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Shared parenting/Braces

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mistoffolees

Senior Member
I'm sorry but I don't agree that one parent should ever just have the right to go off and have any non-emergency medical or dental procedure done based on the recommendations of one single professional. I think it quite reasonable for me to have "requested" that the appointment be cancelled and to provide me with sufficient x-rays and other documentation in order to obtain and second opinion. In my personal opinion, any court that would side with the parent who didn't allow for a second opinion and also wouldn't wait the additional time to help both parties pay less with better insurance coverage, that is a court that is unjustifiably favoring one parent over the other. I didn't "veto" or "bully" anyone to do anything. I made a responsible and reasonable request. I would just love to understand how a court can order you to pay something you have complete inability to pay.
Then you should have asked for a different court order.

As it is, you have a court order in place and have to follow it. And, realistically, decisions have to be made. If everything has to be done by mutual consent, the courts would be even more backed up than they are today.
 


Charles111

Junior Member
Well, lets explore my other options then shall we.
If I am "forced" to go back to court to fight this I might as well see about changing other things that aren't working out.

Can I change visitation since I have moved and no longer live in close proximity that alternating weekends is convenient? (approx 3 hrs drive)

Since I pay over 70% in CS can I ask that I be allowed to claim both kids on taxes? (I only claim one right now)

Oh and on top of everything else, I just had CS modified in April this year and she was given opportunity to dispute it and never did. Now, in the hearing she has asked that it be modified back to what it was. Can this be done even with CS documents showing it was just modified and there has been no substantial change to the situation?

Can I file for contempt against the Orthodontist in contempt for failing to provide me the records I requested in wrighting?
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Well, lets explore my other options then shall we.
If I am "forced" to go back to court to fight this I might as well see about changing other things that aren't working out.

Can I change visitation since I have moved and no longer live in close proximity that alternating weekends is convenient? (approx 3 hrs drive)
You can ask.

Since I pay over 70% in CS can I ask that I be allowed to claim both kids on taxes? (I only claim one right now)
You can ask - but probably won't get it. What is the change of circumstances?

Oh and on top of everything else, I just had CS modified in April this year and she was given opportunity to dispute it and never did. Now, in the hearing she has asked that it be modified back to what it was. Can this be done even with CS documents showing it was just modified and there has been no substantial change to the situation?
Depends on the legal principle she's using. If, for example, she can convince the court that she was not properly served, then the April hearing would be void and the old order would remain in effect.

Without knowing more details, it's impossible to speculate.

Can I file for contempt against the Orthodontist in contempt for failing to provide me the records I requested in wrighting?
No. The orthodontist is not a party to your decree.

You really need to grow up.
 

Charles111

Junior Member
Ok I have looked over my papers yet again because I knew I read something about records access. It does state that any keeper of a record who knowingly fails to comply with the order is in contempt of court. I did note in my letter to the dentist that I had a legal right to the records and that I could provide documents if necessary. Since I was never asked to provide them as proof of my right and also never provided the records, then how can that not be contempt on their part?
 

Charles111

Junior Member
In our separation agreement it states "The parties shall discuss with each other and cooperate in all parenting decisions on matters affecting children, including, but not limited to the childrens health care, schooling, religion, medical needs, as well as other such matters of importance or signifi**************.
I went back over my papers and it is actually worded a bit differently under the actual "Shared Parenting Plan". on this document it states "The parties shall mutually discuss all issues relating to non-emergency medical care and treatment and make "mutual decisions" concerning the children's care and treatment.

Does this not matter at all that this was NOT a mutual decision???
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Ok I have looked over my papers yet again because I knew I read something about records access. It does state that any keeper of a record who knowingly fails to comply with the order is in contempt of court. I did note in my letter to the dentist that I had a legal right to the records and that I could provide documents if necessary. Since I was never asked to provide them as proof of my right and also never provided the records, then how can that not be contempt on their part?

That's likely unenforceable - the providers are NOT party to the order and the court has no jurisdiction.

I really have to ask you though - is this truly the hill upon which you want to die?
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
I went back over my papers and it is actually worded a bit differently under the actual "Shared Parenting Plan". on this document it states "The parties shall mutually discuss all issues relating to non-emergency medical care and treatment and make "mutual decisions" concerning the children's care and treatment.

Does this not matter at all that this was NOT a mutual decision???
Maybe, maybe not. First, you did agree to the orthodontic treatment, you're just arguing about where and when to have it done. In the end, if the two of you can't agree and something does need to be done, CP is not going to be penalized for having it done.

The courts realize that "parties must make mutual decisions" is the ideal, but there are always going to be times when the parties don't agree.

Besides - you were asked to provide an exact quote of what the order says - and you did so in post #6. Now you're giving us a different 'exact wording'. If you can't be honest about what the agreement says, you're wasting everyone's time.

