My ex served me his response declaration today. Oh Lord I don't even know where to start.
You start by calming down and realizing that he can ask for the moon, but it doesn't mean he'll get it.
His is requesting that the 50/50 physical custody remain but he is asking for 100% legal custody.
Not going to happen - and he looks foolish for even requesting it. If you are a fit parent to have 50:50 physical, then there is absolutely no reason why he should have 100% legal.
There are occasions where the court will order joint legal and then state that if the parents can't agree on something, that one parent can decide, but they would not arbitrarily assign sole legal to a parent when the other parent is fit for 50:50 shared physical.
His grounds for asking that is that he carries the medical insurance already and has paid for daughter's bills. He does carry the insurance per the court order and he has taken daughter to the doctor without my knowledge and paid the bill. I also take daughter to the doctor when needed and pay the bill but I inform him before hand.
Carrying insurance is irrelevant to legal custody determination.
If he tells the court that he has taken the child to the doctor without telling you, that will work against him. BOTH parents need to be aware of what's going on with the child. If the child is being treated for something, you need to know in case of emergency so that there isn't additional treatment that could conflict.
He states that him and stepmom do not like it that I have tarot cards, got them as a birthday present a year ago and have been in my closet except when my daughter wanted to look at them. Does not like that I am a member of the CA Phychics and says I am teaching daughter bad things and does not go with their Baptist beliefs.
There's this little thing called 'freedom of religion' in the U.S. And CA is one of the LEAST likely states to side with him supporting his Baptist religion.
As long as you're not doing anything illegal or harmful to the child, it won't affect custody. And, once again, his position bites him in the rear. If you're unfit for religious reasons, why is he offering you 50:50 physical custody?
He stated that I don't premote a heathy relationship with stepmom and stepmom feels uncomfortable with me around at daughter's school.
Let him bring that up in court. Then tell the judge that you'd like sole legal custody because Stepmom is interfering with your parenting - by Dad's own admission.
He stated I kept her out of school too long for cold and flu and when she had head lice. Daughter had a really bad flu last year with a fever that went on for days and I took her to the doctor and they said tylenol and cough medicine was all they could do and fever had to run its course because it was viral. The school has a zero fever tolerance and must be fever free for 24 hours without the use of fever reducer and also a zero nit tolerance and i had quit a battle with head lice last year I admit. I had to go through her hair with a nit comb ever day for a month or more when I had her and had to go through the whole house cleaning and disinfecting 3 times. The school had an epidemic with lice.
Sounds a little severe, but it's certainly possible. You're going to need to explain it as calmly as you can and tell the judge that you were simply following the school's rules. if you start screaming and yelling over the subject, you'll lose credibility.
It would also be helpful to have the child's attendance record handy to show that she has not missed significant amounts of schools other than those two instances.
Said daughter did not have her own room until court. She had her own room always but prefered to sleep in her two year old half brother's room which has two beds in it. It's only recently as she has gotten older that she has wanted to sleep in her own room again and I redecorated and added a desk to do arts and crafts and homework.
No law says a child must have his/her own room. But even if it did, she has her own room now, so it's irrelevant.
He stated that I am emotionally unstable. No doctor has ever diagnosed me as unstable.
Let him try to prove it. In fact, if he tries, it becomes one more argument for you getting custody since he's clearly trying to interfere with your parenting.
He says I yelled and screamed at stepmom when she honestly made a mistake and withheld my holiday visitation. I was not happy but I did not yell or scream. She told me to kiss her ass that day.
Let him bring that up in court. Then tell the judge that you'd like sole legal custody because Stepmom is interfering with your parenting - by Dad's own admission.
He did not like it when I clicked "Like" on someone's fb joke. The joke was that one person is right in an argument and then the other is the husband.
TFB. You're allowed to 'like' any joke you want.
One of my favorites is: "If a man says something in the forest and there's no woman to hear, is he still wrong?" I could put that all over my facebook page and probably even say it in court and it shouldn't affect custody.
Ex will still not participate in coparenting counseling but I am attending. Daughter is just now after a long search for a child therapist to attend with one.
That's going to hurt him. The judge doesn't give orders for kicks.
He stated his domestic violence was just an unfortunate accident and the cops that arrested him appologized for having to arrest him and he went to court and it was dismissed but he has to take a year long anger management every tuesday from 6-9pm and probation for 5 years.
Too bad. He's got an arrest and probation on his record for DV. If the judge ultimately has to decide between the two of you, that's a serious factor in the decision.
And btw, I doubt if it was dismissed - since he has probation. It was probably deferred prosecution or suspended sentence or something like that.
After all that and the list does go on and on with the same kind of stuff do you all think I will lose my legal custody?
I have never been arrested am not a drug user and have never had the police called out to my house for anything.
You're not going to lose custody simply on the basis of his assertions. If he can PROVE that it's in the child's best interests to be with him, that could change custody, but the fact that he's asking for 50:50 physical means he'll lose that argument.
Frankly, if I were you, I'd have a good attorney to handle this and you should win it hands down - and possibly be awarded your attorney's fees since so many of his complaints are frivolous. If you handle it properly, you could win it in your own, but I really don't think it's worth the amount of money that you save when your kids' custody is at stake.
