Grounds for Sexual Harassment Charge?

[Skal]

Michigan

Alright, well, here's the scoop. I'm a 21 year old male that works at a local gas station in my town. As the weather has been getting warmer more and more kids from the local middle and high school have been coming into my station to buy things and such. Well, one particular group of Middle Schoolers I've made friends with and hang out with on a daily basis. The youngest of the group is a 14 year old female. Now over the past few weeks I've been spending my free time with these kids, driving them around town and such and just generally having fun with them. Today I took the 14 year old and a few of her friends to another friend's house in the next town over, a 10 minute drive. Not a problem. Well, it eventually comes to my attention after we get over there that they younger, the 14 year old, had lied to her parents about where she currently was. They thought she was at a track meet when she really wasn't. Well, they had till 8:30pm when they had to be home, but I had to leave around 6pm to get home and get ready for church. They told me that they would just get their friend to drop them off at home. The smart thing to do would have been to say no and just take them home, but of course not, I let them do what they wanted and went on my way. Well, around 10:20pm tonight I got a call from the 14 year old's mom. She flat out threatened to press sexual harassment charges against me because I had been "seeing my daughter behind my back", as she put it.

Now, I'm not an idiot, I know full well that doing anything questionable, including a hug could get me charged if I'm not careful, so I explained my situation to her. I told her that it was my understanding that she knew where her daughter was that night, and on top of that I had left hours before her daughter had arrived home. I told her that I grew up in a Christian family, went to a Christian High School, and actively attend a Baptist church. I told her that I hang out with kids around that age on a regular basis at my church, asking her "Ma'am, are you saying that I shouldn't hang out with those kids at my church then?". She paused for a moment and replied "Well, you shouldn't be."

Now I can understand where she is coming from. She's just protecting her child in the only way she knows how. She apparently thinks that I'm 18 because that's how old her daughter told her I was. So, now I have this crazy mom that knows what I drive and where I work threatening to press charges against me. Should I really be worried? I have a much different set of morals than the kids that she is used to dealing with, so I've done nothing with her daughter, not even a hug. So again, should I be worried and what should I do?

 

[cyjeff]

What in the seven hells are you doing driving around children without the express prior consent of their parents... preferably in writing and in triplicate?

Save the "I go to church so that means I wouldn't do anything" excuse. There is no reason for a 21 year old adult to be driving children around. NONE.

If this were my daughter I would be calling the police this very minute to get you charged with corruption of a child. I would follow that up with a tasty restraining order to keep you the hell away from my child.

Which will cost you your job.

Very few adults want to hang around with children and drive them places. You should consider seeking help.

 

[Skal]

First off, I suggest you take a look at your signature and consider that before posting replies.

Second, its no big deal to me to drive around kids. I do it all the time for church, and as far as i knew this was all ok with her parents, which I found out that she had lied to me about.

 

[Proserpina]

First off, I suggest you take a look at your signature and consider that before posting replies.

Second, its no big deal to me to drive around kids. I do it all the time for church, and as far as i knew this was all ok with her parents, which I found out that she had lied to me about.

..yet you didn't bother to check with the parents?

Isn't that what a responsible adult would do first?

 

[Skal]

Yea, that is, of course then there's me, the overly trusting idiot that apparently doesn't think because he grew up in a totally different world.

Either way, im asking if this is grounds for the charge or not. The mother can't prove that anything was done and its her word against mine and my family's as well as several others, so do I really have anything to worry about?

 

[cyjeff]

First off, I suggest you take a look at your signature and consider that before posting replies.

I suggest you take a look at your situation before you drive around the countryside with children.

Second, its no big deal to me to drive around kids. I do it all the time for church, and as far as i knew this was all ok with her parents, which I found out that she had lied to me about.

That is simply a stupid statement.

It is a HUGE deal for you, a 21 year old unrelated adult, to drive someone else's children around without parental permission.

Never mind. You came here so that we would all say, "Oh, because you go to church on a regular basis, it should be okay for you to be alone in a car with someone else's 14 year old daughter. Further, with God on your side, of COURSE you weren't up to anything sexual. Maybe the parents are at fault here for not identifying you as the obvious non-pedophile you must be.. because of your church going and all."

You do realize, of course, that the priests arrested for molestation also went to church every week, right? I am not saying you are a molester... I am saying that going to church doesn't necessarily mean it is outside the realm of possibility.

A grown man does not hang out for long periods of time with 14 year old girls. He just doesn't. He also doesn't drive them around and take them places where he doesn't have a single clue as to whether or not the children's parents are allowing that travel.

it was YOUR job as the responsible adult to contact the parents and get permission. You didn't want to do that, though... after all, they would just think you are some creepy adult that wanted to spend time with their children.

Why have you never before met the parents of these children you spend so much time with?

Lastly, have you even considered the liability you are assuming? What if you got into an accident? What if the girl was going somewhere to drink or do drugs?

 

[cyjeff]

Yea, that is, of course then there's me, the overly trusting idiot that apparently doesn't think because he grew up in a totally different world.

Either way, im asking if this is grounds for the charge or not. The mother can't prove that anything was done and its her word against mine and my family's as well as several others, so do I really have anything to worry about?

