Wants to see son after 14 years

[cvj]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Indiana

In April of 2008 my son's father filed a motion for modification of visitation. I did not show up for court and he was awarded visitation. On 09/11/2009 he made his first contact with me via Myspace requesting visitation with my son. I replied that visitation was not in my son's best interest and to let the courts handle this.

Some facts -

I have never missed a court date pertaining to my son. His father has missed nine. There were extremely extenuating circumstances as to why I was not there.

My son will be 14 in one month. He DOES NOT want to see his biological dad. He has been in counseling, and it is the counselor's professional opinion he should not have contact with him.

It has been over one year since father was permitted visitation, and we have received no contact until now. I have filed my address with the court as I am supposed to. We have had no letters, calls, cards - nothing.

The father now says if I do not hand over my son for visitation, that I am in contempt of court and will be sent to jail. He has stated he will find my address. I am afraid he will show up here out of the blue. He has a violent criminal history.

He is over $30,000 behind in child support. He has not even tried to see my son until now. My son wrote him and said he did not want to see him. Father replied (to me) that it doesn't matter what my son wants, he will see him anyway.

This man truly does not have my son's best interest at heart. He recently got out of jail for non-payment of support and stated "If you can throw me in jail every chance you get, then I can see my son." However, because he is so far behind in child support, the case is in the hands of the state. I have nothing to do with it.

I don't care if I get his money. Can I drop support? I'm very concerned about my son's well-being. What can I do?

Does it show that the father is unstable as a parent because he waited 1.5 years after being awarded visitation to have any contact whatsoever?

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Indiana

In April of 2008 my son's father filed a motion for modification of visitation. I did not show up for court and he was awarded visitation. On 09/11/2009 he made his first contact with me via Myspace requesting visitation with my son. I replied that visitation was not in my son's best interest and to let the courts handle this.

Some facts -

I have never missed a court date pertaining to my son. His father has missed nine. There were extremely extenuating circumstances as to why I was not there.

My son will be 14 in one month. He DOES NOT want to see his biological dad. He has been in counseling, and it is the counselor's professional opinion he should not have contact with him.

It has been over one year since father was permitted visitation, and we have received no contact until now. I have filed my address with the court as I am supposed to. We have had no letters, calls, cards - nothing.

The father now says if I do not hand over my son for visitation, that I am in contempt of court and will be sent to jail. He has stated he will find my address. I am afraid he will show up here out of the blue. He has a violent criminal history.

He is over $30,000 behind in child support. He has not even tried to see my son until now. My son wrote him and said he did not want to see him. Father replied (to me) that it doesn't matter what my son wants, he will see him anyway.

This man truly does not have my son's best interest at heart. He recently got out of jail for non-payment of support and stated "If you can throw me in jail every chance you get, then I can see my son." However, because he is so far behind in child support, the case is in the hands of the state. I have nothing to do with it.

I don't care if I get his money. Can I drop support? I'm very concerned about my son's well-being. What can I do?

Does it show that the father is unstable as a parent because he waited 1.5 years after being awarded visitation to have any contact whatsoever?

You made a huge mistake by not showing up in court - no matter what the reason.

If he doesn't get the court-ordered visitation, you can certainly be held in contempt.

 

[cvj]

Can I file another modification for visitation since so much time has passed and present new evidence?

 

[cvj]

He was awarded visitation but has not enforced it. The is no court order stating specific visiting times and stipulations. I admit I made a VERY big mistake. What is done is done. What I need to know is if I have any legal recourse.

 

[BL]

Does the child's therapist recommendations come after the court order of visitations ?

If so,it's a change of circumstances and you can file a modification and have a GAL appointed and also have the child's therapist recommendations entered for the court to consider .

In the meantime there are court orders in place that you must follow , or face contempt of court orders and possibly sanctions .

 

[cvj]

What is the exact wording of the court order.

It is a notice to vacate the hearing. It says that the father was awarded visitation. I don't have it here with me, unfortunately.

It does not elaborate. That is all it says.

 

[cvj]

Does the child's therapist recommendations come after the court order of visitations ?

If so,it's a change of circumstances and you can file a modification and have a GAL appointed and also have the child's therapist recommendations entered for the court to consider .

In the meantime there are court orders in place that you must follow , or face contempt of court orders and possibly sanctions .

Yes. Also, we have moved 1.5 hours away, and it was filed with the court. I believe this is a substantial change of circumstances also. I could not notify the father because he had not shown back up to jail after being released for back surgery. No one knew where he was and his address on file was not correct.

 

[cvj]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Indiana

What does the court order say? If there is a court order it doesnt matter what you think is your son's best interest. If it was that much of a concern you would have either been in court or asked for a continuence. You have no right to withold child[/QUOTE]

While this on the surface seems correct, it is not true. However, I did miss the date and the reason does not matter with the court. I agree.

[/QUOTE]You could of had a lawyer represent you that day, asked for a continuence many other things. Yet you chose not to.[/QUOTE]

I did not choose to. However, the fact remains is this is what the court will think also. So now I have to deal with it.

[/QUOTE]He doesnt get that choice[/QUOTE]

At 14 in the state of Indiana the child has a say in the matter. It is not the final say, however.

[/QUOTE]Then why did you not go to court and have him testify. Why are you just now bringing this up .[/QUOTE]

It had not happened yet.

[/QUOTE]IF the court order still gives him visitation he has to be available for that visitation If you want it changed you petition the court.[/QUOTE]

No visitation has been specified.

He is right you will be in contempt if he has court ordered visitation and you do not produce the child.

[/QUOTE]Child support and visitation are two seperate issues. Dad is right. Son doesn't get a say and its time you start trying to help child rebuild a relationship with dady or go to court and have it changed. You cannot just change the order.[/QUOTE]

I agree. So I can go to court and have it changed?

[/QUOTE]Support and visitation again seperate issues.[/QUOTE]

I know this.

[/QUOTE]you cannot just drop the support if its through the state.[/QUOTE]

Unfortunately...

[/QUOTE]Maybe but there is still a court order in place (right?) and dad still has rights as dad. No matter what your opinion of the situation may be.[/QUOTE]

I agree. I am not mitigating that fact at all.

 

[cvj]

Sorry about the above post. I tried to quote and answer. I don't know how!

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Sorry about the above post. I tried to quote and answer. I don't know how!

if you are just quoting one post, use the post button... if you are attempting to quote multiple posts, use the "+ button just to the right of it for the first, then if you are ready to move on, use the quote button on the last....

 

[cvj]

Thank you for the info!

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Thank you for the info!

I had the same problem in my earlier posts... someone gave me instructions as well... glad I could pass the info along...

Good Luck!

 

[cvj]

What is the exact wording of the court order.

mwarren, do you have any advice for me? There are no exact times or stipulations in the order. It simply states he was awarded visitation rights.

 

[LdiJ]

It is a notice to vacate the hearing. It says that the father was awarded visitation. I don't have it here with me, unfortunately.

It does not elaborate. That is all it says.

You need to find that piece of paper and tell us exactly what it says...because a notice to vacate a hearing is something very different than perhaps what you think it is.

I also think that you need to go down to the courthouse where the hearing was held and get a copy of the file. Typically if a judge is going to order visitation in Indiana, the judge is going to order you to follow the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines. Therefore specifics would be ordered if visitation was ordered at all.

 

[cvj]

What is a notice to vacate hearings?