In desperate need of advice....

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Do you know where dad even is? Is there a current support order that just isn't paid? Or did you eliminate the support order?

 

[TabbyJane]

I don't know where he is precisely. But, he still works for the same company. (I saw him and his boss in their work truck one day.) His job takes him all over the south.

The order was never eliminated. DFCS just stopped collecting because he was threatening us. I didn't see much point in going back to court. When I told the original judge about the abuse, he either didn't believe me or didn't care.

I figured the end result was the same, so I never pursued it. Didn't really have the foresight back then to consider the circumstances that could suddenly make it relevant.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

The reason for the question is that, from a LEGAL perspective, dad has abandoned the child. He KNOWS this child exists. Paternity was established. He has failed to either support the child, nor has established a relationship with the child.

 

[TabbyJane]

I see your point. My parents have been in the same location for 15 years. I lived there with my son for five years, then moved into an apartment. As I mentioned earlier, we're still there 50-90% of the time. He's had ample opportunity and I've never given him any reason to think he couldn't see my fella. My apartment is only about 12 minutes from my parents' place.

Dad's sister popped in one day for a visit. Think she was just curious about how son was turning out. She was pregnant with her first, so maybe she was just curious to see how raising kids works. She stayed about 20 minutes or so. She's the only other member of his family who ever contacted us.

 

[TabbyJane]

How does one go about terminating parental rights? I considered it years ago, when the threats started up again. I was told the courts frowned upon and strenuously discouraged basically "*******izing" a child (clerk's term, not mine).

The reason for the question is that, from a LEGAL perspective, dad has abandoned the child. He KNOWS this child exists. Paternity was established. He has failed to either support the child, nor has established a relationship with the child.

 

[TheGeekess]

Hi, Tabby.... I've been searching the Alabama statutes, but I know Alabama does not have stand-by guardianship on the books (I asked my lawyer about it last summer). You will more than likely be unable to terminate Dad's rights, either, without a spouse to adopt Son.

At the very least, if Dad continues to not have any contact or support Son, you could possibly allow your parents to adopt him without having to involve Dad at all.

Section 26-10A-9
Implied consent or relinquishment.

(a) A consent or relinquishment required by Section 26-10A-7 may be implied by any of the following acts of a parent:

(1) Abandonment of the adoptee. Abandonment includes, but is not limited to, the failure of the father, with reasonable knowledge of the pregnancy, to offer financial and/or emotional support for a period of six months prior to the birth.

(2) Leaving the adoptee without provision for his or her identification for a period of 30 days.

(3) Knowingly leaving the adoptee with others without provision for support and without communication, or not otherwise maintaining a significant parental relationship with the adoptee for a period of six months.

(4) Receiving notification of the pendency of the adoption proceedings under Section 26-10A-17 and failing to answer or otherwise respond to the petition within 30 days.

(5) Failing to comply with Section 26-10C-1.

(b) Implied consent under subsection (a) may not be withdrawn by any person.
(Acts 1990, No. 90-554, p. 912, §9; Act 99-435, p. 857, §1; Act 2002-417, p. 1061, §1.)

Section 26-10A-9

Alabama Adoption Code
http://alisondb.legislature.state.al.us/acas/CodeOfAlabama/1975/127565.htm

Law schools usually offer clinics for free help, to train the law students.
Here's a link to UA's School of Law Clinics:
The University of Alabama School of Law

Samford University also has Cumberland School of Law:
Cumberland School of Law

Then, there's the Birmingham School of Law:
BSOL - Welcome

Here's a number for the Miles Law School; No information on their website if they offer clinics or such, but the worst they can do is tell you no.
205-923-7739

 

[Proserpina]

(OT - Thank you so much, Geekess!)

 

[TabbyJane]

Wow. That's one fantastic, fact-filled reply, OhioGAL. Can't thank you enough. I'll start calling tomorrow. If this works, it would take such a load off my mind.

Hi, Tabby.... I've been searching the Alabama statutes, but I know Alabama does not have stand-by guardianship on the books (I asked my lawyer about it last summer). You will more than likely be unable to terminate Dad's rights, either, without a spouse to adopt Son.

At the very least, if Dad continues to not have any contact or support Son, you could possibly allow your parents to adopt him without having to involve Dad at all.


Section 26-10A-9

Alabama Adoption Code
http://alisondb.legislature.state.al.us/acas/CodeOfAlabama/1975/127565.htm

Law schools usually offer clinics for free help, to train the law students.
Here's a link to UA's School of Law Clinics:
The University of Alabama School of Law

Samford University also has Cumberland School of Law:
Cumberland School of Law

Then, there's the Birmingham School of Law:
BSOL - Welcome

Here's a number for the Miles Law School; No information on their website if they offer clinics or such, but the worst they can do is tell you no.
205-923-7739

 

[TheGeekess]

Wow. That's one fantastic, fact-filled reply, OhioGAL. Can't thank you enough. I'll start calling tomorrow. If this works, it would take such a load off my mind.

Not OG, but you're welcome.

 

[TabbyJane]

Apologies, Geekess...I was reading another thread, looking for relevant advice. Apparently, OhioGAL penned the last comment I read. Ooopsie. I hereby divert my praise to its intended recipient. (bowing)

Not OG, but you're welcome.

 

[gr8rn]

TJ I am so sorry about your terminal diagnosis. You are living my worst nightmare. I just wanted to commend you for your bravery. No legal advise, just wanted you to know I hope you are able to see to it that your family continues to care for your son when you are gone and just hoping that you will be able to stay around a very long time, God willing.

 

[TabbyJane]

You're super kind. Thank you. My guy gives me tons of reasons to keep on trucking. He's one of those kids who makes everything seem wonderful, even when it isn't. How many 13-year-old boys still want to hug their moms in public?

TJ I am so sorry about your terminal diagnosis. You are living my worst nightmare. I just wanted to commend you for your bravery. No legal advise, just wanted you to know I hope you are able to see to it that your family continues to care for your son when you are gone and just hoping that you will be able to stay around a very long time, God willing.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thanks for the support. No, there's no husband, or boyfriend for that matter. Most of my time was spent taking care of my guy and (until about six months ago) working. Barely had time to breath, let alone have a social life. My family (parents and brother) have helped so much. Because of my dad and brother, my son didn't lack a strong male role model.

I like the suggestion Prose gave you. If you are fine with this, you can voluntarily relinguish your rights to your parents. And they can sue your ex in order to adopt your son. If he doesn't respond then he could possibly have his rights terminated for abandonment. How long since he has paid support however?
That would make YOU your child's sister until**************....

But your ex would not be able to get custody of him.

 

[Ohiogal]

Apologies, Geekess...I was reading another thread, looking for relevant advice. Apparently, OhioGAL penned the last comment I read. Ooopsie. I hereby divert my praise to its intended recipient. (bowing)

Ummm... yeah I was confused. I may have had wine but not THAT much.

 

[Proserpina]

Ummm... yeah I was confused. I may have had wine but not THAT much.

Hon, I'm just raising a glass here.

That simple.