How to vacate the wife?

[Mr Diversity]

The Great Commonwealth of Virginia

Greetings and salutations,

Thanks for taking the time to read my tale of woe and give any advice that you feel appropriate. After 7 years of an unhappy marriage my wife cheated on me in March 2010, the details of that are unimportant but it is safe to say that has led to where we are now. In June 2011 I drafted a Separation/Property Settlement/Custody Agreement that was signed by both of us and notarized at our bank. It has been an overall amicable separation but the terms of the agreement are not being met by her. In the agreement she is supposed to sign a Quit Claim Deed giving me full ownership of the home but we have not been able to afford the filing fee for the document so it has not been drafted yet.

In the agreement it states that she will "pay her fair share of the household expenses while residing in the marital home" and move out when it is "financially feasible". Since the agreement was signed in June she has paid a total of $250 towards household expenses. She was employed in a seasonal job from June through November where she earned approximately $13,000 gross. When she would try to give me money towards expenses I would tell her "please keep your money and use that as part of your savings to move out". She has saved a grand total of ... oh... nothing! This is an opinion and not a fact but think she has been supporting her unemployed boyfriend who lives in another state.

I gave her written notice on November 13, 2011 via email that she had until January 31, 2012 (ironically our anniversary) to vacate the home. I have further told her that she is welcomed to anything she wants in the home that was not mine before our marriage with the caveat that anything left here after February 1, 2012 will be considered abandoned and thus my property. The children's belongings not included. Since she has no money, no local friends (she never made any in the 10 years she lived in the DC area), no job and no place to move I have no idea of what she is going to do. As I tell her "you checked out of this marriage 22 months ago and failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part, not my problem".

My questions is... I was told I was within my legal right to boot her out since she has not lived up to the spirit of the agreement. My plan is to take the Separation Agreement to the local Magistrate on Feb. 1 and have her removed if she hasn't complied. Is all of this plausible or am I looking down the north end of a horse going south? If she does move out has she "abandoned" the marital home? Is she entitled to any marital property after she moves out? If I can't kick her out of the home, am I within my legal right to have the electricity turned off making the home a miserable existence to live in until she does abandon (the kids would go with me to my parents house where they would not be cold)?

Thanks for your advice, help and opinions..

 

[HomeGuru]

The Great Commonwealth of Virginia

Greetings and salutations,

Thanks for taking the time to read my tale of woe and give any advice that you feel appropriate. After 7 years of an unhappy marriage my wife cheated on me in March 2010, the details of that are unimportant but it is safe to say that has led to where we are now. In June 2011 I drafted a Separation/Property Settlement/Custody Agreement that was signed by both of us and notarized at our bank. It has been an overall amicable separation but the terms of the agreement are not being met by her. In the agreement she is supposed to sign a Quit Claim Deed giving me full ownership of the home but we have not been able to afford the filing fee for the document so it has not been drafted yet.

In the agreement it states that she will "pay her fair share of the household expenses while residing in the marital home" and move out when it is "financially feasible". Since the agreement was signed in June she has paid a total of $250 towards household expenses. She was employed in a seasonal job from June through November where she earned approximately $13,000 gross. When she would try to give me money towards expenses I would tell her "please keep your money and use that as part of your savings to move out". She has saved a grand total of ... oh... nothing! This is an opinion and not a fact but think she has been supporting her unemployed boyfriend who lives in another state.

I gave her written notice on November 13, 2011 via email that she had until January 31, 2012 (ironically our anniversary) to vacate the home. I have further told her that she is welcomed to anything she wants in the home that was not mine before our marriage with the caveat that anything left here after February 1, 2012 will be considered abandoned and thus my property. The children's belongings not included. Since she has no money, no local friends (she never made any in the 10 years she lived in the DC area), no job and no place to move I have no idea of what she is going to do. As I tell her "you checked out of this marriage 22 months ago and failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part, not my problem".

