Help! I think my friend is putting her husband's custody in jeopardy!

[TheGeekess]

I am pretty sure those kids are running home to mom telling them how crazy stepmom is if she is really doing that stuff.

More hyper-religious is you ask me. Lots of folks in this world think the same way as rocket's ex-friend.

 

[LocalRocket]

Jaw-dropping & Priceless

I'm done trying to help, but thought I'd share the hideous reply that ensued. Stepmom missed my point entirely, and thanked me for giving her info that might help "them" seal the deal against this "bio-mom." She went on to say that truthfully, she's scared that they WILL get custody. She "felt horrible" about it, but said that since the children's mother had already exerted so much influence in their lives, that they were "already ruined". They weren't the kind of kids, and wouldn't EVER grow into the kind of adults that were the type of people they would ever want or allow into their home. She said that they try to be good to themselves now and preserve the harmony in their marriage; having to deal with his ex and the kids created conflict and drama that wasn't worth the strain it put on their marriage. They just feel that they shouldn't have to "compensate her" for taking full custody of the children she ruined to the point that they weren't welcome with her and dad. OHHH NO... she'd rather "suffer" with these kids than have their mother get a dime.

She went on to say that she and dad are testing a new "strategy"... They dropped the kids off at mom's almost 3 weeks ago, and haven't called or exercised visitation ever since. She reasoned(!?!) that if she and hubby "sacrificed" time with the kiddos, they could ask her to "sacrifice" some of the support payments in exchange for this extra time. Uhh**************...

And the UNBELIEVABLE finale:

"p.s. I know what you're thinking, but don't worry. The kids understood and we were very clear that this was about their mom and not them."

I now wish that I'd never said ANYTHING. I'm feeling rather criminal about not reporting her to the Wicked Stepmother Authorities. If there were such a thing, I'd do so in a heartbeat. And many people consider this woman to be sane and successful... they're comforting her and agreeing that "bio-mom" is nuts. It's really awful stuff.

 

[Just Blue]

I'm done trying to help, but thought I'd share the hideous reply that ensued. Stepmom missed my point entirely, and thanked me for giving her info that might help "them" seal the deal against this "bio-mom." She went on to say that truthfully, she's scared that they WILL get custody. She "felt horrible" about it, but said that since the children's mother had already exerted so much influence in their lives, that they were "already ruined". They weren't the kind of kids, and wouldn't EVER grow into the kind of adults that were the type of people they would ever want or allow into their home. She said that they try to be good to themselves now and preserve the harmony in their marriage; having to deal with his ex and the kids created conflict and drama that wasn't worth the strain it put on their marriage. They just feel that they shouldn't have to "compensate her" for taking full custody of the children she ruined to the point that they weren't welcome with her and dad. OHHH NO... she'd rather "suffer" with these kids than have their mother get a dime.

She went on to say that she and dad are testing a new "strategy"... They dropped the kids off at mom's almost 3 weeks ago, and haven't called or exercised visitation ever since. She reasoned(!?!) that if she and hubby "sacrificed" time with the kiddos, they could ask her to "sacrifice" some of the support payments in exchange for this extra time. Uhh**************...

And the UNBELIEVABLE finale:





"p.s. I know what you're thinking, but don't worry. The kids understood and we were very clear that this was about their mom and not them."

I now wish that I'd never said ANYTHING. I'm feeling rather criminal about not reporting her to the Wicked Stepmother Authorities. If there were such a thing, I'd do so in a heartbeat. And many people consider this woman to be sane and successful... they're comforting her and agreeing that "bio-mom" is nuts. It's really awful stuff.

Honestly? If you know this mother I would make her aware of the "issues" before step-mom and Dad have a chance to totally mess up their lives.

 

[LdiJ]

Honestly? If you know this mother I would make her aware of the "issues" before step-mom and Dad have a chance to totally mess up their lives.

No kidding. This stepmother is absolutely the wicked witch from HeXX and this mother needs to know EXACTLY what is going on. In fact, mom needs a copy of that extremely hideous email.

Her children need to be protected from this woman.

 

[LocalRocket]

Update

Several of you expressed the opinion that I put a bug in mom's ear about some of this stuff. At the time I didn't do so, only because I don't KNOW mom; and these folks live in another state entirely.

This week things have become worse, though. Stepmom has started cutting and pasting entire e-mails between mom and dad. She wasn't cc'd on the e-mails, but apparently her DH lets her read them. She is not deleting mom's name or e-mail address, so now it's out there.

The allegations and slander have been getting worse and worse. Yesterday, she posted that her DH had lied to mom about whether he'd be home for an overnight last weekend; stayed there for drop off and then left on a camping trip. SM had them over night. She admitted that because her SK's were "miserable lying beasts" and wouldn't "confess" to whether or not they were spying on her for mom, they had to go to there rooms without food for 24 hours. I was shocked, but e-mailed her saying "surely you must be exaggerating", but she replied that she absolutely had NOT been, and didn't see how it was any worse than the fasting her parents had HER do as a girl for religious reasons.

