5th Degree Felony

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Clearly he isn't paying, and somehow you think that is going to change because your nice to him once?

He had plenty of chances to pay before it reached this lvl of trouble and he didn't.. he just wants you to let him off.

The only thing that will come from this if you do this is him expecting you to "bail" him out again next time... cause when someone lets it get this bad, there will be a next time.

Are you saying that you'll make a back deal for him to pay you outside of the court order?

Honey, there is NO way you'll EVER see that money. Now, there is nothing that says that you'll don't take this to court and tell the judge that you are willing to take the purge he is willing to pay you AND the vehicle that will reduce the arrearage by x amount of dollars. The judge may agree to it.

I get it that you don't want your son to think that YOU put his dad in prison. What the child needs to understand is that dad CHOSE to ignore a court order and the JUDGE is the one putting him in jail.

You aren't getting the money now. What difference will it make if he is cooling his heals in prison. Since the GF is on assistance, they could very well put him on a work-release program so that the money he makes is paying for ALL the children. In fact, I would suggest it to the judge if it were me. If you, as a mother, state that you feel that all the parties would be served by dad continuing to work, but spending his nights in prison:
1. dad learns that there are consequences to his actions
2. the children are supported by dad working

 

[B.Vermouth]

Are you saying that you'll make a back deal for him to pay you outside of the court order?

Honey, there is NO way you'll EVER see that money. Now, there is nothing that says that you'll don't take this to court and tell the judge that you are willing to take the purge he is willing to pay you AND the vehicle that will reduce the arrearage by x amount of dollars. The judge may agree to it.

I get it that you don't want your son to think that YOU put his dad in prison. What the child needs to understand is that dad CHOSE to ignore a court order and the JUDGE is the one putting him in jail.

You aren't getting the money now. What difference will it make if he is cooling his heals in prison. Since the GF is on assistance, they could very well put him on a work-release program so that the money he makes is paying for ALL the children. In fact, I would suggest it to the judge if it were me. If you, as a mother, state that you feel that all the parties would be served by dad continuing to work, but spending his nights in prison:
1. dad learns that there are consequences to his actions
2. the children are supported by dad working

this, this, this.

any "deal" you want to make with him needs to be through the court bc then if he doesnt follow though, he can go to jail. if you do a backdoor deal, he is going to screw you.

If he had the cash & wanted to pay up, he probably wouldve done so before now when that kind of $ mightve helped him out...his purge will probably be more than that @ this point, plus he's been charged with a felony.

 

[xxnatalixx]

Are you saying that you'll make a back deal for him to pay you outside of the court order?

Honey, there is NO way you'll EVER see that money. Now, there is nothing that says that you'll don't take this to court and tell the judge that you are willing to take the purge he is willing to pay you AND the vehicle that will reduce the arrearage by x amount of dollars. The judge may agree to it.

I get it that you don't want your son to think that YOU put his dad in prison. What the child needs to understand is that dad CHOSE to ignore a court order and the JUDGE is the one putting him in jail.

You aren't getting the money now. What difference will it make if he is cooling his heals in prison. Since the GF is on assistance, they could very well put him on a work-release program so that the money he makes is paying for ALL the children. In fact, I would suggest it to the judge if it were me. If you, as a mother, state that you feel that all the parties would be served by dad continuing to work, but spending his nights in prison:
1. dad learns that there are consequences to his actions
2. the children are supported by dad working

I was wondering if I was allowed to suggest anything, so I'm glad you said that. I would be perfectly happy even if they would put him on house arrest until he pays the full amount. I'm going to call the victims assistance lady on Monday and see if they have offered him any deals and what he is really facing as far as jail time or whatever. I think I have a problem with being too nice. He is not going to change though, or man up if he does not have to be held accountable for what he has done. GRRR...this is all so frustrating.


OT I saw other son's dad today...(the one that took me to court twice a year and then cussed out the magistrate and now has nothing to do with his son.) He was at his stepson's basketball game and would not even speak to our son who was standing right in front of him. I guess I was hoping that dad would miss him and grow up and want to be a part of his life...ya never know, maybe someday......

