how long before considered abandoning marital property

[mistoffolees]

Thank u Antigone, I have not filed for divorce b/c of the most stupidest reasons in the world faith and Love. I should dump his butt, he and I both have made stupid mistakes in last couple months. There is still a strong attraction towards each other, so trying to work on that. He has family members telling him I'm after only his money. That is the biggest joke, my mom & dad are worth close to 2 mil, so why would I want his money? He doesnt get it.

And the other responder only keeps answering one of the two questions I posted.

I will repeat a 5th time I DO NOT DENY HIM ACCESS however he is denying me access to one of our mutually owned vehicles. Can he legal do that, if so then I will end the thread, if not how do I stop him. There is only one coded key to the car.

I see. So you haven't filed for divorce because of faith and love, but you're trying to figure out how to kick him out of his own home......

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you car issue solved what about other question of who gets to live in marital residence during separation.

Will his non-enforcement of weekend visitation be a factor?

If I understood you correctly, you stated that dad claims he needs the house or access to the house in order to have his visitation with his child from another relationship. You also claim that he has not exercised that visitation for several months.

If I understood that correctly, it will have zero bearing on who gets exclusive use of the marital home. What WILL have a significant bearing will be who can best afford the home and who will be able to refinance the home to buy out the other party and get the other party's name off the mortgage.

 

[caretta32]

Be a factor in what? The property settlement? The issue of who gets to live in the marital home post-separation?

During the separation, house needs repairs in order to be placed on the market and I am the one who does all the repairs. So I would like to have residence.

He wants to use his court ordered weekend visitation of every other weekend as a basis to have the house during the separation and me come and go to do the needed repairs. Husband has not tried to enforce his court ordered weekend visitation since the denying started in July. Can I be forced to move out?

I DO NOT AND HAVE NEVER DENIED HIM ACCESS TO HOUSE.

Who do you think the judge will side with?

 

[Proserpina]

During the separation, house needs repairs in order to be placed on the market and I am the one who does all the repairs. So I would like to have residence.

He wants to use his court ordered weekend visitation of every other weekend as a basis to have the house during the separation and me come and go to do the needed repairs. Husband has not tried to enforce his court ordered weekend visitation since the denying started in July. Can I be forced to move out?

I DO NOT AND HAVE NEVER DENIED HIM ACCESS TO HOUSE.

Who do you think the judge will side with?

Yes, you can be forced to move out.

Nobody here can guess how any given judge will rule.

 

[caretta32]

I see. So you haven't filed for divorce because of faith and love, but you're trying to figure out how to kick him out of his own home......

No I am not kicking him out never said that, I want to know if I can remain in house during the separation.
I have asked him many times to move back home, apparently his ex-wife went into my purse and got his b@lls back. (Read farther down for that issue)

 

[Zigner]

During the separation, house needs repairs in order to be placed on the market and I am the one who does all the repairs. So I would like to have residence.

He wants to use his court ordered weekend visitation of every other weekend as a basis to have the house during the separation and me come and go to do the needed repairs. Husband has not tried to enforce his court ordered weekend visitation since the denying started in July. Can I be forced to move out?

I DO NOT AND HAVE NEVER DENIED HIM ACCESS TO HOUSE.

Who do you think the judge will side with?

I don't know - particularly since you are not explaining how his court-ordered visitation and the house have anything to do with each other.

 

[caretta32]

If I understood you correctly, you stated that dad claims he needs the house or access to the house in order to have his visitation with his child from another relationship. You also claim that he has not exercised that visitation for several months.

If I understood that correctly, it will have zero bearing on who gets exclusive use of the marital home. What WILL have a significant bearing will be who can best afford the home and who will be able to refinance the home to buy out the other party and get the other party's name off the mortgage.

niether of us can afford the home on our own, I could if I rent out a room. His credit score is bad. I have not even considered this option b/c then it means I am giving up.

I have repeatedly asked him to move back, his ex-wife has issues with me & that is why she is denying the overnight weekend visitation. He is scared to take her to court b/c of the possible emotional effect it could have on his son.

 

[caretta32]

I don't know - particularly since you are not explaining how his court-ordered visitation and the house have anything to do with each other.

he is stating he needs to be living in the house full-time and not me b/c his exwife has issue with me and will not allow their son around me if I am in the house. he is scared to take her to court as stated in previous response.

 

[Zigner]

he is stating he needs to be living in the house full-time and not me b/c his exwife has issue with me and will not allow their son around me if I am in the house. he is scared to take her to court as stated in previous response.

Not your problem. Not your business.

 

[mistoffolees]

he is stating he needs to be living in the house full-time and not me b/c his exwife has issue with me and will not allow their son around me if I am in the house. he is scared to take her to court as stated in previous response.

As Zig says, it's not your business.

What you need to do is file for divorce (if you haven't already done so) and ask the court for exclusive residence of the home.

However, if that happens, you will almost certainly be ordered to pay all of the costs. You will need to find some way to afford it - either renting out a room, taking a second job, or whatever it takes. You can also ask for temporary child support and/or alimony (if appropriate), at the same time.

