Is it legal for a parent to take away bare necessities from their child?

[utauchama]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
I live in Utah.

I'm not exactly sure what category this would be classified as, but I'm a child, so I put it here..

I'm 15, and in the 10th grade. This term I've ditched around 5 classes, and got only one truancy. MY parents call the school, and throw a huge fit, and have me talk to the vice principal to try and "fix" me. He told me what I already know, that I have to do 4 hours community service. He said I get a warning, and that the next time, I'll have to for every missed class. I left the office with that understanding. For this reason, my parents took away all my makeup, all my friends (to the point where I can't talk to anyone at school even, or my sister will tell them) I can't do anything or go anywhere, I can't play piano when I'm trying to get a music scholarship..., I can't do my hair, and I can't use the internet, read, or eat until dinner.

Today, I had some really personal problems, and I was crying so hard I couldn't go to class. My friends felt bad, and skipped with me trying to console me.

After school I got in the car, and my mom immediately starts yelling at me because my sister told them she saw me with my friends, and that the school called saying I wasn't in school. She reminds me of what I already know that I have to do my 4 hours, and then starts saying that my dad and her are taking all my clothes away, and all my furniture away. Meaning, I won't have a heater. I live in the basement, and it gets around 30 degrees in my room at night without it, I wont have a bed or blankets. How do they expect me to be able to sleep and then go to school with out that? My bookshelf, with all my books for school on it. My dresser with all my clothes in it, my futon I do my homework on, my vanity I use to fix myself in, all my chairs, and my keyboard.

Also, she says shes taking my clothes. I threw a complete fit over this. It was the last straw. She says I'll have to make do with what I'm wearing, which is pajama bottoms, yellow t shirt, underwear, and thats it.

I tried arguing that they should let me deal with the natural consequences, and stop adding more stress to what I'm already dealing with, but they said I'm a kid, and I'm not allowed to choose my consequences, and that I obviously don't care about the school's, so I need more to make me motivated. I would get emancipated over this, but I'm not old enough, because I'd rather have freedom and them not being obligated to take care of me, then no freedom and things I need from them, because I'm not getting what I need.

I guess my question is, my parents already took away my social life, my future career, makeup and hair(hygiene..), is it legal for them to take away bare necessities like a bed, warmth, clothes etc.? What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[HomeGuru]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
I live in Utah.

I'm not exactly sure what category this would be classified as, but I'm a child, so I put it here..

I'm 15, and in the 10th grade. This term I've ditched around 5 classes, and got only one truancy. MY parents call the school, and throw a huge fit, and have me talk to the vice principal to try and "fix" me. He told me what I already know, that I have to do 4 hours community service. He said I get a warning, and that the next time, I'll have to for every missed class. I left the office with that understanding. For this reason, my parents took away all my makeup, all my friends (to the point where I can't talk to anyone at school even, or my sister will tell them) I can't do anything or go anywhere, I can't play piano when I'm trying to get a music scholarship..., I can't do my hair, and I can't use the internet, read, or eat until dinner.

Today, I had some really personal problems, and I was crying so hard I couldn't go to class. My friends felt bad, and skipped with me trying to console me.

After school I got in the car, and my mom immediately starts yelling at me because my sister told them she saw me with my friends, and that the school called saying I wasn't in school. She reminds me of what I already know that I have to do my 4 hours, and then starts saying that my dad and her are taking all my clothes away, and all my furniture away. Meaning, I won't have a heater. I live in the basement, and it gets around 30 degrees in my room at night without it, I wont have a bed or blankets. How do they expect me to be able to sleep and then go to school with out that? My bookshelf, with all my books for school on it. My dresser with all my clothes in it, my futon I do my homework on, my vanity I use to fix myself in, all my chairs, and my keyboard.

Also, she says shes taking my clothes. I threw a complete fit over this. It was the last straw. She says I'll have to make do with what I'm wearing, which is pajama bottoms, yellow t shirt, underwear, and thats it.

I tried arguing that they should let me deal with the natural consequences, and stop adding more stress to what I'm already dealing with, but they said I'm a kid, and I'm not allowed to choose my consequences, and that I obviously don't care about the school's, so I need more to make me motivated. I would get emancipated over this, but I'm not old enough, because I'd rather have freedom and them not being obligated to take care of me, then no freedom and things I need from them, because I'm not getting what I need.

