ex's gf and abuse infront of and to my children

[teach85]

File a motion requesting a GAL to be appointed due to possible exposure of abuse. Serve a copy upon dad.

Thank you!

 

[teach85]

I agree with OG that you should chill out, but I also understand where you are coming from. Unfortunately we have seen more than one case on this forum where a parent completely bowed out of the children's lives when their new significant other was legally restrained from being around the children.

Basically dad is going to eventually get tired of the restriction...and several different things could happen. He could get smart and get rid of the girlfriend, he could ignore the order and have the child around the girlfriend and tell the child to lie, or he could bow out of the child's life, maybe temporarily, maybe long term. (depending on how long the girlfriend lasts)

Thanks for seeing where I'm coming from! It just makes me so mad when I see someone choosing anyone over their child and even more so when they are my kids! We will have to just see how things go.

 

[teach85]

Update

We had court today. The judge said that he doesn't appoint GAL's in OP cases but the he would for the pending family case we have going on. She showed up today with a lawyer (an hour late). Her lawyer tried to argue that there were no grounds for the OP to begin with, claiming it didn't meet the requirements...the judge disagreed. Her lawyer tried to play the victim card, it didn't work. He tried to paint me to be some horrible person who is stalking her and made the whole thing up just because I dislike her. (I only speak to her when I absolutely have to.)The judge wasn't amused with his tactics!

It was continued till next Thursday so that I can retain a lawyer since the GAL is a no go for this case. (I found one this evening. ) Her lawyer tried to argue that if a continuance was going to be granted that the OP need to be changed to allow her to be there during his visitation and to add a no corporal can be used because this was causing them a great hard ship. The judge shot that down. The judge reminded them that per our parenting agreement in the family case that she shouldn't even have been there when the children are to begin with and that they shouldn't be looking to blame the court for their hardships they should look at themselves because it was their choice to disregard the current order that cause the hardship to begin with. From the judges responses today, I feel a little more confident that things will go in my favor.

I meet with my lawyer tomorrow evening. Hopefully this will all get resolved and the final order will be put into effect next week!

 

[teach85]

What should I do?

Since my ex can not have his girlfriend around the kids, last weekend he took them to stay with him and his friends apartment. I know his friends and I am ok with this. When my son found out that his dad planned on taking him back to his dad's friends again tomorrow night for his visit my son got mad. He is mad bc his dad wont make the gf leave so he can be in his own bed at his dad's house. He is mad bc he has realized that his dad is lying to him. His dad tells him he asks her to leave and she just refuses. The truth is he refuses to make her leave. Tonight he says he hates his dad and he is a lying worthless scum bag and that he doesn't want to go see him if he wont make her leave.

My question is, what do I do? I know that I can't tell their dad he can't have them. But at this point I think my son would feel betrayed by me as well if I made him get in the car, drove him there and left him there. Should I tell dad how he feels and tell him if he still want to get him that he has to come get him. Should I force him to go or should I make my ex force him to go if he so chooses. I'm stuck between what my gut is telling me to do and what the rational side of me says.

 

[Ohiogal]

Since my ex can not have his girlfriend around the kids, last weekend he took them to stay with him and his friends apartment. I know his friends and I am ok with this. When my son found out that his dad planned on taking him back to his dad's friends again tomorrow night for his visit my son got mad. He is mad bc his dad wont make the gf leave so he can be in his own bed at his dad's house. He is mad bc he has realized that his dad is lying to him. His dad tells him he asks her to leave and she just refuses. The truth is he refuses to make her leave. Tonight he says he hates his dad and he is a lying worthless scum bag and that he doesn't want to go see him if he wont make her leave.

My question is, what do I do? I know that I can't tell their dad he can't have them. But at this point I think my son would feel betrayed by me as well if I made him get in the car, drove him there and left him there. Should I tell dad how he feels and tell him if he still want to get him that he has to come get him. Should I force him to go or should I make my ex force him to go if he so chooses. I'm stuck between what my gut is telling me to do and what the rational side of me says.

If girlfriend lives with dad she CAN refuse to leave HER HOME and dad would need court orders to force her out. You follow the court order. Time to teach your son who the parent is -- YOU. He is calling his father those names? And what was your response? Or are you supporting your SON in his attitude?

 

[teach85]

If girlfriend lives with dad she CAN refuse to leave HER HOME and dad would need court orders to force her out. You follow the court order. Time to teach your son who the parent is -- YOU. He is calling his father those names? And what was your response? Or are you supporting your SON in his attitude?

She just moved back in with him in his home. Do I support him talking this way about anyone, no. But considering recent evens I can't say I blame him for feeling this way. I honestly didn't know what to say. He was upset and crying when he said this. I let him vent and get it off of his chest. Gave him a hug and said I was sorry he felt that way.

I'm stuck between my head and my heart on this one.

 

[Just Blue]

She just moved back in with him in his home. Do I support him talking this way about anyone, no. But considering recent evens I can't say I blame him for feeling this way. I honestly didn't know what to say. He was upset and crying when he said this. I let him vent and get it off of his chest. Gave him a hug and said I was sorry he felt that way.

I'm stuck between my head and my heart on this one.

Is he attending counseling?

 

[teach85]

Is he attending counseling?

Yes, weekly.

 

[teach85]

Update

So after two more court dates the issue has hopefully been settled.

Two weeks ago:My attorney felt it would be easier to deal with this in our family case since our family case already states she isn't to be around the children. So they op was dropped with the understanding that they would abide by our parenting agreement and another court date was set.

Today we walked into court with an agreement between the two of us. She wil be allow to be present during his visitation time but...
1. He can not leave the children with her if he has to work or needs a sitter.
2. She can not be left unsupervised with the children.
3. She can not discipline the children.
4. On one can take our son's phone away from him and if at anytime either of them feels unsafe at his fathers house he can call me and I can pick them up without interference.
5. They will all attend counseling at his expense. Counseling for him and his gf, group counseling for all of them and counseling for him and the children. He has to provide me and the courts with the counselors recommendations and agreed to follow any recommendations of the counselor.

Hopefully he will follow this order and this will be the end of this issue. He seems to realize that I'm not messing around and will do what ever I have to do (legally speaking) to protect the kids from their behaviors.

Here's to being optimistic!