New York Divorce

[MagsBay]

New York. I do know that NY has recently come into the 21st Century with no fault divorce.

My husband and I have been married for nearly 30 years. Our children are grown. The boy was graduated from University some three years ago. The girl has just one more semester to complete until her BA.

Both had simple college funds established by their grandfather, my husband and I added to same.

My husband and I have no debt except for about a $50,000 mortgage on our primary home (we don't live large).

However, my retirement income is scant as compared to my husband's as I took off time to raise the children.

My retirement and social security income will only be about $15,000.00 a year whereas, my husband's retirement income will be upwards of $70,000.00 a year -not including his social security.

While I love my husband dearly, I recognize that this love of mine has been one sided for many years, if not for decades.

I want to keep the house and I want part of his retirement income.

Is this feasible?

 

[AlmostThere]

New York. I do know that NY has recently come into the 21st Century with no fault divorce.

My husband and I have been married for nearly 30 years. Our children are grown. The boy was graduated from University some three years ago. The girl has just one more semester to complete until her BA.

Both had simple college funds established by their grandfather, my husband and I added to same.

My husband and I have no debt except for about a $50,000 mortgage on our primary home (we don't live large).

However, my retirement income is scant as compared to my husband's as I took off time to raise the children.

My retirement and social security income will only be about $15,000.00 a year whereas, my husband's retirement income will be upwards of $70,000.00 a year -not including his social security.

While I love my husband dearly, I recognize that this love of mine has been one sided for many years, if not for decades.

I want to keep the house and I want part of his retirement income.

Is this feasible?

NYS is an equitable distribution state - that approximately means you will receive half the assets and half the debts accumulated in the marriage. Things like inheritance, assets acquired before the marriage, personal injury awards, etc, that were maintained separately (not co-mingled in joint accounts or used marital assets to maintain) are not considered marital assets. Provided your house is a marital asset, you will be entitled to 50% of the equity in the house, and 50% of the mortgage debt, regardless of if the house and/or mortgage is in your name, his names, or both names.


You do not mention your incomes, or how much you have in assets or debts. Or your ages . Sometimes it makes more sense for one spouse to buy out the other spouses interest in the house using other marital assets or taking on more debts. Other times, it makes far more sense to sell the house and split the proceeds. But you need to ask yourself, can you afford the house? The mortgage, the taxes, the upkeep? Do you make enough to be approved for refinance of the mortgage solely in your name?

NYS does now offer spousal support/maintenance (since 2010) - http://www.nycourts.gov/divorce/calculator.pdf - the calculator is a guideline and the amount/length of time can vary by judge. In general, if spousal maintenance is awarded, it is done for a period of time to allow the lesser earning spouse a chance to get back on their feet, not a lifetime award. Assuming you are in your 50s, it is likely that at some point will be expected to support yourself and live within your means.

While I am not a lawyer - but I have gone through the divorce process in NY - I am going to ask you a non-legal question. Why do you want the house? Your kids are adults, and should be living independently soon if not doing already. If you are worried about supporting yourself, maintaining a house that is too large for your needs and too expensive for your budget, may not be the smartest thing to do. Ask yourself what you do need, what can you afford. And as you age, will you be physically able to maintain the house and property or afford to hire out all those tasks?

Good luck..

 

[Ohiogal]

Is his retirement income now or is it still in an account waiting for him to retire? Same for yours? Also are you currently working? Is your husband? how much do you each earn at your jobs? If you are not working, why not?

 

[Bali Hai]

NYS is an equitable distribution state - that approximately means you will receive half the assets and half the debts accumulated in the marriage. Things like inheritance, assets acquired before the marriage, personal injury awards, etc, that were maintained separately (not co-mingled in joint accounts or used marital assets to maintain) are not considered marital assets. Provided your house is a marital asset, you will be entitled to 50% of the equity in the house, and 50% of the mortgage debt, regardless of if the house and/or mortgage is in your name, his names, or both names.


You do not mention your incomes, or how much you have in assets or debts. Or your ages . Sometimes it makes more sense for one spouse to buy out the other spouses interest in the house using other marital assets or taking on more debts. Other times, it makes far more sense to sell the house and split the proceeds. But you need to ask yourself, can you afford the house? The mortgage, the taxes, the upkeep? Do you make enough to be approved for refinance of the mortgage solely in your name?

NYS does now offer spousal support/maintenance (since 2010) - http://www.nycourts.gov/divorce/calculator.pdf - the calculator is a guideline and the amount/length of time can vary by judge. In general, if spousal maintenance is awarded, it is done for a period of time to allow the lesser earning spouse a chance to get back on their feet, not a lifetime award. Assuming you are in your 50s, it is likely that at some point will be expected to support yourself and live within your means.

While I am not a lawyer - but I have gone through the divorce process in NY - I am going to ask you a non-legal question. Why do you want the house? Your kids are adults, and should be living independently soon if not doing already. If you are worried about supporting yourself, maintaining a house that is too large for your needs and too expensive for your budget, may not be the smartest thing to do. Ask yourself what you do need, what can you afford. And as you age, will you be physically able to maintain the house and property or afford to hire out all those tasks?