Ok I have looked over my papers yet again because I knew I read something about records access. It does state that any keeper of a record who knowingly fails to comply with the order is in contempt of court. I did note in my letter to the dentist that I had a legal right to the records and that I could provide documents if necessary. Since I was never asked to provide them as proof of my right and also never provided the records, then how can that not be contempt on their part?


As I explained, the orthodontist is not a party to your divorce and is therefore not bound by the terms. There's no way that he can be found in contempt for not abiding by your divorce decree.

That clause applies only to you and your ex.

Now, you DO probably have a legal right to the documents, but throwing around inaccurate information and threats is not the way to get it. With HIPAA, they have to be careful about who they release the information to. Your status as the father should be enough to get dental records.
 
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Charles111

Junior Member
Oh wow, now I am being dishonest? You do realize just how many pages are contained in a divorce entry with all the exhibits? I was NEVER dishonest I simply found the portion in the "Separation Agreement" and after getting everyones opinions, I decided to go back over the entire document including all the exhibits. That is when I discovered the difference in the wording between the separation agreement and the shared parenting.

A couple of you sure seem to be bitter. I was in no way judgemental against a single poster here and yet I have been accused of "bullying", "lying", etc. By the way, to the poster commenting that they would not punish the "CP", there in no "CP" in Shared Parenting Agreement.

This forum, to be quite honest, has far to many inmature people for me to give much merit to those of you who post your accusing opinions and rude behaviors. People come here for explainations on laws, or to get clarification when they may not be fully aware of how the laws apply, etc. I am fairly certain that not one single person comes here asking to be degraded. So, to the one who said "I need to grow up", I say to those of you on this forum casting about your stones that you best put your rocks down and take a long look in the mirror.

Thank you to all who offered me sincere and helpful advice without criticism. :D
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Oh wow, now I am being dishonest? You do realize just how many pages are contained in a divorce entry with all the exhibits? I was NEVER dishonest I simply found the portion in the "Separation Agreement" and after getting everyones opinions, I decided to go back over the entire document including all the exhibits. That is when I discovered the difference in the wording between the separation agreement and the shared parenting.

A couple of you sure seem to be bitter. I was in no way judgemental against a single poster here and yet I have been accused of "bullying", "lying", etc. By the way, to the poster commenting that they would not punish the "CP", there in no "CP" in Shared Parenting Agreement.

This forum, to be quite honest, has far to many inmature people for me to give much merit to those of you who post your accusing opinions and rude behaviors. People come here for explainations on laws, or to get clarification when they may not be fully aware of how the laws apply, etc. I am fairly certain that not one single person comes here asking to be degraded. So, to the one who said "I need to grow up", I say to those of you on this forum casting about your stones that you best put your rocks down and take a long look in the mirror.

Thank you to all who offered me sincere and helpful advice without criticism. :D
Wow. The sage has spoken. But keep in mind this sage thinks a childs crooked teeth should not be fixed. :(Perhaps he is a Brit?? (lol...:p to Pro)
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Oh wow, now I am being dishonest? You do realize just how many pages are contained in a divorce entry with all the exhibits? I was NEVER dishonest I simply found the portion in the "Separation Agreement" and after getting everyones opinions, I decided to go back over the entire document including all the exhibits. That is when I discovered the difference in the wording between the separation agreement and the shared parenting.

A couple of you sure seem to be bitter. I was in no way judgemental against a single poster here and yet I have been accused of "bullying", "lying", etc. By the way, to the poster commenting that they would not punish the "CP", there in no "CP" in Shared Parenting Agreement.

This forum, to be quite honest, has far to many inmature people for me to give much merit to those of you who post your accusing opinions and rude behaviors. People come here for explainations on laws, or to get clarification when they may not be fully aware of how the laws apply, etc. I am fairly certain that not one single person comes here asking to be degraded. So, to the one who said "I need to grow up", I say to those of you on this forum casting about your stones that you best put your rocks down and take a long look in the mirror.

Thank you to all who offered me sincere and helpful advice without criticism. :D

And I say to you, the parenting advice comes free.

If you can't take a very knowledgeable and experienced poster offering you very simple - if blunt - advice (and yes, you do both need to grow up it seems), then you're going to have a really miserable time while your child is growing up.

Pick your battles.

And I'd suggest, not with the folk who've answered your post.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Proserpina : This has nothing to do with the other post and I thought this palce is for people to talk.....
Please keep you comment to yourself also. This post was from my brother's son thank you! MY SO IS NOT OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE WISDOM TEETH
Thanks

Don't give advice unless you KNOW that your information is accurate for THE OTHER POSTER.


Please re-read what you just wrote here. Then have a hot buttered crumpet.

Then take a good hearty laugh.

I just did. :cool:
 
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