Children's mother invites herself into home

[mcwjjm]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

Last night my children's mother came over when I wasn't home. My 13 YO son was watching our 7 and 8 YO at the time. When I returned he tells me she was rummaging through the house looking for their school pictures among other personal items. I emailed her asking her not to come in w/o my consent and she said that since she still gets mail delivered there * that she is a "resident" and can do that. We were never married, she's not on the lease or utility bills, moved out 20 months ago and has established new residence. I'm the custodial parent of our two children and the court papers indicate her new address. I'm not sure what address is on her DL. If I inform my eldest son to deny her entry into our home and if she enters uninvited isn't she trespassing? I will contact our local precinct sargent about this matter.

On another note, she does have some personal items in the basement that I've asked her repeatedly to pick up but she has not, basically using my space as storage. I'm not trying to be a jerk, heck I've let her use my space this long, my concern is being a nice guy I've giving her an excuse to gain access to my home. Stepping inside to get out of the weather is one thing, rummaging through out the house is another. So, she's been put on notice. Can I send her a demand letter giving her 30 days notice to remove her things and if not can I dispose of them w/o legal repercussion? What she has isn't of much value, mostly old clothes.

* She doesn't get all of her mail delivered to our home but yes, ocassionally she might get some junk mail. I suppose I could write "return to sender" or hand it over to her when she drops off the kids. I've asked numerous bill collectors looking for her to have my number removed from their files or mailing list but they don't always comply.

 

[mistoffolees]

Under the circumstances, I would not let her into the house. Tell her she has 30 days to get her stuff or you're throwing it out.

I would also send her a certified letter stating that the next time she comes into your house without your permission that you will be filing a trespassing charge against her since I don't believe a 13 year old can legally invite someone into your home against your wishes.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

Last night my children's mother came over when I wasn't home. My 13 YO son was watching our 7 and 8 YO at the time. When I returned he tells me she was rummaging through the house looking for their school pictures among other personal items. I emailed her asking her not to come in w/o my consent and she said that since she still gets mail delivered there * that she is a "resident" and can do that. We were never married, she's not on the lease or utility bills, moved out 20 months ago and has established new residence. I'm the custodial parent of our two children and the court papers indicate her new address. I'm not sure what address is on her DL. If I inform my eldest son to deny her entry into our home and if she enters uninvited isn't she trespassing? I will contact our local precinct sargent about this matter.

On another note, she does have some personal items in the basement that I've asked her repeatedly to pick up but she has not, basically using my space as storage. I'm not trying to be a jerk, heck I've let her use my space this long, my concern is being a nice guy I've giving her an excuse to gain access to my home. Stepping inside to get out of the weather is one thing, rummaging through out the house is another. So, she's been put on notice. Can I send her a demand letter giving her 30 days notice to remove her things and if not can I dispose of them w/o legal repercussion? What she has isn't of much value, mostly old clothes.

* She doesn't get all of her mail delivered to our home but yes, ocassionally she might get some junk mail. I suppose I could write "return to sender" or hand it over to her when she drops off the kids. I've asked numerous bill collectors looking for her to have my number removed from their files or mailing list but they don't always comply.

Curious...What time was it that the ex came over?

 

[stealth2]

If I inform my eldest son to deny her entry into our home

Do you REALLY want to put your 13yo in this position with his mother?

Speak with an attorney about modifying the order so she can't enter your home.

 

[frylover]

I don't think the 13 year old is HER son, just his. He says "MY 13 year old son was watching OUR 7 and 8 year old" and later says he is the custodial parent of THEIR two children.

Still, that could be an awkward position to put the 13 year old in. It's drama I wouldn't want my 13 year old to have to deal with if it could be avoided.

 

[sometwo]

Does mom have a key? Just curious because when My 12 yr old and 10 yr old are at home they are not allowed to open the door for ANYONE. No family, nothing. My husband and I get in with a key. They are not even allowed to open the door for us.

 

[stealth2]

I don't think the 13 year old is HER son, just his. He says "MY 13 year old son was watching OUR 7 and 8 year old" and later says he is the custodial parent of THEIR two children.

Still, that could be an awkward position to put the 13 year old in. It's drama I wouldn't want my 13 year old to have to deal with if it could be avoided.

