Equal Parenting Time, Child Support w/Giant Income Gap

[aubreyz]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WA

I'm looking for some advice before starting new mediation processes/hearings. Ex-husband and I have a 10 year old daughter; we've been divorced since she was 5. For the most part, we've split parenting time 50/50. We've had some bumps in the road, but I've seen and heard of worse, so here's my dilemma:

I was CP, he was NCP, with joint legal and equal parenting time for the first 3.5 years. At the time, he was ordered to pay me support. I made about 35k annually and he made about 95k. He was ordered to pay me $1,000 per month, which he didn't think was fair (since we split her time), but he was always on time with the full amount. He and I have much different values, but he does love our daughter and he is a very responsible person.

Close to 2 years ago, I had a major accident that fractured my pelvis. I was hospitalized and in rehabilitation therapy for months, and also had to be weaned off of pain medication in an inpatient setting. During this time, the hospital and treatment facilities were about 4 hours away from the city we lived in with our daughter, and we signed papers to make him temporary CP and have decision making/legal authority. He also filed to have his CS suspended and I was ordered to pay CS to him. We had always been on a private pay basis (CS wasn't taken out of his check), and this is what he asked of me as well. Due to his income and my situation at the time (which was deemed temporary), I was only ordered to pay $25 per month. This went on for about 6 months.

When I was well enough to return home and return to parenting, my ex started refusing my checks, saying he didn't need such a menial amount, and said that if that was all I was going to pay (the amount I was ordered), that I should just put it each month into a college savings account for my daughter and send him the info, which I've been doing. (I should mention that his income has more than tripled since he was first ordered to pay me CS 5 years ago. He now makes 320k per year, and I am making 48k.)

Since I've been back and we've gone back to 50-50 parenting time, we've never officially addressed the temporary orders, so legally he is still CP and has 100% legal custody. I recently filed to have this amended, as it seems like it would be best for all involved that our orders reflect status quo. I'm not picky about who is CP and who is NCP since we do a pretty good job of sharing, but I do want joint legal. Would a CS modification go hand in hand with such a request? He is making me feel very guilty about even *thinking* about asking for CS again, since we split time equally and he was her primary parent without much help for a 6 month period.

He said that if I DO ask for CS, it's only fair to ask for what the state calculator says. Every state calculator I can find only gives CS payment amounts for incomes up to 75k; I can't find any sort of "calculator" that takes into account such a high income and such a large income disparity between parents, and for payments to NCP by CP when parenting time is shared.

I don't want to do wrong by him, so if it's ridiculous to ask for my "old amount" to be restored or revisited, can someone let me know? I know that I will have an attorney's help eventually for assistance with mediation, filing, document wording, etc. for the CS mod, but I don't want to surprise my ex with a letter from my attorney right off the bat. So far, each time we've gone to court has been by mutual agreement, and I'd like it to stay that way if possible. What would be a reasonable amount to ask for or present to him for his consideration before we get the attorneys too heavily involved? Will my filing for the custody mod automatically trigger CS order to be revisited, or will it be completely separate? Will my deposits into a college savings account, rather than CS payments to my ex, be frowned upon by the court?

 

[mistoffolees]

Most state calculators don't apply to situations where parenting time is approximately equal (as referenced here: Washington Child Support Calculator). It's therefore hard to say how he is going to figure state guidelines.

Limiting income used in the calculations is not uncommon. $75 K is a lower figure than some I've seen (it's $150 K in my state), but it happens in a lot of states.

I can't tell you what is 'fair', nor can anyone else. Ask your state child support collection agency for a calculation and they can probably give you a ball park.

I'm earning quite a bit more than your ex and my wife is comparable to you, but our state guidelines for 50:50 are much lower than the $1 K he was paying ($600 per month based on a $150 K max income). OTOH, some states charge 20-25% of net income for a single child. If we apply that to the DIFFERENCE in your incomes ($60 K gross, perhaps $40 K net), that would be $8-10 K per year based on full time CP. Since it's half time, perhaps $4 - 5 K per year would be in the right ballpark.

 

[aubreyz]

If we apply that to the DIFFERENCE in your incomes ($60 K gross, perhaps $40 K net), that would be $8-10 K per year based on full time CP. Since it's half time, perhaps $4 - 5 K per year would be in the right ballpark.

