Bugs, gross.

[RemitAdvice]

VA

So I'm just going to go ahead and post being young and dumb and even though I've been a parent for six years, everyday still feels like the first day (sometimes).
Here's my issue:

NCP & I shared joint legal & physical. I'm primary custodian. Increase in visitation to 'shared' time has been recent, 2 months. It's not perfect and miss him like crazy, but we're working it out.

Child has sensitive skin and allergies. Has a touch of eczema here and there. I moisturize like a CRAZY person and double rinse his clothes and sheets and stuff and have the ducts clean and whatnot and we survive. Been this way since day one.

He had come back from dad's one week with a rash that wouldn't go away, no matter the tricks i tried. Kinda looked like eczema, but not really. Went ahead and made a Dr.'s appt. and the diagnosis was Scaebies. So, holy cow. I was really taken aback. At that time my daughter was also with us at the dr.'s office and they shared the same Ped, so he looked her over and no evidence of infestation (gross word, but that's EXACTLY what it is). He advised me to look myself over when I got home. Gave us some cream and a three day dose of oral steroids to help with the inflammation. NCP went with us as it was his visitation day. He pulled some dumb stunts there and afterward with the RX. He was off from work that day (I was not) and said that he would go and pick up the cream and stuff and treat him as the doctor said and would meet me at 8 so he could get a shower and get in the bed.

He didn't pick up the rx and didn't bring him back til 9, but I treated him then and it was AWFUL...((kid had scratched himself raw in placed...and after making him take a hot long shower (as prescribed) then coating him in the medicine (which burned)....even on his FACE...))

Anyway. Rash died down, kid went back to dads, came back with it AGAIN. I treated him AGAIN.

Now, after spending some time at dad's over the weekend, it's back AGAIN.

I've called the dr's office cause I'm out of the cream that they gave. I haven't heard back from them yet. But my concern is all the reading that I've done.

Everything seems to indicate that this is a condition thats caused by slovenliness and poor hygiene. His father has a history of refusing to shower cause he 'doesn't have time' and Memphis has come back dirtier than a hog on more than one occasion.

So I'm wondering if things aren't bad over there and he's getting it from living in filth for days on end. How do I keep him healthy?? What do I do??

I've already talked to dad, who is adamant that he must be getting it from daycare or my house and I SWEAR he's not getting it from our house...is there anyway to have my place tested??? I can't have my boy miserable like this continually.

Suggestions?? CPS? Health Department?? Exterminator????

 

[milspecgirl]

IMHO, if you are SURE that it cant be coming from anywhere else or by any other method- I would call CPS. Conditions that bad (that it would cause recurring cases of scabies) are not livable for a child.

 

[mistoffolees]

IMHO, if you are SURE that it cant be coming from anywhere else or by any other method- I would call CPS. Conditions that bad (that it would cause recurring cases of scabies) are not livable for a child.

Or maybe ask the doctor to call CPS so that Mom doesn't get into a fight with Dad.

 

[CJane]

Scabies isn't caused by "filthiness". No more than people get lice because their heads are dirty.

From Scabies | Home

One of the largest and most susceptible groups is that comprised of infants and small children. In general, children are more likely to have vulnerable immune systems. In addition, they can often be placed in situations where they are in close proximity to others who might be carriers. Children in day care and school classrooms are exposed to any number of “bugs” and scabies is just one of many they might come into contact with.

Until you're POSITIVE that NONE of the children that your child has come into contact with have scabies (especially at daycare), I wouldn't be so quick to assume that it's Dad's fault.

My son's daycare provider keeps a house so clean it makes me feel bad about myself. SPOTLESS. Her kids bathe every single night, and wash their hands before they touch food or the refrigerator, after they go to the bathroom, etc. I've actually rarely seen kids so conscious of hygiene at the same ages.

And yet, 3 of her 4 children ended up with scabies before they figured out what it was and began applying medication. Like lice, sometimes it's harder to get rid of than others, and it's not necessarily a reflection on the household.

How often do YOU wash kiddos bedding? How often do you vacuum his mattress? Did you treat his bedding/mattress/pillows? Did you know that the mites live in mattresses, sofas, etc?

 

[milspecgirl]

does dad have them too?

 

[RemitAdvice]

Or maybe ask the doctor to call CPS so that Mom doesn't get into a fight with Dad.

Okay, have an appt. with the same doc as last time tomorrow a.m. So do I just tell him this?

 

[RemitAdvice]

Scabies isn't caused by "filthiness". No more than people get lice because their heads are dirty.

From Scabies | Home



Until you're POSITIVE that NONE of the children that your child has come into contact with have scabies (especially at daycare), I wouldn't be so quick to assume that it's Dad's fault.