Absolutely there is grounds for the charge.

You are in the presence of minors without the permission of that minor's parent or legal guardian.

This "different world" crap is simply an excuse for what you knew was wrong. If you didn't think it was wrong, you would have talked to the parents before you started your little day care delivery service.

 

[Skal]

I guess I should put it this way. I know that there are grounds, but, the charges sure won't go very far if nothing can be proved.

A, I was not alone with her. There were four others with us, all hers and my friends.

B, I am not using my religious background as an excuse to say that I shouldn't be charged, I'm using it as a form of defense. Whether or not it would be considered I don't care. "Every little bit helps" you know?

C, I have talked to her parents before, just the other day actually. Apparently, they thought I was someone else because that was what their daughter had told them. Again, this I did not know about.

D, I was never asked by them why I was driving their daughter and her friends around so naturally I assumed that everything was Ok.

Now, can you please reply in a manner which does not make you appear to have less intelligence than you actually have?

 

[Proserpina]

Now, can you please reply in a manner which does not make you appear to have less intelligence than you actually have?

What's with your attitude? Pay an attorney to listen to you whine.

We're volunteers here.

 

[>Charlotte<]

There really doesn't need to be "grounds" for "the charge". If the mother complains to the police that you had some sort of sexual contact with her daughter, she might not get very far with that. However, the next logical step is for her to initiate a restraining order to keep you the hell away from her daughter, and there are definitely "grounds" for that. I don't think having a public record of being legally restrained from seeing a 14 year old girl is going to work out very well for you. People are going to use their imaginations, and I doubt "he must have been counseling them as a church representative" is going to be the first thing they think of.

Make some friends your own age. You're a man. These are children. Your "hanging out" with them is totally inappropriate.

 

[Skal]

What's with your attitude? Pay an attorney to listen to you whine.

We're volunteers here.

attitude? really? Try putting yourself in my shoes and tell me you're calm. There is no attitude here. Granted he is giving advice, but in a very rude way.

Volunteers? Good thing. I wouldn't pay for the service I've gotten so far. What happened to discussing things in a civilized manner?

 

[cyjeff]

I guess I should put it this way. I know that there are grounds, but, the charges sure won't go very far if nothing can be proved.

How difficult will it be to prove that you were in the presence of these children without parental consent?

A, I was not alone with her. There were four others with us, all hers and my friends.

How many were children? How many of the children's parents gave you permission?

B, I am not using my religious background as an excuse to say that I shouldn't be charged, I'm using it as a form of defense. Whether or not it would be considered I don't care. "Every little bit helps" you know?

Doesn't help you here at all. You seem to think it gives your actions the automatic seal of approval.

All a parent sees is a grown man taking his/her child around town without permission.

If this were my daughter, I would have already called the cops and your boss. Your boss should know, after all, that his store is being used to solicit children.

C, I have talked to her parents before, just the other day actually. Apparently, they thought I was someone else because that was what their daughter had told them. Again, this I did not know about.

Okay, I am not going to play your game.

When you said, "is it okay if I drive your daughter here?" what did they say?

When you talked to her parents in the past, what was the circumstance? Did they know the amount of time you spend with their child?

D, I was never asked by them why I was driving their daughter and her friends around so naturally I assumed that everything was Ok.

Again, it was your responsibility as the adult to actually ASK rather than assume things about someone else's children.

Now, can you please reply in a manner which does not make you appear to have less intelligence than you actually have?

You are facing corruption of a minor charge and I am the less intelligent person?

Me, I think you are a pedophile working up a little girl. You will deny it and say you go to church.

Neither I nor the parents nor the court will believe a damn word.

Enjoy court.

 

[Skal]

There really doesn't need to be "grounds" for "the charge". If the mother complains to the police that you had some sort of sexual contact with her daughter, she might not get very far with that. However, the next logical step is for her to initiate a restraining order to keep you the hell away from her daughter, and there are definitely "grounds" for that. I don't think having a public record of being legally restrained from seeing a 14 year old girl is going to work out very well for you. People are going to use their imaginations, and I doubt "he must have been counseling them as a church representative" is going to be the first thing they think of.

Make some friends your own age. You're a man. These are children. Your "hanging out" with them is totally inappropriate.

First off, thank you for a civilized answer. Looking at it in the way that you put it makes more sense. Not knowing my background no, that would not be the first thing coming to their minds, despite its truth. I guess im behind in what's considered "appropriate" now and what isn't.

 

[cyjeff]

attitude? really? Try putting yourself in my shoes and tell me you're calm. There is no attitude here. Granted he is giving advice, but in a very rude way.

Volunteers? Good thing. I wouldn't pay for the service I've gotten so far. What happened to discussing things in a civilized manner?

You shouldn't be calm. You should be shaking in your boots.

 

[cyjeff]

First off, thank you for a civilized answer. Looking at it in the way that you put it makes more sense. Not knowing my background no, that would not be the first thing coming to their minds, despite its truth. I guess im behind in what's considered "appropriate" now and what isn't.

First you use the church angle and when that doesn't get any traction you are going to try to use the "you do things differently here in the big city" angle?

We aren't here so that you can keep trotting out excuses until you find one that you think will work in court.

Judges are smarter than that. So are we.