• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Extremely Unique Situation

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

stepconcern

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

I have a stepson who is 14 years old. In May of 2009 he raped his half-brother while on visitation at his mother's house. He was found guilty and is currently living at a residential treatment facility. My husband (his father) and his exwife shared custody with my husband being the residential parent. Because of the circumstance he has been placed under temporary custody of the state. This means that children's service acts as his guardian right now. His mother just recently expressed that she intends to have him live with her when he is done with treatment; and unfortunately our children's service case worker seems to love her. We don't want him to live with her. Her only motivation for being residential custodian is that she wants the child support. I want to lay out both households and get some advice as to what the outcome may look like.

She has been married twice and has a child from each marriage (the 14 year old, and the 7 year old he raped). She has lived with many men over the past five years, but has been living with her current boyfriend for the past three years. They also share a daughter who is 18 months old. The guy she is currently with is in jail on mortgage fraud charges; although he will probably be out by the time we go to court. She had a documented drug problem which she admits to and is going to AA meetings for. She has no job and hasn't held one longer than 4 months in the past 6 years. She is on food stamps, government healthcare, and cash assistance. With the exception of the past 3 months (when she knew custody was a possibility) she hasn't paid child support in 4 years. She has never paid half of anything including his medical bills which have been extensive. His behavior is horrible at her house and she regularly called my husband to come and deal with their son. There are very few rules and responsibilities at her house and he is given just about everything he wants from cell phones to laptops to free reign over the neighborhood and community.

My husband and I have been married for 7 years. We have four other children ranging in age from 3 to 7 years old. My husband has always been employed and is a teacher. I have my bachelor's degree and am a stay at home mom. We are a Christian family with very high expectations of our children both morally and with regard to their responsibilities. My stepson is not very well behaved but better with us than his mother. The big issue is that he and I tend to butt heads. He doesn't like rules and expectations, which in turn means he doesn't like me. His mother will certainly play up the fact the he and I don't always get along.

Behind our backs his mother has been discussing his coming to live with her. She is a master manipulator and given the way her house is run it doesn't surprise me that he would want to live there. SO....my question is does she have a chance???? Like I said our case worker loves her. She can manipulate people like no one else I have ever met. Would a judge be so easily tricked? Or am I crazy to think he shouldn't live there? She does love him, but her motivation is money, not what is best for her son. HELP ME!!!!! Do we have a case????
 


ecmst12

Senior Member
You have no dog in this fight. It is between mom and dad and the courts. You should be as uninvolved as possible.
 

CJane

Senior Member
Well, considering this crime was committed while DAD had primary custody, it doesn't sound to me like things could be much worse. ALL of those positives you outlined? They didn't keep the kid from raping his brother. So why on Earth should they be a slam dunk reason for you to get kiddo back?
 

wileybunch

Senior Member
He raped his 7yo half-brother while on visitation at Mom's house and no one sees an issue with him going BACK to that home to live? :eek: Won't the 7yo still be there or has he been removed?
 

basylica

Member
He raped his 7yo half-brother while on visitation at Mom's house and no one sees an issue with him going BACK to that home to live? :eek: Won't the 7yo still be there or has he been removed?
Thats what I was thinking when I read it....that they wouldn't place a rape-er back with his victim.
also, I wonder what the psych eval would say on this : normally a 14yr old boy wouldn't rape his *brother* without previous sexual trauma. Seems like from the family history outlined that mom's house is the more likely situation this may have occured.
I'd imagine you need to have some major psych evals made for anyone to get this kid back.....and figure out what was going on there. maybe nothing, but seems like kids raping kids are almost always acting out rape they exp too.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Once again I think we've seen this story before - but from the other parent.

I wish I could figure out who and when.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
He raped his 7yo half-brother while on visitation at Mom's house and no one sees an issue with him going BACK to that home to live? :eek: Won't the 7yo still be there or has he been removed?
I actually see a problem with the child living in EITHER household, because both households have young children.

