Jurisdiction question

[Rosmom1999]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? GA We live in Georgia and while my son was on a high school trip to NJ, he pulled a stupid high school prank on a teacher - no one was hurt, just embarrassed.. This type of prank is a common occurrence between high school boys at the school he attends which is why the guys wear belts, don't wear loose fitting shorts and tightly tie the strings on their sweatpants.

While I am not trying to justify the reasons why my son did what he did (it was wrong and completely uncalled for and he has been punished accordingly by the school), I feel that the teacher has some responsibility on his shoulders.. The teacher is young (3 - 4 yrs out of college) and has blurred many lines between teacher/friend with many of the high school students - playing on-line PSP games with them, friending them on Facebook, playing poker with the kids rather than with adult chaperons on other trips. etc... Basically acting as one of their buddies. In fact, his profile pic on FB shows him posing with 4 sophomore girls who were on the trip as well. This teacher has had many pranks played on him in the past 3 years by other students because they consider him to be one of the guys and yet he cannot seem to understand why he is not respected as a teacher.

The question I have concerns possible retaliation from the teacher if I go to administration about his interaction with these students. Once again, I am not trying to retaliate - This is a train wreck waiting to happen and I want to prevent something more serious from happening in the future while at the same time not punishing my son further. All I want to do is let the teacher know that he cannot blur the lines like this - for his protection as well as for that of the students.

So given the history, I need to know if..
the teacher can file charges in GA and have my 16 year old son arrested for something that occurred in NJ? Or if he wanted to, can he file charges in NJ and have my son arrested in GA? I am a little confused about the jurisdiction issues.


Thanks.

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? GA We live in Georgia and while my son was on a high school trip to NJ, he pulled a stupid high school prank on a teacher - no one was hurt, just embarrassed.. This type of prank is a common occurrence between high school boys at the school he attends which is why the guys wear belts, don't wear loose fitting shorts and tightly tie the strings on their sweatpants.

While I am not trying to justify the reasons why my son did what he did (it was wrong and completely uncalled for and he has been punished accordingly by the school), I feel that the teacher has some responsibility on his shoulders.. The teacher is young (3 - 4 yrs out of college) and has blurred many lines between teacher/friend with many of the high school students - playing on-line PSP games with them, friending them on Facebook, playing poker with the kids rather than with adult chaperons on other trips. etc... Basically acting as one of their buddies. In fact, his profile pic on FB shows him posing with 4 sophomore girls who were on the trip as well. This teacher has had many pranks played on him in the past 3 years by other students because they consider him to be one of the guys and yet he cannot seem to understand why he is not respected as a teacher.

The question I have concerns possible retaliation from the teacher if I go to administration about his interaction with these students. Once again, I am not trying to retaliate - This is a train wreck waiting to happen and I want to prevent something more serious from happening in the future while at the same time not punishing my son further. All I want to do is let the teacher know that he cannot blur the lines like this - for his protection as well as for that of the students.

So given the history, I need to know if..
the teacher can file charges in GA and have my 16 year old son arrested for something that occurred in NJ? Or if he wanted to, can he file charges in NJ and have my son arrested in GA? I am a little confused about the jurisdiction issues.


Thanks.

I don't see this teacher blurring or crossing any lines. My daughter has a couple of teachers as her FB friends.

The only thing I see is that your son behaved inappropriately.

So what did your son do?

 

[Zigner]

So, in ALL of that, you want your son to come away with the conclusion that it's the VICTIM'S fault? Really?

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? GA We live in Georgia and while my son was on a high school trip to NJ, he pulled a stupid high school prank on a teacher - no one was hurt, just embarrassed.. This type of prank is a common occurrence between high school boys at the school he attends which is why the guys wear belts, don't wear loose fitting shorts and tightly tie the strings on their sweatpants.

Thanks.

Sounds like Junior "pantsed" the teacher.

 

[Rosmom1999]

Antigone of Greece - my son "pantzed" the teacher... And while there are teachers who are friends with students on FB, I am not sure how many of these teachers stay up at night playing Call of Duty or other such PSP games with their students. Another example could be the time the teacher played football in a hotel lobby with the students using an orange.

And Zigner - no.. I don't want my son to come away with this as the victim. He did the act and has to pay the price - believe me, he is paying the price! If you read my post, you would see that this teacher has had many pranks played on him by other students - including much more dangerous ones. Pranks that students would not pull on someone they considered an authoritative figure. Other parents have also commented on this (prior to this trip) but no one has approached him about it. I am truly concerned that something far more serious is going to happen and want to let him know what he is doing since he does not appear to be aware of it. But at the same time, I am not going to ruin my kid's future because of a stupid prank.

