awarded child support, then "quit" job

[WeeMan]

Utah...

I'm writing on behalf of my girlfriend, and the situation she is currently in.

It's a long story, and I can elaborate if needed, but it comes down to this... my girlfriend lost temporary custody of her two children, ages 7 and 9 to her husband. They are not divorced, she wants him to sign the papers, but he refuses. The commissioner temporarily placed the kids with the father, based on the interviews of the two children by the guardian ad litem. The older child (son) wants to live with his father, and the younger child (daughter) wants to live with us. The guardian ad litem sent them to live with the father...siding with the son's wishes.

The father has been addicted to prescription pain medications for the past 6 years. His employment history over this time period is a joke. He has had about 4 jobs in 6 years, and the longest period he has worked (most recent job) has been about a year. He has been fired from every job due to his pain medication (and xanax) abuse.

The pain medication addiction, the self-pity act, and the lazy attitude he formed over this time period is what led to her decision to separate from him.

He currently lives at home with his parents, and they do most of the parenting of the children while he lays around popping pills.

It is painfully obvious that he fought for custody of the children just to collect child support. Not even One Month after getting awarded custody, and child support, he got "fired" from his job. Its not provable, but we are assuming he slacked-off at work (even more than he usually does) knowing that his child support money (and the fact that he lives rent free with his parents) would be enough to comfortably live on.

She is not yet paying him child support...she is finishing up a one year lease on a home, has tons of bills, cell phone contract, car payment...etc etc and cannot currently afford it.

He is probably going to contact the Office of Recovery Services and attempt to get her paychecks automatically deducted. We know it is a long process, but its just a matter of time.

Its highly probable that he is going to provide false information concerning his employment, salary, bills...etc on the ORS forms.

Until we are able to afford an attorney to fight for custody (under a Judges orders), what can we do to buy some time (and save some money)? Does the fact that he just got fired from his job make any difference? We know it eventually will (especially to the judge), but does it make a difference now? Does it automatically change the child support order? Can it affect whether or not ORS can come in and deduct money from her paychecks?

 

[ray25]

Getting the popcorn...

 

[Silverplum]

Your girlfriend needs to come here, register her own account, and get advice about her situation, if she so chooses.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/newbies-please-read-before-posting-387214.html

Utah...

I'm writing on behalf of my girlfriend, and the situation she is currently in.

It's a long story, and I can elaborate if needed, but it comes down to this... my girlfriend lost temporary custody of her two children, ages 7 and 9 to her husband. They are not divorced, she wants him to sign the papers, but he refuses. The commissioner temporarily placed the kids with the father, based on the interviews of the two children by the guardian ad litem. The older child (son) wants to live with his father, and the younger child (daughter) wants to live with us. The guardian ad litem sent them to live with the father...siding with the son's wishes.

The father has been addicted to prescription pain medications for the past 6 years. His employment history over this time period is a joke. He has had about 4 jobs in 6 years, and the longest period he has worked (most recent job) has been about a year. He has been fired from every job due to his pain medication (and xanax) abuse.

The pain medication addiction, the self-pity act, and the lazy attitude he formed over this time period is what led to her decision to separate from him.

He currently lives at home with his parents, and they do most of the parenting of the children while he lays around popping pills.

It is painfully obvious that he fought for custody of the children just to collect child support. Not even One Month after getting awarded custody, and child support, he got "fired" from his job. Its not provable, but we are assuming he slacked-off at work (even more than he usually does) knowing that his child support money (and the fact that he lives rent free with his parents) would be enough to comfortably live on.

She is not yet paying him child support...she is finishing up a one year lease on a home, has tons of bills, cell phone contract, car payment...etc etc and cannot currently afford it.

He is probably going to contact the Office of Recovery Services and attempt to get her paychecks automatically deducted. We know it is a long process, but its just a matter of time.

Its highly probable that he is going to provide false information concerning his employment, salary, bills...etc on the ORS forms.

Until we are able to afford an attorney to fight for custody (under a Judges orders), what can we do to buy some time (and save some money)? Does the fact that he just got fired from his job make any difference? We know it eventually will (especially to the judge), but does it make a difference now? Does it automatically change the child support order? Can it affect whether or not ORS can come in and deduct money from her paychecks?

