New Update

[novemberbride]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Got the judge's decision back...

No change in custody/visitation. Dad is NOT ALLOWED to file anything in the court unless he has substantial proof that our daughter's healt/safety and welfare is in danger with me. The judge says he gave no weight to dad's testimony, and will not make any future orders based on dad's testimony alone.

Judge wrote a new order stating that I will remain the permanent primary custodian, and our daughter will attend kindergarden where I reside. He also states at this time new visitation orders for dad will be made.


So, in a year or so I will have to file a new OSC because daughter will be attending kindergarden.

Thanks everyone for all the helpful adivce over the last year or so that I've come to this forum.

 

[gr8rn]

Glad to hear this Novemberbride. Your ex is a looney tunes. I hope things quiet down for you for a long while.

 

[novemberbride]

Glad to hear this Novemberbride. Your ex is a looney tunes. I hope things quiet down for you for a long while.

Thanks gr8rn

Knowing dad he's probably already filing something. Two years ago he was ordered to not file anything for one year, but he couldn't resist. He ended up being sanctioned $1000 by the courts.

My attorney says "People always act in accordance with their character" and there isn't anyone who proves that better than my ex.

 

[Mom_of_Two]

I am glad it worked out ...the posts about your ex really freak me out! He is something else. I am surprised they didn't make him have a psych evaluation.

 

[novemberbride]

I am glad it worked out ...the posts about your ex really freak me out! He is something else. I am surprised they didn't make him have a psych evaluation.

I'm a little surprised too, but you never know how court is going to go. I'm just glad this is behind me now, although I know it's not the end of dad's nonsense.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Got the judge's decision back...

No change in custody/visitation. Dad is NOT ALLOWED to file anything in the court unless he has substantial proof that our daughter's healt/safety and welfare is in danger with me. The judge says he gave no weight to dad's testimony, and will not make any future orders based on dad's testimony alone.

Judge wrote a new order stating that I will remain the permanent primary custodian, and our daughter will attend kindergarden where I reside. He also states at this time new visitation orders for dad will be made.


So, in a year or so I will have to file a new OSC because daughter will be attending kindergarden.

Thanks everyone for all the helpful adivce over the last year or so that I've come to this forum.

Congratulations. It's nice to see that things worked out for you.

It's also nice to see someone appreciate the efforts put in by all the volunteers without going off the handle and telling us that we're all a bunch of hateful frustrated women.

 

[CSO286]

Congratulations. It's nice to see that things worked out for you.

It's also nice to see someone appreciate the efforts put in by all the volunteers without going off the handle and telling us that we're all a bunch of hateful frustrated women.

oh, misto, you know they just mean you....

 

[novemberbride]

Congratulations. It's nice to see that things worked out for you.

It's also nice to see someone appreciate the efforts put in by all the volunteers without going off the handle and telling us that we're all a bunch of hateful frustrated women.

LOL!

In my experience, on this forum, it's not the volunteers who are the hateful frustrated women.

I wish the poster's who get all bent out of shape because a volunteer tries to help them by giving them useful advice would come back and tell everyone how court went. I love to see a post that says "Judge gave me sole/physical custody because my ex got remarried and had a new baby, lives in an apartment, works two jobs, and let's my son text his gf at the dinner and watch scary movies..yeah, the judge totally seen it my way."

This forum has saved me from running into mediation crying about issues that really aren't issues. I only wish I found ya'll years ago...

 

[ecmst12]

Honestly I hope your ex gets some help, but he probably won't.

 

[novemberbride]

Honestly I hope your ex gets some help, but he probably won't.

Oh man, I can't count how many different people have told him to get help. When our daughter was 2 weeks old, he broke into my garage and attempted to gain entry into my house to serve me with his very first petition for sole/physical custody. I got a restraining order, and when we went to court for it, that judge told him to get help. His response to the judge "You need help".

He filed complaint after complaint against our mediator because he was ordered to supervised visits, and counceling. That was when our daughter was about 5 months old....He still won't let that go....He's trying to sue that mediator for "violating his rights".

