New husband

[garrula lingua]

I'm missing something here:
Wouldn't you want to know who was living with your child or grandchild ?

I'm not speaking of legalities, but practicalities.

I've had Judges order that the CP could visit the home where his/her child would be for visitation & know who else lived in that home.

Why not give sufficient information to off-set any worries ?

Wouldn't OP want to know the same information about ex's new wife ?

 

[cbg]

I don't know about anyone else here, but I don't answer implied questions. I don't want to have to guess what you want to know. "I was wondering" does not a question make. Nor does a link from urbandictionary.com trump standard punctuation rules.

 

[stealth2]

Not all questions end with what if, specially ones that include the phrase "I was wondering".

Actually, few *sentences* end with "what if", let alone questions. And ALL questions end with a question mark.

I have a link for you to look at and really think about. Urban Dictionary: Grammar ****

And, I'm sorry - someone calling it a dictionary does NOT make this a valid site for grammar or punctuation.

 

[Ohiogal]

I did let them know his name, now they want a family history. I would have no problem with that if my exhusband wasn't a psycho and my new husband actually wanted to meet him. He's not one for drama and wants to remain out of the mix. I do understand where you're are going with this, but I know my ex and know that his is not capable of being an adult about it. That's why we're in this situation to begin with.

LEGALLY new hubby can and should remain out of the mix. Personally, that is not going to be possible as your child deserves more.

 

[Zephyr]

As was said before, you are not required to give dad or exMIL any info unless ordered to do so in your court order. While I sort of agree that sharing some information might be a good idea just out of courtesy, I would not volunteer my own husband to have a background check done by my ex or his mother- and hubby is clean as the day is long.

I also wonder if exMIL isn't jeopardizing her employment by running a background check for personal reasons without cause, proper notification and/or permission (not sure on those legalities).

 

[LdiJ]

As was said before, you are not required to give dad or exMIL any info unless ordered to do so in your court order. While I sort of agree that sharing some information might be a good idea just out of courtesy, I would not volunteer my own husband to have a background check done by my ex or his mother- and hubby is clean as the day is long.

I also wonder if exMIL isn't jeopardizing her employment by running a background check for personal reasons without cause, proper notification and/or permission (not sure on those legalities).

I also agree that giving a limited amount of information is a curtious thing to do. However the background check is over the top, and so was wanting to know his family history.

Do dad and grandma intend to run background checks and demand a family history out of the parents of every close friend these children ever have?

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Urban Dictionary: Grammar ****

You lost your argument on what a question is questions right about ... here...

And if Dad and MIL have new hubby's name, you'd be amazed at all the "information" they might already have.

 

[sometwo]

I have to notify them if I intend to move in with a sex offender

Did I miss something? Does your order actually say THEM as in mother n law too?

 

[cinnamongirl85]

You lost your argument on what a question is questions right about ... here...

And if Dad and MIL have new hubby's name, you'd be amazed at all the "information" they might already have.

Why are we even arguing about whether a question is a question to begin with? Why is a senior member attacking someone who has a legitimate question to begin with? I got on here for free advice, not free wise cracks about punctuation. Seems to me that if someone doesn't have advice to give, they shouldn't be commenting on this thread. I know you are not that person, but don't defend someone whose clearly not helping the situation.

Now, for an on topic remark. I already know that they have all of the information they need to do a background check. I used to be a skip tracer, so I know all about what kind of information you can find on people. I gave them name, age, and where he is from. It was too much info in my opinion, but I was tired of the fighting.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Going on gut feel, I think you probably wouldn't mind if dad knew/ met the new husband. Isn't the real probably the meddling X-MIL?

 

[Silverplum]

Why are we even arguing about whether a question is a question to begin with? Why is a senior member attacking someone who has a legitimate question to begin with? I got on here for free advice, not free wise cracks about punctuation. Seems to me that if someone doesn't have advice to give, they shouldn't be commenting on this thread. I know you are not that person, but don't defend someone whose clearly not helping the situation.

Now, for an on topic remark. I already know that they have all of the information they need to do a background check. I used to be a skip tracer, so I know all about what kind of information you can find on people. I gave them name, age, and where he is from. It was too much info in my opinion, but I was tired of the fighting.

**************......

 

[cinnamongirl85]

I'm missing something here:
Wouldn't you want to know who was living with your child or grandchild ?

I'm not speaking of legalities, but practicalities.

I've had Judges order that the CP could visit the home where his/her child would be for visitation & know who else lived in that home.

Why not give sufficient information to off-set any worries ?

Wouldn't OP want to know the same information about ex's new wife ?

No, I have no desire to get to know any of my ex husband's girlfriends. I am trying to avoid conflict with someone who has a short fuse. I gave his mother all she needs to do a background check, and that's all she's getting from me. My new husband has no desire to meet either of them and I cannot force him to do so. I have faith that my ex would not allow anybody around my son that he thinks could possibly hurt him.

 

[cinnamongirl85]

Going on gut feel, I think you probably wouldn't mind if dad knew/ met the new husband. Isn't the real probably the meddling X-MIL?

She is the problem and I informed her of that last night. I don't want to cause problems, but I can't keep letting her insert herself into our lives like she does. The fact that I actually use the word them disgusts me because I know she shouldn't be involved to begin with. I don't think the ex has any desire to get to know my new husband either, but I wouldn't know because he always defers me to his mother. Now if he does actually want to get to know my husband, I suspect it's just to cause problems because I know how he is.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Then suggest that you IGNORE any and all requests that come in from her. Your answer to any question:

I will talk to the FATHER of my child and HANG UP.

If the father of the child tries to pawn you off to her, JUST SAY ***NO***.

 

[cinnamongirl85]

Then suggest that you IGNORE any and all requests that come in from her. Your answer to any question:

I will talk to the FATHER of my child and HANG UP.

If the father of the child tries to pawn you off to her, JUST SAY ***NO***.

Thank you. I will definitely do that.