 

[Silverplum]

Getting the popcorn...

Hey, I didn't name the OP.

 

[WeeMan]

She literally has no time to do research online, and this is one way I like to help out.

We have had a couple attorneys working on the case, but the only thing they seem to be good at is sending us bills. Nothing has been accomplished, and nothing will...until we win the lottery it seems.

 

[Zigner]

She literally has no time to do research online, and this is one way I like to help out.

We have had a couple attorneys working on the case, but the only thing they seem to be good at is sending us bills. Nothing has been accomplished, and nothing will...until we win the lottery it seems.

That's because you really don't have a case. Too bad your wife has other priorities than the well-being of her children.

 

[Proserpina]

I'll play...

Utah...

I'm writing on behalf of my girlfriend, and the situation she is currently in.

It's a long story, and I can elaborate if needed, but it comes down to this... my girlfriend lost temporary custody of her two children, ages 7 and 9 to her husband. They are not divorced, she wants him to sign the papers, but he refuses.[

This is a crock - she does not need his permission or consent to get divorced.

The commissioner temporarily placed the kids with the father, based on the interviews of the two children by the guardian ad litem. The older child (son) wants to live with his father, and the younger child (daughter) wants to live with us. The guardian ad litem sent them to live with the father...siding with the son's wishes.

The GAL obviously thought it was in the children's best interests. Since when do children decide where they want to live, anyway?

The father has been addicted to prescription pain medications for the past 6 years. His employment history over this time period is a joke. He has had about 4 jobs in 6 years, and the longest period he has worked (most recent job) has been about a year. He has been fired from every job due to his pain medication (and xanax) abuse.

And did your girlfriend make the GAL aware of these things? (not that they necessarily matter - having read further...)

The pain medication addiction, the self-pity act, and the lazy attitude he formed over this time period is what led to her decision to separate from him.

He currently lives at home with his parents, and they do most of the parenting of the children while he lays around popping pills.

And you know this how?

It is painfully obvious that he fought for custody of the children just to collect child support. Not even One Month after getting awarded custody, and child support, he got "fired" from his job. Its not provable, but we are assuming he slacked-off at work (even more than he usually does) knowing that his child support money (and the fact that he lives rent free with his parents) would be enough to comfortably live on.

Obvious to whom? The GAL? The people who actually MATTER in this situation?

She is not yet paying him child support...she is finishing up a one year lease on a home, has tons of bills, cell phone contract, car payment...etc etc and cannot currently afford it.

It's ok to not support her children? Yet she's criticizing Dad? Kettle, meet pot.

He is probably going to contact the Office of Recovery Services and attempt to get her paychecks automatically deducted. We know it is a long process, but its just a matter of time.

Yes, it's just a matter of time. It shouldn't be, because she should be supporting her children NOW.

Its highly probable that he is going to provide false information concerning his employment, salary, bills...etc on the ORS forms.

Until we are able to afford an attorney to fight for custody (under a Judges orders), what can we do to buy some time (and save some money)? Does the fact that he just got fired from his job make any difference? We know it eventually will (especially to the judge), but does it make a difference now? Does it automatically change the child support order? Can it affect whether or not ORS can come in and deduct money from her paychecks?

You are having an adulterous affair with a married woman who has two children she is not supporting. Mom may have a shot at some point in the future, but she's NOT going to be using Dad's lack of employment against him when SHE isn't supporting her children.

Seriously - how do you think that will play out in court?

 

[Proserpina]

She literally has no time to do research online, and this is one way I like to help out.

We have had a couple attorneys working on the case, but the only thing they seem to be good at is sending us bills. Nothing has been accomplished, and nothing will...until we win the lottery it seems.

You didn't read the sticky, did you?

 

[Silverplum]

That's because you really don't have a case. Too bad your wife has other priorities than the well-being of her children.

Girlfriend. Not yet divorced from the father of the children.

 

[Zigner]

Girlfriend. Not yet divorced from the father of the children.

You are right, of course.

 

[WeeMan]

I'll play...



This is a crock - she does not need his permission or consent to get divorced.