My questions is... I was told I was within my legal right to boot her out since she has not lived up to the spirit of the agreement. My plan is to take the Separation Agreement to the local Magistrate on Feb. 1 and have her removed if she hasn't complied. Is all of this plausible or am I looking down the north end of a horse going south? If she does move out has she "abandoned" the marital home? Is she entitled to any marital property after she moves out? If I can't kick her out of the home, am I within my legal right to have the electricity turned off making the home a miserable existence to live in until she does abandon (the kids would go with me to my parents house where they would not be cold)?

Thanks for your advice, help and opinions..

**A: you can't just kick her out or turn off the power. You need to go back to court and get an order to have her evicted.

 

[Zigner]

You need an attorney - and a therapist.

 

[HomeGuru]

You need an attorney - and a therapist.

**A: maybe a hitman. I gots a job for you Vinny to vacate the wife of a client.

 

[mistoffolees]

The Great Commonwealth of Virginia

Greetings and salutations,

Thanks for taking the time to read my tale of woe and give any advice that you feel appropriate. After 7 years of an unhappy marriage my wife cheated on me in March 2010, the details of that are unimportant but it is safe to say that has led to where we are now. In June 2011 I drafted a Separation/Property Settlement/Custody Agreement that was signed by both of us and notarized at our bank. It has been an overall amicable separation but the terms of the agreement are not being met by her. In the agreement she is supposed to sign a Quit Claim Deed giving me full ownership of the home but we have not been able to afford the filing fee for the document so it has not been drafted yet.

In the agreement it states that she will "pay her fair share of the household expenses while residing in the marital home" and move out when it is "financially feasible". Since the agreement was signed in June she has paid a total of $250 towards household expenses. She was employed in a seasonal job from June through November where she earned approximately $13,000 gross. When she would try to give me money towards expenses I would tell her "please keep your money and use that as part of your savings to move out". She has saved a grand total of ... oh... nothing! This is an opinion and not a fact but think she has been supporting her unemployed boyfriend who lives in another state.

I gave her written notice on November 13, 2011 via email that she had until January 31, 2012 (ironically our anniversary) to vacate the home. I have further told her that she is welcomed to anything she wants in the home that was not mine before our marriage with the caveat that anything left here after February 1, 2012 will be considered abandoned and thus my property. The children's belongings not included. Since she has no money, no local friends (she never made any in the 10 years she lived in the DC area), no job and no place to move I have no idea of what she is going to do. As I tell her "you checked out of this marriage 22 months ago and failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part, not my problem".

My questions is... I was told I was within my legal right to boot her out since she has not lived up to the spirit of the agreement. My plan is to take the Separation Agreement to the local Magistrate on Feb. 1 and have her removed if she hasn't complied. Is all of this plausible or am I looking down the north end of a horse going south? If she does move out has she "abandoned" the marital home? Is she entitled to any marital property after she moves out? If I can't kick her out of the home, am I within my legal right to have the electricity turned off making the home a miserable existence to live in until she does abandon (the kids would go with me to my parents house where they would not be cold)?

Thanks for your advice, help and opinions..

Who told you that you could evict her? I'll bet it wasn't an attorney.

Here's the deal:

1. Your agreement is not binding until you get a court to sign off on it. Therefore, there are no penalties for her not following it.

2. The marital home remains the marital home even if she moved out. And she is just as entitled to any marital property as you are.

You need to petition the court for divorce or legal separation (if allowed in your state) and ask for exclusive use of the marital home. Then, and only then, can you throw her out.

 

[Mr Diversity]

In Virginia a Separation Agreement is not filed with the court, it is a contract between two people. The verbiage in it states that it must be included in the final decree in whole and can not be diluted.

If I can't kick her out... what is keeping her from squatting here until death do us part? (No, not calling Vinny or Guido just yet). If the agreement is not recognized by the courts until such time as we file for final decree (which will be in June) but she is not living up to her end of the contract, why do I need to take her to court? If she balks then I can take it to court... but if she is not preforming to the contract that she signed... should that be self explanatory for her to exit stage left?

...and what is keeping the furnace from breaking?