 

[xxnatalixx]

this, this, this.

any "deal" you want to make with him needs to be through the court bc then if he doesnt follow though, he can go to jail. if you do a backdoor deal, he is going to screw you.

If he had the cash & wanted to pay up, he probably wouldve done so before now when that kind of $ mightve helped him out...his purge will probably be more than that @ this point, plus he's been charged with a felony.

I was going to make dad give me the money and sign over the vehicle first, before I signed it, but if it's illegal, I will not even consider it. It is his girlfriends tax return, which also makes me not want to do it, because it is not dad paying for it, it's girlfriend bailing him out so it doesn't really hurt him any. If I was not so desperate for money right now, I would have just told him where to stick his money.

 

[Isis1]

I was wondering if I was allowed to suggest anything, so I'm glad you said that. I would be perfectly happy even if they would put him on house arrest until he pays the full amount. I'm going to call the victims assistance lady on Monday and see if they have offered him any deals and what he is really facing as far as jail time or whatever. I think I have a problem with being too nice. He is not going to change though, or man up if he does not have to be held accountable for what he has done. GRRR...this is all so frustrating.


OT I saw other son's dad today...(the one that took me to court twice a year and then cussed out the magistrate and now has nothing to do with his son.) He was at his stepson's basketball game and would not even speak to our son who was standing right in front of him. I guess I was hoping that dad would miss him and grow up and want to be a part of his life...ya never know, maybe someday......

that is just awful. i am so sorry for your child. is he in therapy?

 

[xxnatalixx]

that is just awful. i am so sorry for your child. is he in therapy?

He was in therapy, but his counselor said that he has done so well since he stopped going to dad's that she didn't think he needed it anymore so she discharged him.

 

[LdiJ]

I totaly get what you are saying, and I'm sure you're probably right, but if he goes to prison I get nothing. If I make this deal, I get 3,000 and a blazer. I don't think he'll start paying because I'm nice to him. I'm really not that naive. I think he'll start paying because they finally know where he lives and his girlfriend/mother of his other child is on public assistance so they will know where they live. That is how they(child support) finally found him in the first place.

Look...if he has 3000.00 cash to give you and a car, then he can offer through the court to pay that same amount and give you the car, and probably avoid prison. Particularly if he sets up a payment plan for the rest of the arrearages and pays current support promptly.

 

[maryjo]

I can assure you that you would never, EVER see that money! It doesnt pay to be nice. I learned that the hard way.

We have a stipulation in our divorce order that says my ex can not claim our son on his taxes every other year unless he is current in his child support. We have been divorced 3 and a half years and he has been behind since 9 months out from the divorce.

Two years ago he called me in December BEGGING me to let him claim him that year saying he would use the money to pay the back child support he owed. I wasnt stupid enough to trust him...I was just trying to be nice.

I never saw a penny of it.

This past summer I forgave half of what he owed in child support and agreed to an order for him to pay 25 dollars a month on his back child support. At that rate he will be current in 6 years if he doesnt fall behind again.

Since that time I have heard repeatedly how I am trying to take all his money and how he is going to stop paying child support since he never gets to see his son. Even though its HIM who texts me every other week to tell me he wont be getting him that weekend. I have never kept his son from him nor would I. But when I dont respond to him he gets more upset and again threatens to stop paying child support.

Its sad. Now he is threatening to report me to the IRS and sic his lawyer on me because I claimed our son on my taxes this year even though it would have been his year to do so. He is still behind in his child support!

So do yourself a favor. Stand up for yourself and your son. I understand you need that money now. Your ex probably does too. Thats why dangling it under your nose right now is sure to get your attention and persuade you to agree. Dont do it. Like the other said, ask for options in court. Tell them if he could pay that 3000 then, he could pay it through the court. Dont do anything without the order and direction of the court. He might still not pay in money..but he WILL pay one way or the other.

And dont worry about what your son will think. There will come a time when he is old enough to realize the truth and understand that DAD put HIMSELF in jail. Not you.