My Father's Will

[ErinGoBragh]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I recently received the following e-mails from my father:

Hi to all,



I need to please have a current or up coming current address for each of you so I can input on my beneficiary forms I am filling out. Please note that if you are in transit or not sure where you will be in 2 yrs please let me know so I will use my address for you.



Since I am married, (New Wife) will get all my assets when and if I pass away (we plan on living to 100), she in turn will provide a portion of my assets to each of you. If I were to pass away sooner then later I have instructed (New Wife) to hold the funds till each of you are in a part of your life were you will use the funds appropriately. (New Wife) will have full rights to live in the cabin for as long as she lives then it will pass on to you all unless she determines to sell prior to her death. Again I have the up most faith and trust in (New Wife)that she will make sure you each get your share of my estate when the appropriate time comes after I pass away. (New Wife) is also entitled to use my assets to provide for her living expenses as well when I pass on till the point she does. Understand that (New Wife) also has assets of her own that she brought into the marriage and by rights those assets will pass on to her children when she dies. Sounds all morbid but this is part of what needs to be done to make sure all is set straight in case one of us predeceases the other. If we were both to pass on at same time then you each are equal shares as my Contingent Beneficiary. The cabin may still go to (Dad's Best Friend) in that case so he can take care of selling it and making sure monies I owe to him are returned to him and you each know that (Best Friend) will pass on your share of the cabin when he decides to sell it.



Love Dad

___
Hey E & (Middle sister),



E, I and we (New Wife and I) are doing real well. Yes I am living at (New Wife's house which is located at ***.

I will use my address up on hill for you all then. The deal is you each get 25% since (New Wife) gets 25% but for simplicity sakes (New Wife) gets 100% then will divvy up each of your 25% if she feels you are in a spot that you will use the money wisely. I worked real hard for it so I do not want something like what is happening with (Youngest Sister) to just piss it a way if you know what I mean. Life insurance will pay our after death but my retirements will not for a while I think and then maybe not till (New Wife) draws on it. The cabin will stay with (New Wife) till her death or if she decides to sell first, which she will have the option to do. When she passes away it will then go to (Best Friend) to handle if not already sold, regardless when it is sold you first will all have a chance for purchasing it at a reduced price (sale price minus your share) from your sisters since keeping it in the family is first preference. Even when (New Wife) passes away I am sure she will take any funds left that she has not used from my accounts and pass on to you kids since her kids will have what ever she has acquired as well as a windfall from their dad whom is well off. The bottom line and I am sure you understand is that (New Wife) is my wife and I want her to be very comfortable and enjoy her life after I pass away so her financial future is my first concern, she is a special woman and like the trust (Best Friend) has in me I have in her. So you are all lucky to have such a great step-mom, (Ex-Girlfriend's Name) I was more concerned about and since she is still in my will I need to change this real fast.



Also (middle sister) has (her son) and I want to protect (her son) if something happens to (middle sister), see if (new wife) and I pass away at same time you guys as alternate beneficiaries get equal shares or 33 1/3% each but if one or you is dead it goes 50/50 and this is not fair to (middle sister's son). So I think (middle sister) you need to think of setting up a trust will so that even if you are dead my funds pass on to (middle sister's son) in a trust account. I also trust your sisters would make sure he gets his share, same is true if any of you have children at later date. Complicated but needed to assure all are equally served by my death.



Love Dad

___________

I don't even know what to make of this. He was engaged to and married his new wife within two weeks of meeting her, and yes, what my father does in his relationships and with his money is HIS business. I realize that, and new wife SEEMS like a good person. I like her, I really do, but I don't know her well.


My question is though- is there any way for me and my sisters to protect OUR interests with this e-mail revelation that new wife gets all, but then is supposed to divy it up? We are talking about quite a substantial amount of assets and I am worried that what my father wants will not happen. I have spoken to him regarding this, but he will not alter the current arrangement and accuses us of distrusting his new wife, who we barely even know. Keep in mind, I have never, EVER asked my father about his intentions towards us after his death before. All of this information was offered up completely at his behest.

Also, this trust business he mentions- trusts are extremely expensive to establish, correct? I ask because my middle sister is 23 and a single mom.. she doesn't exactly have the money to establish a trust if it is expensive, although I do think it's a good idea, as I care very much for my nephew and want to see the best happen for his interests should anything ever, God forbid, happen to my sister.