 

[HomeGuru]

In Virginia a Separation Agreement is not filed with the court, it is a contract between two people. The verbiage in it states that it must be included in the final decree in whole and can not be diluted.

If I can't kick her out... what is keeping her from squatting here until death do us part? (No, not calling Vinny or Guido just yet). If the agreement is not recognized by the courts until such time as we file for final decree (which will be in June) but she is not living up to her end of the contract, why do I need to take her to court? If she balks then I can take it to court... but if she is not preforming to the contract that she signed... should that be self explanatory for her to exit stage left?

...and what is keeping the furnace from breaking?

**A: read my first response.

 

[Zigner]

In Virginia a Separation Agreement is not filed with the court, it is a contract between two people. The verbiage in it states that it must be included in the final decree in whole and can not be diluted.

If I can't kick her out... what is keeping her from squatting here until death do us part? (No, not calling Vinny or Guido just yet). If the agreement is not recognized by the courts until such time as we file for final decree (which will be in June) but she is not living up to her end of the contract, why do I need to take her to court? If she balks then I can take it to court... but if she is not preforming to the contract that she signed... should that be self explanatory for her to exit stage left?

...and what is keeping the furnace from breaking?

Let's go with your theory.

If someone breaks a contract with you, how do you enforce it? COURT!

 

[LdiJ]

The Great Commonwealth of Virginia

Greetings and salutations,

Thanks for taking the time to read my tale of woe and give any advice that you feel appropriate. After 7 years of an unhappy marriage my wife cheated on me in March 2010, the details of that are unimportant but it is safe to say that has led to where we are now. In June 2011 I drafted a Separation/Property Settlement/Custody Agreement that was signed by both of us and notarized at our bank. It has been an overall amicable separation but the terms of the agreement are not being met by her. In the agreement she is supposed to sign a Quit Claim Deed giving me full ownership of the home but we have not been able to afford the filing fee for the document so it has not been drafted yet.

In the agreement it states that she will "pay her fair share of the household expenses while residing in the marital home" and move out when it is "financially feasible". Since the agreement was signed in June she has paid a total of $250 towards household expenses. She was employed in a seasonal job from June through November where she earned approximately $13,000 gross. When she would try to give me money towards expenses I would tell her "please keep your money and use that as part of your savings to move out". She has saved a grand total of ... oh... nothing! This is an opinion and not a fact but think she has been supporting her unemployed boyfriend who lives in another state.

I gave her written notice on November 13, 2011 via email that she had until January 31, 2012 (ironically our anniversary) to vacate the home. I have further told her that she is welcomed to anything she wants in the home that was not mine before our marriage with the caveat that anything left here after February 1, 2012 will be considered abandoned and thus my property. The children's belongings not included. Since she has no money, no local friends (she never made any in the 10 years she lived in the DC area), no job and no place to move I have no idea of what she is going to do. As I tell her "you checked out of this marriage 22 months ago and failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part, not my problem".

My questions is... I was told I was within my legal right to boot her out since she has not lived up to the spirit of the agreement. My plan is to take the Separation Agreement to the local Magistrate on Feb. 1 and have her removed if she hasn't complied. Is all of this plausible or am I looking down the north end of a horse going south? If she does move out has she "abandoned" the marital home? Is she entitled to any marital property after she moves out? If I can't kick her out of the home, am I within my legal right to have the electricity turned off making the home a miserable existence to live in until she does abandon (the kids would go with me to my parents house where they would not be cold)?

Thanks for your advice, help and opinions..

You absolutely cannot boot her out at all. Unless your separation agreement was signed by a judge its not enforceable at this point in time. You can certainly file the agreement in court, but until a judge signs off on it, you can do nothing. She has every right to live in the marital home until a judge tells her she no longer has that right.

In addition, that whole "if you don't get stuff out by January 31st it becomes mine" bit is completely unenforceable as well.

 

[Mr Diversity]

Let's go with your theory.

If someone breaks a contract with you, how do you enforce it? COURT!

Ah... good point. I have this amazing ability to overlook the obvious sometime..

