Lots of questions.. advice please

[lovemybaby09]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

Hello everyone!

OK.. to make a LONG story short.

Went to court back in 2004.. got temp orders. Father has been paying and things have been fine.

Since then he has changed jobs and also sees her less now (gets paid a little more now as well) and has still pays the temp order amount. First question - Would he have to pay back child support in this case?

Onto now.. problems came up and it's time to go back to court. second question is - I live in a different county now then where the temp orders were placed. Can I go to a court in my current county or will I need to go back to the other county?

OK.. the father is mad.. yada-yada and is now saying that my husbands income will matter when we go back to court and he will actually pay less. So.. is that true? Because I have ZERO income. I am very thankful that I get to stay home with my 3 children.. but I don't see how child support between him and I would matter with my husbands income? That just doesn't seem right.. ?

He is also so upset that now he wants her EVERY weekend. Does this get granted often? He is a single guy who can barely keep a home for himself.. he doesn't even have a bedroom for her when she is with him. I would of course fight this because I would like to have birthday parties for her.. go to birthday parties.. weekend camps, family functions, sports, etc. You know.. all the things you would do on a weekend. So now I am really worried about this. It's just him being selfish and trying to get me to back down from taking him to court... egh!

Any advice/help is REALLY appreciated!

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

Hello everyone!

OK.. to make a LONG story short.

Went to court back in 2004.. got temp orders. Father has been paying and things have been fine.

Since then he has changed jobs and also sees her less now (gets paid a little more now as well) and has still pays the temp order amount. First question - Would he have to pay back child support in this case?

What back support?

If he's paid on time as per the most current order, no. If you try for an upwards modification he'll have to pay the new amount but it won't be retroactive.

Onto now.. problems came up and it's time to go back to court. second question is - I live in a different county now then where the temp orders were placed. Can I go to a court in my current county or will I need to go back to the other county?

OK.. the father is mad.. yada-yada and is now saying that my husbands income will matter when we go back to court and he will actually pay less. So.. is that true? Because I have ZERO income. I am very thankful that I get to stay home with my 3 children.. but I don't see how child support between him and I would matter with my husbands income? That just doesn't seem right.. ?

Your husband's income won't be included in the calculations, no. What is the basis for you wanting to modify the amount?

(Bear in mind your ex could argue that you should also be financially supporting your child)

He is also so upset that now he wants her EVERY weekend. Does this get granted often? He is a single guy who can barely keep a home for himself.. he doesn't even have a bedroom for her when she is with him. I would of course fight this because I would like to have birthday parties for her.. go to birthday parties.. weekend camps, family functions, sports, etc. You know.. all the things you would do on a weekend. So now I am really worried about this. It's just him being selfish and trying to get me to back down from taking him to court... egh!

Any advice/help is REALLY appreciated!

Y'know, there's just something not gelling with this paragraph. Maybe the way it's phrased. I don't know.

Anyway. Dad also has the right to have parties for her, weekend camps, family functions etc as you BOTH have that right. With that said it's highly unlikely he'd be awarded every weekend.

 

[lovemybaby09]

What back support?

If he's paid on time as per the most current order, no. If you try for an upwards modification he'll have to pay the new amount but it won't be retroactive.

Sorry.. I didn't know if when he switched jobs and it wasen't reported.. and he makes more money and sees her less then maybe that would make support go up?



Your husband's income won't be included in the calculations, no. What is the basis for you wanting to modify the amount?

I don't get much as it is.. he makes more money now and well, he should give what he can. It's only fair.

(Bear in mind your ex could argue that you should also be financially supporting your child)


Y'know, there's just something not gelling with this paragraph. Maybe the way it's phrased. I don't know.

Ack.. lol sorry! I am doing a million things at once here and I didn't mean to make it sound odd...

Anyway. Dad also has the right to have parties for her, weekend camps, family functions etc as you BOTH have that right. With that said it's highly unlikely he'd be awarded every weekend.

