POA and Guardianship

[sometwo]

besides anyone with a 2 year old knows that you cant make them understand at that age..

hmmmm


I used barbies to explain to my 2 yr old stepson

ETA: he is now 13

 

[jekyl007]

The best thing to do would be for dad to ASK mom if she would like the child to stay with her while he is away.

If she says no, then your bases are covered.

If she says yes, then you can deal with it now, BEFORE he is overseas and stuff hits the fan.

The only issue with that is that until she files for her visitation and stuff back she doesnt have any.. the reason the judge took him away from her was because she was not following the custody order and giving him back every 2 weeks for dad to see him.. they were on a 2 week rotation.. so that is where my boyfriends concerns lay with giving him to her

 

[ecmst12]

That doesn't mean she doesn't have rights, including the right to parent her child when dad cannot. He should be giving her the option. She is a better choice to care for her child while dad is away then you.

 

[Proserpina]

That doesn't mean she doesn't have rights, including the right to parent her child when dad cannot. He should be giving her the option. She is a better choice to care for her child while dad is away then you.

ecm, I respectfully disagree a bit.

I DO agree that Mom has the absolute right to parent her child.

However - if she's not around, and hasn't been around (which appears to be the case), it might be more traumatic to take the child from the only home and stability the child has ever known, even if Mom is Mom.

This case, to me, isn't the usual situation where the other parent is actually a part of the child's life. This is a situation where the other parent simply hasn't been present.

She hasn't seen the child in almost 2 years, and the child is only 2.

 

[ecmst12]

That is a point, but apparently she still calls and has some presence. I just think it will be a lot easier to resolve the issue before dad leaves, so there won't be any surprise nastiness while he is gone. It's the right thing to do in the spirit of coparenting.

 

[mistoffolees]

ecm, I respectfully disagree a bit.

I DO agree that Mom has the absolute right to parent her child.

However - if she's not around, and hasn't been around (which appears to be the case), it might be more traumatic to take the child from the only home and stability the child has ever known, even if Mom is Mom.

This case, to me, isn't the usual situation where the other parent is actually a part of the child's life. This is a situation where the other parent simply hasn't been present.

She hasn't seen the child in almost 2 years, and the child is only 2.

I agree with your point to some extent, but OTOH, some parents grow up and turn into great parents - even when they're not part of the child's life early on.

We also don't know why Mom has not been part of the child's life. Could be death threats, health reasons, or any number of other reasons.

 

[stealth2]

how come society looks at a step-father being called dad, a good thing for the child.. but a step-mother being called mommy a bad thing?

No one HERE sees it that way. Spend a little time reading, and you will see that stepfathers are spanked for this as often as are stepmothers. As are girl/boyfriends.

What your POA gives you is the ability to take the kid to the doctor and make decisions on his Dad's behalf during his absence. If he were older, enroll him in school. Again, on his Dad's behalf. It does NOT remove Mom's rights as a parent.

 

[LdiJ]

No one HERE sees it that way. Spend a little time reading, and you will see that stepfathers are spanked for this as often as are stepmothers. As are girl/boyfriends.

What your POA gives you is the ability to take the kid to the doctor and make decisions on his Dad's behalf during his absence. If he were older, enroll him in school. Again, on his Dad's behalf. It does NOT remove Mom's rights as a parent.

I will also add that a military POA does not actually confer guardianship, which the OP seems to assume it does.

 

[jekyl007]

The guardianship papers are seperate from the POA papers.. I also have judge signed guardianship papers through JAG.. but after re-reading them tonight I do see at the bottom in small little print where it says the non-custodial parent can file for visitation/or custody if they want to.. And the reason she isnt in his life much is because she chooses not to be.. I have 2 years of emails of me and his dad trying to get her to contact and be part of his life.. Usually it takes us about 2 months to find her.. and then another 3 to 4 months to get her to contact him.. The mother has moved (and this is no exageration) 8 times in 2 years.. have lost her other 2 kids on more than one occassion.. been physically abusive to her boyfriend in front of the kids, and she actually posts all this on her facebook all the time.. which we copy and paste to keep records of.. that is why it concerns me of him going back to her when at this moment she is clearly not a stable enviroment for him.. however, I do try to help them keep contact but she always stops contact after a day to a week everytime in the last almost 2 years.. It will be 2 years in May since dad has had full custody of him..

 

[stealth2]

IT DOESN'T MATTER! She has the right to file for temporary custody. Why is that so difficult for you to understand?

 

[jekyl007]

IT DOESN'T MATTER! She has the right to file for temporary custody. Why is that so difficult for you to understand?

I have already stated that I know she can.. why are you being so rude? the other stuff was answering someone elses questions about the mom.. so if you actually take the time to look back you will see where me and Proserpina have already stated that she can.. but that it would also not be an easy thing for her to do.. which is the info I was looking for.. so no reason to get all rude and nasty