Good luck..

NYS being an equitable distribution state could also "approximately mean" that she gets all assets and stbx gets all debt. Depends on the circumstances and judge.

When DIDN'T NYS offer spousal support/maintenance? The law changed recently (spearheaded by a woman JSC) so it's more likely that a person will get it.

 

[MagsBay]

Is his retirement income now or is it still in an account waiting for him to retire? Same for yours? Also are you currently working? Is your husband? how much do you each earn at your jobs? If you are not working, why not?

He is still working at a rather high level job. We are both approaching retirement age. I have worked on and off throughout the years but have not worked for the last three years--downsized in 2009.

I have tried to get a new job but I guess both the economy and my age were against me although I am rather qualified.

 

[MagsBay]

NYS being an equitable distribution state could also "approximately mean" that she gets all assets and stbx gets all debt. Depends on the circumstances and judge.

When DIDN'T NYS offer spousal support/maintenance? The law changed recently (spearheaded by a woman JSC) so it's more likely that a person will get it.

There is very little debt. About $50,000 on a home worth well more than ten times that. No credit card debt. No student loan debt. I have been, a good money manager in that, while I wasn't able to generate wealth, I did safeguard it.

I want the house because it is the first house I have ever owned. I grew up poor, he grew up rather privileged. I know, from my upbinging how to save a dime, so to speak.

My social security and small pensions if I am able to achieve some of his retirement fund will enable me to keep the house.

 

[nextwife]

And how do you plan to refinance him off the mortgage or pay him his share of the equity? Have you crunched the actual numbers: monthly property taxes, insurance, maintenance, replacements of roof, furnace, etc, as these age, the mortgage you will need to pay him his share?

You will be able to apply for SS benefits when the rime comes based on his credits,, because of a marriage of ten or more years.

Most couples don't really have enough saved for retirement. Divide that by two households, and you may have a lot less to retire on than you realize.

 

[MagsBay]

And how do you plan to refinance him off the mortgage or pay him his share of the equity? Have you crunched the actual numbers: monthly property taxes, insurance, maintenance, replacements of roof, furnace, etc, as these age, the mortgage you will need to pay him his share?

You will be able to apply for SS benefits when the rime comes based on his credits,, because of a marriage of ten or more years.

Most couples don't really have enough saved for retirement. Divide that by two households, and you may have a lot less to retire on than you realize.

I did work for many years and have my own Social Security Benefits.

I do know that I can not have both his and mine. That would be double dipping.


Also, There is a retirement fund, jointly owned by the two of us as well as an inheritance to me that I never co-mingled.
Look, I am not some house frau. I did work for many many years and contributed to the household as well as caring for the children.

It wasn't easy. I never had an easy road. But I loved, still love my husband dearly, but the marriage, unfortunately, has come to an end.

I just want the house and a portion of his retirement.

I want no spousal support.

 

[Ohiogal]

He is still working at a rather high level job. We are both approaching retirement age. I have worked on and off throughout the years but have not worked for the last three years--downsized in 2009.

I have tried to get a new job but I guess both the economy and my age were against me although I am rather qualified.

And how much were you earning when you worked? Do you have a boyfriend? Are you looking to enter into a new relationship? In three years you couldn't find ONE job (even a job that paid less or that you consider yourself overqualified to work)?

 

[Ohiogal]

I did work for many years and have my own Social Security Benefits.

I do know that I can not have both his and mine. That would be double dipping.


Also, There is a retirement fund, jointly owned by the two of us as well as an inheritance to me that I never co-mingled.
Look, I am not some house frau. I did work for many many years and contributed to the household as well as caring for the children.

It wasn't easy. I never had an easy road. But I loved, still love my husband dearly, but the marriage, unfortunately, has come to an end.

I just want the house and a portion of his retirement.

I want no spousal support.

How are you going to pay him $225k to buy his share of the equity from him? He is entitled to that -- based on your numbers. You owe $50k but the house is worth 10 times that -- so $500k. He is entitled to half the equity. If you cannot buy him out of the equity by refinancing the house and then affording a mortgage for $27k5 AND he doesn't want to buy you out, the house gets sold and you each get your equity that way.
Now he could decide to give you all of the equity in the house and you could then refinance the mortgage of 50k in exchange for you getting NONE of his retirement or 225k less of his retirement. Also he could give you the entire joint retirement fund in exchange for even more of HIS pension because he is also entitled to half the retirement fund.

How much is your inheritance worth? You don't seem to understand that you don't get to just take from him. Your inheritance is part of your property. Great. Fantastic. Depending on its value, you might not get ANY spousal support. Especially if the inheritance is somewhat substantial. It is possible that you would get VERY LITTLE of his retirement when all is said and done depending on the worth of everything else. If your separate assets are enough for you to live upon when combined with the marital assets you receive you won't get spousal support.