On no.. I totally get that he has that right.. and I have NO iddues with that what-so-ever! I just do not want to lose MY weekends with her because of those things. I just wanted to know if it's common for fathers to get every weekend when asked.

Thanks so much for your reply!

 

[Proserpina]

Sorry.. I didn't know if when he switched jobs and it wasen't reported.. and he makes more money and sees her less then maybe that would make support go up?

Generally not unless you report it and petition for a modification at the time.

I don't get much as it is.. he makes more money now and well, he should give what he can. It's only fair.

How much more? (and again, you need to be supporting the child)

(Bear in mind your ex could argue that you should also be financially supporting

Anyway. Dad also has the right to have parties for her, weekend camps, family functions etc as you BOTH have that right. With that said it's highly unlikely he'd be awarded every weekend.

On no.. I totally get that he has that right.. and I have NO iddues with that what-so-ever! I just do not want to lose MY weekends with her because of those things. I just wanted to know if it's common for fathers to get every weekend when asked.

Every other weekend is the standard.

 

[lovemybaby09]

Generally not unless you report it and petition for a modification at the time.

OK then..


How much more? (and again, you need to be supporting the child)

(Bear in mind your ex could argue that you should also be financially supporting

I am not sure how much more he makes as he refuses to tell me. I know he is not raking in millions or anything lol. And I AM supporting her.. well, my husband and I. His little bit of support honestly doesn't do much for her anyways.. but I won't complain.. at least he does pay! But I want an order and modification since he has a new job.. different days off, etc. and I don't want a check because he always has reason to pay late.. so I want to have it pulled from his checks automatically.
Every other weekend is the standard.

Good to know.

Thank you again!

 

[lovemybaby09]

Can someone advise on the different counties?

Our temp orders are in one county.. I am in another. Do I need to go back to that county? Or is there someway to get it taken care of where I am at now?

 

[Ohiogal]

Can someone advise on the different counties?

Our temp orders are in one county.. I am in another. Do I need to go back to that county? Or is there someway to get it taken care of where I am at now?

You have issues. YOU WILL be imputed an income and your husband's income could come into play in that respect depending. Why are you not working? You need to also be financially supporting your child. Just because dad earns more and you are voluntarily sitting at home doesn't mean that dad's support should increase. The county that issued the temp orders has the case.

 

[lovemybaby09]

You have issues. YOU WILL be imputed an income and your husband's income could come into play in that respect depending. Why are you not working? You need to also be financially supporting your child. Just because dad earns more and you are voluntarily sitting at home doesn't mean that dad's support should increase. The county that issued the temp orders has the case.

I have issues? Get real! I asked a few questions I was unsure about. I am not working because I do not have to. I do not want someone else raising my 3 kiddos (6,4 and 18m) so I can go to work just to pay for childcare. My husband makes enough money for me to be able to stay home and do this. My children are all WELL taken care of... and well loved. I honestly could care less if they increase it because if they do.. it probably wouldn't be much more anyways. But I do want things re-worked and done right. I wouldn't even be thinking about going back to court if HE wasen't the one throwing threats my way.. HE didn't want to pay this month because he needs new tires.. I said too bad.. and he has to pay and then he has been blowing up my phone saying he is taking me to court, wants every weekend, etc. He is just mad at me because.. oh geeze.. stupid little me expects him to pay his child support. Puh-leeze! Why should my child not get her support this month because he can't save a dime and have spare money for some stinkin' tires?

Yeah.. I do NOT have issues. Thanks though.

 

[Ohiogal]

I have issues? Get real! I asked a few questions I was unsure about. I am not working because I do not have to. I do not want someone else raising my 3 kiddos (6,4 and 18m) so I can go to work just to pay for childcare. My husband makes enough money for me to be able to stay home and do this. My children are all WELL taken care of... and well loved. I honestly could care less if they increase it because if they do.. it probably wouldn't be much more anyways. But I do want things re-worked and done right. I wouldn't even be thinking about going back to court if HE wasen't the one throwing threats my way.. HE didn't want to pay this month because he needs new tires.. I said too bad.. and he has to pay and then he has been blowing up my phone saying he is taking me to court, wants every weekend, etc. He is just mad at me because.. oh geeze.. stupid little me expects him to pay his child support. Puh-leeze! Why should my child not get her support this month because he can't save a dime and have spare money for some stinkin' tires?