Thanks mistoffolees. I *think* I understand what you are saying, but want to clarify. With him at $320,000 per year and me at $48,000 per year, the difference in our incomes (gross) is about $270,000, which is a lot more than a 60k difference. Am I missing something? Where did the 60k figure come from?

 

[aubreyz]

Sorry, sorry... I'm a bit slow tonight! You're saying that the 60k gross figure IS about what 20-25% per child would be. Gotcha. And thanks for your honest input, by the way. Like I said, I'm not trying to drain him dry, and he is not entirely resistant to paying support even though we share time. I just see a lot of people saying on here that your child "deserves" the child support, and I want to be fair to both my ex AND my daughter.

 

[mistoffolees]

Sorry, sorry... I'm a bit slow tonight! You're saying that the 60k gross figure IS about what 20-25% per child would be. Gotcha. And thanks for your honest input, by the way. Like I said, I'm not trying to drain him dry, and he is not entirely resistant to paying support even though we share time. I just see a lot of people saying on here that your child "deserves" the child support, and I want to be fair to both my ex AND my daughter.

No, that's not what I said.

I said that you in many cases, child support might be around 20-25% of net if he were the sole income earner. If you apply the same figure to the DIFFERENCE between your net incomes, it might suggest $4-5 K per year.

HOWEVER, maybe I didn't make it clear enough. This is not a legal recommendation. I am not aware of any law or even cases that support this as a way of setting alimony. Rather, you were looking for an idea of what is fair. The above is a very simple analysis, back of the envelope, of how you might go about setting a fair figure. Note that it doesn't include other factors like which of you is paying medical insurance and so on. LOTS of factors might change the result.

If you want a formal answer, you'll have to wait for a court decision. Or mediation. Or simply reach an agreement between the two of you. If you reach an agreement that you're both happy with, then it's probably reasonable.

 

[LdiJ]

Sorry, sorry... I'm a bit slow tonight! You're saying that the 60k gross figure IS about what 20-25% per child would be. Gotcha. And thanks for your honest input, by the way. Like I said, I'm not trying to drain him dry, and he is not entirely resistant to paying support even though we share time. I just see a lot of people saying on here that your child "deserves" the child support, and I want to be fair to both my ex AND my daughter.

You would be doing him a favor if you went back to the 1000.00 a month. I suspect that the court would order much more than that with an income of 320k vs your 48k.

12k a year is only 3.8% of his income. You might want to point that out to him.

 

[nextwife]

You would be doing him a favor if you went back to the 1000.00 a month. I suspect that the court would order much more than that with an income of 320k vs your 48k.

12k a year is only 3.8% of his income. You might want to point that out to him.

Some states cap the amount of income that would be considered for CS. When that is the case, the percentage of total income is irrelevant. One only counts up to the cap, correct?

 

[LdiJ]

Some states cap the amount of income that would be considered for CS. When that is the case, the percentage of total income is irrelevant. One only counts up to the cap, correct?

That really isn't true. It looks as though some states cap child support, but what the laws really are, is that the guidelines cap out, and after that point its the judges discretion on how much to order. A judge isn't going to order someone to pay child support as if they only earned 75k, when in reality they earn 320k. However, at the same time, its not too likely (if say the guidelines call for 17%) that a judge would order 4500.00 worth of child support a month either. Its going to be somewhere between the 1000.00 amount and the 4500.00 amount.

 

[mistoffolees]

That really isn't true. It looks as though some states cap child support, but what the laws really are, is that the guidelines cap out, and after that point its the judges discretion on how much to order. A judge isn't going to order someone to pay child support as if they only earned 75k, when in reality they earn 320k. However, at the same time, its not too likely (if say the guidelines call for 17%) that a judge would order 4500.00 worth of child support a month either. Its going to be somewhere between the 1000.00 amount and the 4500.00 amount.

That is correct - or the difference can be made up with in-kind payments. For example, I pay the cs according to guidelines according to the cap in my state, but also pay tuition, medical, and activities on top of that because I earned more than the cap at the time (which effectively triples the amount I pay).