POA and Guardianship

[Proserpina]

The legal truth is that Mom can come back during your boyfriend's deployment, and at least request temporary custody.

Should she file a motion to switch custody permanently, he can invoke the SSRCA - but this generally won't prevent her from getting a temporary order.

Her rights trump Dad's POA and Family Care Plan.

With regards to the other stuff..honestly, the child should have been calling you YourName from the get-go, not Mommy.

It's called honesty, and it's pretty important.

 

[jekyl007]

Thank you for the info about the SSRCA.. At first when he was a little over a year old and started to call me mommy, My boyfriend and I tried to correct it.. and would tell him "no its" and use my real name.. but he just kept running around calling me mommy all the time.. I cant force him to call me my real name at 2.. we have tried to get him to call his biological mom, mommy.. but he wouldnt.. if we said "mommy is on the phone for you" he would throw the phone down and run to me.. that is probally because she does not call very often.. I was with his dad before he got full custody of him.. so when he got full custody it did not start out as "this is your new mommy" or anything like that.. nobody is lying to him.. I just can not force a 2 year old to understand who is who and why my kids call me mommy and he cant.. nor do I want him to think that he is loved any less or unwanted growing up because I kept pushing the issue of him to use my real name.. he did not start calling me mommy from day one.. that is something he started doing on his own after we had him for about 6 months.. now if anyone has any ideas how to make a 2 year old do something other than what they want to do then please tell me lol

 

[TheGeekess]

The legal truth is that Mom can come back during your boyfriend's deployment, and at least request temporary custody.

Should she file a motion to switch custody permanently, he can invoke the SSRCA - but this generally won't prevent her from getting a temporary order.

Her rights trump Dad's POA and Family Care Plan.

With regards to the other stuff..honestly, the child should have been calling you YourName from the get-go, not Mommy.

It's called honesty, and it's pretty important.

Stepmother after father passing
My stepmother represented herself to me as a mother for 25 years until my father passed away. Two weeks after he passed, she invited me to lunch and told me that we never had a relationship and she did not want to have anthing to do with me. Not only did I lose my father, but an entire family that had been together for 25 years. This has caused me severe confusion, hurt and depression. I can't sleep or concentrate on much else and my work has been affected. Even leaving my house has become a chore. I have started therapy to try and work through this, but it just keeps getting worse. Is there anything I can do to hold her accountable for this?

https://forum.freeadvice.com/civil-litigation-46/stepmother-after-father-passing-538999.html

 

[jekyl007]

well that is because the lady told her she didnt want anything to do with her after her father died.. I would never do that to any child.. much less one that I raised or helped raise.. in that regard then yes it could cause someone harm.. but in the regard of say my dad raising my brother and sister as his because their bio father didnt want anything to do with them.. they are both adults now, grew up calling my dad, "daddy".. and to this day even in their 30's they are greatful to have had him as theirs.. how come society looks at a step-father being called dad, a good thing for the child.. but a step-mother being called mommy a bad thing? if something was to happen to me or if I didnt have my children because I lost them to their bio father, I would be greatful for a woman stepping up and being a real parent to my children if I couldnt be one.. it wouldnt make me feel replaced. it would make me feel greatful that my children had someone else to love them and treat them as their own.. but I guess I am one in a few in that aspect lol

 

[Silverplum]

well that is because the lady told her she didnt want anything to do with her after her father died.. I would never do that to any child.. much less one that I raised or helped raise.. in that regard then yes it could cause someone harm.. but in the regard of say my dad raising my brother and sister as his because their bio father didnt want anything to do with them.. they are both adults now, grew up calling my dad, "daddy".. and to this day even in their 30's they are greatful to have had him as theirs.. how come society looks at a step-father being called dad, a good thing for the child.. but a step-mother being called mommy a bad thing? if something was to happen to me or if I didnt have my children because I lost them to their bio father, I would be greatful for a woman stepping up and being a real parent to my children if I couldnt be one.. it wouldnt make me feel replaced. it would make me feel greatful that my children had someone else to love them and treat them as their own.. but I guess I am one in a few in that aspect lol

Legal board.

Everything else is blather.

 

[Monte86]

I am 100% for a child not calling another person mom/dad in most cases. If tomorrow my ex died, ran off etc--my fiance would NEVER be mom, ever. But my daughter KNOWS who her mom is.
BUT if my ex had not been around from day 1, I would have handled things differently. My daughter would have always known who her mom was, pictures, stories etc. But if she did chose to call my fiance/wife mom, thats different. Keep in mind this would be if ex was dead or out of the picture.
It sounds like they have told the child she is NOT mom (could be wrong but thats how I'm reading it) Not telling the child, "Call her mom". The child is choosing to call her mom. And the fact mom has hardly been involved at all.
Thats just IMO.

 

[jekyl007]

yes Monte.. exactly.. you were reading it correclty.. thanks

 

[Proserpina]

well that is because the lady told her she didnt want anything to do with her after her father died.. I would never do that to any child.. much less one that I raised or helped raise.. in that regard then yes it could cause someone harm.. but in the regard of say my dad raising my brother and sister as his because their bio father didnt want anything to do with them.. they are both adults now, grew up calling my dad, "daddy".. and to this day even in their 30's they are greatful to have had him as theirs.. how come society looks at a step-father being called dad, a good thing for the child.. but a step-mother being called mommy a bad thing? if something was to happen to me or if I didnt have my children because I lost them to their bio father, I would be greatful for a woman stepping up and being a real parent to my children if I couldnt be one.. it wouldnt make me feel replaced. it would make me feel greatful that my children had someone else to love them and treat them as their own.. but I guess I am one in a few in that aspect lol

A 2 year old can comprehend her Mom telling her she doesn't want anything to do with her...but cannot comprehend that ThisLady's name is ThisLady?

