Can exwife legally prevent new girlfriend from seeing children?

[sweetenigma]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Nevada

I have a question for you guys!

I am going through a divorce right now. We are doing joint custody with my exwife as the primary caregiver. She is moving 200 miles away, and I will only see my child every 2 weeks or once per month as my work permits.

Here is my issue. My exwife hates my new girlfriend (surprise?). My ex keeps threatening me that she is going to put it in the custody agreement that my new girlfriend will not be allowed around our child.

My child is 5 years old, and my new girlfriend is an elementary school teacher. She has a clean record and has never made any threats towards my ex or our child. I'm just wondering what legal grounds my ex has to stand on? Any advice is much appreciated! Thank you.

 

[cyjeff]

Your wife cannot prevent you doing anything.

The judge, however, can.

It is not uncommon for a judge to not allow, say, unmarried overnight guests of the opposite gender.

Very rarely will a judge bar the parents from moving on with their lives.

I will say it won't help your case to already have a girlfriend while still married.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Nevada

I have a question for you guys!

I am going through a divorce right now. We are doing joint custody with my exwife as the primary caregiver. She is moving 200 miles away, and I will only see my child every 2 weeks or once per month as my work permits.

Here is my issue. My exwife hates my new girlfriend (surprise?). My ex keeps threatening me that she is going to put it in the custody agreement that my new girlfriend will not be allowed around our child.

My child is 5 years old, and my new girlfriend is an elementary school teacher. She has a clean record and has never made any threats towards my ex or our child. I'm just wondering what legal grounds my ex has to stand on? Any advice is much appreciated! Thank you.

Dad, its a serious mistake to be involved with someone new, before you are divorced from your actual spouse (and she is not your ex wife until your divorce is final). Its even more foolish to be dating while divorcing and to have the new girlfriend around your child. All that does is increase the divorce hostility exponentially.

There are states where its possible for your wife to get that kind of order. I don't recall NV being one of them, but a consult with a local attorney (even if you don't hire one) would be the best way to find out for certain.

 

[sweetenigma]

more information

A little more information before you all go pointing fingers....

My wife cheated on me and then left me for a family member, her other child's uncle (yes, her ex's brother). She is currently engaged to this person... they have a public relationship all over facebook, which all of our friends and family see. My child is around this person who she cheated on me with....

So is it really wrong for me to have moved on and started to date a wonderful young lady, who happens to be a teacher? My wife has already taken my daughter on many dates with her new "fiance".. they've gone to the zoo, and he even sleeps in our old bed now in the house I still pay for. They are even moving in together this September.

I am just wondering what my rights are... so no need to point fingers here when you don't know the whole story.

 

[LillianX]

I know it sounded like finger pointing to you, but it wasn't. It was the legal reality. Just as she can, and IS, using your indiscretions against you, you have the same options available regarding hers.

 

[LdiJ]

A little more information before you all go pointing fingers....

My wife cheated on me and then left me for a family member, her other child's uncle (yes, her ex's brother). She is currently engaged to this person... they have a public relationship all over facebook, which all of our friends and family see. My child is around this person who she cheated on me with....

So is it really wrong for me to have moved on and started to date a wonderful young lady, who happens to be a teacher? My wife has already taken my daughter on many dates with her new "fiance".. they've gone to the zoo, and he even sleeps in our old bed now in the house I still pay for. They are even moving in together this September.

I am just wondering what my rights are... so no need to point fingers here when you don't know the whole story.

I don't actually "blame" you for moving on at all...particularly under the circumstances. But that doesn't change the legal reality. Obviously, mom can't get a no new significant other around the child without it applying to her as well, so her threats are a bluff.

However dad, please stop harping on the fact that your girlfriend is a teacher and her new boyfriend is a former inlaw. Its simply not relevant legally.

However, you might possibly have had some "high road" to work with if you had kept your relationship totally discrete and away from your children until after the divorce was final. That opportunity, you have lost.

Once again, mom cannot get your girlfriend banned without getting her boyfriend banned...so that is a bluff on mom's part.

 

[CJane]

I will point out that while it seems like a logical argument to say "She's doing it too!", it really isn't.

This isn't about tit for tat with the ex - or rather, it shouldn't be.

You should be doing what's right for your child when your child is with you. It's not healthy FOR YOUR CHILD to have parents that are so set on one upping the other, or shoving new people into her life. It just isn't.

You've BOTH made crappy parenting choices regarding your significant others and the time they're spending with your kids. Totally.

 

[Antigone*]

Heck if your ex is adamant to have a condition in the order make sure it goes both ways. If you cannot have a significant other around the child then neither can she. She may re-evaluate her position.

OP are you okay with your child moving so far away?

 

[sweetenigma]

a reply

Thank you for your responses. Here are a few of my own.