I guess my question is, my parents already took away my social life, my future career, makeup and hair(hygiene..), is it legal for them to take away bare necessities like a bed, warmth, clothes etc.? What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

**A: food, shelter, clothing you have correct?

 

[Zigner]

Sounds like you'd better shape up!

 

[Proserpina]

Ah...prime example of "Kicking out of the Garden of Eden" parenting.


Excellent.

 

[CdwJava]

What you describe is "tough love."

As for emancipation, that AIN'T gonna happen no matter how old you get. Not with this scenario as a back drop.

Typically, you will have the ability to earn some of these privileges back with good behavior. You need to sit down with your parents and have a reasoned and mature conversation about your actions and the consequences of those actions. Then, ask about what YOU need to do to earn things back.

Grades, homework, chores, etc. should all count SLOWLY towards getting things back. Do NOT expect a return of all your clothes and privileges with a week of good behavior. Expect several months of purgatory as a result of your actions.

You write quite well for a 15-year-old, so I would have to guess that you are either intelligent or you had a reasonably educated adult type this post for you. If you are intelligent, look past the emotion and evaluate your actions and their consequences. Consider where you will be in 3 years if you fail to take corrective action now. How will life be without any education and kicked out onto the street with only the clothes on your back?

Think. Grow up. Be contrite, apologetic, and change ... for a better life.

 

[ajkroy]

Yep...when my older one started acting up, I took away anything that had a label on it (think American Eagle) and replaced it with ONE outfit from Wal Mart. Just one. As in, he had to wear it, wash it that night and wear it again the next day.

Now, I have been known to wear clothes from Wal Mart, so I know that he was warm and he was decently dressed. But I think that he would rather have shown up in a pink dress to school than what he was wearing because he starting behaving MUCH better after that.

OP? If you want your stuff back, I suggest you attend ALL of your classes. The time for weighing out the consequences of 4 hours of community service has passed. If you want to look like a normal teen at school, then do your job and attend class like everyone else. You don't get to cut.

 

[Rushia]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
I live in Utah.

I'm not exactly sure what category this would be classified as, but I'm a child, so I put it here..

I'm 15, and in the 10th grade. This term I've ditched around 5 classes, and got only one truancy. MY parents call the school, and throw a huge fit, and have me talk to the vice principal to try and "fix" me. He told me what I already know, that I have to do 4 hours community service. He said I get a warning, and that the next time, I'll have to for every missed class. I left the office with that understanding. For this reason, my parents took away all my makeup, all my friends (to the point where I can't talk to anyone at school even, or my sister will tell them) I can't do anything or go anywhere, I can't play piano when I'm trying to get a music scholarship..., I can't do my hair, and I can't use the internet, read, or eat until dinner.

You parents have every right to take all this away.

Today, I had some really personal problems, and I was crying so hard I couldn't go to class. My friends felt bad, and skipped with me trying to console me.

You need to learn that your "personal problems" can't interfere with what you need to do. It doesn't work that way in the "real" world. If your friends really cared, they would have steered your towards the guidance counselor instead of skipping class with you.

After school I got in the car, and my mom immediately starts yelling at me because my sister told them she saw me with my friends, and that the school called saying I wasn't in school. She reminds me of what I already know that I have to do my 4 hours, and then starts saying that my dad and her are taking all my clothes away, and all my furniture away. Meaning, I won't have a heater. I live in the basement, and it gets around 30 degrees in my room at night without it, I wont have a bed or blankets. How do they expect me to be able to sleep and then go to school with out that? My bookshelf, with all my books for school on it. My dresser with all my clothes in it, my futon I do my homework on, my vanity I use to fix myself in, all my chairs, and my keyboard.

Stack your books on the floor, you don't need a bookshelf. Your clothes can be stacked on the floor too. Do you sleep on the futon? If it's just an extra, you don't need it. Sit on the floor and do your homework. You do not need a vanity. You don't need chairs. You most likely don't need a keyboard either.

Also, she says shes taking my clothes. I threw a complete fit over this. It was the last straw. She says I'll have to make do with what I'm wearing, which is pajama bottoms, yellow t shirt, underwear, and thats it.

That's all you need. Wash them daily.

I tried arguing that they should let me deal with the natural consequences, and stop adding more stress to what I'm already dealing with, but they said I'm a kid, and I'm not allowed to choose my consequences, and that I obviously don't care about the school's, so I need more to make me motivated. I would get emancipated over this, but I'm not old enough, because I'd rather have freedom and them not being obligated to take care of me, then no freedom and things I need from them, because I'm not getting what I need.

