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how long before considered abandoning marital property

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caretta32

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

Husband moved to brothers house and stated he was not abandoning the house, that was last week in August and still has not moved back. He still come and goes from house.

How do I establish abandonment? He is still paying 1/2 of mortgage so I cannot deny him access because there is no offical legal separation papers filed. He says he not moving back yet, so how long do i have to wait to establish abandonment?

Or when I file legal separation papers who will get the house? He is supposed to have every other weekend visitation with his son & has not exercised his rights since beginning of July. I am only one taking care of house.
 


Silverplum

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

Husband moved to brothers house and stated he was not abandoning the house, that was last week in August and still has not moved back. He still come and goes from house.

How do I establish abandonment? He is still paying 1/2 of mortgage so I cannot deny him access because there is no offical legal separation papers filed. He says he not moving back yet, so how long do i have to wait to establish abandonment?

Or when I file legal separation papers who will get the house? He is supposed to have every other weekend visitation with his son & has not exercised his rights since beginning of July. I am only one taking care of house.
Why are you set on "abandonment?" Is it your reason for divorce? You aren't even legally separated?

Because he has NOT "abandoned" the property. And you are NOT the "only one taking care" of the house: he is paying half the mortgage.

Please do yourself a favor: stop using "legal terms" you've heard to define your situation. Just be open to whatever it's called, whatever it is. "Abandonment" isn't it.
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
Look at a map. IL is not in the south.

You cannot deny him access to the marital home until you have filed for divorce and asked for, and been granted, exclusive use of the marital home.
 

caretta32

Junior Member
He was the one who used the term abandonment, I say he just left.

I do not stop him from coming and going from house.

Problem is he doesnt want divorce or legal separation for fear of massive debt he will incur. He wants to wait till credit card bills are paid off.

I pay all the bills out of my checking account, its in my name only because he is on chex-systems and Chase wont add him, he gives me money to pay 1/2 the household and his personal bills. He has no idea how to use automatic bill pay, I've tried to teach him.

Since he is not living at home am I still required to pay his personal debts (shild support, loan re-payment to his mother, etc..) from my checking account if I only ask for money for 1/2 of the household bills.

I have no problem paying all household bills from checking account, I just want him to take responsibility for his personal debts that involve his child and any aquired before we got married.

So what is the difference between separation and divorce. If I take over full payment of the mortgage and utilities can I change the locks?
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
You cannot deny him access to the marital home until you have filed for divorce and asked for, and been granted, exclusive use of the marital home. By a judge, in court.

You do not have to take money from him and write checks for his personal bills that are in his name. He does not have to pay for half the mortgage or household bills for a home he's not living in, either.
 

caretta32

Junior Member
You cannot deny him access to the marital home until you have filed for divorce and asked for, and been granted, exclusive use of the marital home. By a judge, in court.

You do not have to take money from him and write checks for his personal bills that are in his name. He does not have to pay for half the mortgage or household bills for a home he's not living in, either.
I realize that I cannot and have not ever denied him access so he comes and goes as he pleases, brings his son over on nights I work. It is like he lives there but does not sleep there. He eats, watchs TV, ocassionally takes a shower and other things.

Does that make a difference as to whether he still pays his 1/2, and thank you for the information on his personal bills.
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
You can't deny him access to the marital home until you have filed for divorce and asked for, and been granted, exclusive use of the marital home. By a judge, in court.

Do I need to say it a 4th time?

No, it doesn't matter whether he's paying the bills or not. It's still the marital home.
 

Antigone*

Senior Member
I realize that I cannot and have not ever denied him access so he comes and goes as he pleases, brings his son over on nights I work. It is like he lives there but does not sleep there. He eats, watchs TV, ocassionally takes a shower and other things.

Does that make a difference as to whether he still pays his 1/2, and thank you for the information on his personal bills.
So what is keeping you from filing for divorce yourself?
 

caretta32

Junior Member
So what is keeping you from filing for divorce yourself?
Thank u Antigone, I have not filed for divorce b/c of the most stupidest reasons in the world faith and Love. I should dump his butt, he and I both have made stupid mistakes in last couple months. There is still a strong attraction towards each other, so trying to work on that. He has family members telling him I'm after only his money. That is the biggest joke, my mom & dad are worth close to 2 mil, so why would I want his money? He doesnt get it.

And the other responder only keeps answering one of the two questions I posted.

I will repeat a 5th time I DO NOT DENY HIM ACCESS however he is denying me access to one of our mutually owned vehicles. Can he legal do that, if so then I will end the thread, if not how do I stop him. There is only one coded key to the car.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Thank u Antigone, I have not filed for divorce b/c of the most stupidest reasons in the world faith and Love. I should dump his butt, he and I both have made stupid mistakes in last couple months. There is still a strong attraction towards each other, so trying to work on that. He has family members telling him I'm after only his money. That is the biggest joke, my mom & dad are worth close to 2 mil, so why would I want his money? He doesnt get it.

And the other responder only keeps answering one of the two questions I posted.

I will repeat a 5th time I DO NOT DENY HIM ACCESS however he is denying me access to one of our mutually owned vehicles. Can he legal do that, if so then I will end the thread, if not how do I stop him. There is only one coded key to the car.
Explain what you mean by "denying" access to the vehicle.
 

caretta32

Junior Member
I am not allowed to drive the car or even get into it. There is only one key and I am not allowed to have it. When he comes over he keeps the key in his pocket and the car doors are locked.

Then when he leaves he takes car with him and that is fine.

Its a really nice car that handles very well, unlike my 11 year old honda that is on its last leg.

Husband left at end of August and moved into his brothers house, has not moved back & we still have sexual relations (if that makes a difference) & I want to file Legal Separation & remain in marital residence.

He states since he needs the house for weekend visitation with his son, he will get the home. There is one issue, his ex-wife has been denying him his weekend visitation since July, and he has done nothing to enforce it.

I have for the last 3 years provided all the maintainance, repair and care of home because he was too wrapped up in himself to help.

I have nowhere to stay and have a dog recovering from ACL surgery and she will be having same surgery on other leg (damn squirrels) in couple of weeks.

What would a judge say?
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I am not allowed to drive the car or even get into it. There is only one key and I am not allowed to have it. When he comes over he keeps the key in his pocket and the car doors are locked.

Then when he leaves he takes car with him and that is fine.
Ahh, so it's a non-issue. I won't bother responding further to it as nothing illegal or improper is occurring.
 

caretta32

Junior Member
I am not allowed to drive the car or even get into it. There is only one key and I am not allowed to have it. When he comes over he keeps the key in his pocket and the car doors are locked.

Then when he leaves he takes car with him and that is fine.

Its a really nice car that handles very well, unlike my 11 year old honda that is on its last leg.

Husband left at end of August and moved into his brothers house, has not moved back & we still have sexual relations (if that makes a difference) & I want to file Legal Separation & remain in marital residence.

He states since he needs the house for weekend visitation with his son, he will get the home. There is one issue, his ex-wife has been denying him his weekend visitation since July, and he has done nothing to enforce it.

I have for the last 3 years provided all the maintainance, repair and care of home because he was too wrapped up in himself to help.

I have nowhere to stay and have a dog recovering from ACL surgery and she will be having same surgery on other leg (damn squirrels) in couple of weeks.

What would a judge say?
Thank you car issue solved what about other question of who gets to live in marital residence during separation.

Will his non-enforcement of weekend visitation be a factor?
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
Thank you car issue solved what about other question of who gets to live in marital residence during separation.

Will his non-enforcement of weekend visitation be a factor?
Be a factor in what? The property settlement? The issue of who gets to live in the marital home post-separation?
 
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