modification clarification

[LdiJ]

He has no chance - IF MOM DEFENDS HERSELF PROPERLY. I've seen even more 'slam-dunk' cases that were lost due to pro-se litigants messing up. I am pretty confident that an experienced pro se litigant would win (assuming we have all the facts), but that doesn't mean that it can't be lost.

If Mom really insists on doing this without an attorney (how much are your kids worth to you?), then she needs to spend a LOT of time learning rules and procedures and to understand what she can and can't do - and how to refute Dad's arguments. There's a lot of good information here, but she needs to learn the way courtrooms work. In addition to learning all the rules and procedures, she should sit in on some trials in her county to get a feel for it.

Well, I do agree that she really needs to have her ducks in a row if she cannot find a way to get an attorney. And yes, you are right that some pro se litigants have lost cases that they should have won.

However, dad HAS to be pro se too, because no attorney would have allowed him to put such stupid stuff in his motion.

Its also a very good idea for her to go and observe some family law hearings (if its possible in her area).

 

[TheGeekess]

I don't recall your custody status at the present time. If you have sole legal, you could probably make an issue of it, but what's the point?

In any event, the court is not likely to get involved. There is a pretty strong precedent that the court will not interfere with baptism when requested by one parent. Most churches will do it with a single parent's permission.

The silliest thing about the entire issue is saying 'the child wanted it'. IIRC, the child is 9 - hardly an age to be making important life decisions.

Since you stated you have SOME type of legal custody, you could bring this up as an example of ex being unwilling to discuss custodial matters with you and use it to request sole legal. Combined with everything else, it might be a reasonable argument, but not a sure winner by any means.



Mediator is right. If the child IS uncomfortable with both of you being there, that's too bad. You're a chaperone for the school trip and are entitled to do that. Now, if it's during Dad's parenting time and Dad wants to do something, he's free to do that, but doing it because of SM's discomfort isn't going to fly. Do you have a transcript of the mediator's report where Dad said it was because of SM?


I've suggested it before, but you should really have an attorney. You might win this, but then again, you could lose - even when the facts are all in your favor.

Dude, I was baptized in the Baptist Church the week before I turned 9. And it was my choice (though I don't remember if Bro. Larry asked my parents for their consent; intact family and both parents members of the church).

 

[cherylsarah01]

I hear everthing you all are saying believe me. I do need all my ducks in a row and take some time to sit in the courtroom, that is allowed in this county.

I am very aware that I could screw this up and come off sounding like an insecure idiot.

My kids are worth a lot to me and I have nothing of value to sell but I am thinking of what I can do to get an attorney. I'm working on it.

He is pro se also and stepmom was there last time with scars and all and she will be there again I'm sure.

Regarding daughter getting baptized I never said I was going to stop it but it is an example of no co-parenting along with everything else.

The child wanted it, of course she did it was a party in her honor.

He says in his statement that I am jealous of his marriage, I have to laugh for a minute, ok I'm good now.

I am only half way through so there will be more.

I really appreciate the suggestions with notes and seeing how things work at the court house from you guys.

All be back**************...

 

[frylover]

I hear everthing you all are saying believe me. I do need all my ducks in a row and take some time to sit in the courtroom, that is allowed in this county.

I am very aware that I could screw this up and come off sounding like an insecure idiot.

My kids are worth a lot to me and I have nothing of value to sell but I am thinking of what I can do to get an attorney. I'm working on it.

He is pro se also and stepmom was there last time with scars and all and she will be there again I'm sure.

Regarding daughter getting baptized I never said I was going to stop it but it is an example of no co-parenting along with everything else.

The child wanted it, of course she did it was a party in her honor.

He says in his statement that I am jealous of his marriage, I have to laugh for a minute, ok I'm good now.

I am only half way through so there will be more.

I really appreciate the suggestions with notes and seeing how things work at the court house from you guys.

All be back**************...

Sure you are....he sounds like such a KEEPER I bet you lie awake nights wondering why you let him get away!

I really hope dad and stepmom get their rear ends handed to them by the judge.

 

[LdiJ]

I hear everthing you all are saying believe me. I do need all my ducks in a row and take some time to sit in the courtroom, that is allowed in this county.

I am very aware that I could screw this up and come off sounding like an insecure idiot.

My kids are worth a lot to me and I have nothing of value to sell but I am thinking of what I can do to get an attorney. I'm working on it.

He is pro se also and stepmom was there last time with scars and all and she will be there again I'm sure.

Regarding daughter getting baptized I never said I was going to stop it but it is an example of no co-parenting along with everything else.

The child wanted it, of course she did it was a party in her honor.

He says in his statement that I am jealous of his marriage, I have to laugh for a minute, ok I'm good now.

I am only half way through so there will be more.

I really appreciate the suggestions with notes and seeing how things work at the court house from you guys.

All be back**************...

