novemberbride
Member
New Issues
So, I thought after our custody trial in January, things would calm down. They haven't, and have actually gotten so much worse.
I took a lot of the advice I got from the volunteers here and sought a restraining order against my ex. Judge granted a TRO. Dad evaded service, so a new hearing date was scheduled. I was finally able to get dad served. He violates the TRO a few hours after being served with it. He accused me of doing "nasty" things to our daughter, making her sick. Then told me he was going to "own me" and said "You're in for it now". I reported it, and the violation has been forwarded to the county DA.
Since then, he's violated two more times on two occasions where I seen him following me.
Two Friday's ago, I dropped off our daughter with him for his visitation. I continued into a neighboring town, 20 miles away for a doctor's appointment. While getting out of my car, I see dad's car drive by. Wife was driving, dad in the passenger seat, and both kids in the back seat (our 4 year old, and her infant half sister). They parked at the end of the parking lot. I went in for my appointment and came back out 20 minutes later. They were gone, but as I was exiting the parking lot, they were parked near the exit in a different parking space. As I left, they left and followed me back onto the highway. After a while, they turned onto a new highway in the direction of their house.
During phone conversations with our daughter, Dad grills her on where I go throughout the day. Last Saturday, I left for approximatley 2 hours to attend an event I volunteer at every year for the last 15 years. That night, when Dad called to talk to daughter, he asks her "where did mommy go today." Daughter says she doesn't know. Dad says "I seen Mommy leave today, where did she go?". Daughter says again "I don't know". Dad gets irate, and accuses daughter of lying for me. He then tells her that she is always supposed to tell him where I go, and who I leave her with. Daughter started to cry, so I had her end the conversation.
On Monday, Dad calls to talk to daughter. He asks her "who's cat is Mommy feeding in your backyard". Daughter says "that's our kitty...she found us when we moved here". She tells her dad about the cat and so on....then tells her dad that she's done talking. He gets irate, and tells her she needs to stay on the phone until he's done talking to her. He then asks her if I went anywhere that day. Daughter says "I don't know". Dad get's mad, and starts telling her that she is supposed to tell him everytime I leave. Daughter tells dad she's done talking, and ends the conversation.
On Tuesday, Dad calls to talk to daughter. Daughter tells dad about her day at school. Dad interrupts her and asks her if I went anywhere that day. She says "I don't know". He then asks her "who was that lady who came to Mommy's house today". Daughter beams, and says "That was Leila". (an old coworker of mine). Dad tells daughter that "mommy isn't allowed to have strangers around her". Daughter tells dad that Leila isn't a stranger. She tells her dad that she's done talking and wants to end the conversation. He gets irate and tells her that she has to stay on the phone. She starts to cry, so I have her end the conversation.
Thursday, he calls to talk to daughter. She talks for a few minutes about her day, then she starts to cry. I was in the other room, so I walk into her room. She says to her dad "But I don't want Mommy to die". By that time she is sobbing and saying "No Daddy!". I grab the phone and hang up on him. She's still crying, and I ask her why she is so upset. She says that her dad told her I was going to die, and she needed to come live with him. I tell her that I'm not going to die. She says "No, daddy says you're going to get killed". I hug her and reassure her that I'm not going to die, and maybe she misunderstood what dad meant. I didn't know what to say or what to do....I was shocked.
On Friday, he followed me to a gas station and demanded that I hand over daughter. He was accusing me of buying drugs at the gas station and going on and on about me being a shady b. I didn't want there to be a scene, so let daughter go with her dad because it was only a half hour early.
I'm at a loss now, my restraining order seems to be useless. From the phone conversations between dad and daughter, I believe he has been following me and watching my house. Our orders are specific when it comes to interregating our child about the other parent. I just don't know if I should pursue filing contempt or not. There are others areas where dad has violated our court order, but I didn't want to be nit picky. The phone conversations are concerning me now.....and I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid of my ex, and I'm afraid seeking help from the courts is only going to make him snap.