Yeah.. I do NOT have issues. Thanks though.

Yes you do have issues. Nice vent. Re-read your thread.

Why should he buy "stinkin' tires"? Ummm, next week you will be here griping because he wants to take YOUR child with him in a car that is not safe due to the fact that its tires are bald. Seriously. Lets review why you have issues:

But I want an order and modification since he has a new job.. different days off, etc. and I don't want a check because he always has reason to pay late.. so I want to have it pulled from his checks automatically.

You want, you want, you want.

OK.. the father is mad.. yada-yada and is now saying that my husbands income will matter when we go back to court and he will actually pay less. So.. is that true? Because I have ZERO income. I am very thankful that I get to stay home with my 3 children.. but I don't see how child support between him and I would matter with my husbands income? That just doesn't seem right.. ?

His child support can be decreased. Because YOU WILL be imputed an income. And sometimes depending on the circumstances the court can consider hubby's income. After all, you are voluntarily NOT working. You are voluntarily UNEMPLOYED. You have a financial responsibility here as well.

I don't get much as it is.. he makes more money now and well, he should give what he can. It's only fair.

Truthfully YOU should be financially supporting YOUR child. That would be fair. But you just want HIM to pay more.

Yep, lady you have issues.

 

[LdiJ]

I have issues? Get real! I asked a few questions I was unsure about. I am not working because I do not have to. I do not want someone else raising my 3 kiddos (6,4 and 18m) so I can go to work just to pay for childcare. My husband makes enough money for me to be able to stay home and do this. My children are all WELL taken care of... and well loved. I honestly could care less if they increase it because if they do.. it probably wouldn't be much more anyways. But I do want things re-worked and done right. I wouldn't even be thinking about going back to court if HE wasen't the one throwing threats my way.. HE didn't want to pay this month because he needs new tires.. I said too bad.. and he has to pay and then he has been blowing up my phone saying he is taking me to court, wants every weekend, etc. He is just mad at me because.. oh geeze.. stupid little me expects him to pay his child support. Puh-leeze! Why should my child not get her support this month because he can't save a dime and have spare money for some stinkin' tires?

Yeah.. I do NOT have issues. Thanks though.

This forum tends to dislike stay at home parents for some reason. They don't get that its legally ok for a stepparent or even a grandparent to voluntarily take on the parent's share of the child's support...therefore avoiding daycare.

However, you could be imputed an income...or may have already been imputed an income, based on what you could be earning. Of course, you could also ask them to impute daycare for the 3 children as well...so its kind of a moot point.

There is almost no chance at all that a judge would give him every weekend. However, I have seen non custodial parents get 3 weekends a month. Its not very common unless its agreed upon by the parents or is a condition of the custodial parent moving and creating additional distance, making it impossible for weekday visitation to continue.

 

[Isis1]

This forum tends to dislike stay at home parents for some reason. They don't get that its legally ok for a stepparent or even a grandparent to voluntarily take on the parent's share of the child's support...therefore avoiding daycare.

However, you could be imputed an income...or may have already been imputed an income, based on what you could be earning. Of course, you could also ask them to impute daycare for the 3 children as well...so its kind of a moot point.

There is almost no chance at all that a judge would give him every weekend. However, I have seen non custodial parents get 3 weekends a month. Its not very common unless its agreed upon by the parents or is a condition of the custodial parent moving and creating additional distance, making it impossible for weekday visitation to continue.

well, that's unfair LD. because i think it's great that some moms have the capability to stay at home when they can.

what i honestly believe, what OG is trying to convey isn't the fact that mom is staying at home, but more the fact that mom is complaining about not getting her money and using her argument as such. kind of like, egging her on to say the man she has sex with provides her share so it's all paid for. (yeah, i think OG enjoys her argument)

OP needs to change her arguement strategy.

dad isn't abiding the court order. take him to court. that's all. and by the way, if dad was trying to sneak getting the disability payments for himself, the disability officer might not have been able to contact you in the first place.