Okay - Who cares if it's his son, her son, their son. THE KID IS 13! He should not be put in that position.

 

[mcwjjm]

The 13 YO is not HER son. She came over around 4:30 P.M. unannounced. I agree, it's an uncomfortable position for him to tell her "I'm sorry, Ms. X, but I'm not supposed to let anyone in the house until my dad gets home." She does not have a key. My son wouldn't have opened the door if he couldn't have indentifed who was there but the suggestion of not opening the door for anyone seems like the simpliest solution. Rather than place him in the awkward position of having to call the police should she invite herself in I'll tell her I've instructed my children not to open the door for anyone. Seems reasonable and ATST she doesn't feel like I'm singling her out. I do not want her unescorted in my home and I want her to remove her things but ATST I wish to defuse any tension between us and our children and not complicate the matter any more than necessary.

 

[futuredust]

The 13 YO is not HER son. She came over around 4:30 P.M. unannounced. I agree, it's an uncomfortable position for him to tell her "I'm sorry, Ms. X, but I'm not supposed to let anyone in the house until my dad gets home." She does not have a key. My son wouldn't have opened the door if he couldn't have indentifed who was there but the suggestion of not opening the door for anyone seems like the simpliest solution. Rather than place him in the awkward position of having to call the police should she invite herself in I'll tell her I've instructed my children not to open the door for anyone. Seems reasonable and ATST she doesn't feel like I'm singling her out. I do not want her unescorted in my home and I want her to remove her things but ATST I wish to defuse any tension between us and our children and not complicate the matter any more than necessary.

Mine are 17, 16 and 14. They are not allowed to answer the door when I am not home. I know many parents who have this policy, even with teenagers. It does become a bit more difficult as they get older, but their friends understand my rules and usually don't stop by if my vehicle is not in the drive.

 

[CJane]

Mine are 17, 16 and 14. They are not allowed to answer the door when I am not home. I know many parents who have this policy, even with teenagers. It does become a bit more difficult as they get older, but their friends understand my rules and usually don't stop by if my vehicle is not in the drive.

Yup. My policy with the 13 and 10 year old is "I don't care if it's God knocking on that door. You don't open it unless I've called and told you that God is stopping by and you should let him in.

Anyone who's "supposed" to be in my house has a key and can let themselves in.

 

[frylover]

Yup. My policy with the 13 and 10 year old is "I don't care if it's God knocking on that door. You don't open it unless I've called and told you that God is stopping by and you should let him in.Anyone who's "supposed" to be in my house has a key and can let themselves in.

LOL!!! For some reason this amuses me!

 

[sometwo]

y policy with the 13 and 10 year old is "I don't care if it's God knocking on that door. You don't open it unless I've called and told you that God is stopping by and you should let him in.

Anyone who's "supposed" to be in my house has a key and can let themselves in.

Right it covers all issues. You just never know. I told my kids how do you know for sure its me ?

One time A friend of mine stopped by and my daughter and her daughter are also friends. I came home and they were in the house. I about flipped out. I was like did you let them in ? Luckily they had called their dad and got the okay to let them in so they weren't in trouble. They knew better and had listened and did not let them in until dad had told them to. So then I was proud that it was working

I just don't think putting it on your kid of who to let in and who to not is a good thing. My opinion I would just rather then not open the door at all without me here. I even told them they aren't allowed to let the dog out. When I come home or dad comes home we use a key. It just makes me feel a lot safer that way. No one will be able to push their way in because they door won't be opened. For anyone.

 

[stealth2]

Well.... *I* tell my kids to let in anyone who knocks because a stranger is just a friend we haven't met. Yet. It makes it much more fun and exciting to come home from work to see who all is in my house!

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Well.... *I* tell my kids to let in anyone who knocks because a stranger is just a friend we haven't met. Yet. It makes it much more fun and exciting to come home from work to see who all is in my house!

*shudder* INVASION OF PERSONAL SPACE! BUBBLE INVASION! *danger Will Robinson! Danger!*

 

[CJane]

*shudder* INVASION OF PERSONAL SPACE! BUBBLE INVASION! *danger Will Robinson! Danger!*

Ha! For me too. While stealth is probably right, I suppose I ascribe to the "OR maybe the stranger is an axe murderer we haven't met yet" like of thought.