baby's name?

[justalayman]

until paternity is established, mom has no legal requirement to allow you to see the baby at all.

"Don't call (ex) again or we'll get you for harassment.

I would follow that suggestion because until the court adjudicates paternity, you are simply a person harassing the mother. You are not the father.

Just wait until you go to court.

 

[hopekendrick]

babys name

I have serious doubts that thsi babys yours, because she would have been wanting you there to sign them papers mad or not, so she could get child support. i think she probably gave the baby his last name or she gave it her last name, until she could figure out whisch one of you she could get the most money out of. I do like the fact that you are standing up being a man at a young age. Have you even considered the idea of adoption. It would be the best thing that you and she could do for that baby, if you are the father of it, the courts will make sure you do a dna before they give her any money from you at all after you are determined to be the the daddy. If you arent the daddy, say thank god, and go on with your life and go to college. one last thing use protection from now on, or wait until you are serious with a girl. You have all of your life to be parents! why young people think that this is all it is to life and rushing it is beyond me. Have a a life and do things in your life, before you start having ones to take care of. You never stop being a parent to a child no matter what the age, and i promise you you will be giving them money and helping them out well past the age of 18. then you will be doing the grandchildren. If you are going to do these things with awoman at least love her and be marrried to her.

 

[ecmst12]

She's done ALL the hard work to bring the kid into the world so far...why shouldn't it have her name?

 

[waitinMd]

Have you even considered the idea of adoption.

he can not choose to have the child adopted...

 

[mom482]

you need to request the name change at the paternity hearing. if you do not do it at the time paternity is established - it will most likely never happen. my ex didn't ask at the intitial hearing and when he got in a tizzy a year or two later he asked for it while filing other custody nonsense and it was denied over and over. he was told he should have done it at the time of paternity.
be aware they will hyphenate the name w/ her name if you two weren't married.
of course she wants to file for support but not give any visitation!! make sure you ask for as much time as possible, given that its an infant, that will likely start w/ daily contact for a few hours and graduate into longer visits and overnights. but if you pursue the max in the beginning you will have better chances of getting 50-50 as the baby gets older.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

I have serious doubts that thsi babys yours, because she would have been wanting you there to sign them papers mad or not, so she could get child support. i think she probably gave the baby his last name or she gave it her last name, until she could figure out whisch one of you she could get the most money out of. I do like the fact that you are standing up being a man at a young age. Have you even considered the idea of adoption. It would be the best thing that you and she could do for that baby, if you are the father of it, the courts will make sure you do a dna before they give her any money from you at all after you are determined to be the the daddy. If you arent the daddy, say thank god, and go on with your life and go to college. one last thing use protection from now on, or wait until you are serious with a girl. You have all of your life to be parents! why young people think that this is all it is to life and rushing it is beyond me. Have a a life and do things in your life, before you start having ones to take care of. You never stop being a parent to a child no matter what the age, and i promise you you will be giving them money and helping them out well past the age of 18. then you will be doing the grandchildren. If you are going to do these things with awoman at least love her and be marrried to her.

Until such time as he is adjudicated as the father, he's not. However, if this child is his, (mom has the right to name the child whatever she wishes as she is the ONLY parent this child has legally at this point) most of your statement is irrelevant. He's shown at least on this forum and in the clerk's office that he's willing to stand up and be a father to the child. Don't discourage him from these types of statements. HE doesn't even have to think for a hot second about adoption. There is NO reason he can't with the mother provide for the child. NO reason!

Side note to OP: I commend you on being willing to be responsible for the life, care and future of this child. Keep your chin up, you're on the right track!

 

[waitinMd]

be aware they will hyphenate the name w/ her name if you two weren't married.

typically they will hyphenate, but not always. I was not married to the mother. I wanted the childs entire name changed.... she disagreed... the judge told her that since she was insisting on the first and middle name, that I got to choose the last name, so the child has my last name. It depends on the judge, and maybe he was appalled at the horrid middle name my daughter has

 

[hopekendrick]

babys name

All i was saying is,It's going to be hard paying child support to her working at mcdonalds for the next 4 years of his life, and whatabout if he wanted to go to college, Why should he stop his life and education for her, and the baby might not even be his. I hope for his sake its not. Its good that he is doing the right thing, But the girl being alone with the baby and having to do everything herself and at 2 am in the morning doing everything shes not mature enough to handle a baby. i know a girl in the same situation and the guy is helping her out some but not much, and she gets ticked off because he still wants to go hunting and fishing and all the single things a guy wants to do, and he gave the baby his last name and went through everything with her the whole time. but in the end, everyone knows it comes down to the mom. She did it to herself, and she did it to the guy and the poor baby is the one that suffers because neither one of them are ready to parents and give up their young lifes, give this girl a few months and by the time the dna comes back and if it is his and he wants to give it up as adoption she probably will to, cause she will want her life back, as a teenager. that would be the best thing for the baby. not that he will forget about it because he want but, he will be going on with his life in the meantime while waiting on these test, and I promise you not many 18year old guys want to give up their sports or life to do diaper changes at 2 am, and she will be tired of it herself.He might be lucky enough that this will happen and she start calling him to come get the baby. I hope thats true for him.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

All i was saying is,It's going to be hard paying child support to her working at mcdonalds for the next 4 years of his life, and whatabout if he wanted to go to college, Why should he stop his life and education for her, and the baby might not even be his. I hope for his sake its not. Its good that he is doing the right thing, But the girl being alone with the baby and having to do everything herself and at 2 am in the morning doing everything shes not mature enough to handle a baby. i know a girl in the same situation and the guy is helping her out some but not much, and she gets ticked off because he still wants to go hunting and fishing and all the single things a guy wants to do, and he gave the baby his last name and went through everything with her the whole time. but in the end, everyone knows it comes down to the mom.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It doesn't come down to the mom... You can't make that kind of general statement!