 

[Ohiogal]

This forum tends to dislike stay at home parents for some reason. They don't get that its legally ok for a stepparent or even a grandparent to voluntarily take on the parent's share of the child's support...therefore avoiding daycare.

However, you could be imputed an income...or may have already been imputed an income, based on what you could be earning. Of course, you could also ask them to impute daycare for the 3 children as well...so its kind of a moot point.

There is almost no chance at all that a judge would give him every weekend. However, I have seen non custodial parents get 3 weekends a month. Its not very common unless its agreed upon by the parents or is a condition of the custodial parent moving and creating additional distance, making it impossible for weekday visitation to continue.

No one here dislikes stay at home parents. What is disliked is the attitude that because someone decided to stay home that the OTHER PARENT needs to pay more in child support. And regarding daycare, actually no -- daycare will NOT be imputed. Daycare is based on ACTUAL costs. If she decides to get a job then the daycare for the child at issue for support can be considered. The fact that she has OTHER children is NOT the problem of the ex.

Caselaw does not show that daycare costs would be imputed.

 

[Proserpina]

Nobody is against SAHPs.

Heck, some of us are in that category ourselves.

The problem tends to be with SAHPs who on one hand complain about their ex not paying enough child support but on the other hand are up in arms and take the Grand Old Hissy Fit Of Indignant Defense when asked why they aren't also working themselves to support that child.

Let's at least get the argument right.

(and OP, I'm not pointing at anyone. But I do like clarification of who is saying what and about whom! )

 

[LdiJ]

Nobody is against SAHPs.

Heck, some of us are in that category ourselves.

The problem tends to be with SAHPs who on one hand complain about their ex not paying enough child support but on the other hand are up in arms and take the Grand Old Hissy Fit Of Indignant Defense when asked why they aren't also working themselves to support that child.

Let's at least get the argument right.

(and OP, I'm not pointing at anyone. But I do like clarification of who is saying what and about whom! )

I am cool with someone pointing out the facts of life to a SAHP.

I am not cool with telling an SAHP that they are also obligated to work and support the child, even if someone else is willing to step up to the plate and take on that responsibility on their behalf. This forum tends to make it sound like they are doing something wrong if they are a SAHP.

I thought that she sounded a little preoccupied with the child support but the bottom line is that if dad's income has increased, she is entitled to ask for a modification. We also don't know that her original child support order didn't impute an income for her...since that is very much the norm these days.

 

[Ohiogal]

I am cool with someone pointing out the facts of life to a SAHP.

I am not cool with telling an SAHP that they are also obligated to work and support the child, even if someone else is willing to step up to the plate and take on that responsibility on their behalf. This forum tends to make it sound like they are doing something wrong if they are a SAHP.

I thought that she sounded a little preoccupied with the child support but the bottom line is that if dad's income has increased, she is entitled to ask for a modification. We also don't know that her original child support order didn't impute an income for her...since that is very much the norm these days.

No -- this forum does not tend to make it sound that way. YOU seem to read it that way however. Both parents are LEGALLY OBLIGATED to financially support their children. That is fact. That is also something that this OP doesn't seem to quite get. She doesn't earn ANY income as she has said:

Because I have ZERO income. I am very thankful that I get to stay home with my 3 children.. but I don't see how child support between him and I would matter with my husbands income? That just doesn't seem right.. ?

In which case the court can use her hubby's income to IMPUTE her an income if it so chooses. That is ONE WAY a court can impute. That is fact. Her hubby's income can come into play due to the fact she has ZERO income. Hubby's income could also come into play if she were requesting a deviation from the child support amount. There is caselaw to support those two situations. There is NOTHING to support the fact that daycare would be imputed if an income is imputed. Though I am sure you know someone who had that happen.