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[Zigner]

Police can do a stand by to keep things civil but can't enforce the court ordered unless it is ordered for them too. We exchange @ the police station and it is court ordered just for this reason.

Take my advice be positive about the child going, send something with the child to calm them. Even sit down and make a picture book for them to take to look @ when they get home sick. But Stick to your guns make the child go and over time this will clear up. I know it's hard I have been in this situation myself but my child is almost 9 now goes when she is supposed to. She still says she don't want to go but I have learned to say don't be silly u will have fun. Unless u have founded abuse you have no choice and keeping on your path could hurt you keeping custody of your child. Your child is not a possession to own so learn to share. The two of you created this child now let them know their dad.

Oh goodness...save yourself. You, obviously, weren't involved in the prior threads related to this troll.

 

[lilmansmom]

Police can do a stand by to keep things civil but can't enforce the court ordered unless it is ordered for them too. We exchange @ the police station and it is court ordered just for this reason.

Take my advice be positive about the child going, send something with the child to calm them. Even sit down and make a picture book for them to take to look @ when they get home sick. But Stick to your guns make the child go and over time this will clear up. I know it's hard I have been in this situation myself but my child is almost 9 now goes when she is supposed to. She still says she don't want to go but I have learned to say don't be silly u will have fun. Unless u have founded abuse you have no choice and keeping on your path could hurt you keeping custody of your child. Your child is not a possession to own so learn to share. The two of you created this child now let them know their dad.

thank you.. i keep hearing how i can lose custody but i AM doing what im supposed to by bringing the child to the exchange. I am sorry that as a mother i feel its not fair for the child and i am a mother bear and very protective. i will take our child and i will tell him to go but in return i cant make the child do something especially like this, that is not me being in contempt,... no where in the order does it say "make your child go by force" i will only be in contempt IF i dont meet or answer my door

 

[cheesecake46580]

Hand the child off and walk away. And yes if you don't make the child go you are in contempt. Who is in control you or the child?

 

[lilmansmom]

Hand the child off and walk away. And yes if you don't make the child go you are in contempt. Who is in control you or the child?

and if the police come by as he is threatening... they will be witnessing all of this and the fact that i did try and my son's reaction to this.. not looking so good on father... he can file contempt papers but this is what they will say... " i am filing contempt because MOM DID bring child, MOM DID tell child to come with me, MOM DID do and say everything she could but the child still refused. I am and did do everything i am supposed to

 

[AnotherTenant]

i would NEVER punish my son for going with someone who in reality is a stranger to him. I would never punish my son for not wanting to go with this man who has only caused bad instead of good. I have the doctors notes, counselor notes, and teachers reports on our sons behavior since this all started... it has only created problems

This man "caused" your child. Sheesh. And YOU caused him to be a stranger. Now it's up to you to fix it. Quit whining and complaining, quit protesting that you're too good a parent to follow the court order, quit stirring the pot and FIX THE DAMN PROBLEM THAT YOU CREATED.

I don't really care whether this is any easier on Dad or not - he hasn't climbed much higher up the food chain than you - but you are the ONLY person who can make this situation tolerable for your son, and you continue to spend your time arguing that nothing is your fault, rather than spending it in productive endeavors such as FIXING THE DAMN PROBLEM THAT YOU CREATED.

Now go away. You've got work to do, and you won't get it done if you spend your time here.

 

[neopandora]

and if the police come by as he is threatening... they will be witnessing all of this and the fact that i did try and my son's reaction to this.. not looking so good on father... he can file contempt papers but this is what they will say... " i am filing contempt because MOM DID bring child, MOM DID tell child to come with me, MOM DID do and say everything she could but the child still refused. I am and did do everything i am supposed to

Your child is going to visitation with his Father. That will happen. You can:

Start reminding him that in x days he is going to visit his dad (maybe make a calendar) and start asking him early if he wants to take a special toy, picture or other item. Couple of days before visitation you can ask if he has any special clothes he wants to take - a lucky shirt, etc. Ask him what fun things he thinks they might want to do and if he thinks he will need "play clothes" or "school clothes" or both. Then the night before you can have him assist in packing his overnight bag so nothing is forgotten and what an adventure it will be.

Have prearranged for the drop off to be at something like McDonalds with an indoor play place and arrive an hour early so you can talk about what fun he is going to have and how it is an adventure and you can't wait to hear about his fun and say your goodbye then as a "special" goodbye. When Dad arrives hand Dad the bag, tell son Dad is here for the adventure, have fun, hug him and walk out the door and wait for a happy child to return in a few days.

That is in the best interests of your son.

Otherwise, you can insist to making this a nightmare for your son, have him anxious and nervous all week. Insist that the exchange happen at your home. Open the door to Dad and civil standby and watch your son throw a fit, cry, scream and have to be carried by Dad while the police watch and worry and wonder all weekend if son calmed down (which he most assuredly did after being out of sight of you). Such a scenario is not in the best interests of your son. It will NOT make Dad look bad to the police as officers have seen many of these types of situations before and will probably think you are not much of a mother to have such poor control over your child and to not arrange a better exchange of the child. It is also a scenario that will end up making your (pl) son upset with YOU. You will damage your relationship with your son if you do this. I will guarantee you this.

And, the only thing you will accomplish is that probably the next trip to Court the Judge will order the child exchanged to Dad by a 3rd party or the school. He might even give you a weekend in jail to show you he is serious. And, if things continue as they are, I'd give 6 months to a year before Dad will have custody.

The Judge is giving you enough rope to hang yourself. Choose your decisions wisely.

 

[cheesecake46580]

Have you tried having someone else take the child and hand them off to dad? Mite make it easier on all involved? I know in our area we have safe exchange sights that help with this as well.

 

[breezymom]

How is it that your child, at 7, doesn't seem to understand he has to sometimes do things he doesn't want to, yet my 2 year old does?

Mine bawls when I hand her off, yet, she still says, "Love you, Momma. Bye bye."

Get over it. Stop enforcing problems. IF there are problems, they will eventually surface in counseling.

It's not exactly the healthiest way to do things, but our children follow our example. YOU do things YOU don't want to do, then your child will follow that.

You need to work on changing your own bloody behavior, lady. Get with it, already.