IF the child is his, he doesn't have to put anything on hold! He can still do all of the things he WANTS to do, as long as he does the things he HAS to do....


She did it to herself, and she did it to the guy and the poor baby is the one that suffers because neither one of them are ready to parents and give up their young lifes, give this girl a few months and by the time the dna comes back and if it is his and he wants to give it up as adoption she probably will to, cause she will want her life back, as a teenager. t

WOW... just WOW....

hat would be the best thing for the baby. not that he will forget about it because he want but, he will be going on with his life in the meantime while waiting on these test, and I promise you not many 18year old guys want to give up their sports or life to do diaper changes at 2 am, and she will be tired of it herself.He might be lucky enough that this will happen and she start calling him to come get the baby. I hope thats true for him.

another WOW.... just WOW....

 

[waitinMd]

wow from me also...

jc don't listen to that hobknocker.... you are doing the right thing...

it does NOT all come down to mom....

 

[joycrick]

Thanks for all of the replies.

I'm still not sure that I understand the process. We don't have to go to court for a judge to order ex (mom) to do the paternity test? We will just get a notification to do the DNA test? I offered to do a paternity test on the umbilical cord blood.... even paid a deposit, and ex wouldn't do it. So, I'm not sure that she'll do it if it isn't court ordered**************

I'm not sure who said this "she's done ALL the hard work so far". I agree, but it's not for lack of my trying. I can't help the fact that God decided that women would carry children. I would've done it if I could. I asked to take her to the doctor. I asked if she needed anything..... She just cut off all contact. I'm not sure what else I should've done?

And to whoever suggested adoption...... I haven't considered it at all because I am perfectly capable of taking care of my baby. Believe me, if I thought someone could love her more, or give her a better life than I can, I would be all for it. I am not against adoption at all. I have a huge amount of support from my family, and I have no doubt that I can provide for her and give her a happy life. Why would I give her up?

I will be certain to request the name change the first chance I get in front of the judge.

I digress; I guess my question is: We don't actually have to go to court for a judge to order the ex to do the paternity test?

 

[waitinMd]

My case was messed up for dna/paternity.... It would not be good advice to repeat my experience... someone else can add more info to your question, but I would read this.... it discusses all situations.

 

[hopekendrick]

babys name

If he has the help from his family then he should try for joint custody of the baby, but only after he is the father, and it seems odd to me that if hes paying for deposits and things like this for a dna that can be done at your local health dept, and results come back there in a few days or weeks, why isn't she doing it and helping out. I have a strong feeling that she's not going along with any of this because she is hiding something from him. probably because he's not the father, of the baby and she knows it. I would hate for him to have to deal with her for the rest of his life and that babys life. She will cause him problems at every turn. Of course he could always ask for full custody of the baby once he finds out shes his and gives the baby his name. It's rare that its done, but now adays it's more common. Whatever happens in this case, I wish the best for him and he needs to get a single parent agreement in writing stating everything that he will do for the baby, and this includes vistations and holidays. I promise that when he gets dna and if he is the father of the baby and gives the baby his name and the judge sees how willing he is and how shes trying to stop him from seeing her, she will come away with a whole new attitude, because that judge will give her one. She will go to jail if she stops him from seeing her<baby> in a court appointed document. What judge wouldnt give her a good adjustment.

 

[waitinMd]

If he has the help from his family then he should try for joint custody of the baby, but only after he is the father, and it seems odd to me that if hes paying for deposits and things like this for a dna that can be done at your local health dept, and results come back there in a few days or weeks, why isn't she doing it and helping out. I have a strong feeling that she's not going along with any of this because she is hiding something from him. probably because he's not the father, of the baby and she knows it. I would hate for him to have to deal with her for the rest of his life and that babys life. She will cause him problems at every turn. Of course he could always ask for full custody of the baby once he finds out shes his and gives the baby his name. It's rare that its done, but now adays it's more common. Whatever happens in this case, I wish the best for him and he needs to get a single parent agreement in writing stating everything that he will do for the baby, and this includes vistations and holidays. I promise that when he gets dna and if he is the father of the baby and gives the baby his name and the judge sees how willing he is and how shes trying to stop him from seeing her, she will come away with a whole new attitude, because that judge will give her one. She will go to jail if she stops him from seeing her<baby> in a court appointed document. What judge wouldnt give her a good adjustment.

you need to cut it out...

OP, she will be ordered. But if she filed against you, then you will be ordered.
I ended up paying for private DNA because for my district the wait was about 3 or 4 months.... I did not want to wait... just my personal preference.

My ex was mailed a court order to appear at the lab for DNA testing.

You should hear something shortly on your case. If not, you can go over the court house anytime and ask to see your folder, and/or you can ask to see her case folder also.

right now it is just a waiting period for you.

 

[LocalRocket]

Hope,

Why are you acting like you know OP and his ex-girlfriend? Stop insulting his intelligence. Not everyone is like whoever the 18 year olds are that you are comparing him and his ex to.