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Custody Modification

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kia1987

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA
I currently have a custodial agreement with my ex for my child. The agreement is 50/50 shared physical and legal custody. In the beginning it seemed like this would be the fairest agreement for us and my child. However, she is going to be starting school soon and he has not followed the agreement like he should. There are many occasions where he will leave her with a babysitter at night to go out when he should have her. I have right of refusal. He does not call me or let me know that he is not going to be with her. The other night I called and asked if I could have her because it was a relatives birthday. He said no it's my night and Im going to have her. Okay that is fine I said. Turns out he was not home that night and went out. I do have proof of this. He often will leave my child with a sitter or his parents while he goes out when he should have her. What are the chances of me getting our agreement changed to 50/50 legal custody and me getting my child Mon-Fri everyweek overnight with visitation two nights of the week from 4-7:30 and everyother weekend. On the weekends he does not have her I would even not have a problem letting him have her 4:30-7 on that monday.
 


Silverplum

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA
I currently have a custodial agreement with my ex for my child. The agreement is 50/50 shared physical and legal custody. In the beginning it seemed like this would be the fairest agreement for us and my child. However, she is going to be starting school soon and he has not followed the agreement like he should. There are many occasions where he will leave her with a babysitter at night to go out when he should have her. I have right of refusal. He does not call me or let me know that he is not going to be with her.
Your legal remedy is to file for contempt of court, not a change of custody.

You don't start with the nuclear option. You begin with a tap on the wrist.

kia1987 said:
The other night I called and asked if I could have her because it was a relatives birthday. He said no it's my night and Im going to have her. Okay that is fine I said. Turns out he was not home that night and went out. I do have proof of this. He often will leave my child with a sitter or his parents while he goes out when he should have her. What are the chances of me getting our agreement changed to 50/50 legal custody and me getting my child Mon-Fri everyweek overnight with visitation two nights of the week from 4-7:30 and everyother weekend. On the weekends he does not have her I would even not have a problem letting him have her 4:30-7 on that monday.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Your legal remedy is to file for contempt of court, not a change of custody.
However, before doing that, let's find out if he IS in contempt.

OP, what does the court order say (word for word, but without the names) about right of first refusal. Dig out the order and copy that section down verbatim.

He may NOT be in in contempt.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
However, before doing that, let's find out if he IS in contempt.

OP, what does the court order say (word for word, but without the names) about right of first refusal. Dig out the order and copy that section down verbatim.

He may NOT be in in contempt.
True and good, Misto!
 

CSO286

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA
I currently have a custodial agreement with my ex for my child. The agreement is 50/50 shared physical and legal custody. In the beginning it seemed like this would be the fairest agreement for us and my child. However, she is going to be starting school soon and he has not followed the agreement like he should. There are many occasions where he will leave her with a babysitter at night to go out when he should have her. I have right of refusal. He does not call me or let me know that he is not going to be with her. The other night I called and asked if I could have her because it was a relatives birthday. He said no it's my night and Im going to have her. Okay that is fine I said. Turns out he was not home that night and went out. I do have proof of this. He often will leave my child with a sitter or his parents while he goes out when he should have her. What are the chances of me getting our agreement changed to 50/50 legal custody and me getting my child Mon-Fri everyweek overnight with visitation two nights of the week from 4-7:30 and everyother weekend. On the weekends he does not have her I would even not have a problem letting him have her 4:30-7 on that monday.

Do you have a Right of First Refusal (ROFR) in your court order? Honestly, if you don't Dad is completely within his rights to hire a sitter and go out. Without one, you cannot pitch a fit if Dad chooses not to spend everyminute of his allotted time with the child.

And frankly if Dad has the child and on his time wants child to spend time with the extended family, that's well and good--unless the extended family are human traffickers or child beating, puppy boiling drug smugglers.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Do you have a Right of First Refusal (ROFR) in your court order? Honestly, if you don't Dad is completely within his rights to hire a sitter and go out. Without one, you cannot pitch a fit if Dad chooses not to spend everyminute of his allotted time with the child.

And frankly if Dad has the child and on his time wants child to spend time with the extended family, that's well and good--unless the extended family are human traffickers or child beating, puppy boiling drug smugglers.
She said that she had an ROFR, she just didn't spell out the details of the ROFR.
 

kia1987

Junior Member
Yep, I just saw that...Thanks.

OP....What does your court order say--word for word (minus names) about the ROFR?
e.Childcare. The parties agree to allow one another the first opportunity to have the children if he or she is unable to care for the children during their scheduled time.

This is exactly how it is stated.
 

kia1987

Junior Member
If she deleted a thread, her post count would be one. When you delete a thread, your post count diminishes.
At first I did accidently put this post under child support as when you go to add a new post they are right beside eachother. So I took it out of there and put it here.
 
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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
At first I did accidently put this post under child support as when you go to add a new post they are right beside eachother. So I took it out of there and put it here.
Is this exactly what you had posted there? Because i am thinking you changed the wording and what you stated in this thread.
 

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