ErinGoBragh
Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY
I recently received the following e-mails from my father:
Hi to all,
I need to please have a current or up coming current address for each of you so I can input on my beneficiary forms I am filling out. Please note that if you are in transit or not sure where you will be in 2 yrs please let me know so I will use my address for you.
Since I am married, (New Wife) will get all my assets when and if I pass away (we plan on living to 100), she in turn will provide a portion of my assets to each of you. If I were to pass away sooner then later I have instructed (New Wife) to hold the funds till each of you are in a part of your life were you will use the funds appropriately. (New Wife) will have full rights to live in the cabin for as long as she lives then it will pass on to you all unless she determines to sell prior to her death. Again I have the up most faith and trust in (New Wife)that she will make sure you each get your share of my estate when the appropriate time comes after I pass away. (New Wife) is also entitled to use my assets to provide for her living expenses as well when I pass on till the point she does. Understand that (New Wife) also has assets of her own that she brought into the marriage and by rights those assets will pass on to her children when she dies. Sounds all morbid but this is part of what needs to be done to make sure all is set straight in case one of us predeceases the other. If we were both to pass on at same time then you each are equal shares as my Contingent Beneficiary. The cabin may still go to (Dad's Best Friend) in that case so he can take care of selling it and making sure monies I owe to him are returned to him and you each know that (Best Friend) will pass on your share of the cabin when he decides to sell it.
Love Dad
___
Hey E & (Middle sister),
E, I and we (New Wife and I) are doing real well. Yes I am living at (New Wife's house which is located at ***.
I will use my address up on hill for you all then. The deal is you each get 25% since (New Wife) gets 25% but for simplicity sakes (New Wife) gets 100% then will divvy up each of your 25% if she feels you are in a spot that you will use the money wisely. I worked real hard for it so I do not want something like what is happening with (Youngest Sister) to just piss it a way if you know what I mean. Life insurance will pay our after death but my retirements will not for a while I think and then maybe not till (New Wife) draws on it. The cabin will stay with (New Wife) till her death or if she decides to sell first, which she will have the option to do. When she passes away it will then go to (Best Friend) to handle if not already sold, regardless when it is sold you first will all have a chance for purchasing it at a reduced price (sale price minus your share) from your sisters since keeping it in the family is first preference. Even when (New Wife) passes away I am sure she will take any funds left that she has not used from my accounts and pass on to you kids since her kids will have what ever she has acquired as well as a windfall from their dad whom is well off. The bottom line and I am sure you understand is that (New Wife) is my wife and I want her to be very comfortable and enjoy her life after I pass away so her financial future is my first concern, she is a special woman and like the trust (Best Friend) has in me I have in her. So you are all lucky to have such a great step-mom, (Ex-Girlfriend's Name) I was more concerned about and since she is still in my will I need to change this real fast.
Also (middle sister) has (her son) and I want to protect (her son) if something happens to (middle sister), see if (new wife) and I pass away at same time you guys as alternate beneficiaries get equal shares or 33 1/3% each but if one or you is dead it goes 50/50 and this is not fair to (middle sister's son). So I think (middle sister) you need to think of setting up a trust will so that even if you are dead my funds pass on to (middle sister's son) in a trust account. I also trust your sisters would make sure he gets his share, same is true if any of you have children at later date. Complicated but needed to assure all are equally served by my death.
Love Dad
___________
I don't even know what to make of this. He was engaged to and married his new wife within two weeks of meeting her, and yes, what my father does in his relationships and with his money is HIS business. I realize that, and new wife SEEMS like a good person. I like her, I really do, but I don't know her well.
My question is though- is there any way for me and my sisters to protect OUR interests with this e-mail revelation that new wife gets all, but then is supposed to divy it up? We are talking about quite a substantial amount of assets and I am worried that what my father wants will not happen. I have spoken to him regarding this, but he will not alter the current arrangement and accuses us of distrusting his new wife, who we barely even know. Keep in mind, I have never, EVER asked my father about his intentions towards us after his death before. All of this information was offered up completely at his behest.
Also, this trust business he mentions- trusts are extremely expensive to establish, correct? I ask because my middle sister is 23 and a single mom.. she doesn't exactly have the money to establish a trust if it is expensive, although I do think it's a good idea, as I care very much for my nephew and want to see the best happen for his interests should anything ever, God forbid, happen to my sister.
Please, any help you could give me would be taken to heart and appreciated.