However, that is for social services to decide.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Thats what I was thinking when I read it....that they wouldn't place a rape-er back with his victim.
also, I wonder what the psych eval would say on this : normally a 14yr old boy wouldn't rape his *brother* without previous sexual trauma. Seems like from the family history outlined that mom's house is the more likely situation this may have occured. I'd imagine you need to have some major psych evals made for anyone to get this kid back.....and figure out what was going on there. maybe nothing, but seems like kids raping kids are almost always acting out rape they exp too.
That's a major stretch.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

I have a stepson who is 14 years old. In May of 2009 he raped his half-brother while on visitation at his mother's house. He was found guilty and is currently living at a residential treatment facility. My husband (his father) and his exwife shared custody with my husband being the residential parent. Because of the circumstance he has been placed under temporary custody of the state.
That is what happens. He is a CRIMINAL.

This means that children's service acts as his guardian right now.
If he was PROSECUTED Children Services would NOT be his guardian -- however in this case there is most likely an open case. That happened before the prosecution. So what is on the case plan? Was the youngest adjudicated as abused?
His mother just recently expressed that she intends to have him live with her when he is done with treatment; and unfortunately our children's service case worker seems to love her.
And what does the 7 year old's attorney/GAL state about this?
We don't want him to live with her.
You don't count.
Her only motivation for being residential custodian is that she wants the child support. I want to lay out both households and get some advice as to what the outcome may look like.
Okay. But I am snipping what is not relevant.

She has been married twice and has a child from each marriage (the 14 year old, and the 7 year old he raped).<snip>They also share a daughter who is 18 months old.
So what does the 14 year old's counselor and sexual offender evaluation reveal?

The guy she is currently with is in jail on mortgage fraud charges; although he will probably be out by the time we go to court.
YOU should not be going to court. You are not a party and if you showed up at my court I would be having you cast into the waiting room or hall.

She had a documented drug problem which she admits to and is going to AA meetings for. She has no job and hasn't held one longer than 4 months in the past 6 years. She is on food stamps, government healthcare, and cash assistance.
And?
With the exception of the past 3 months (when she knew custody was a possibility) she hasn't paid child support in 4 years.
And said child support (except for the arrears) should NOT be going to dad. Also dad should be paying child support at this juncture as well.


She has never paid half of anything including his medical bills which have been extensive.
And? What has dad done about that?



My husband and I have been married for 7 years. We have four other children ranging in age from 3 to 7 years old. My husband has always been employed and is a teacher. I have my bachelor's degree and am a stay at home mom. We are a Christian family with very high expectations of our children both morally and with regard to their responsibilities. My stepson is not very well behaved but better with us than his mother. The big issue is that he and I tend to butt heads. He doesn't like rules and expectations, which in turn means he doesn't like me. His mother will certainly play up the fact the he and I don't always get along.
And? Again I ask what does the rapist's sexual offender evaluation reveal as well as what does the counselor state? Being Christian means nothing. Being a SAHM means NOTHING. Your husband being a teacher means nothing. Even with all that goodness this child was STILL FAILED because he RAPED HIS BROTHER. He is a sex offender who will have to register. So who lives near a school?

SO....my question is does she have a chance????
Yes she has more of a chance than you do.

Like I said our case worker loves her.
Really? You are listed on the case plan and as a party to this case? Again with the abuse adjudication what does the seven year old's attorney/GAL say about the matter?
She can manipulate people like no one else I have ever met. Would a judge be so easily tricked? Or am I crazy to think he shouldn't live there? She does love him, but her motivation is money, not what is best for her son. HELP ME!!!!! Do we have a case????
You are out of line completely. How close is the nearest daycare, park and/or school to either of your homes? How dare you state her motiviation is money. We can state that is your motivation as well. Answer my questions. YOU do not have a case however as you are a LEGAL stranger to this mess.
 
Last edited:

Just Blue

Senior Member
Frankly this child rapist should not live with either parent. What are these parents thinking????????????
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I want answers to my questions. If Children Services is involved there was an adjudication. The 7 year old should then have an Attorney GAL. If not the law has been violated or for some reason the child was not adjudicated as abused even though his older half brother RAPED HIM. I want answers. Oh and this case is NOT that unique. There are several of these cases currently ongoing in this state.
 

PQN

Member
I don't get it

Why isn't OP worried about protecting the 4 young children in her home?

I would strongly recommend physical and psychological exams for all of them by child sex abuse experts. The chance that the 14 year old started with rape and didn't molest children first is very slim.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top