• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Full Legal Custody

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

Status
Not open for further replies.

LdiJ

Senior Member
No. I'm not sure where the confusion is with that. The court order was that the child cannot be taken into X County. That post was in response to someone asking why. I am sorry for any confusion...
I just reviewed your previous threads and would like to retract my previous advice.

Your ex is scary crazy.

He is never going to stop. I do think that you should have a discussion with an attorney about your ex, and get some advice from the attorney as to what you should do at this point.

However, I will say that I am not sure whether it would be better for you to leave things alone and just avoid as much contact with him as possible, or whether it would be better to file for sole custody and supervised visitation for him. Filing for sole custody and supervised visitation might send him off the deep end and then you really might not be safe.

Talk to your counselor about it too and get his/her take on the situation.
 


breezymom

Member
LDiJ:

The visitation is considered supervised, since he lives with his mother. And yes it is scary. Currently, the judge wants us to communicate, as of the last court date, which is why I have done so...and I do try to keep it minimal.

I feel like if I don't respond (since he threatens calling CPS and does call CPS on his other child's mother, but that's another story but it intertwines with our entire custody situation) that it will make me look like I am inattentive to our child's needs and his concerns.

The parenting class we both took said that parallel parenting is best for a situation such as ours, so I let all the little stuff just slide off and try and fix those things at home.
 

breezymom

Member
He is never going to stop.
This is also the truth. He had posted something, recently, concerning putting out cheese and catching the rat after 7 years. His other child is school age and the same is continuing there, as well. Most of these folks, like his old work place, for example, think if they ignore him, he will stop and leave them alone, but he proves them wrong time and time again by popping up and doing the same things. Heck...our child is 2 and it doesn't seem to be getting better...just worse.
 

BL

Senior Member
This is also the truth. He had posted something, recently, concerning putting out cheese and catching the rat after 7 years. His other child is school age and the same is continuing there, as well. Most of these folks, like his old work place, for example, think if they ignore him, he will stop and leave them alone, but he proves them wrong time and time again by popping up and doing the same things. Heck...our child is 2 and it doesn't seem to be getting better...just worse.
I wouldn't send him over the deep end .

See here: http://www.whec.com/news/stories/S2272190.shtml?cat=566[/U]]Mothers torn apart over the murder of their daughters | www.WHEC.com
 

breezymom

Member
In all honesty, I think that's why much confusion comes out of my posts. This is the most detailed thing I've posted because I am afraid he will find it and that it will push him over. I don't know what kinds of plans he has had for me, but he has planned to plant drugs in the other child's mother's car and at one point, he had thought out a plan to take a friend of his who was on her death bed up with him when he dropped off the other child so the woman could shoot the mother. The friend died much earlier than planned and not sure...note the not sure part of this...if he would have acted on it or not.
 

tuffbrk

Senior Member
I wish I had my order in front of me to give you the exact wording that our mediator edited into our agreement but I don't.

In a nutshell, though, is that Dad and I have joint legal. If there is a dispute, the decision of the residential parent is the final decision with certain exceptions. The exceptions included permission for surgery, excluding emergencies, and also something about obligating Dad financially which I think pertained to tuition costs. The "exceptions" to the rules required either a mediator recommendation or court decision prior to a decision being made.

Perhaps requesting something along those lines, related solely to medical decisions, would be more attainable than sole legal custody.

Just a thought.
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
Does he always respond when you send an email, or does he ignore them?

I use a service called readnotify.com that puts a tracker on the email to show when it is delivered, read, etc. There is a certified portion that can be used for court.
 

breezymom

Member
Well, I am finally having to take the child to the pediatrician. As I posted in another thread (before I knew to keep things together), the child has been having nasty sleep issues: waking up hysterical, wide awake, at the same time every night 11-12 of 14 days in between the over night visits. It stops about 3 days before the next one and starts again the night before. In summary, it's gone from pointing at the window, saying "hurts," before her language skills increased, to doing that and, "Momma...the man is gonna get me," to, "Daddy hurt," to three times before bed one night recently, "Daddy out there...gonna get me."

I phoned the pediatrician today at work and discussed this with them. I told them that I'm not sure if it's because of the change in routine between the two houses or what, but this has been going on nearly every night for a couple months and was happening sporadically for months before. We'd been dealing with it, the child and I. We scare away the baddies by saying "rawr" at the window. She has to touch the curtains nightly or won't even get in bed. When she wakes up, the more awake she gets, the more out of control she is...she hides under her easel or backs herself into a corner. She won't let me touch her and it's always centered around the window. Kids have nightmares and night terrors, but this is 11-12 of every 14 days.

We follow a routine and read before bed, do hugs, kisses, love yous, and good nights. We've tried even the "monster spray," as suggested by another member here. It's not going away. Once I finally get her calmed down, she lets me rub her back and sing or talk to her and I keep ensuring her that I won't let anyone hurt her. The family counselor says that, unfortunately, there's not much I can do about her trying to work things out in her sleep.

Now, the pediatrician asked me this question, "WHY is she spending the night there being that young (she is 2, now, and has been doing overnights for around a year, court order given when she was 10 months)," to which all I could answer was that I expressed my concerns, but it was court-ordered. Oh...and he never did make an appointment, once again, for him to address his concerns.