I recently received the following e-mails from my father:
Hi to all,
I need to please have a current or up coming current address for each of you so I can input on my beneficiary forms I am filling out. Please note that if you are in transit or not sure where you will be in 2 yrs please let me know so I will use my address for you.
Since I am married, (New Wife) will get all my assets when and if I pass away (we plan on living to 100), she in turn will provide a portion of my assets to each of you. If I were to pass away sooner then later I have instructed (New Wife) to hold the funds till each of you are in a part of your life were you will use the funds appropriately. (New Wife) will have full rights to live in the cabin for as long as she lives then it will pass on to you all unless she determines to sell prior to her death. Again I have the up most faith and trust in (New Wife)that she will make sure you each get your share of my estate when the appropriate time comes after I pass away. (New Wife) is also entitled to use my assets to provide for her living expenses as well when I pass on till the point she does. Understand that (New Wife) also has assets of her own that she brought into the marriage and by rights those assets will pass on to her children when she dies. Sounds all morbid but this is part of what needs to be done to make sure all is set straight in case one of us predeceases the other. If we were both to pass on at same time then you each are equal shares as my Contingent Beneficiary. The cabin may still go to (Dad's Best Friend) in that case so he can take care of selling it and making sure monies I owe to him are returned to him and you each know that (Best Friend) will pass on your share of the cabin when he decides to sell it.
Love Dad
___
Hey E & (Middle sister),
E, I and we (New Wife and I) are doing real well. Yes I am living at (New Wife's house which is located at ***.
I will use my address up on hill for you all then. The deal is you each get 25% since (New Wife) gets 25% but for simplicity sakes (New Wife) gets 100% then will divvy up each of your 25% if she feels you are in a spot that you will use the money wisely. I worked real hard for it so I do not want something like what is happening with (Youngest Sister) to just piss it a way if you know what I mean. Life insurance will pay our after death but my retirements will not for a while I think and then maybe not till (New Wife) draws on it. The cabin will stay with (New Wife) till her death or if she decides to sell first, which she will have the option to do. When she passes away it will then go to (Best Friend) to handle if not already sold, regardless when it is sold you first will all have a chance for purchasing it at a reduced price (sale price minus your share) from your sisters since keeping it in the family is first preference. Even when (New Wife) passes away I am sure she will take any funds left that she has not used from my accounts and pass on to you kids since her kids will have what ever she has acquired as well as a windfall from their dad whom is well off. The bottom line and I am sure you understand is that (New Wife) is my wife and I want her to be very comfortable and enjoy her life after I pass away so her financial future is my first concern, she is a special woman and like the trust (Best Friend) has in me I have in her. So you are all lucky to have such a great step-mom, (Ex-Girlfriend's Name) I was more concerned about and since she is still in my will I need to change this real fast.
Also (middle sister) has (her son) and I want to protect (her son) if something happens to (middle sister), see if (new wife) and I pass away at same time you guys as alternate beneficiaries get equal shares or 33 1/3% each but if one or you is dead it goes 50/50 and this is not fair to (middle sister's son). So I think (middle sister) you need to think of setting up a trust will so that even if you are dead my funds pass on to (middle sister's son) in a trust account. I also trust your sisters would make sure he gets his share, same is true if any of you have children at later date. Complicated but needed to assure all are equally served by my death.
Love Dad
___________
I don't even know what to make of this. He was engaged to and married his new wife within two weeks of meeting her, and yes, what my father does in his relationships and with his money is HIS business. I realize that, and new wife SEEMS like a good person. I like her, I really do, but I don't know her well.
My question is though- is there any way for me and my sisters to protect OUR interests with this e-mail revelation that new wife gets all, but then is supposed to divy it up? We are talking about quite a substantial amount of assets and I am worried that what my father wants will not happen. I have spoken to him regarding this, but he will not alter the current arrangement and accuses us of distrusting his new wife, who we barely even know. Keep in mind, I have never, EVER asked my father about his intentions towards us after his death before. All of this information was offered up completely at his behest.
Also, this trust business he mentions- trusts are extremely expensive to establish, correct? I ask because my middle sister is 23 and a single mom.. she doesn't exactly have the money to establish a trust if it is expensive, although I do think it's a good idea, as I care very much for my nephew and want to see the best happen for his interests should anything ever, God forbid, happen to my sister.
Please, any help you could give me would be taken to heart and appreciated.
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