Visitation in PA

[hharvie]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

My husband and I are getting separated. He wants to have our daughter every other weekend and once a week. I have no problem with this. But we are arguing about the living arrangement? By law is he required to have a room for her? If not what kind of sleeping arrangement is appropriate for a 5 year old girl?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

My husband and I are getting separated. He wants to have our daughter every other weekend and once a week. I have no problem with this. But we are arguing about the living arrangement? By law is he required to have a room for her? If not what kind of sleeping arrangement is appropriate for a 5 year old girl?

There is no law saying he must have a separate room. What is he proposing?

 

[hharvie]

There is no law saying he must have a separate room. What is he proposing?

that he sleep on the couch while she sleeps in his bed. personally i think that is inappropriate and that she should have a small space she can call her own even if its a corner she can decorate and a foldaway bed of her own.

 

[Proserpina]

that he sleep on the couch while she sleeps in his bed. personally i think that is inappropriate and that she should have a small space she can call her own even if its a corner she can decorate and a foldaway bed of her own.

Dad's suggestion is allowable. You could always provide a little foldaway bed for her while she's there? I'm sure Dad wouldn't object.

 

[CJane]

that he sleep on the couch while she sleeps in his bed. personally i think that is inappropriate and that she should have a small space she can call her own even if its a corner she can decorate and a foldaway bed of her own.

Legally, he's in good shape.

You could propose that you purchase one of these:

DISNEY PRINCESS INFLATABLE BED / SLEEPING BAG & PUMP - eBay (item 360200852257 end time Nov-21-09 20:16:18 PST)

and he could inflate that in the LR when she's there, have a toy box and little dresser for her, etc.

 

[hharvie]

is sleeping in the same room inappropriate since she is a girl? or doesn't it matter since she is such a young age?

 

[CJane]

is sleeping in the same room inappropriate since she is a girl? or doesn't it matter since she is such a young age?

Doesn't matter. But I thought he was offering to sleep on the couch while she was in his bed. Is the couch in the bed room?

 

[Proserpina]

is sleeping in the same room inappropriate since she is a girl? or doesn't it matter since she is such a young age?

Not inappropriate at all.

 

[hharvie]

yes he did, but if we got her a portable bed like the blowup or even a foldaway cot he wouldn't need to sleep on the couch unless he had to. that's why i asked the second part.

 

[CJane]

yes he did, but if we got her a portable bed like the blowup or even a foldaway cot he wouldn't need to sleep on the couch unless he had to. that's why i asked the second part.

Oh, I see. Well, the portable bed could be set up in the LR, but honestly... no one in the legal realm is going to have an issue w/a girl sleeping in the same room as her father until puberty, and only then if it's a long term solution and only because a child that age really does need privacy.

But for an e/o weekend situation? Not gonna matter.

 

[hharvie]

My daughter's father and i get along very well I think we can agree on the arrangements outside of court... everyone I've talked to is saying I should still get it all in writing. How do I do this if we don't want to involve a court... we are in PA

 

[Ohiogal]

My daughter's father and i get along very well I think we can agree on the arrangements outside of court... everyone I've talked to is saying I should still get it all in writing. How do I do this if we don't want to involve a court... we are in PA

Unless a court is involved NOTHING is enforceable.

 

[janM]

My daughter's father and i get along very well I think we can agree on the arrangements outside of court... everyone I've talked to is saying I should still get it all in writing. How do I do this if we don't want to involve a court... we are in PA

Get it in writing AND file it in court. Otherwise if either one of you go against the agreement, you can't enforce it. You'll need to file for divorce at some point, right? Or at least a legal separation if you can in your state.

 

[gr8rn]

that he sleep on the couch while she sleeps in his bed. personally i think that is inappropriate and that she should have a small space she can call her own even if its a corner she can decorate and a foldaway bed of her own.

Be glad that Dad doesn't want your daughter to sleep with HIM in the bed with his partially clad girlfriend.

That is what I have to deal with my 7 year old son so I can honestly say if the father did what your ex is proposing I would be very happy.

 

[Proserpina]

Get it in writing AND file it in court. Otherwise if either one of you go against the agreement, you can't enforce it. You'll need to file for divorce at some point, right? Or at least a legal separation if you can in your state.

And it protects BOTH of you, OP.

Seriously - get this done through the court (even if you come to your own agreement and then just file to have it made part of the record).