 

[Zigner]

In case you forgot what you said:

...I feel that the teacher has some responsibility on his shoulders...

 

[CSO286]

And why aren't you teaching you son the boundaries you wish were in place? Certainly educators do have sone responsibility, but its the parents job to create, set and enforce those boundaries. That is why we are called parents.

My daughter has several friends whose parents tell her it's ok to call them "Jane" and "Jim," but I've instructed my child that adults get addressed as Mrs. Doe or Mr. Smith.....And my boundaries override the more permissive ones, regardless of what is "considered" ok.

 

[mistoffolees]

But at the same time, I am not going to ruin my kid's future because of a stupid prank.

You said:
"The question I have concerns possible retaliation from the teacher if I go to administration about his interaction with these students. "


The solution is simple - do not do that. Keep your nose out of it. You agree that your son was at fault and was punished for it. The teacher has done nothing wrong AT ALL. There's nothing wrong with a teacher being friendly with students or playing Call of Duty with them. NOTHING AT ALL.

So don't stir up trouble and the entire incident will fade away.

 

[CSO286]

Antigone of Greece - my son "pantzed" the teacher... And while there are teachers who are friends with students on FB, I am not sure how many of these teachers stay up at night playing Call of Duty or other such PSP games with their students. Another example could be the time the teacher played football in a hotel lobby with the students using an orange.

And Zigner - no.. I don't want my son to come away with this as the victim. He did the act and has to pay the price - believe me, he is paying the price! If you read my post, you would see that this teacher has had many pranks played on him by other students - including much more dangerous ones. Pranks that students would not pull on someone they considered an authoritative figure. Other parents have also commented on this (prior to this trip) but no one has approached him about it. I am truly concerned that something far more serious is going to happen and want to let him know what he is doing since he does not appear to be aware of it. But at the same time, I am not going to ruin my kid's future because of a stupid prank.

Pantsing a teacher--is a little bit more than a "Stupid prank."

It's gross disrepect, regardless of the relationship the teacher has with the students--trying to be a friend, etc.


How is Junior "paying the price"? Suspension? Detention?
Honestly that could have been considered assault or sexual harassment. Junior is quite lucky the teacher didn't see fit to press charges.

 

[Antigone*]

Antigone of Greece - my son "pantzed" the teacher... And while there are teachers who are friends with students on FB, I am not sure how many of these teachers stay up at night playing Call of Duty or other such PSP games with their students. Another example could be the time the teacher played football in a hotel lobby with the students using an orange.

And Zigner - no.. I don't want my son to come away with this as the victim. He did the act and has to pay the price - believe me, he is paying the price! If you read my post, you would see that this teacher has had many pranks played on him by other students - including much more dangerous ones. Pranks that students would not pull on someone they considered an authoritative figure. Other parents have also commented on this (prior to this trip) but no one has approached him about it. I am truly concerned that something far more serious is going to happen and want to let him know what he is doing since he does not appear to be aware of it. But at the same time, I am not going to ruin my kid's future because of a stupid prank.

Mom, you need to get a grip. You are trying everything to make this about anyone and everyone but your son.

This is about your son and no one else. Unless this teacher is abusing your son he has done nothing wrong. There is nothing wrong with a teacher playing video games or football with an orange in the hotel lobby with their kids. In fact I wish there were more kids who would be as involved with their kids as this teacher is.

You are behaving in a manner that is evidence of why your son is misbehaving as he has. Obviously he has learned well from mommy.

 

[tranquility]

While the prank should be punished, I agree with the OP the boundary lines have blurred. Giving respect to the adult/teacher is not because a badge was given by state credentialing authorities, it comes from repeated interactions. The badge is only good for the first day or two, after that it must be earned.

Kids need parents, not parents who are their friends. Same with teachers. While there are certainly some kids so unaware of proper behavior that this would happen no matter the teacher's actions, why is no one getting the sense that the OP's kid thought it would be OK because the teacher is a friend and not an authority figure?

The teacher should be reported to the administration or should have a talk with the parent. While there may not be behavior that is inappropriate as yet, sometimes there are bad teachers too. If you were the administrator of a school, what would you do if a parent came to you with this story?