So, we're going on Thursday to check in with her nurse practitioner (her pediatrician is booked completely for awhile). I am hoping that we can figure something out something to help ease whatever anxiety is causing the issue because she and I are both exhausted.

Once we go, I am guessing this is probably some stuff I should share with the GAL. I did share with the GAL, awhile back, that the child had returned home from one of her first over night visits and was not only acting strange in other ways, but just started banging her head against the wall with no apparent reason other than frustration about something she obviously couldn't tell me about because she was too young. This should be something I share with the GAL when I return, yes? Especially considering that, since he has said he would be filing court papers for the past month and a half, we are likely to be returning to court whenever he decides to file.
 

breezymom

Member
New question:

The current court order states that the minor child cannot be taken into X county.

This was put into effect due to the results of an emergency hearing where I was concerned about the child's safety with him in that county due to evidence he had provided that he was involved in murder cases and such, along with saying the police tried running him off the road, and other issues.

Now, as I stated before (but in another thread, which is why I'm reposting this here), he has still repeatedly slandered CPS of the county, a state agency located in that county, as well as the Sheriff's Department in that county, along with posting things on his FB concerning these murder cases.

He phoned me (recorded), asked to change visitation because his other child was starting school and that child's visitation was being changed. He wanted it on a different day of the week. To that minor change (court order states, that visitation has to be as is OR as agreed upon by both parties) I had said of course and I would put it in writing. To that, he responded with he had gotten a job in X county (the one specifically named in the court order that she is NOT to go to), and he would be moving in two months. He said all that happened up there was "water under the bridge," and his sister's friend told him that there is no reason why he shouldn't be able to have visitation up there. He wanted me to agree to it (agree to violate the court order). I told him, sorry...I like to go by the rules. The court order states she cannot go there, so if you wish to change that, file the papers. He rambled on, again, about irrelevant things, then said, oh, he wants every other weekend...paused...and more days of the week. Once again, I told him, if you want things changed, go file the papers.

Well, a month goes by--no court papers in the mail. No child support indicating a new job (just started receiving it and it is being taken from unemployment benefits, so still no job that he supposedly got). Dad picks up the child from home (due to holiday...usually we use an exchange service). He rambles on about irrelevant stuff again, gradually edging into he should be allowed visitation in X county. I told him calmly this was an issue we should not be speaking about in front of the child (who, at that point, had that "deer in the headlights" "blank" look on her face), and I told the child good bye and I loved her, and he continued on saying he knew BUT are we going to an arbitrator or court. I told him I'm still waiting for the papers. I then blew a kiss to our little one and waved and walked away.

His response to this was to send me a message on FB saying he was concerned about the child's speech, not following his movements, and "blank" looks, and then to post a photo of our child in a WWE mask with the caption, "Maybe I can sneak into X county."

The question is, provided the court order and the information I portrayed, am I doing the correct thing by keeping it to telling him, "file the papers?"

Edit: BTW...this was two weeks ago and still...no papers.
 

breezymom

Member
...or, as I have thought about in knowing how he responds to things, can he say that I am preventing him from obtaining employment because I will not agree to it?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
...or, as I have thought about in knowing how he responds to things, can he say that I am preventing him from obtaining employment because I will not agree to it?
Yes, you are doing the right thing by following the court orders and telling him that if he wants changes to take it to court.

No, he cannot say that you are preventing him from obtaining employment because you are insisting on following the court orders. He could commute to the other county.
 

breezymom

Member
Thought so, LdiJ...thanks. Now, due to my inexperience in this area...how long does it normally take for papers to be served? I never served him any...I thought everything went mail-bound. I may stop down to the court today to see if anything has been filed...total since he has said he was going to file has been nearly a month and a half...
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Thought so, LdiJ...thanks. Now, due to my inexperience in this area...how long does it normally take for papers to be served? I never served him any...I thought everything went mail-bound. I may stop down to the court today to see if anything has been filed...total since he has said he was going to file has been nearly a month and a half...
He probably hasn't filed anything, but since he seems pretty devious it probably would be a good idea to make sure that he hasn't filed anything and lied about service. You would however, have been served by now under normal circumstances.
 

breezymom

Member
Thanks, again. I will check, just in case. As of the holiday, since he brought it up, again, it didn't seem like he filed, but...well...I have many reasons not to trust him and many reasons to believe that he hasn't actually gone and filed, but is, rather, dancing around screaming and yelling about it, and calling people and doing the same.

Honestly, when I left, though I knew things would be difficult, I had hoped he would change for the better of both children...but two years later on ours and 4 years later on the other child and still the same behavior. It still amazes me that he completed the anger management course in a couple of weeks.
 

BL

Senior Member
Thanks, again. I will check, just in case. As of the holiday, since he brought it up, again, it didn't seem like he filed, but...well...I have many reasons not to trust him and many reasons to believe that he hasn't actually gone and filed, but is, rather, dancing around screaming and yelling about it, and calling people and doing the same.

Honestly, when I left, though I knew things would be difficult, I had hoped he would change for the better of both children...but two years later on ours and 4 years later on the other child and still the same behavior. It still amazes me that he completed the anger management course in a couple of weeks.
geezz 111 drama ......Danging around and screwing ...
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top