So, I thought after our custody trial in January, things would calm down. They haven't, and have actually gotten so much worse.
I took a lot of the advice I got from the volunteers here and sought a restraining order against my ex. Judge granted a TRO. Dad evaded service, so a new hearing date was scheduled. I was finally able to get dad served. He violates the TRO a few hours after being served with it. He accused me of doing "nasty" things to our daughter, making her sick. Then told me he was going to "own me" and said "You're in for it now". I reported it, and the violation has been forwarded to the county DA.
Since then, he's violated two more times on two occasions where I seen him following me.
Two Friday's ago, I dropped off our daughter with him for his visitation. I continued into a neighboring town, 20 miles away for a doctor's appointment. While getting out of my car, I see dad's car drive by. Wife was driving, dad in the passenger seat, and both kids in the back seat (our 4 year old, and her infant half sister). They parked at the end of the parking lot. I went in for my appointment and came back out 20 minutes later. They were gone, but as I was exiting the parking lot, they were parked near the exit in a different parking space. As I left, they left and followed me back onto the highway. After a while, they turned onto a new highway in the direction of their house.
During phone conversations with our daughter, Dad grills her on where I go throughout the day. Last Saturday, I left for approximatley 2 hours to attend an event I volunteer at every year for the last 15 years. That night, when Dad called to talk to daughter, he asks her "where did mommy go today." Daughter says she doesn't know. Dad says "I seen Mommy leave today, where did she go?". Daughter says again "I don't know". Dad gets irate, and accuses daughter of lying for me. He then tells her that she is always supposed to tell him where I go, and who I leave her with. Daughter started to cry, so I had her end the conversation.
On Monday, Dad calls to talk to daughter. He asks her "who's cat is Mommy feeding in your backyard". Daughter says "that's our kitty...she found us when we moved here". She tells her dad about the cat and so on....then tells her dad that she's done talking. He gets irate, and tells her she needs to stay on the phone until he's done talking to her. He then asks her if I went anywhere that day. Daughter says "I don't know". Dad get's mad, and starts telling her that she is supposed to tell him everytime I leave. Daughter tells dad she's done talking, and ends the conversation.
On Tuesday, Dad calls to talk to daughter. Daughter tells dad about her day at school. Dad interrupts her and asks her if I went anywhere that day. She says "I don't know". He then asks her "who was that lady who came to Mommy's house today". Daughter beams, and says "That was Leila". (an old coworker of mine). Dad tells daughter that "mommy isn't allowed to have strangers around her". Daughter tells dad that Leila isn't a stranger. She tells her dad that she's done talking and wants to end the conversation. He gets irate and tells her that she has to stay on the phone. She starts to cry, so I have her end the conversation.
Thursday, he calls to talk to daughter. She talks for a few minutes about her day, then she starts to cry. I was in the other room, so I walk into her room. She says to her dad "But I don't want Mommy to die". By that time she is sobbing and saying "No Daddy!". I grab the phone and hang up on him. She's still crying, and I ask her why she is so upset. She says that her dad told her I was going to die, and she needed to come live with him. I tell her that I'm not going to die. She says "No, daddy says you're going to get killed". I hug her and reassure her that I'm not going to die, and maybe she misunderstood what dad meant. I didn't know what to say or what to do....I was shocked.
On Friday, he followed me to a gas station and demanded that I hand over daughter. He was accusing me of buying drugs at the gas station and going on and on about me being a shady b. I didn't want there to be a scene, so let daughter go with her dad because it was only a half hour early.
I'm at a loss now, my restraining order seems to be useless. From the phone conversations between dad and daughter, I believe he has been following me and watching my house. Our orders are specific when it comes to interregating our child about the other parent. I just don't know if I should pursue filing contempt or not. There are others areas where dad has violated our court order, but I didn't want to be nit picky. The phone conversations are concerning me now.....and I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid of my ex, and I'm afraid seeking help from the courts is only going to make him snap.
