relocation issue and visitation fee

[bluesky368]

I discuss with my wife, what I mean is if I stay in the same town with wife, the visitation is she can visit the kids at any time, at least twice weekend per month. If I move to CA, I will offer her to either she comes to CA to see the kids or I take the kids to IL. I will pay for the expenses. I will offer her 4 times a year for this visitation schedule. Each time I can let the kids stay with their Mom weeks.

For the moving, actually what I mean is if I marry another woman in other state, is it a good reason to court to take the kids to move to her state?

 

[Silverplum]

I discuss with my wife, what I mean is if I stay in the same town with wife, the visitation is she can visit the kids at any time, at least twice weekend per month. If I move to CA, I will offer her to either she comes to CA to see the kids or I take the kids to IL. I will pay for the expenses. I will offer her 4 times a year for this visitation schedule. Each time I can let the kids stay with their Mom weeks.

For the moving, actually what I mean is if I marry another woman in other state, is it a good reason to court to take the kids to move to her state?

No.

MOM is their family, along with YOU. If you don't like what I'm writing, view it as if it's happening TO you: Mom announcing that HER new boyfriend/husband is more important for the kids than YOU are.

Nope.

 

[Proserpina]

I discuss with my wife, what I mean is if I stay in the same town with wife, the visitation is she can visit the kids at any time, at least twice weekend per month. If I move to CA, I will offer her to either she comes to CA to see the kids or I take the kids to IL. I will pay for the expenses. I will offer her 4 times a year for this visitation schedule. Each time I can let the kids stay with their Mom weeks.

For the moving, actually what I mean is if I marry another woman in other state, is it a good reason to court to take the kids to move to her state?

Why couldn't your other woman move to Illinois?

How would you feel if Mom wanted to move the kids to Alaska to be with her new man?

 

[mistoffolees]

"I take the sole custody to my kids and she can visit the kids at any time but at least two weekend per month." is my wife's say and I agree.

No, I cannot afford twice monthly to her. I offer her to visit kids four times per years. During the summer time ( about 2 months) or any school break, the kids can stay with Mom.


What is more reasonable say? My wife doesn't like to put specific/detail visitation schedule each week in the agreement. She wants more "freedom", not "controlling" in this issue.

For the relocating with kids, if I find another relationship in other state after few years, is it a good reason to court to relocate to other state with my kids?

Read. Learn.

If you move, you should be the one paying for all transportation. And that's likely to be more than a couple of times a year.

Frankly, I haven't seen any reason why Mom shouldn't simply get custody and then you can move and come back to visit.

 

[Proserpina]

Read. Learn.

If you move, you should be the one paying for all transportation. And that's likely to be more than a couple of times a year.

Frankly, I haven't seen any reason why Mom shouldn't simply get custody and then you can move and come back to visit.

I have no idea, either.

But Mom appears to be fine with Dad being primary. Shrug. Who knows?

 

[bluesky368]

Originally, I offer my wife to take primary custody option and I pay child support but she gives up. She had a lot of concern and less confidence being primary.

 

[Proserpina]

Originally, I offer my wife to take primary custody option and I pay child support but she gives up. She had a lot of concern and less confidence being primary.

I have to wonder.

I'm still sensing - post history - a lot of control issues here. I'm not really surprised Mom doesn't feel confident.

 

[st-kitts]

For Pete's sake, how can you offer to pay to send kids (plural) to Illinois from California if you haven't put up the money for an attorney for your divorce? Generally going pro se is an indication that funds are lacking. If you have enough money to pay for transportation for kids from California to Illinois 4 times per year for visits than you have enough for an attorney.

 

[mistoffolees]

For Pete's sake, how can you offer to pay to send kids (plural) to Illinois from California if you haven't put up the money for an attorney for your divorce? Generally going pro se is an indication that funds are lacking. If you have enough money to pay for transportation for kids from California to Illinois 4 times per year for visits than you have enough for an attorney.

Because he probably doesn't have any real intention of paying to send the kids back. He'll 'forget' to put that part into the agreement. Or will just find that he can't afford it and ask ex to take care of it.

 

[not2cleverRed]

We really need a head-hitting-a-brick-wall emoticon.

In addition to all the very sound, standard reasons members far more senior than me have posted, I have the following observation: a good part of what OP has posted is borderline gibberish. Or at least grossly abusing the standards of English.

This leads me to conclude that OP is not a native speaker of English, or at the very least a poor writer.

It would be very ill-advised of him to try and write up legal documents on his own.

Especially since he seems to be as hard headed as my ex on what are legal standards in Family Law.

OP has been a member for over a YEAR and STILL hasn't grasped simple concepts, such as (1) the person who creates the distance pays for the travel cost, (2) getting a new stepmommy for the kids WILL NOT make you automatically look better for physical custody. (So yeah, advising OP to read around the forum to educate himself would be FUTILE.)

Again, where IS the head-hitting-the-brick-wall emoticon?

 

[Proserpina]

In addition to all the very sound, standard reasons members far more senior than me have posted, I have the following observation: a good part of what OP has posted is borderline gibberish. Or at least grossly abusing the standards of English.

This leads me to conclude that OP is not a native speaker of English, or at the very least a poor writer.

It would be very ill-advised of him to try and write up legal documents on his own.

Especially since he seems to be as hard headed as my ex on what are legal standards in Family Law.

OP has been a member for over 2 YEARS and STILL hasn't grasped simple concepts, such as (1) the person who creates the distance pays for the travel cost, (2) getting a new stepmommy for the kids WILL NOT make you automatically look better for physical custody. (So yeah, advising OP to read around the forum to educate himself would be FUTILE.)

Again, where IS the head-hitting-the-brick-wall emoticon?

I believe English is not OP's first language.

Just one teeny thing though. It's not a given that the relocating parent is automatically responsible for the cost. It is possible for the court to order the cost to be split between the parents (in varying percentages).

Is it fair? Maybe not. But it does happen.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Even when the costs go to one parent, one way or another the other parent gets some of the burden.

OP would be far better off getting a good lawyer and following the lawyer's advice.

I have 0 sympathy for OP being a non native speaker in this case. OP should know and acknowledge his limitations. My Asian in-law didn't try to represent herself in her divorce. My Near Eastern in-law with a PhD in linguistics from an American university wouldn't attempt to DIY legal issues.

Like my Eastern European ex, OP needs to realize that children are not his property, and that he really needs to listen and accept advice. (My ex would not accept his lawyer's advice that there would have to be a provision for child support in our divorce settlement, for example.)

And at least OP has some logical reason for wanting to relocate (employment), although why it would be in the children's best interest to be separated from their mother hasn't been expressed.

 

[mistoffolees]

But Mom appears to be fine with Dad being primary. Shrug. Who knows?

I'm not convinced of that. I get the sense that he's bullying Mom into agreeing and hopes to force it down her throat.

Who knows?

 

[stealth2]

I would suggest reading his ENTIRE h/x... he was talking about being relocated to CA back in AUGUST already. And this entire situation over a year ago.