Emergency Rm Visit

[proud_parent]

If she REALLY went THRU the windshield- I would want proof cause it seems a little odd to me with the strength of windshields and the fact that they shatter, but don't break with most impacts.

That depends a lot on the windshield. Was it original equipment or an aftermarket replacement window? (OEMs are held to higher manufacturing standards than aftermarket suppliers.) Was it installed properly? Was there already a small chip or crack prior to impact? Were there recent temperature fluctuations that would have weakened the glass?

 

[ecmst12]

I would be concerned about the car too, because someone is going to have to pay for that damage. Since she was in his custody it should be covered by dad's homeowners insurance, but if he doesn't volunteer the info, both of you could be brought into it.

 

[Proserpina]

I have to ask...why all the discussion about the car?

What exactly is being implied here? That it was dad's fault?

Kids have accidents - it's a fact of life.

 

[LdiJ]

I have to ask...why all the discussion about the car?

What exactly is being implied here? That it was dad's fault?

Kids have accidents - it's a fact of life.

I will be honest, I had some concern that perhaps dad was trying to protect someone else. It just didn't seem possible to me that it went down that way.

However, since more than one person here has experienced something similar, I have to accept that its possible.

 

[liandrajade]

I have to ask...why all the discussion about the car?

What exactly is being implied here? That it was dad's fault?

Kids have accidents - it's a fact of life.

I think because Mom is trying to figure out what happened and mom thinks it's Dad's fault OR I am thinking she thinks something else may have happened.

I agree, kids get into the weirdest situations but at the same time, she needs to think logically here and look at all the pieces of the puzzle.

1st 24-48 hrs of any serious injury, you have tons of swelling and brusing in the soft tissue and blood vessels in and around the wounds. It must horrible to mom BUT, we all don't know how bad kiddo really looks. What may be shocking to her may be like "oh ok, its not that bad" to someone else.

 

[milspecgirl]

I think mom is concerned that it was not a bike accident. with dad's past abuse allegations towards the stepson, mom is worried that dad (or someone) may have become violent with the child. or that maybe someone was driving the child and they had a wreck that caused the damage (maybe someone who shouldn't have been driving or was DUI, etc)

 

[gr8rn]

I'M just thinking, she says Dad is very defensive and maybe he is hiding something.

If it were my kid and it happened on his fathers time, I would definitely want to know what really happened.

I would want to see, accident, police, EMT, insurance or some kind of report.

Something serious happened on Dads time. Mom thinks there is more to the story. If it were me, I would want to know exactly what happened. She is the Mom, her CHILD has 50 stitches in her FACE. Permanent scarring.

If dad is being evasive because he did something wrong, I would want to know what he did wrong.

I am like that though, maybe others would blow it off. Mom has every right to know what happened to her daughters face, and why.

 

[luvisabattle]

I have to ask...why all the discussion about the car?

What exactly is being implied here? That it was dad's fault?

Kids have accidents - it's a fact of life.

The story didn't sound plausible to me last night. I'm not sure it is now. He hasn't been truthful on many issues in the past and his family backs him - especially if it means that his custody rights are in danger.

Our daughter has told me different versions of incidents that have happened in the past and has admited to doing that because her father asked her to, so I don't know who to believe.

I'm more angry and scared about the fact that she will have facial scars for the rest of her life due to what I feel might be negligence.

This is her first accident - first stiches - and has only just in the past three years (the father/wife lived in Arizona previously) had residential time with her father/wife. I feel he is responsible.

 

[>Charlotte<]

I think mom is concerned that it was not a bike accident. with dad's past abuse allegations towards the stepson, mom is worried that dad (or someone) may have become violent with the child. or that maybe someone was driving the child and they had a wreck that caused the damage (maybe someone who shouldn't have been driving or was DUI, etc)

Which is why I want to state that just because I assure OP it can happen, I don't mean to imply that's what did happen. We obviously have no idea. If there is any reasonable cause for concern, Mom absolutely should follow through with making sure she knows the facts.

 

[TampaFlaMom9]

any body considered much of washington state is not flat...

not hard to picture 8yr old semi experienced bike rider racing downhill as fast as she can go because speed is such a thrill,
careening out of control into uphill facing parked car...bike brakes
could suddenly discovered to be useless or could even have contributed to hurling girl over handlebars onto hood,instead of into front of car...

possible gravity assist?