What I'd do is counsel the teacher that his interactions were blurring the line and it is sure to catch up with him some day. Even if nothing ever happens which is "wrong" or illegal, teachers being buddies with students bodes ill. Ill not only for the student, but also for the teacher. One time alone with one student who gets angry later and the teacher will end up sitting with his head in his hands wishing things had been handled differently.

 

[Zigner]

Giving respect to the adult/teacher is not because a badge was given by state credentialing authorities, it comes from repeated interactions.

Tranq -

Don't you mean "Having respect for..."? Giving respect TO the person IS based on their position.

 

[mistoffolees]

While the prank should be punished, I agree with the OP the boundary lines have blurred. Giving respect to the adult/teacher is not because a badge was given by state credentialing authorities, it comes from repeated interactions. The badge is only good for the first day or two, after that it must be earned.

Kids need parents, not parents who are their friends. Same with teachers. While there are certainly some kids so unaware of proper behavior that this would happen no matter the teacher's actions, why is no one getting the sense that the OP's kid thought it would be OK because the teacher is a friend and not an authority figure?

The teacher should be reported to the administration or should have a talk with the parent. While there may not be behavior that is inappropriate as yet, sometimes there are bad teachers too. If you were the administrator of a school, what would you do if a parent came to you with this story?

What I'd do is counsel the teacher that his interactions were blurring the line and it is sure to catch up with him some day. Even if nothing ever happens which is "wrong" or illegal, teachers being buddies with students bodes ill. Ill not only for the student, but also for the teacher. One time alone with one student who gets angry later and the teacher will end up sitting with his head in his hands wishing things had been handled differently.

I think this is way over the top. Reporting a teacher to the authorities because he's friendly with the students? He plays Call of Duty with the students? Assuming that the teacher is doing bad things simply because he's trying to establish rapport with the students?

I think that's WAY off base.


Now, if OP had a good relationship with the teacher and could do it in a non-adversarial way (which doesn't seem likely, given the tenor of the post), then it might be appropriate to have a talk with the teacher and say "your behavior could be misinterpreted and you might want to assess whether you're sending an appropriate message with appropriate boundaries". But I don't see any way that OP is going to be able to do that without attacking.

And no way does it justify reporting the teacher to the authorities.

 

[Antigone*]

I think this is way over the top. Reporting a teacher to the authorities because he's friendly with the students? He plays Call of Duty with the students? Assuming that the teacher is doing bad things simply because he's trying to establish rapport with the students?

I think that's WAY off base.


Now, if OP had a good relationship with the teacher and could do it in a non-adversarial way (which doesn't seem likely, given the tenor of the post), then it might be appropriate to have a talk with the teacher and say "your behavior could be misinterpreted and you might want to assess whether you're sending an appropriate message with appropriate boundaries". But I don't see any way that OP is going to be able to do that without attacking.

And no way does it justify reporting the teacher to the authorities.

Wholeheartely Agree!!!

 

[tranquility]

Teacher is having extra-curricular communications with students on a regular basis. Not all students, just some. They're playing games over the internet and, to the less game oriented, that means verbal communication as well. (You put on headphones and talk as you play.) "Friend"ing on Facebook, including the posting of pictures with students. Again, not all, just some. Teacher, rather than being with the other adults, payed poker with students on a field trip.

This teacher has a problem with respect. Wonder why?

A quick internet search will show many have a problem with actions such as this. Many school districts are creating rules against the facebook communications between teachers and students along with IM (including the gaming issue) and other rules against fraternization.

I am not a blue nose, nor do I think schools are wonderful and enlightened. This is not merely a sexual coercion problem where we worry about the teacher molesting his students, this is an effectiveness problem and a problem where the teacher puts himself at risk legally and in his career. Students lose faith when some are special and others are not in the teacher play group. This is not good for class morale and will certainly begin gossip about the teacher. All he needs is to start thinking casually about student relationships and interactions and a mistake or two and the students own him.

In the hope to be liked, this teacher is not doing a good job. He needs to step back and hold a more professional demeanor. The best parent is not their kids best friend, the best manager is not the workers' best buddy, the best coach does not hang out with his players, the best teacher keeps a respectable distance. Has that distance been breached here? We only know what the OP has written. I've coached high school sports for many years. (Not currently.) There is no way on God's green earth I would be so familiar with my players they felt it appropriate to pants me. I loved them and they, at least outwardly, loved and respected me. I am (and was) an effective coach. I think the teacher is doing himself and his students a disservice. (And, that is without any nefarious intent on the part of the teacher.)