The GAL obviously thought it was in the children's best interests. Since when do children decide where they want to live, anyway?



And did your girlfriend make the GAL aware of these things? (not that they necessarily matter - having read further...)



And you know this how?



Obvious to whom? The GAL? The people who actually MATTER in this situation?



It's ok to not support her children? Yet she's criticizing Dad? Kettle, meet pot.



Yes, it's just a matter of time. It shouldn't be, because she should be supporting her children NOW.



You are having an adulterous affair with a married woman who has two children she is not supporting. Mom may have a shot at some point in the future, but she's NOT going to be using Dad's lack of employment against him when SHE isn't supporting her children.

Seriously - how do you think that will play out in court?

Let me clear some things up....

I DO NOT fully trust this girl. And, I do not know the law.

They have been separated for over two years.....hardly "adultery" my friend.

She tells me he won't sign the divorce papers......is this a crock? Can she force him to without taking him to court? Can she simply submit paperwork and get it done on her own? If so...I will confront her on the matter.

Now, I said there was more to the story....and there is.

We both had a short-term (6 month) drug problem back in March....went through UA testing, and substance abuse treatment. We have proven ourselves and are clean. THIS is the main reason the GAL gave custody to the father.

The part that bothers me is that their ENTIRE case revolves around our past "substance abuse" issues....but, this system,the double standards, and the Blind-Eye it turns to FACT that the father is, and has been a "drug addict" for over six years means NOTHING to the GAL, or commissioner. Why is that? Because his medications are "legal"? Although he is a virtual zombie, who CANNOT keep a job,and DOES NOT raise his children on his own.

While he laid around on the couch for YEARS, popping pills, skipping out on physical therapy, and feeling sorry for himself SHE was the one who got up EVERY day, went to work, and supported her kids...and him. She has been the sole provider for the kids for years. Now, because of one slip up....she loses it all. And none of this matters....at least to the GAL and commissioner.

Now....our attorney is positive that the actual custody battle will come out in her favor. The husband is still a drug addict, lives with his parents, and now HAS NO JOB. Like I said, its a matter of saving up some money in the meantime to pay the attorney to get the ball rolling.

 

[Silverplum]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/newbies-please-read-before-posting-387214.html

Let me clear some things up....

I DO NOT fully trust this girl. And, I do not know the law.

They have been separated for over two years.....hardly "adultery" my friend.

She tells me he won't sign the divorce papers......is this a crock? Can she force him to without taking him to court? Can she simply submit paperwork and get it done on her own? If so...I will confront her on the matter.

Now, I said there was more to the story....and there is.

We both had a short-term (6 month) drug problem back in March....went through UA testing, and substance abuse treatment. We have proven ourselves and are clean. THIS is the main reason the GAL gave custody to the father.

The part that bothers me is that their ENTIRE case revolves around our past "substance abuse" issues....but, this system,the double standards, and the Blind-Eye it turns to FACT that the father is, and has been a "drug addict" for over six years means NOTHING to the GAL, or commissioner. Why is that? Because his medications are "legal"? Although he is a virtual zombie, who CANNOT keep a job,and DOES NOT raise his children on his own.

While he laid around on the couch for YEARS, popping pills, skipping out on physical therapy, and feeling sorry for himself SHE was the one who got up EVERY day, went to work, and supported her kids...and him. She has been the sole provider for the kids for years. Now, because of one slip up....she loses it all. And none of this matters....at least to the GAL and commissioner.

Now....our attorney is positive that the actual custody battle will come out in her favor. The husband is still a drug addict, lives with his parents, and now HAS NO JOB. Like I said, its a matter of saving up some money in the meantime to pay the attorney to get the ball rolling.

 

[Proserpina]

Let me clear some things up....

I DO NOT fully trust this girl. And, I do not know the law.

They have been separated for over two years.....hardly "adultery" my friend.

Yes, it's adultery.

She tells me he won't sign the divorce papers......is this a crock? Can she force him to without taking him to court? Can she simply submit paperwork and get it done on her own? If so...I will confront her on the matter.

She simply marches down to the court-house and files for divorce. He can object as much as he wants, but if she files, they WILL end up divorced.

