Ok now what?

[obxsurf]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

I have ROFR and dad told me today that basically he would not be there all of Saturday. Do I let lil ocrakoke go??

I've asked to speak with them both but have not received a response. I feel like they should make me comfortable with who lil ocrakoke is staying with.

Am I being an a$$ again?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

I have ROFR and dad told me today that basically he would not be there all of Saturday. Do I let lil ocrakoke go??

I've asked to speak with them both but have not received a response. I feel like they should make me comfortable with who lil ocrakoke is staying with.

Am I being an a$$ again?

In my opinion no, you are not being an A$$ at all. If you have ROFR and dad won't be there all day, then dad is in contempt if he doesn't allow you to spend that time with the child....unless perhaps they will use that opportunity to give visitation to a grandparent or something similar.

 

[obxsurf]

Torn

I don't want to cause trouble. Ive asked if gma can pick her up instead and he advised she was busy. Visits are for him and family. I am not happy to let her spend 8+ hours w gf.

Advice on how not to make this contentious? Thanks!

 

[CJane]

I don't want to cause trouble. Ive asked if gma can pick her up instead and he advised she was busy. Visits are for him and family. I am not happy to let her spend 8+ hours w gf.

Advice on how not to make this contentious? Thanks!

"Gee, I'm sorry you won't be able to spend Saturday with Lil O'! Please do let me know when you'll be able to make up the time. K, thanks. Bye."

 

[mom482]

just because he's not going to be there does not mean g/f is watching the child. maybe a grandma or aunt is going to take the child. if he does not respond, and you find out from the child that g/f was there alone w/ the child, then file contempt and get a specific order barring her from watching the child. I've had to do that more than once w/ my ex. You don't want to be the bad guy denying visitation. Trust me the child will live even if g/f watches the child, even though its fair for you to be upset, but be in the 'right' and file contempt if he violates the order rather than dictating when you can't prove g/f would have been watching the child. he will just deny that if you refuse visitation.

 

[obxsurf]

Thanks Cjane

I told him gma or great gparents can watch but not gf. He said no and I was a total f****** b*****. I said ok but rofr is just that and I refuse. All this after last pick up debacle.

I am getting so tired of this.

 

[obxsurf]

Reply: mom

He told me specifically gf would be watching and gma was busy. No aunts uncles etc on his side. I would gladly let lil 'o stay with gf if we all could have talked about expectations, parameters and outcome. Instead I was called names. Crap and I did have a romantic weekend planned.

 

[CJane]

I told him gma or great gparents can watch but not gf. He said no and I was a total f****** b*****. I said ok but rofr is just that and I refuse. All this after last pick up debacle.

I am getting so tired of this.

Right of first refusal actually means that you have the right to refuse to HAVE the child when he cannot. It does NOT mean that you can refuse to turn the child over to him.

What EXACTLY does the ROFR say?

 

[obxsurf]

Rofr

States that if either father or mother will not be with child for more than 3 hours of their scheduled time, the other has the right to take child to spend time with other parent...in so many words.

I don't have a problem letting her go its who she goes to.

 

[obxsurf]

Sheesh...cut me some slack

You all know this has been going on a while. Why would I let lil miss go spend time with pretend mom when she can be with me. ..real mom?

 

[Proserpina]

States that if either father or mother will not be with child for more than 3 hours of their scheduled time, the other has the right to take child to spend time with other parent...in so many words.

I don't have a problem letting her go its who she goes to.

No, see, that's why you need to type out EXACTLY what the order says. Not "in so many words". That's why Cjane asked for the EXACT wording...

 

[obxsurf]

Both parties have right of first refusal to care for minor child if the absence of either party should be necessary during normal parenting time. In the event that either parent intends to leave minor child to a period of four hours or more, that parent shall first offer the other parent an opportunity for additional time with child prior to making other arrangements.

That's it in a nutshell.

 

[obxsurf]

Clarification

Oh and to clarify, I was not trying not to turn her over Friday only that I would take her back Saturday until he was done working. At that point, I intended to return her to him.

My point was why spend eight hours with gf when she could be with me? I'm available.

 

[Ohiogal]

Oh and to clarify, I was not trying not to turn her over Friday only that I would take her back Saturday until he was done working. At that point, I intended to return her to him.

My point was why spend eight hours with gf when she could be with me? I'm available.

Fine. On Saturday you go pick up little one and then return little one to dad. But the child goes on Friday. Oh and also have you made sure to offer dad little one EVERY TIME you are gone for more than four hours?

 

[obxsurf]

Og

Currently unemployed and don't really go out, but when I was working, yes,he was offered first choice.

Tell me this do overnights with her friends by her life fall into this as well? If yes, then no I haven't.