Preschool Selection

[justseparated]

My bad on this - they are married, therefore, they have equal rights. This is just a correction on my posting.

Thank you for clarification. I assumed that anyway.

 

[CJane]

I disagree with OhioGal that a decision to enroll your child into PUBLIC school will go against you in a custody hearing. I also disagree that joint custody automatically means that you must have Dad's agreement prior to enrolling the child.

Your order - or statute - would need to state that the parents must AGREE about education/daycare/etc. Oftentimes, absent more specific language, joint legal custody only means the parents must COMMUNICATE and DISCUSS these things.

You deciding "unilaterally" to enroll the child is NO DIFFERENT than Dad deciding "unilaterally" to NOT enroll the child.

 

[Silverplum]

After speaking with the program director at school, it is not advisable she misses more than 10 days during the school year. It is part of Kindergarten preparation (the preschool is at the local elementary school). I suggested we speak with the teacher (we haven't met them yet) to see if our daughter can miss 1 day a week and get homework assignments for that day so she doesn't fall behind academically, but he didn't agree to just one day a week.

At this point, without his consent, I cannot take her to the new school, correct? They have a huge waiting list, and I'm afraid she will miss this opportunity if she doesn't start at the beginning of the school year.

I'm going to die if I don't find out precisely what, "academically," a pre-schooler is going to miss if she doesn't go one day per week to pre-school.

 

[Just Blue]

I'm going to die if I don't find out precisely what, "academically," a pre-schooler is going to miss if she doesn't go one day per week to pre-school.

ABC...It's as easy as 123...

 

[nextwife]

I'm going to die if I don't find out precisely what, "academically," a pre-schooler is going to miss if she doesn't go one day per week to pre-school.

I gotta wonder that myself.

My SEVERLY developmentally delayed kiddo missed THREE mornings a week of preschool while in their program, due to all the speech and physical therapy she needed because of her previously uncorrected vison and hearing deficits and the impact of institutional living for her first two years and yet STILL was ready for kindergarten at age 4, and is at age level academically (Mom's gonna brag: Deans list 2x last year). Seems to me that if a child with all the barriers she had can be at age level missing so much preschool, a kid with a normal childhood and normal speech and vision should be able to do way better..

 

[justseparated]

I gotta wonder that myself.

My SEVERLY developmentally delayed kiddo missed THREE mornings a week of preschool while in their program, due to all the speech and physical therapy she needed because of her previously uncorrected vison and hearing deficits and the impact of institutional living for her first two years and yet STILL was ready for kindergarten at age 4, and is at age level academically (Mom's gonna brag: Deans list 2x last year). Seems to me that if a child with all the barriers she had can be at age level missing so much preschool, a kid with a normal childhood and normal speech and vision should be able to do way better..

Really happy for your kiddo, nextwife.

I don't have an issue with her missing a day or two a week but, according to the school, it is not desirable as this pre-K is a preparation program for next year's kindergarten. Our daughter is behind her peers on her English skills because it is not my first language, and she doesn't spend enough time with her dad to really learn from him. This is slightly off topic, though.

My question was what to do legally on order not to miss this opportunity to have her enrolled in the public preschool before a court hearing. Ohiogal answered that for me, thank you.

 

[Silverplum]

Really happy for your kiddo, nextwife.

I don't have an issue with her missing a day or two a week but, according to the school, it is not desirable as this pre-K is a preparation program for next year's kindergarten. Our daughter is behind her peers on her English skills because it is not my first language, and she doesn't spend enough time with her dad to really learn from him. This is slightly off topic, though.

My question was what to do legally on order not to miss this opportunity to have her enrolled in the public preschool before a court hearing. Ohiogal answered that for me, thank you.

Not at all "off topic."

Your objection to Dad's position is that your child will miss out on a day of pre-school, and miss out on "academic opportunities." You should be questioned as to the "logic" of your "argument."

By the way, IMO, your argument is weak.

You're welcome.

 

[justseparated]

Not at all "off topic."

Your objection to Dad's position is that your child will miss out on a day of pre-school, and miss out on "academic opportunities." You should be questioned as to the "logic" of your "argument."

By the way, IMO, your argument is weak.

You're welcome.

All opinions are welcomed. My argument is not that, as I've said, i don't mind her missing some days of school, but he's not agreeing to the new school at all. He never visited any schools, met teachers, participated in a school selection or application process. He simply disagrees on the new school, and I don't want to do anything that might seem questionable in court.

