Yes my daughter is 4 she goes to bed between 9 and 10. I am going to start putting her to bed earlier because shes is starting school. So that is 3 hours that my child will be spending with me. To me that in priceless. I do not think that his parents should have a right to have her all the time just because it was his time to have her. This is the issue. I stated that as one instance when I said he went out from 6-4am. What about him not getting up until 12pm and having his mom care for her? Is that okay just becuase hes laying in bed in the same house. I do not see how it is okay for him to just to be in the same house and have his mother care for her when he is there. I know this is the case because my daughter tells me who dresses her and gives her baths and stuff. If he is not going to care for her, I think me being the mother should be doing it. My daughter told me the other day she wishes she could be with me all the time. And as for me being told to grow up. I do not think that is childish to want to spend a few more hours with my child. I was young and pushed into a agreement with him. I did not know that I could ask for anything else. Now I see how it is affecting my daughter and I am looking to make things better for her. All I did when I came on here was ask for some advice on the information I gave. Not to be told to grow up or that I was being petty.
You are being petty.
- You should not be discussing custody issues with a child. A 4 year old is not in a position to decide who she should stay with.
- You are free to want more time with the child. So is your husband. That's why you have court orders. "I do not think it is childish to want to spend a few more hours with my child". No, it's not. But acting on that wish probably is when there's no more basis than your desire to have more time.
- "I was pushed into an agreement". Unless someone held a gun to your head, this is silly. You made an agreement - now stick to it.
- You're objecting to him sleeping while the child is in the house and his mother cares for the child. I assume that you sleep while the child is in your house, too - and I'll bet you even do so when there's not another adult there. People are allowed to sleep - and no court in the country is going to set sleep hours for Dad.
- Going to bed at 9-10 pm is a terrible bed time for a 4 year old. That's at least 2 hours too late. So would you like Dad coming after you for being unfit because you keep your child up late?
You already got good advice and you're not happy because people aren't scurrying around telling you how evil Dad is and how you should have the child all the time. You have no grounds for that. What you COULD do is file for a clarification of the right of first refusal which sets some time period - if either parent is not going to be able to care for the child for a certain period of time, they have to let the other parent have the option of watching the child. Keep in mind that this goes both ways - you would have to offer Dad the chance to watch the child if you are busy, too.
