of a danger to them?!?

 

[LdiJ]

I just want to clarify. Dad is on Supervised visits, but you are stating that you are willing to send your children to him for up to 1 - 4 weeks at a time? Im confused, it would seem to me that you don't consider him that much of a danger to them?!?

He lives with his mother and my guess is that she is the supervisor...at least that would be the most common scenario.

It would be very difficult for a judge to deny mom the right to relocate with the children in this case, even to Germany, because CLEARLY the judge cannot justify giving primary custody to dad.

However, mom, the judge isn't going to make dad pay for 1/2 of the transportation for visitation. That is all going to be on you. So if you cannot afford three trips a year, you better change your offer.

 

[starting over]

He lives with his mother and my guess is that she is the supervisor...at least that would be the most common scenario.

It would be very difficult for a judge to deny mom the right to relocate with the children in this case, even to Germany, because CLEARLY the judge cannot justify giving primary custody to dad.

However, mom, the judge isn't going to make dad pay for 1/2 of the transportation for visitation. That is all going to be on you. So if you cannot afford three trips a year, you better change your offer.

That does make sense, I guess. I was just thinking if I were in the same situation, I don't know if I would be "comfortable" being in another Country relying on someone to Supervise 24/7 for such an extended period. Just thinking, got to try to stop that

Another thing, with the age of the children wouldn't they need to be accompanied on such a flight. Mom might find herself funding an additional r/t ticket to escort.

 

[LdiJ]

That does make sense, I guess. I was just thinking if I were in the same situation, I don't know if I would be "comfortable" being in another Country relying on someone to Supervise 24/7 for such an extended period. Just thinking, got to try to stop that

Another thing, with the age of the children wouldn't they need to be accompanied on such a flight. Mom might find herself funding an additional r/t ticket to escort.

Yes, that's very possible, which would make it even more expensive. Although if mom tied it in with visiting HER family, that would mitigate the cost somewhat.

 

[Post..Laura]

No I am not comfortable with sending them back here, but I don't know what else to offer!! He is their father but he CANNOT take care of them in any way.. I was told in a situation like this he has to screw up first in order to terminate visitation?! I can't be the superviser for him even though that would be the best scenario because we don't get along and thats a position I can't be in. There arent any orders of protection or anything its just not feasible. I offered the visitation schedule in my request for modification before the temp orders and before he admitted in open court that he HAS smoke marijuana in the last 2 weeks. Can I change what I am asking for now that this has been brought in?? In our parenting plan now we pay for half of travel costs, not that there is any, but, would that change if we move?

 

[LdiJ]

No I am not comfortable with sending them back here, but I don't know what else to offer!! He is their father but he CANNOT take care of them in any way.. I was told in a situation like this he has to screw up first in order to terminate visitation?! I can't be the superviser for him even though that would be the best scenario because we don't get along and thats a position I can't be in. There arent any orders of protection or anything its just not feasible. I offered the visitation schedule in my request for modification before the temp orders and before he admitted in open court that he HAS smoke marijuana in the last 2 weeks. Can I change what I am asking for now that this has been brought in?? In our parenting plan now we pay for half of travel costs, not that there is any, but, would that change if we move?

Heck yes that would change. You will be creating a huge and expensive distance between the two of you. Dad should not have to suffer financial hardship because you would be moving to another country.

 

[starting over]

Father has been convicted of possesion of marijuana, DUI and criminal impersonation. He also has a current Aggrevated DUI charge that will be tried on 8/31. He is on SSI and deemed Seriously Mentally Ill by AZ. Does not work, lives at home with his mama, no car or drivers license. Got married to an 18 yr old that he knew for 2 weeks?! My question is this:

Im not a lawyer, the Seniors here are the ones with the knowledge. But the pot smoking doesnt concern me nearly as much as the statement above. How mentally ill is he? Is he a danger to himself or others? Is he medicated, does he comply with the dosing? Just wondering.

 

[Post..Laura]

Okay so if I am willing to pay for all travel arrangements..I'm still in a bind of not knowing if my kids will be safe here. My ex husbands mother is the one that makes sure my kids are taken care of when they are over there, but with his recent marriage, I would assume that they will be moving in together.. if that isn't in his mothers house do I have grounds to file for restricted visitation or something? I dont know what it would be called. I dont want to take them away but I dont know what else to do!!?!

 

[Post..Laura]

He is SEVERELY mentally ill..He suffers from Bi-Polar, Adult ADD, severe depression, social anxiety, panic attacks and isolated paranoia (he hears voices at times) No he is not medicated, he has "self" medicated in the past and thats what the pot smoking is also. He has been prescribed MANY different kinds but wont take them. Has tried to commit suicide twice, once was close. He is a danger to himself more than anything.

 

[Servicefun]

It would be very difficult for a judge to deny mom the right to relocate with the children in this case, even to Germany, because CLEARLY the judge cannot justify giving primary custody to dad.

you giving me hope! I thinks the same.

 

[poppabear]

Is it possible for the kids to stay with your family while here, and just go to visitation for certain times during the week?

You are choosing to put yourself in this position. You are not being forced to get married, or to move out-of-country. You can wait 2 years to get married. You can get married and live here while your husband is in Germany. You state that you don't really know if your kids will be safe here for supervised visitation.
So you are either not really that concerned because you are willing to put your kids in this situation, or you really are worried, but care more about getting married and being with your new husband.

Should something happen to your kids while with their dad, how are you going to feel knowing that you chose to put them in danger? You either need to decide that you aren't going to endanger your kids, or accept that if something does happen it was because you were willing to put your kids in a dangerous situation so that you can be with your new man.

 

[LdiJ]

Okay so if I am willing to pay for all travel arrangements..I'm still in a bind of not knowing if my kids will be safe here. My ex husbands mother is the one that makes sure my kids are taken care of when they are over there, but with his recent marriage, I would assume that they will be moving in together.. if that isn't in his mothers house do I have grounds to file for restricted visitation or something? I dont know what it would be called. I dont want to take them away but I dont know what else to do!!?!

Since he is already ordered to have supervised visitation, with his mother as the supervisor that should not change. Visitation should have to take place at grandma's house, even if he moves into a place of his own. That should be written into the orders.

However, I have to tell you, that after reading his diagnosis, and the fact that he refuses to medicate, it makes me nervous that the children are safe enough with grandma supervising. It makes me nervous that grandma is safe as well, and for that matter, his wife too.

 

[profmum]

He is SEVERELY mentally ill..He suffers from Bi-Polar, Adult ADD, severe depression, social anxiety, panic attacks and isolated paranoia (he hears voices at times) No he is not medicated, he has "self" medicated in the past and thats what the pot smoking is also. He has been prescribed MANY different kinds but wont take them. Has tried to commit suicide twice, once was close. He is a danger to himself more than anything.

Here is a simple solution, don't relocate to Germany, or does the well being of your kids, given all your enormous concerns matter less than being with your boyfriend? That is called parenting..

 

[Just Blue]

Here is a simple solution, don't relocate to Germany, or does the well being of your kids, given all your enormous concerns matter less than being with your boyfriend? That is called parenting..

THANK YOU! I can't believe that the OP would even CONSIDER moving in this situation!