Please, any help you could give me would be taken to heart and appreciated.

 

[anteater]

My question is though- is there any way for me and my sisters to protect OUR interests...

Pray that your father is getting professional estate planning advice? And hope that the professional can make more sense of your father's wishes than his emails demonstrate?

Really, you and your sisters don't have any interests to protect yet. And, if he doesn't want to discuss the matter... well, there isn't much that you can do.

Unfortunately all that about middle sister and her son and setting up a trust now does not argue well for how father is planning his estate. If, for some reason, the son ends up inheriting from your father and he is still a minor, arrangements can be made at that time. Not knowing what type of documents he has created and exactly what they say, that is about all that can be said.

 

[Zigner]

I have an easy solution for you. Suggest that your dad and his new wife meet with an estate planner to decide the best way to deal with THEIR assets. Also, point out that you have no problem with whatever he decides, as you never considered yourself entitled to any of HIS assets anyway.

 

[ErinGoBragh]

Pray that your father is getting professional estate planning advice? And hope that the professional can make more sense of your father's wishes than his emails demonstrate?

Really, you and your sisters don't have any interests to protect yet. And, if he doesn't want to discuss the matter... well, there isn't much that you can do.

Unfortunately all that about middle sister and her son and setting up a trust now does not argue well for how father is planning his estate. If, for some reason, the son ends up inheriting from your father and he is still a minor, arrangements can be made at that time. Not knowing what type of documents he has created and exactly what they say, that is about all that can be said.

Thank you Ant.. I think that I am going to give my father the card of someone affiliated with my office who does Estate Planning and ask my father to call her. If this is TRULY what he wants, it seems to me that he has it structured all wrong, with few protections in place for what he says he wishes to have happen. I think if I refer him to someone I know the reputation of well, but don't work directly with, maybe I can get him to call.

As I said, there are significant (1 million plus) worth of assets involved, and that's just what my father has made me aware of. Whatever his wishes should be, he should get them sealed tight, and from I gather now, his attorney is not very good. The attorney who is helping him now advised him in a lease matter for my sister which my father co-signed on that the entire lease was legal and binding, despite the lease including a clause that states that the landlord may enter any time unannounced (which invalidates the lease in NYS, as this provision is against state law).. while this is a story for another forum, I bring it up because just that alone shows the attorney giving advice in an area that he clearly knows nothing about.

My father is stubborn when it comes to these things; on suggestion that at the very least he name my middle sister as "per stirpes" so this portion of his wishes could at least go through in SOME way, he digs in his heels and says that's all wrong.. and I work in insurance. I think he won't listen to me because I'm just a secretary, but maybe he will listen to someone who has real experience in the field. He talks about this stuff all the time now since the e-mails were brought up, and it's sort of aggravating since what he says doesn't make much sense to me either. I'll see what happens though when I give him the card. Maybe with no pressure to call, he'll make a move.


Thank you again very much.

 

[Zigner]

The attorney who is helping him now advised him in a lease matter for my sister which my father co-signed on that the entire lease was legal and binding, despite the lease including a clause that states that the landlord may enter any time unannounced (which invalidates the lease in NYS, as this provision is against state law)..

All that means is that THAT clause is invalid. Wouldn't invalidate the entire lease.

 

[ErinGoBragh]

I have an easy solution for you. Suggest that your dad and his new wife meet with an estate planner to decide the best way to deal with THEIR assets. Also, point out that you have no problem with whatever he decides, as you never considered yourself entitled to any of HIS assets anyway.

Thank you.. I am going to do just that. To be honest, I don't really care what he does (I'm not going to say the money wouldn't be nice, but it's HIS money to with what he pleases, and having him around for as long as possible is the best thing I would wish for)- but he sounds like he doesn't really know WHAT he wants. There are just too many things that could go wrong from what he states now, and he needs to make sure that his wishes, whatever they are, get carried out in the least fuddled manner possible.

 

[ErinGoBragh]

All that means is that THAT clause is invalid. Wouldn't invalidate the entire lease.

Ahh, okay. My grandmother, a realtor, had said differently- I think I need to read the real estate forums more. Thank you for the clarification!