Look, you can't file contempt against THEM. A 3rd party cannot be in violation of the order.
What EXACTLY does the order state regarding visitation?
And here's my advice to you. You come off here as if you're grasping at straws and have no idea what it is you're trying to accomplish... and that's lining your attorney's pockets, but it's not helping YOU and it's not in your kid's best interests.
You need to sit down and breathe. And then figure out exactly what you want to accomplish not only RIGHT NOW, but long term. What is best for the child RIGHT NOW and long term? What is best for YOU? What is best for MOM?
What is your attorney pushing? Why?
Do you want residential custody? Or just to be able to enforce your visitation?
Do you want to spend the next 16 years in court, fighting with Mom over every little thing, no matter WHO has custody?
Seriously. You're not doing your case or your child any good when you're focused on how to "Win" this thing, or coming up with a better plan B. You're just not.
CJane, you are correct. I am wandering, and I am grateful to you guys for trying to bring me back on track. It is true that, after I have been accused of all the most unspeakable crimes, from pedophilia to actually trying to kill my child (my child, my son, my boy, please, give me a break on that: there's a reason why a chose the nickname "pater unum" - he's my only son, and probably will stay that way), after finally CP tried with all she could to damage my career, my attention HAS been diverted to self-defense. And that is sad.
Is my son my priority? What do you think? What are you suggesting? That I should have stopped trying? I am not the one who dragged this on. As far as I was concerned, this should have been settled immediately with visitation schedules etc. But CP is simply not mentally stable, but she's rational enough to think that she can do this and get away with it. At this point, I AM conflicted between these two concerns: 1) I am accused of crimes that are punishable with severe jail term (but fortunately, so far, PD concluded the charges were unfounded -.. and that might NOT have happened without my efforts to show the contrary evidence) 2) I am sick worried that my child will be in the hands of an unstable woman.
Some cynical friend told me: "think just about #1 and get the hell out of this mess - just pay your CS and forget about enforcing anything; she will just make things worse". It seems to me that, if I don't try enforcement now, THAT will be the result.
Plan A or Plan B (temp custody or just enforcement of visitations) are suggestions I am calling for just based on what most experts will think is realistic and wise for me and my son.
What is "good for my son in the long term" you're saying? I am convinced that from a "moral standpoint" and a "safety standpoint", it is to be with me. But I have to face the realities of the "legal standpoint", and, as all of you are suggesting here, all enforcement + courts give priority to reuniting the child with CP, especially when the child has had minimal contact with NCP, and especially when NCP does not have "overwhelming" evidence of CP's wrongdoing with the child. Now, the fact that CP and now her ex husband pressed charges of pedophilia, no matter how dismissed those charges are by PD or CPS, will also make a judge think twice before sending the child to the "unknown". Can a judge see through them? I don't know.
So, it seems to me that I need to really press hard to show how outlandish and slanderous those charges are, what a good environment the child would have here, and how, in the long term, life with dad will be also safer and more practical (I have a secure job, seriously, I am lucky in that sense, [ basically, I can lose it only if I commit a crime, of course, and that's where CP has tried to damage me] - CP loses jobs every six months or so)
It's a stable job, but not highly rewarded, and this case has indeed dried up my finances. So, I'm at the point where I'm broke, and that is another consideration: I have no choice but fight on, but must also find a way to make this affordable. My child is not going to benefit from a broke dad. (as far as I know, mom must be broke too - ex husband instead is wealthy, which makes me fear that HE might end up adopting the child, given CP's erratic conduct and drinking problem).
My atty. has, yes, dragged this on, though cutting me some slack on legal fees. But I do see a vested interest in his "two steps" approach (try temp custody first, and you will have a better chance to get custody in the final hearing): I said I'm skeptical, but I'm not at the point of firing him. he knows the case, has been on it for five years.