It's never him, it's everyone else. Anyone who doesn't do what he wants them to do, he sues. That includes people who suggest to him that he's irrational and delusional.

I wish he'd get help, but I've known him long enough that he won't. He'll just keep on keepin on with his crusade.

 

[Mom_of_Two]

Oh man, I can't count how many different people have told him to get help. When our daughter was 2 weeks old, he broke into my garage and attempted to gain entry into my house to serve me with his very first petition for sole/physical custody. I got a restraining order, and when we went to court for it, that judge told him to get help. His response to the judge "You need help".

He filed complaint after complaint against our mediator because he was ordered to supervised visits, and counceling. That was when our daughter was about 5 months old....He still won't let that go....He's trying to sue that mediator for "violating his rights".

It's never him, it's everyone else. Anyone who doesn't do what he wants them to do, he sues. That includes people who suggest to him that he's irrational and delusional.

I wish he'd get help, but I've known him long enough that he won't. He'll just keep on keepin on with his crusade.

Are you sure you aren't talking about my ex?! We had two judges, a mediator, and a police officer tell my ex to get help. It's actually in our court orders for custody that he attends therapy. In turn, my ex has sued his attorney, and has threatened to sue my attorney, as well. Needless to say, he hasn't done his ordered therapy because the world is wrong and he is right about everything. So, I feel you Novemberbride! It's hard not to feel crazy when there's a crazy person that you have to deal with!

 

[novemberbride]

Are you sure you aren't talking about my ex?! We had two judges, a mediator, and a police officer tell my ex to get help. It's actually in our court orders for custody that he attends therapy. In turn, my ex has sued his attorney, and has threatened to sue my attorney, as well. Needless to say, he hasn't done his ordered therapy because the world is wrong and he is right about everything. So, I feel you Novemberbride! It's hard not to feel crazy when there's a crazy person that you have to deal with![/QUOTE

That is so true.

But, I've learned to not meet dad's craziness with craziness. Man, he hates when I don't argue with him.

 

[Mom_of_Two]

Are you sure you aren't talking about my ex?! We had two judges, a mediator, and a police officer tell my ex to get help. It's actually in our court orders for custody that he attends therapy. In turn, my ex has sued his attorney, and has threatened to sue my attorney, as well. Needless to say, he hasn't done his ordered therapy because the world is wrong and he is right about everything. So, I feel you Novemberbride! It's hard not to feel crazy when there's a crazy person that you have to deal with![/QUOTE

That is so true.

But, I've learned to not meet dad's craziness with craziness. Man, he hates when I don't argue with him.

That is so true! I constantly have to use what I learned from my psych degree with my ex. Seems like you are handling it well...that's awesome!

 

[ecmst12]

It's part of his disease, it's really pretty sad. Mostly for your poor kiddo who doesn't get to have a daddy that lives in the same reality as everyone else. But at least she has you

 

[novemberbride]

I feel for her too...

I know she absolutley loves her dad. Thats the most amazing thing about kids...they love us no matter what. I know there will come a time when she is older and she recognizes that dad's reality isn't real reality...I just hope dad gets some help before then, for our daughters sake. One thing I can say for certainty is that she has not once ever heard me freak out on dad, or call him names.

I remember when I was about 8 years old, I realized my biological mom wasn't all that right. I knew she had a drinking problem, and mental issues...but I loved her regardless. Unfortunatley, her problems made it impossible to parent....and she had lot's of problems. When I was 11 my dad got full custody of me, and my mom had EOW visitation. She never excersized her visitation once.....because she was way too bitter. Couldn't believe the judge gave my dad full custody, and took it out on me. Sad....she went 7 years before seeing me at my high school graduation. The whole time, nothing was her fault....everyone else was to blame and had the problem.

It's ironic how similar my ex, and my biological mom are. I only refer to her as bio mom because I have since been adopted by my step mom.

I guess you can say I have almost thirty years experience dealing with irrational and unreasonable people.