 

[Just Blue]

Really happy for your kiddo, nextwife.

I don't have an issue with her missing a day or two a week but, according to the school, it is not desirable as this pre-K is a preparation program for next year's kindergarten. Our daughter is behind her peers on her English skills because it is not my first language, and she doesn't spend enough time with her dad to really learn from him. This is slightly off topic, though.

My question was what to do legally on order not to miss this opportunity to have her enrolled in the public preschool before a court hearing. Ohiogal answered that for me, thank you.

Gotta say...Your postings are well written and it never occurred to me that you were not educated and immersed in EL. So if your daughter is behind in HER ELS it is because you chose to do so. THAT was your choice and Dad should not be criticized for your CHOICE. Perhaps you should spend more time speaking English at home and not your 1st language. Jus' sayin'.

 

[CJane]

All opinions are welcomed. My argument is not that, as I've said, i don't mind her missing some days of school, but he's not agreeing to the new school at all. He never visited any schools, met teachers, participated in a school selection or application process. He simply disagrees on the new school, and I don't want to do anything that might seem questionable in court.

You want to send kiddo to PUBLIC SCHOOL. Kiddo was previously enrolled in PRIVATE SCHOOL. You were footing the entire bill for this private school. You choose not to do so anymore. Dad is obviously not interested in footing the bill for the private school.

Enroll the child, as long as your order does not say that you CAN'T do so without Dad's agreement/permission.

 

[justseparated]

You want to send kiddo to PUBLIC SCHOOL. Kiddo was previously enrolled in PRIVATE SCHOOL. You were footing the entire bill for this private school. You choose not to do so anymore. Dad is obviously not interested in footing the bill for the private school.

Enroll the child, as long as your order does not say that you CAN'T do so without Dad's agreement/permission.

Again, there's no order at this time, we are still legally married. I just want to make sure I'm not doing anything which may be used against me in the custody hearing.

 

[justseparated]

Gotta say...Your postings are well written and it never occurred to me that you were not educated and immersed in EL. So if your daughter is behind in HER ELS it is because you chose to do so. THAT was your choice and Dad should not be criticized for your CHOICE. Perhaps you should spend more time speaking English at home and not your 1st language. Jus' sayin'.

I agree, I do chose to speak my native language to my daughter not because I don't know English, but for a variety of other reasons. I don't blame her dad for not teaching her English at all, just saying the current preschool (which she attends 3 days a week) hasn't been that beneficial for her in terms of EL advancement.

 

[Just Blue]

I agree, I do chose to speak my native language to my daughter not because I don't know English, but for a variety of other reasons. I don't blame her dad for not teaching her English at all, just saying the current preschool (which she attends 3 days a week) hasn't been that beneficial for her in terms of EL advancement.

As an apparent PCG It was your job to teach your child to speak English. Not the preschool.

 

[ecmst12]

Perhaps it is ALSO important that OP's child learn mom's native language as well. Perhaps there are many, many opportunities to be immersed in english-speaking in this country, but perhaps not very many for mom's native language. Growing up bilingual will be a massive asset for the child when she gets older and I am offended by your presumption that the only language mom should have an interest in her learning is english. In nearly every other country in the world, children are exposed to multiple languages at a young age, which makes it much easier for them to learn multiple languages. It's called CULTURE, look it up.

OP, I think it's a great idea for you to find a school to help her with her english skills while you continue exposing her to your language at home.

 

[Silverplum]

I don't give a hoot about anyone's personal cultural problems.

When that person expects the school to teach their child everything -- including basic language -- is when I get irritated.

Perhaps it is ALSO important that OP's child learn mom's native language as well. Perhaps there are many, many opportunities to be immersed in english-speaking in this country, but perhaps not very many for mom's native language. Growing up bilingual will be a massive asset for the child when she gets older and I am offended by your presumption that the only language mom should have an interest in her learning is english. In nearly every other country in the world, children are exposed to multiple languages at a young age, which makes it much easier for them to learn multiple languages. It's called CULTURE, look it up.

OP, I think it's a great idea for you to find a school to help her with her english skills while you continue exposing her to your language at home.

You're so gentle.



ETA: Whoops, I looked it up: it's "kind" and "considerate!"