In other words, don't count on getting what you want. In fact you might not get any of what you request and will end up with only half the marital assets and half the marital debt.

 

[LdiJ]

New York. I do know that NY has recently come into the 21st Century with no fault divorce.

My husband and I have been married for nearly 30 years. Our children are grown. The boy was graduated from University some three years ago. The girl has just one more semester to complete until her BA.

Both had simple college funds established by their grandfather, my husband and I added to same.

My husband and I have no debt except for about a $50,000 mortgage on our primary home (we don't live large).

However, my retirement income is scant as compared to my husband's as I took off time to raise the children.

My retirement and social security income will only be about $15,000.00 a year whereas, my husband's retirement income will be upwards of $70,000.00 a year -not including his social security.

While I love my husband dearly, I recognize that this love of mine has been one sided for many years, if not for decades.

I want to keep the house and I want part of his retirement income.

Is this feasible?

Retirement accounts are marital assets and are divisible in a divorce. Home equity is a marital asset that is divisible in a divorce. So are bank accounts, stock funds or any other assets. Inheritances or gifts are not divisible assets, they are separate assets.

The only way that you could keep the house and get part of his retirement assets, is if there are sufficient other marital assets for him to receive his share from. In other words, you add up all the marital assets, divide them in half, and then see if your half (keeping house and part of his retirement) would be half or less.

 

[Bali Hai]

How are you going to pay him $225k to buy his share of the equity from him? He is entitled to that -- based on your numbers. You owe $50k but the house is worth 10 times that -- so $500k. He is entitled to half the equity. If you cannot buy him out of the equity by refinancing the house and then affording a mortgage for $27k5 AND he doesn't want to buy you out, the house gets sold and you each get your equity that way.
Now he could decide to give you all of the equity in the house and you could then refinance the mortgage of 50k in exchange for you getting NONE of his retirement or 225k less of his retirement. Also he could give you the entire joint retirement fund in exchange for even more of HIS pension because he is also entitled to half the retirement fund.

How much is your inheritance worth? You don't seem to understand that you don't get to just take from him. Your inheritance is part of your property. Great. Fantastic. Depending on its value, you might not get ANY spousal support. Especially if the inheritance is somewhat substantial. It is possible that you would get VERY LITTLE of his retirement when all is said and done depending on the worth of everything else. If your separate assets are enough for you to live upon when combined with the marital assets you receive you won't get spousal support.

In other words, don't count on getting what you want. In fact you might not get any of what you request and will end up with only half the marital assets and half the marital debt.

But, but, but, all her divorced friends and even her mother told her all these years that's how divorces are supposed to work.

 

[tuffbrk]

I did work for many years and have my own Social Security Benefits.

I do know that I can not have both his and mine. That would be double dipping.


Also, There is a retirement fund, jointly owned by the two of us as well as an inheritance to me that I never co-mingled.
Look, I am not some house frau. I did work for many many years and contributed to the household as well as caring for the children.

It wasn't easy. I never had an easy road. But I loved, still love my husband dearly, but the marriage, unfortunately, has come to an end.

I just want the house and a portion of his retirement.

I want no spousal support.

Hi - actually, you will receive SS based on whoever's contribution was greater. AS for the rest of what you may get, you have not provided enough of the financial information for us to make a determination of how the numbers could be crunched. Even the home would need a very recent appraisal as the values have dropped everywhere for you to really assess the value of it.

It doesn't sound as if you are being unreasonable in what it is you are looking for - although I agree with the perception of a number of the respondents that perhaps you need to re-think the home. It may be of more benefit for the home to be sold and you can then purchase your own home. Perhaps a smaller one that is more reasonable for an older person to maintain and pay taxes, etc. It is a very personal decision but from an economic standpoint, I urge you to look around and see what is on the market. And wouldn't it be lovely to own your very own home - not keep one that had previously been shared and purchased with another person? Just a thought.

 

[Ohiogal]

Hi - actually, you will receive SS based on whoever's contribution was greater. AS for the rest of what you may get, you have not provided enough of the financial information for us to make a determination of how the numbers could be crunched. Even the home would need a very recent appraisal as the values have dropped everywhere for you to really assess the value of it.

It doesn't sound as if you are being unreasonable in what it is you are looking for - although I agree with the perception of a number of the respondents that perhaps you need to re-think the home. It may be of more benefit for the home to be sold and you can then purchase your own home. Perhaps a smaller one that is more reasonable for an older person to maintain and pay taxes, etc. It is a very personal decision but from an economic standpoint, I urge you to look around and see what is on the market. And wouldn't it be lovely to own your very own home - not keep one that had previously been shared and purchased with another person? Just a thought.

Just to clarify -- SS means Social Security and NOT spousal support.

 

[LdiJ]

Just to clarify -- SS means Social Security and NOT spousal support.

I have read the thread a couple of times and I cannot see anywhere where she has asked about spousal support. Its all been about retirement assets and the house.