I always feel guilty when my child is hurt on my watch, dont need to get pushed into that...if you are inadvertently being accusatory as well as curious, defensiveness might be a normal reaction...Most accidents are preventable, but most happen because the actual circumstances are unforseen...accidents do happen else the word would have no purpose

hindsight is 20/20

TFM

 

[Proserpina]

I'M just thinking, she says Dad is very defensive and maybe he is hiding something.

If it were my kid and it happened on his fathers time, I would definitely want to know what really happened.

I would want to see, accident, police, EMT, insurance or some kind of report.

Something serious happened on Dads time. Mom thinks there is more to the story. If it were me, I would want to know exactly what happened. She is the Mom, her CHILD has 50 stitches in her FACE. Permanent scarring.

If dad is being evasive because he did something wrong, I would want to know what he did wrong.

I am like that though, maybe others would blow it off. Mom has every right to know what happened to her daughters face, and why.

I'm sorry, where did I even loosely imply that Mom didn't have the right to know what happened? Or shouldn't ask questions?

Oh. I didn't.

Mom - could Dad simply be as distraught about it (and not so much evasive as simply terrified and concerned - heck, I'd be a complete wreck myself) as you are and not reacting appropriately because of that?

I suppose it's moot at this point. You know what to do. Ask the questions.

And bear in mind that again, if there was even a hint of possible abuse, it would have been reported by ER staff immediately.

 

[MichaCA]

If there is something suspect...I'm not sure I would be pressing dad about it. If he's hiding something...he's not going to come right out and say what happened.

The logical thing to me, seems to be to simply call and see if a report was made to the police (about an accident). I assume...maybe wrongly, she was taken by ambulance? If she was, there has to be an accident report.

Are you far away from dad? Can you simply drive by and see if there is a car with a smashed windshield? (although it could have been taken for repairs at this point)

I am betting there was an ambulance ride, if so, there is an accident report at the police station.

I wouldn't be thinking about custody issues right now...I would focus on getting the facts straightened out before your daughter gets home - so that hopefully its not a drama when she gets home.

 

[luvisabattle]

any body considered much of washington state is not flat...

not hard to picture 8yr old semi experienced bike rider racing downhill as fast as she can go because speed is such a thrill,
careening out of control into uphill facing parked car...bike brakes
could suddenly discovered to be useless or could even have contributed to hurling girl over handlebars onto hood,instead of into front of car...

possible gravity assist?

I always feel guilty when my child is hurt on my watch, dont need to get pushed into that...if you are inadvertently being accusatory as well as curious, defensiveness might be a normal reaction...Most accidents are preventable, but most happen because the actual circumstances are unforseen...accidents do happen else the word would have no purpose

hindsight is 20/20

TFM

It's possible, and I have been known to perceive things wrongly and then over-react.

But like many have said to do, I'll get the facts (hopefully in a non confrontational way) decide if it needs to be addressed and then concentrait on trying to make this better for her.

They gave the bike to her for her b'day recently in May so it is new to her, and it is bigger than the one she has at my house. Also they live on a hill, but she said she wast going down it. But she was also on pain meds. Neither parent was there when it happened, so if thier story is true, no-one really knows the exact details.

 

[luvisabattle]

If there is something suspect...I'm not sure I would be pressing dad about it. If he's hiding something...he's not going to come right out and say what happened.

The logical thing to me, seems to be to simply call and see if a report was made to the police (about an accident). I assume...maybe wrongly, she was taken by ambulance? If she was, there has to be an accident report.

Are you far away from dad? Can you simply drive by and see if there is a car with a smashed windshield? (although it could have been taken for repairs at this point)

I am betting there was an ambulance ride, if so, there is an accident report at the police station.

I wouldn't be thinking about custody issues right now...I would focus on getting the facts straightened out before your daughter gets home - so that hopefully its not a drama when she gets home.

I agree with you and will take the advice.

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR HELP

 

[ecmst12]

Fyi when there are lacerations on the face they usually bring in a plastic surgeon to do the stitching, to minimize scarring.