I bet you anything that he didn't write that statement himself. I bet that every word of it was written by stepmom.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

If you land up going pro se, one of the things you can do is ask that potential witnesses to sit outside the court room. Then, list the stepmom as a potential witness. Let her cool her jets OUTSIDE the court room.

 

[Proserpina]

I bet you anything that he didn't write that statement himself. I bet that every word of it was written by stepmom.

I completely, utterly and absolutely agree!!! 100000%.

Not taking that bet. Tooooo easy.

cherylsarah, please do keep updating. I know some of the posts have turned to OT frivolity, but we really do - as a group - care.

(I know we're not supposed to show that but sometimes....)

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Actually from the way I read this situation... its probably step-mom doing the complaint. I have a similar situation. Sounds to me like Stepmonster is doing an awful lot of "that's my decision with Dad", and not allowing YOU to parent YOUR (plural) child. I'd personally tell her to pound sand and tell dad to keep her snoot out of your parenting rights/time.

I bet you anything that he didn't write that statement himself. I bet that every word of it was written by stepmom.

I completely, utterly and absolutely agree!!! 100000%.

Not taking that bet. Tooooo easy.

cherylsarah, please do keep updating. I know some of the posts have turned to OT frivolity, but we really do - as a group - care.

(I know we're not supposed to show that but sometimes....)

Ah, is there a delayed echo here? I said the very same thing back on post #18....

 

[CSO286]

If you land up going pro se, one of the things you can do is ask that potential witnesses to sit outside the court room. Then, list the stepmom as a potential witness. Let her cool her jets OUTSIDE the court room.

OOOOHHHH!!!! I love that one. OP...tht would completely help with your comfort level.


(Though it might be nice if stepmom was in the gallery and then started opening her mouth!!)

 

[liandrajade]

OOOOHHHH!!!! I love that one. OP...tht would completely help with your comfort level.


(Though it might be nice if stepmom was in the gallery and then started opening her mouth!!)

There was some thread on here where the step mom got reamed by the judge and she had to balls to get stupid with the judge. I think she slapped a court officer too!

We thought that one was bad!

 

[Proserpina]

There was some thread on here where the step mom got reamed by the judge and she had to balls to get stupid with the judge. I think she slapped a court officer too!

We thought that one was bad!

Ooooooooooooooooh I remember that one!

 

[mistoffolees]

Dude, I was baptized in the Baptist Church the week before I turned 9. And it was my choice (though I don't remember if Bro. Larry asked my parents for their consent; intact family and both parents members of the church).

That's very nice, but a 9 year old doesn't have the maturity to make life-changing decisions. Invariably, the 9 year old may say it was their choice, they really don't have the ability to consider and weigh all the options.

I was baptized when I was 3 months old. Since I didn't object, does that mean I made the decision to be baptized?

 

[TheGeekess]

That's very nice, but a 9 year old doesn't have the maturity to make life-changing decisions. Invariably, the 9 year old may say it was their choice, they really don't have the ability to consider and weigh all the options.

I was baptized when I was 3 months old. Since I didn't object, does that mean I made the decision to be baptized?

Being Baptized is "life changing"? Hardly. I understood what was going on, what the symbolism meant and the rights and privileges it gave me in the Baptist Church, including attending business meetings if I so desired.

But how and when a church allows its members to be baptized is dogma; your church baptized you without your say. Mine did not.

 

[mistoffolees]

Being Baptized is "life changing"? Hardly.

Really? Gee, I thought that being baptized was a matter of faith that was supposed to affect you for the rest of your life AND for all eternity. If that doesn't count as life changing, I sure as heck can't imagine what would.

I understood what was going on, what the symbolism meant and the rights and privileges it gave me in the Baptist Church, including attending business meetings if I so desired. .

You understood at the level of a 9 year old - hardly what would be considered a mature, adult decision in any legal sense.

 

[cherylsarah01]

The ex should have discussed our daughter being baptized with me.

A little backround info on that. I wanted to get daughter baptized in my religion, father said no. He thought daughter should make that decission when she was 18. I agreed to go with that.

2 years later she is baptized in stepmom's church.

Ex had never stepped foot in a church before he hooked up with stepmom, that I know, and stepmom was the one taking daughter to church not them together, although that's according to daughter so not sure if that really is the case and relavant.

They knew exactley what they were doing. They do things deliberately.

Joint legal custody states that we are to discuss anything that has to do with medical, dental, school and religion and any major life decissions.

It is an example along with many other things about the lack of co-parenting.

Whether a judge will see it that way we will see.....

Another complaint from them, the whole thing is written as them together, is that they are worried there is no adult supervision with my computer and daughter is able to do as she pleases and may get her hands on adult content.

My computer is password protected and kids have to ask to use computer and has parental control as to content set on it and computer is out in the open in the family room for God and everyone to see. Not only do I have 9 year old daughter in the home but I have teenage boys in the home also.