Am I meddling or overstepping to anonymously let mom know now? I'd like to do so. If not, I will call CPS. Just trying to find out whether hearing it via Facebook and e-mail is too much "hearsay" (I did save a screenshot) for CPS, or if this is simply a different, poor, but acceptable variation in parenting methods.

 

[frylover]

Several of you expressed the opinion that I put a bug in mom's ear about some of this stuff. At the time I didn't do so, only because I don't KNOW mom; and these folks live in another state entirely.

This week things have become worse, though. Stepmom has started cutting and pasting entire e-mails between mom and dad. She wasn't cc'd on the e-mails, but apparently her DH lets her read them. She is not deleting mom's name or e-mail address, so now it's out there.

The allegations and slander have been getting worse and worse. Yesterday, she posted that her DH had lied to mom about whether he'd be home for an overnight last weekend; stayed there for drop off and then left on a camping trip. SM had them over night. She admitted that because her SK's were "miserable lying beasts" and wouldn't "confess" to whether or not they were spying on her for mom, they had to go to there rooms without food for 24 hours. I was shocked, but e-mailed her saying "surely you must be exaggerating", but she replied that she absolutely had NOT been, and didn't see how it was any worse than the fasting her parents had HER do as a girl for religious reasons.

Am I meddling or overstepping to anonymously let mom know now? I'd like to do so. If not, I will call CPS. Just trying to find out whether hearing it via Facebook and e-mail is too much "hearsay" (I did save a screenshot) for CPS, or if this is simply a different, poor, but acceptable variation in parenting methods.

I'm going to leave it to the "smart seniors" to tell you what you can/should do.

But I have to say that I am almost physically ill at reading what this woman is doing!

Just a thought here....and I know this is going to sound kind of twisted (but I tend to be a bit paranoid), but do you think it's possible stepmom truly despises these kids so much that she's hoping that this WILL get back to mom,and that somehow mom can get dad's visitation cut off so she doesn't have to deal with the kids?

(I know, I know....but just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you!)

 

[LocalRocket]

I don't know, frylover. Most of me doesn't think so, because she'll say almost all of this to mom's face. Frankly, from the looks of the e-mails, mom has been trying to let someone know that this is going on with stepmom, and the allegations are so ridiculous that she might be having a hard time finding someone to believe that a stepmom outside a Cinderella fairytale would actually be this way.

As for my ex-friend, she waffles. Definitely, she doesn't want her husband to have any custody. She just thinks he also shouldn't have to pay any child support because mom has made them into terribly naughty beasts that can't be housebroken. Mom should have to "pay" for this by going without CP. Stepmom has even totalled her own family finances to come up with an exact amount it cost them (supposedly) to care for the kids, and thinks giving THAT amount is the only possibly reasonable amount to give mom in CP (her "total" was almost $600 less than their state would require).

She wants dad to "sign over his rights" and let the kids' stepdad adopt them. She doesn't like that it doesn't get to be their choice though, and stepdad hasn't offered to adopt.

 

[tornado88]

I'm not a legal expert by any means so pleaseseniors tell me if I am wrong here, but if you now have this mothers e-mail address I would be VERY tempted to send her copies of all of this. She could then show them to your lawyer and see about using them to help her case.

 

[LocalRocket]

Whoa

Ok, once I figure out whether I'm going to report this to anyone, I'm de-friending this woman immediately. She just wrote as her status update "I'd really like to hear Cinderella's stepmother's story from HER point of view... Cinderella probably got what she had coming to her!!!"

 

[tornado88]

She's warped...totally warped.

 

[frylover]

This is one crazy BEYOTCH!

 

[sometwo]

Ok, once I figure out whether I'm going to report this to anyone, I'm de-friending this woman immediately. She jost wrote as her status update "I'd really like to hear Cinderella's stepmother's story from HER point of view... Cinderella probably got what she had coming to her!!!"

I wouldnt defriend her. I would keep getting copies of it and printing it out and sending it to whomever needs to see it. That's awful! Those poor kids!!!!

 

[mommyof4]

Serious question here....

Are you sure that this woman's FB page is actually HERS? Is there any chance it's a fraudulent page set up by someone else?(and I'm not focusing solely on Mom)

 

[LocalRocket]

Serious question here....

Are you sure that this woman's FB page is actually HERS? Is there any chance it's a fraudulent page set up by someone else?(and I'm not focusing solely on Mom)

I wish it were like you're suggesting, but I'm sure. We've e-mailed outside of Facebook regarding these things, and we've also talked on the phone about it.

 

[mommyof4]

I wish it were like you're suggesting, but I'm sure. We've e-mailed outside of Facebook regarding these things, and we've also talked on the phone about it.

That's one sick b-b-b-witch.

I agree. You really should forward this information to Mom. It won't be too hard. SB provided you with Mom's e-mail addy.

Don't de-friend her, yet. Mom deserves to have this information, especially since you suspect that Mom isn't having any luck getting someone to take her seriously.

I would also put in a call to CPS, as well. There is NO excuse for forcing a child to go hungry just because she's evil.