Our Family Wizard

[breezymom]

Thank you and yes, OG, for the ex. I offered to do one, too, when the GAL suggested it, but apparently I'm not the one everyone is worried about...I just figured it might keep him more calm if I had to do it too, since that would seem fair. And if it's local rules, then I will call the courthouse, today, and ask. I'm already taking kiddo to a child psychologist who works with young children, where he refuses to participate. And they've changed the co-parenting class, so I'm re-taking that, as well.

 

[breezymom]

Update for NY folks

Hopefully this helps folks who may need to modify petitions:

I heard back from my lawyer, so this is the process:

If you have an attorney, your attorney needs to file the paperwork, asking permission of the court to modify the petition.

If permission is denied, we are withdrawing the current petition and submitting a new one.

 

[breezymom]

How to stop this bogus cycle

Ok, so...

Kiddo got a brush burn on her right hip from some plastic toys she had in the bath tub. He lied and said the exchange person told him she fell in the bath tub. I got it in writing what she actually told him (reminder: we use an exchange program), which was that she cut it on a bath toy.

So, he sent me a message and I replied telling him what happened, again: It's a brush burn from toys in the tub.

She was playing with a sand bucket set that has a water wheel and a bunch of water type toys with it.

I covered it all week (to my mistake, I guess) with bandaids and ointment and it's just a red mark now. So, now he sends me a message that someone isn't taking good care of our child on my end because now she has more red marks. They are from the BANDAIDS for goodness sake. You can SEE that it's from the sticky part of the bandaids and the other red mark is the SAME booboo that's nearly healed. I even took her to pediatrics to have it looked at and documented.

Really. This is ridiculous. He really could take her to pediatrics, himself, if he feels our child is so badly abused.

How do I stop this ridiculous cycle? I can't control his behavior and the child is going to have booboos. The damn thing is all of about a third inch long and about as high as the letter "a" in this post. Any recommendations?

 

[duckmom]

Ignore him, just like the very knowledgeable seniors here have told you to do several times. You are right, you can't control him and accidents are going to happen. You allow the cycle to go on by engaging him.

 

[breezymom]

Court on Monday. It's the actual hearing from the initial appearance back in November, with our amendment added on, so I have to testify to both petitions, which isn't hard if I relax. I am very hopeful that the result will be that we can obtain what we petitioned for so that Dad can get some help, that the child will be left out of the fray, and so that we may possibly work toward better communication for kiddo's sake. Those are my goals. I hope they aren't unreasonable.

And thank you, everyone, for your assistance.

 

[Ohiogal]

Court on Monday. It's the actual hearing from the initial appearance back in November, with our amendment added on, so I have to testify to both petitions, which isn't hard if I relax. I am very hopeful that the result will be that we can obtain what we petitioned for so that Dad can get some help, that the child will be left out of the fray, and so that we may possibly work toward better communication for kiddo's sake. Those are my goals. I hope they aren't unreasonable.

And thank you, everyone, for your assistance.

Just breathe and tell the truth. Don't get emotional and keep it to the facts.

 

[breezymom]

Just breathe and tell the truth. Don't get emotional and keep it to the facts.

Most certainly, Ma'am. I'm also going to do some reading over the weekend, to try and help me help us all by keeping my part grounded.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

You asked about the book. You'll pick up good pointers in it.

 

[breezymom]

Thank you. I'm not sure what was wrong with my asking about it, but seems an admin deleted the content, so I deleted the post, itself.

I do apologize if there was something wrong with my post.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Maybe they were thinking it was either a spam message or a duplicate of what was going on here. I suggest reading the book to help mitigate the damage of being high conflict.

 

[SheScreamsInSil]

reading suggestion?

Could someone be so kind as to post the title of this book? It sounds like something a friend could benefit from reading. Thank you!

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Divorce Poison; Dr. Richard A Warshak

Divorce Casualties; Douglas Darnall

 

[breezymom]

Thanks, TBL! That's why I posted it, to begin with. And I'm sure you're right about why it was deleted. No big. Thanks for posting it, again, and I will surely read it.

 

[breezymom]

Well, we both showed up early this morning and the officer said we weren't scheduled til this afternoon. I checked with the desk and was told notices were sent out last Monday. I was also told that my lawyer said she gave it to me (which she didn't but I'm fine on my schedule anyway). He, however, had scheduled a meeting this afternoon (which is why he won't pick up our daughter).

So, with it in their system that we supposedly got these notices (and I'm sure he's probably blown a gasket at them by now about it), what will happen if he can't make it? Will they consider it not given enough notice or? Do you think it will be rescheduled? He is representing himself, so he won't have a lawyer present if he couldn't make it.

 

[LdiJ]

Well, we both showed up early this morning and the officer said we weren't scheduled til this afternoon. I checked with the desk and was told notices were sent out last Monday. I was also told that my lawyer said she gave it to me (which she didn't but I'm fine on my schedule anyway). He, however, had scheduled a meeting this afternoon (which is why he won't pick up our daughter).

So, with it in their system that we supposedly got these notices (and I'm sure he's probably blown a gasket at them by now about it), what will happen if he can't make it? Will they consider it not given enough notice or? Do you think it will be rescheduled? He is representing himself, so he won't have a lawyer present if he couldn't make it.

It could go either way...either you could get what you want by default, or he could be given another chance to be present.