My son's daycare provider keeps a house so clean it makes me feel bad about myself. SPOTLESS. Her kids bathe every single night, and wash their hands before they touch food or the refrigerator, after they go to the bathroom, etc. I've actually rarely seen kids so conscious of hygiene at the same ages.

And yet, 3 of her 4 children ended up with scabies before they figured out what it was and began applying medication. Like lice, sometimes it's harder to get rid of than others, and it's not necessarily a reflection on the household.

How often do YOU wash kiddos bedding? How often do you vacuum his mattress? Did you treat his bedding/mattress/pillows? Did you know that the mites live in mattresses, sofas, etc?

I understand what you're saying. I told them when I first found out and just ask that they check and let me know if any other kid could possibly have it. They reported back no similar rash on anyone else. He goes there 4 days one week and 3 the next, so as communicable as they tell me and I read that it is, wouldn't somebody else have it too?? This is kinda what puzzles me about my daughter and I not having any....anything. (ugh gross)

I do really good about keeping the house clean. I know how important it is. I'm not lazy and I like a clean house. His stuff gets washed every week (or used to) just like everybody else's. I spray his mattress down just like everybody else's. It's gotten to the point that I toss him in the shower the minute he gets in the door from dads and his clothes go immediately in the wash.

I replaced his pillow and removed the few stuffed animals from his room (even though I later read this won't help as they don't like hairy things??)

That's why I want to know if you think I should call an exterminator?? Just in case?? I'll do whatever it takes, this is unacceptable.

 

[RemitAdvice]

does dad have them too?

I don't know and he doesn't seem too concerned about the situation either. Things can be tough between us and I work really hard to facilitate everybody's relationship and really not trying to step on his toes. I did ask about his other kid at home and symptoms and whatnot and he said that she didn't have any. So I don't know.

From what I've read they like kids better because they're mostly hairless. And they like dry areas. On adults they usually infest in between the toes and fingers, where the skin is softest, driest and hairless. Not to be weird but the NCP is pretty hairy...

 

[justalayman]

rather than CPS, you might contact the local health department. Due to the communicability of the little buggers, I suspect a report of scabies would be treated much like a report of lice.

 

[LdiJ]

rather than CPS, you might contact the local health department. Due to the communicability of the little buggers, I suspect a report of scabies would be treated much like a report of lice.

I have never known health departments to have much interest in lice or scabies. Both are simply too common.

Please read the following regarding scabies:

https://health.google.com/health/ref/Scabies

If the child is experiencing increased symptoms after spending time with dad, then either dad is not treating the child, or the child is around someone else who is untreated, or is exposed to untreated bedding, clothing etc.

Scabies, like lice, means that all involved households have to make a concerted effort to get rid of the problem or it will continue, or to have to identify the outside source that is continuing the problem.

I once knew a divorced family that battled the issue for almost a year, each pointing fingers at the other, until it was finally determined that a child who spent considerable time with both households was the source of the consistent re-infestation.

It honestly doesn't matter how "clean" anyone is or anyone's house is. You can be the most clean person in the world but if you don't take an afternoon at the local laundrymat to wash absolutely everything in your home that is washable, in HOT water, you might not irradicate everything in your home that could be causing the problem.

 

[RemitAdvice]

Thanks.

I have read about these infestations extensively and made numerous inquiries into treatment of the affected individual and the household. I have done everything possible to ensure that no one else has become infested. My house is relatively un-upholstered with hardwood floors, tile and no rugs to speak of. The couch cushions have been washed and treated and pillows have been treated and removed from the rooms.

I feel assured that my home is not the origin of the bugs. I honestly think that it's coming from Dad's. He doesn't even see it as a problem and wouldnt go so far to even get his RX and treat him when he was diagnosed the first time. Like he's ignoring the problem. I wonder if he's even bother to tell his wife what Memphis even has! She may not even know and may not be treating the house.

We're going to the doctor today. This will be his 3rd visit for the same thing in as many weeks. How long will this go on before the doctor himself will report to cps???

I'm conflicted. No, this isn't a life-threatening situation and yes, I'm aware that bad parenting isn't against the law...but I don't want him going over there and catching bugs! Come on!!

 

[MichaCA]

I would consider calling the health department anyway. Maybe they can tell you who to call.

My only experience with scabies is I was staying at a retreat, and somehow the place got infected. They had to close down for some time and do an intensive clean up. It was long ago...I don't recall...but just the treatments for the people living there had to take place several times. Just about everything at this place had to be sanitized...no small feat with mattresses, etc. They were closed WEEKS...scabies are VERY contagious.

Someone, maybe more than one place, needs to learn about how to sanitize after scabies and take the necessary steps to get rid of them. My exp. is just a doctor giving the child treatment is not enough. Of course he will keep getting reinfected. I'm suprised you or your other child hasn't gotten them.

Keep looking into it and find out the remedy...I suspect these tenacious guys aren't going away until someone turns their home inside out.