CJ Jane: You are snappy to judge my parenting skills. For one, my wife abandoned me for her "boyfriend", and then I started dating. Secondly, my daughter has met my girlfriend two times in the last 5 months... both times at a public park, and I exhibited no displays of affection or vice versa with my girlfriend. My girlfriend just sort of observed my child playing with me, I wanted them to meet in a very casual setting. I posted this post because AFTER my divorce is final, I do plan on living with my girlfriend, but I don't want any hang ups with my daughter being able to come over to my house. Again, don't just assume you know every detail and be so eager to judge people.

Antigone of Greece: I'm not happy my daughter will be moving far away, but I work in a remote area of the country, and I work crazy hours. My wife has hated it here since we moved here, so I wouldn't expect her to stay when she hates it so bad.

To everyone else, I mentioned my girlfriend being a teacher because my wife keeps threatening that she is out to prove to the judge that my girlfriend is a "bad person" for dating a married man and a danger to my daughter. I know it is ridiculous, but I'm worried that I will get screwed somehow and not be able to see my daughter, which is why I posted this post to begin with.

Thank you all for your feedback, I'm not trying to be defensive. Just not looking for a moral lashing.. but rather legit advice about the legal matter at hand. I'm not that "typical" guy who left his wife for a younger woman and is now parading around with her.. I'm 29... been married for 2 years, and my wife cheated on me and left me.. and now is threatening me every chance she gets. I just want to get some feedback before my next meeting with my lawyer.

 

[LillianX]

Honestly, if the two of you can't communicate without it turning into a horrible experience, you should refuse to speak about anything not directly related to the children, and direct her straight to your attorney for everything else. Simply "Speak to my attorney" and hang up. Same for you. If it's not about the children, don't talk to her, have your attorney speak to hers for all matters relating to the divorce.

 

[Isis1]

Thank you for your responses. Here are a few of my own.

CJ Jane: You are snappy to judge my parenting skills. For one, my wife abandoned me for her "boyfriend", and then I started dating. Secondly, my daughter has met my girlfriend two times in the last 5 months... both times at a public park, and I exhibited no displays of affection or vice versa with my girlfriend. My girlfriend just sort of observed my child playing with me, I wanted them to meet in a very casual setting. I posted this post because AFTER my divorce is final, I do plan on living with my girlfriend, but I don't want any hang ups with my daughter being able to come over to my house. Again, don't just assume you know every detail and be so eager to judge people.

Antigone of Greece: I'm not happy my daughter will be moving far away, but I work in a remote area of the country, and I work crazy hours. My wife has hated it here since we moved here, so I wouldn't expect her to stay when she hates it so bad.

To everyone else, I mentioned my girlfriend being a teacher because my wife keeps threatening that she is out to prove to the judge that my girlfriend is a "bad person" for dating a married man and a danger to my daughter. I know it is ridiculous, but I'm worried that I will get screwed somehow and not be able to see my daughter, which is why I posted this post to begin with.

Thank you all for your feedback, I'm not trying to be defensive. Just not looking for a moral lashing.. but rather legit advice about the legal matter at hand. I'm not that "typical" guy who left his wife for a younger woman and is now parading around with her.. I'm 29... been married for 2 years, and my wife cheated on me and left me.. and now is threatening me every chance she gets. I just want to get some feedback before my next meeting with my lawyer.

here's the thing. two wrongs don't make a right. you go into court waving mom's boyfriend to justify your girlfriend won't help you. right now, if mom pushes the issue, you ask the judge to implement the same thing for her of that is what she really wants. watch her snap her mouth shut real quick.

threats are a part of the divorce game. arm yourself with knowledge. you'd be surprised how easy those threats are easy to ignore once you know the truth.

 

[mistoffolees]

Your wife cannot prevent you doing anything.

The judge, however, can.

It is not uncommon for a judge to not allow, say, unmarried overnight guests of the opposite gender.

Very, very state specific. In many states, the judges won't order that unless the parents agree to it. I believe NV is one of those.

 

[stealth2]

Maybe both you and Mom need to put the child first and stop exposing her to your adulterous relationships. I know that's a novel concept for many, but... why should the child have to deal with both her world falling apart and these strangers suddenly in her life? Can't either of you manage to put her first and help her deal with this upheaval w/o getting laid on the side? Seriously?

 

[CJane]

Very, very state specific. In many states, the judges won't order that unless the parents agree to it. I believe NV is one of those.

And since Mom is engaged (vomit), she might just agree to it. Dad "only" plans to shack up.

 

[dmcc10880]

Oh for crying out loud, your stbx can't dictate who, what, where and when you are with your girlfriend with your children. A judge won't either. Tell her to pound it and move on with your life as you so choose to. Especially in NV. Just posturing by your sbtx to make your life difficult.