Now, I said there was more to the story....and there is.

We both had a short-term (6 month) drug problem back in March....went through UA testing, and substance abuse treatment. We have proven ourselves and are clean. THIS is the main reason the GAL gave custody to the father.

Oh for pete's sake - you didn't think this was important enough to mention earlier?! THIS is precisely why Dad has custody. And rightly so.

The part that bothers me is that their ENTIRE case revolves around our past "substance abuse" issues....but, this system,the double standards, and the Blind-Eye it turns to FACT that the father is, and has been a "drug addict" for over six years means NOTHING to the GAL, or commissioner. Why is that? Because his medications are "legal"? Although he is a virtual zombie, who CANNOT keep a job,and DOES NOT raise his children on his own.

While he laid around on the couch for YEARS, popping pills, skipping out on physical therapy, and feeling sorry for himself SHE was the one who got up EVERY day, went to work, and supported her kids...and him. She has been the sole provider for the kids for years. Now, because of one slip up....she loses it all. And none of this matters....at least to the GAL and commissioner.

Now....our attorney is positive that the actual custody battle will come out in her favor. The husband is still a drug addict, lives with his parents, and now HAS NO JOB. Like I said, its a matter of saving up some money in the meantime to pay the attorney to get the ball rolling.

SHE IS NOT SUPPORTING HER CHILDREN. Does she seriously think that she can throw Dad's lack of employment at him? For real?

And OP - please read the sticky post, and understand that you're NOT involved here. Period. Even if. This does NOT concern you legally. Step back before you ruin Mom's chances completely.

 

[WeeMan]

Adultery.....I love it! Ha ha....I'm gonna get her a sweater for christmas with a big fat "A" on it......and the letter "A" is gonna be decorated like a christmas tree

So, thanks.....I will confront her on the issue. If she is not divorced soon, I'm packing my bags and ridding myself of this headache completely.

Despite what the sticky says, I DO feel that I am entitled to ask these questions on her behalf due to the fact that my family has been paying the legal fees associated with the custody battle.

As far as her paying her child support......you can't squeeze blood from a turnip. She has financial obligations, that she cannot get out of, without ruining her credit and who knows what else. She was also the custodial parent (kept the kids all week, and gave them to her husband every other weekend....kids went to school by her house, she paid daycare expenses after school....etc etc...) for the past two years....and the commissioner did not care about any of this.

Its just a messed up situation....I was hoping that something could be done about this Living....Walking....contradiction of a man. You wanna talkt about Pots and Kettles.....he is the epitome of both! He is a "legal" drug addict, has been for years....and its SADLY ok in the law's eyes. We were addicted to opiates for 6 months....he has been addicted to opiates for 6 years. Do you not see a problem here?

 

[Silverplum]

For posterity. Or something.

Adultery.....I love it! Ha ha....I'm gonna get her a sweater for christmas with a big fat "A" on it......and the letter "A" is gonna be decorated like a christmas tree

So, thanks.....I will confront her on the issue. If she is not divorced soon, I'm packing my bags and ridding myself of this headache completely.

Despite what the sticky says, I DO feel that I am entitled to ask these questions on her behalf due to the fact that my family has been paying the legal fees associated with the custody battle.

As far as her paying her child support......you can't squeeze blood from a turnip. She has financial obligations, that she cannot get out of, without ruining her credit and who knows what else. She was also the custodial parent (kept the kids all week, and gave them to her husband every other weekend....kids went to school by her house, she paid daycare expenses after school....etc etc...) for the past two years....and the commissioner did not care about any of this.

Its just a messed up situation....I was hoping that something could be done about this Living....Walking....contradiction of a man. You wanna talkt about Pots and Kettles.....he is the epitome of both! He is a "legal" drug addict, has been for years....and its SADLY ok in the law's eyes. We were addicted to opiates for 6 months....he has been addicted to opiates for 6 years. Do you not see a problem here?

One of the many problems I see here is that your family -- boyfriend's family -- is paying perfectly good cash money to attorneys and such on behalf of your still-married (that would be "adulterous," for those who can't infer) girlfriend's children?

Insanitypants!