Thanks to all for your input on both legal and physiological opinions but would have to disagree with the Therapist comment. All things considered it has been very smooth considering the circumstances. As I stated earlier it has for the most part been amicable nor I am not bitter or acting out of anger. I just need her out, enough is enough!!! I had an initial meeting with a very attractive teacher the other night and after telling her my tale of woe was surprised she didn't run like hell. She said "my only concern is your wife still living with you". Above and beyond that reason is the question, how did she become my responsibility when she cheated and wanted out of the marriage? When do I get to live room and board free while making $36 an hour?

...and this too will pass.

 

[mistoffolees]

Ah... good point. I have this amazing ability to overlook the obvious sometime..

Thanks to all for your input on both legal and physiological opinions but would have to disagree with the Therapist comment. All things considered it has been very smooth considering the circumstances. As I stated earlier it has for the most part been amicable nor I am not bitter or acting out of anger. I just need her out, enough is enough!!! I had an initial meeting with a very attractive teacher the other night and after telling her my tale of woe was surprised she didn't run like hell. She said "my only concern is your wife still living with you". Above and beyond that reason is the question, how did she become my responsibility when she cheated and wanted out of the marriage? When do I get to live room and board free while making $36 an hour?

...and this too will pass.

I would affirm the therapy suggestion. Getting involved with someone new while you're still married and living with the wife is probably not a good idea.

Furthermore, it could come back to bite you - especially if you can't prove that your wife had an affair and she CAN prove that you did.

 

[Mr Diversity]

I am confused... If that is even in the remotest possibility, what is the purpose of the Separation Agreement? It states that neither can interfere in the others personal life and we are to live as if were were not married. How would that be classified as an "affair"? I don't consider an informal dinner at Chick-Fil-A "getting involved", the reference was used to demonstrate why she needs to go, not that I am beginning a torrid romance.

Please correct me if I am wrong but isn't the purpose of the mandatory 1 year separation before divorce considered to be a "cooling off" period in hopes the couple can take that time to work things out or rebuild your life so you can move on? I would like to move on and isn't the point of being separated actually being separated?

What in any of my statements would justify the need for Therapist?

 

[Zigner]

I am confused... If that is even in the remotest possibility, what is the purpose of the Separation Agreement? It states that neither can interfere in the others personal life and we are to live as if were were not married. How would that be classified as an "affair"? I don't consider an informal dinner at Chick-Fil-A "getting involved", the reference was used to demonstrate why she needs to go, not that I am beginning a torrid romance.

Please correct me if I am wrong but isn't the purpose of the mandatory 1 year separation before divorce considered to be a "cooling off" period in hopes the couple can take that time to work things out or rebuild your life so you can move on? I would like to move on and isn't the point of being separated actually being separated?

What in any of my statements would justify the need for Therapist?

If the separation agreement isn't followed, how do you think you're going to have it enforced?





I'm getting dizzy from all these circles...

 

[Zigner]

What in any of my statements would justify the need for Therapist?

Your obsession with getting back at your wife...

 

[Mr Diversity]

Agree to disagree

Zig,

I was going to let dead dogs lie but needed to set the record straight before I fade off into the sunset. There is no obsession of "getting back at my wife". If that were the case I would have let her go as my assistant 22 months ago, pursued an adultery case rather than a no fault divorce and due to other influences you're not privy to, applied for and received full custody of the kids. Instead when I drafted the agreement split everything down the middle including one week on, one week off custody. An even distribution of the kids expenses based on the percentage of each income, and an addendum to the original agreement changing her agreed move out date from Sept 6, 2011 to "when it is financially feasible".

I have an above average IQ and she was not as fortunate. I could have very easily manipulated it so that she was screwed, blued and tattooed but chose to take the higher ground even though it was me that was wronged. I am sorry if I gave you the impression I needed to "get back at her" but I only want her to give her what she demanded for the last 2 years.. she "wants out of this marriage and this house"...but now refuses to leave.

So I guess we will have to leave this with agreeing to disagree.