Really? Bye bye, credibility

Seriously - let's not turn this into a stepparent issue. Many who have responded ARE STEPPARENTS.

We just know our place

 

[jekyl007]

where was a 2 year old told her mom didnt want nothing to do with her? the lady in the post that was made was a lady that after 25 years was told that by her step-mother.. she was an adult not a child.. I do not know of any 2 year old who is going to comprehend that a mother who has nothing to do with him is his mommy and a lady who has raised him is "just a name".. so I do not see any credibilty here gone.. but I do however appreciate those who gave me legal accurate information without turning it into a big "omg he calls you mommy" thing.. thanks a lot and I appreciate letting me know that the Guardianship is useless if she tries to file for custody for him..

 

[Silverplum]

where was a 2 year old told her mom didnt want nothing to do with her? the lady in the post that was made was a lady that after 25 years was told that by her step-mother.. she was an adult not a child.. I do not know of any 2 year old who is going to comprehend that a mother who has nothing to do with him is his mommy and a lady who has raised him is "just a name".. so I do not see any credibilty here gone.. but I do however appreciate those who gave me legal accurate information without turning it into a big "omg he calls you mommy" thing.. thanks a lot and I appreciate letting me know that the Guardianship is useless if she tries to file for custody for him..

What you do not see could fill a fleet of trucks.

 

[Proserpina]

Yes, you're right - I miss-referenced two different posts and I apologize for that.

No, guardianship is not pointless or useless. It's VERY important. The issues becomes an issue if Mom decides to become involved.

However, I've read over the thread again and I missed something. So, I'm going to correct my earlier post.

Because there is already a custody order in place, Mom will have an uphill battle changing the status quo while Dad is deployed.

Had there been no custody order in place, that is when Mom could have - literally - swooped up and obtained at least a temp order with few, if any, problems.

There is a difference!

So - it's not all bad news.

 

[jekyl007]

Yes, you're right - I miss-referenced two different posts and I apologize for that.

No, guardianship is not pointless or useless. It's VERY important. The issues becomes an issue if Mom decides to become involved.

However, I've read over the thread again and I missed something. So, I'm going to correct my earlier post.

Because there is already a custody order in place, Mom will have an uphill battle changing the status quo while Dad is deployed.

Had there been no custody order in place, that is when Mom could have - literally - swooped up and obtained at least a temp order with few, if any, problems.

There is a difference!

So - it's not all bad news.

oh ok thanks.. I see what you are saying.. at first you didnt see that he had full custody agreement with her having no visitations or anything at this time.. so because of that then she cant just come and take him while he is overseas.. and no problem on the misreading.. I understand how that is.. The way the custody order is written out is that she has not legal rights to him without filing again through the court.. since then the court allowed us to move to another state without notifying the biological mom.. and now before he deploys we have to move again.. so now I have to check into NC laws.. and from what I have read, it is a best interest of the child state and there was just a new law passed there that keeps soldiers safe from the non custodial parents being able to just come and take the child away.. atleast that is what I had been told.. still trying to see if I can find that "law" myself lol.. but I appreciate you re-reading the post and seeing what you had missed before and then letting me know that the guardianship is not completely useless.. that just made me so happy to hear that.. I would hate for him to lose his 2 year old son because the military sent him overseas.. Thanks again!

 

[Proserpina]

oh ok thanks.. I see what you are saying.. at first you didnt see that he had full custody agreement with her having no visitations or anything at this time.. so because of that then she cant just come and take him while he is overseas.. and no problem on the misreading.. I understand how that is.. The way the custody order is written out is that she has not legal rights to him without filing again through the court.. since then the court allowed us to move to another state without notifying the biological mom.. and now before he deploys we have to move again.. so now I have to check into NC laws.. and from what I have read, it is a best interest of the child state and there was just a new law passed there that keeps soldiers safe from the non custodial parents being able to just come and take the child away.. atleast that is what I had been told.. still trying to see if I can find that "law" myself lol.. but I appreciate you re-reading the post and seeing what you had missed before and then letting me know that the guardianship is not completely useless.. that just made me so happy to hear that.. I would hate for him to lose his 2 year old son because the military sent him overseas.. Thanks again!

It's actually the SSCRA - Soldier's and Sailor's Civil Relief Act - which offers the most protection against custody and other civil matters from being decided in a deployed military person's absence.

That Dad would need to invoke as soon as he (or you) is served with ANYTHING at all.

Dad needs to make sure his POA and FCP are ALL up to date and filed correctly.

And thank him for his service

(Hopefully Mom will eventually come around and want to be a positive part of her child's life - that would be the best possible long term out come in this situation. Win/win!)

 

[jekyl007]

yes everything is up to date with the POA and FCP.. the papers were just all filled out and taken care of a couple of months ago.. and I will make sure that it is invoked if she tries to file anything.. I also wish she would be a part of his life.. I have tried over and over to get her to be in his life.. but everytime we have her calling again she then disappears again for months and months at a time.. I will thank him for you for his service.. Again thanks for re-reading and admitting you had overlooked something.. much respect to you

 

[ecmst12]

The best thing to do would be for dad to ASK mom if she would like the child to stay with her while he is away.

If she says no, then your bases are covered.

If she says yes, then you can deal with it now, BEFORE he is overseas and stuff hits the fan.