Alternatively, you can let him continue to pay 1/2 of the mortgage and let him use the house sometimes. How he deals with his ex is his problem. However, if his ex is unwilling to allow the kid there when you're there, and Dad decides not to pay his half of the mortgage because of it, you might end up losing by insisting on staying there. An alternative would be for Dad to continue to pay half the mortgage and get to use the house for his visitation. You get the house the rest of the time - and stay with friends or family (or even a cheap hotel) when Dad is visiting his kid.

In the end, though, you're probably going to have to sell the house, so the more you can get it fixed up before the divorce is final, the better.

 

[caretta32]

As Zig says, it's not your business.

What you need to do is file for divorce (if you haven't already done so) and ask the court for exclusive residence of the home.

However, if that happens, you will almost certainly be ordered to pay all of the costs. You will need to find some way to afford it - either renting out a room, taking a second job, or whatever it takes. You can also ask for temporary child support and/or alimony (if appropriate), at the same time.

Alternatively, you can let him continue to pay 1/2 of the mortgage and let him use the house sometimes. How he deals with his ex is his problem. However, if his ex is unwilling to allow the kid there when you're there, and Dad decides not to pay his half of the mortgage because of it, you might end up losing by insisting on staying there. An alternative would be for Dad to continue to pay half the mortgage and get to use the house for his visitation. You get the house the rest of the time - and stay with friends or family (or even a cheap hotel) when Dad is visiting his kid.

In the end, though, you're probably going to have to sell the house, so the more you can get it fixed up before the divorce is final, the better.

He and I have no children and I agree that him dealing with exwife is not my problem. i have suggested all of the above solutions for him to get his overnight weekend visitation. My family has no room in their houses and he refuses to pay 1/2 of a hotel for 2 nights. I already work 2 jobs at 7 days a week.

He wont let me rent out the empty room we have. He pays 1/2 the mortgage and 1/2 of all household bills because when he does weekday visitation when I am at 2nd job, his son brings 3-4 friends with. (which is causing more damage to house and i have no control over)

In addition we have a dog recently out of ACL surgery and going in for the other knee in 3 weeks and I am main caretaker for her.

Fixing the house due to damage by my stepson will take about 9-10 months (husband is a Disney Dad). I was not allowed to say what he was allowed to and not allowed to do in our house (extreme rough housing caused all the damage-holes in ceiling, bi-fold doors demolished, holes in walls, ect.)


With all this how long do legal separations usually last?

 

[mistoffolees]

He and I have no children and I agree that him dealing with exwife is not my problem. i have suggested all of the above solutions for him to get his overnight weekend visitation. My family has no room in their houses and he refuses to pay 1/2 of a hotel for 2 nights. I already work 2 jobs at 7 days a week.

He wont let me rent out the empty room we have. He pays 1/2 the mortgage and 1/2 of all household bills because when he does weekday visitation when I am at 2nd job, his son brings 3-4 friends with. (which is causing more damage to house and i have no control over)

In addition we have a dog recently out of ACL surgery and going in for the other knee in 3 weeks and I am main caretaker for her.

Fixing the house due to damage by my stepson will take about 9-10 months (husband is a Disney Dad). I was not allowed to say what he was allowed to and not allowed to do in our house (extreme rough housing caused all the damage-holes in ceiling, bi-fold doors demolished, holes in walls, ect.)


With all this how long do legal separations usually last?

I think you've already gotten the legal answers to your questions.

And legal separations can last as long as you want them to. In ALL cases, the parties can get back together ending the legal separation. In some states, you could file for divorce at any time (if you meet the requirements). In some states, there is a waiting period - you must be separated for some time before filing for divorce).
Grounds For Divorce In Illinois.

 

[caretta32]

I wish to thank all for answering my questions, my mind is at ease now.

Just one more question, husband was at house last night when I was at yoga, he had his son and 3 of the sons friends. The kids ate most of the food so I told husband I was going grocery shopping and that he should pay 1/2 of the bill. He refused. Teenage boys eat so much food I cant enough in stock...lol

So the question is since he is at the house and uses the utilities, food and paper goods is he liable for 1/2 of these expenses?

Thank you

 

[stealth2]

Wouldn't it make sense to NOT stock up on food, etc. until *after* his visitation weekend?

As for the utilities, you posted just above that he provides money for half the mortgage and half the household bills.

Your dog really will have no bearing on who gets the house. Sorry. The dog is part of the property settlement.

 

[caretta32]

Wouldn't it make sense to NOT stock up on food, etc. until *after* his visitation weekend?

As for the utilities, you posted just above that he provides money for half the mortgage and half the household bills.

Your dog really will have no bearing on who gets the house. Sorry. The dog is part of the property settlement.

I do the shopping after he his weekday visitation which is when ever his son wants to come over so I have a hard time stocking up on food.
Glad to hear about the utilities, once again thank you to all who helped me.