step parent adoption

[AS5]

Audrey from California

When the noncustodial parent signs the consent for the adoption can he change his mind? He is threatening me that if I do not stop child support he will tell the judge that he does not want to consent. What do I do?

 

[Proserpina]

Audrey from California

When the noncustodial parent signs the consent for the adoption can he change his mind? He is threatening me that if I do not stop child support he will tell the judge that he does not want to consent. What do I do?

Yep - he can withdraw consent up to (and in some cases for a short period of time afterwards) the adoption being finalized.

 

[Banned_Princess]

Audrey from California

When the noncustodial parent signs the consent for the adoption can he change his mind? He is threatening me that if I do not stop child support he will tell the judge that he does not want to consent. What do I do?

What "consent for adoption" ARE you talking about?

You want to have someone else adopt the kid, but you STILL want child support from the father?

WHAT kind of game are you running here?

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

When your child is adopted child support will stop. Now if the ex owes arrears those will still be due to you but any future support will no longer be the ex's obligation.

 

[AS5]

let me rephrase....my husband is adopting my son. my husband has been raising my son since my son was 3. His biological dad has not wanted to see or pay child support for the past 9 years. My husband is the only father my son knows. The noncustodial parent signed the consent but now is saying if I don't cancel the child support he will tell the judge that he does not want to consent. I told him I would stop it after everything went through.

 

[>Charlotte<]

let me rephrase....my husband is adopting my son. my husband has been raising my son since my son was 3. His biological dad has not wanted to see or pay child support for the past 9 years. My husband is the only father my son knows. The noncustodial parent signed the consent but now is saying if I don't cancel the child support he will tell the judge that he does not want to consent. I told him I would stop it after everything went through.

That's still not quite clear.

The non-custodial parent is the biological father, correct?
You are asking for the biological father's consent so your husband can adopt, correct?
The biological father is threatening to withhold consent if you don't stop the child support he is paying, correct?
Are you talking about current and future support, or arrearages for previously unpaid support?

 

[AS5]

yes,noncustodial is the biological father
my husband wants to adopt my son
yes he hasn't paid any child support yet
arrears and current until the adoption goes through

Can he withdraw the consent, if I cancel child support what if he still withdraws the consent can I start child support back up. I just want him to leave us alone. my son has a stable and happy life now, he doesn't need the burdens that his biological dad is going to put on him.

 

[>Charlotte<]

yes,noncustodial is the biological father
my husband wants to adopt my son
yes he hasn't paid any child support yet
arrears and current until the adoption goes through

Can he withdraw the consent, if I cancel child support what if he still withdraws the consent can I start child support back up. I just want to leave us alone. my son has a stable and happy life now, he doesn't need the burdens that his biological dad is going to put on him.

He can withdraw consent under any circumstances. If his goal is to stop paying child support, that would be pretty idiotic.

As soon as the adoption is final, he will have no child and no further responsibility. He can (and should) at that time file to stop the support.

Arrearages are different. An adoption can't retroactively fix the fact that, for a certain period of time, you bore the entire financial responsibility for his child. He owes you that money. I think you can voluntarily forgive those arrearages, and I also think a judge can forgive them even if you protest. It's up to you if you want to do it voluntarily, but the father should be reminded that he will continue to owe support until the child is adopted.

If the pending adoption is more important to you than the money, the easiest thing to do would be to forgive the arrearages, and then let the father do the legwork to stop the support when he's no longer obligated.

 

[Gracie3787]

yes,noncustodial is the biological father
my husband wants to adopt my son
yes he hasn't paid any child support yet
arrears and current until the adoption goes through

Can he withdraw the consent, if I cancel child support what if he still withdraws the consent can I start child support back up. I just want him to leave us alone. my son has a stable and happy life now, he doesn't need the burdens that his biological dad is going to put on him.

Simple- stop the CS. Yes, if he changes his mind after you've stopped the CS, you have the right to have the order re-instated.

It boils down to this- what is the most important to you- getting the adoption done, or fighting with ex over money?

 

[Zigner]

Better yet - DON'T "stop" the support. When you receive his payment, write a check right back to him for the same amount.

 

[Gracie3787]

Better yet - DON'T "stop" the support. When you receive his payment, write a check right back to him for the same amount.

That's an even better idea.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Better yet - DON'T "stop" the support. When you receive his payment, write a check right back to him for the same amount.

Unless that creates any tax issues. I've asked before whether paid or received child support is deductible/declarable, but I don't remember what the answer was.

 

[TheGeekess]

Unless that creates any tax issues. I've asked before whether paid or received child support is deductible/declarable, but I don't remember what the answer was.

Short answer: No, it is neither deductible or declarable for income tax purposes.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Short answer: No, it is neither deductible or declarable for income tax purposes.

Thanks. I'll try to remember this time.

 

[ecmst12]

In some states it is illegal to forgive arrearages in exchange for terminating rights.

If he has never been involved or paid any support, you may be able to get the adoption approved by the court anyway, even without dad's consent.