You are NOT going to get emancipated over this and your parents are correct. You are a child and you don't get to choose the consequences.

I guess my question is, my parents already took away my social life, my future career, makeup and hair(hygiene..), is it legal for them to take away bare necessities like a bed, warmth, clothes etc.? What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Your parents do not have to allow you to have a social life. No guarantee on that future career. Makeup and Hairspray is NOT hygiene. Soap, Shampoo, shower, toothbrush, toothpaste, maybe a comb is hygiene.

 

[Isis1]

Would you please direct your parents to this site? I feel the need to tell them "YOU ARE AWESOME PARENTS!!!".

 

[Antigone*]

Yes, OP, please have your parents log on. I have a few more ways for them to help you straighten up.

 

[Rushia]

Would you please direct your parents to this site? I feel the need to tell them "YOU ARE AWESOME PARENTS!!!".

Yes, OP, please have your parents log on. I have a few more ways for them to help you straighten up.

Where's the like button?

 

[>Charlotte<]

You obviously have no respect for the authority of your parents and school administrators. You seem to think your restrictions can be overridden by what you consider exceptions to the rules. It's no wonder your parents are taking such drastic measures.

This is a no-brainer. Stop defying their authority. You're creating your own problems.

 

[Antigone*]

Where's the like button?

Oh Rushia, we've asked for years for more emoticons, and failed, no way in haedes are we ever going to get a like button

 

[utauchama]

Thank you for the feedback. I realize now that most of my problem was just me being irrational, and ranting in the moment, and its not as bad as I felt it was. I try, but hey. I'm still just a teenager, I get emotional and stuff..:S

As some of you were saying, I would actually be able to wash and just wear one outfit, that punishment is effective and not completely unreasonable. However, the temperature is extremely low. I don't know how I am going to walk to school in pajamas and a thin t shirt while snow is outside. They're taking all my jackets and blankets, so that's not an option either. I tried negotiating to see if I could have at least some ugly sweater, or anything that'd keep me warm, but they weren't willing to listen.

I acknowledge that I really don't need a lot of what they're taking I just want it, so it should be totally reasonable to use that as punishment, but I don't know how I'm going to be able to walk to school in these conditions, or even sleep for that matter. If it were a few months later, I'd just sleep on the floor and walk to school, accepting my punishment. However because I'm in the basement, without blankets or heat, it can get to the point where I can see my breath.

As for just stacking my things on the floor, they said all their contents would be confiscated as well, no exceptions.

I'm already trying to do things like extra chores and cleaning without being asked, taking care of my siblings, being all around extra nice to everyone, doing as I'm told without push back, etc.. but nothing is working. They told me I could have my things back if I didn't skip any classes during 3rd term.

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you for the feedback. I realize now that most of my problem was just me being irrational, and ranting in the moment, and its not as bad as I felt it was. I try, but hey. I'm still just a teenager, I get emotional and stuff..:S

As some of you were saying, I would actually be able to wash and just wear one outfit, that punishment is effective and not completely unreasonable. However, the temperature is extremely low. I don't know how I am going to walk to school in pajamas and a thin t shirt while snow is outside. They're taking all my jackets and blankets, so that's not an option either. I tried negotiating to see if I could have at least some ugly sweater, or anything that'd keep me warm, but they weren't willing to listen.

I acknowledge that I really don't need a lot of what they're taking I just want it, so it should be totally reasonable to use that as punishment, but I don't know how I'm going to be able to walk to school in these conditions, or even sleep for that matter. If it were a few months later, I'd just sleep on the floor and walk to school, accepting my punishment. However because I'm in the basement, without blankets or heat, it can get to the point where I can see my breath.

As for just stacking my things on the floor, they said all their contents would be confiscated as well, no exceptions.

I'm already trying to do things like extra chores and cleaning without being asked, taking care of my siblings, being all around extra nice to everyone, doing as I'm told without push back, etc.. but nothing is working. They told me I could have my things back if I didn't skip any classes during 3rd term.

...and yet you still have access to the Internet?

Hmmmm.

 

[Isis1]

...and yet you still have access to the Internet?

Hmmmm.

Darnit! You beat me to it! Darn this slow Internet connection!!! Darn it all to heck!!!