Abused 13 year old, how can I help him??

[hjsip]

I am in New York State and I don't know what else I can do to help this boy. He has grown up in a cult-like community with an abusive father and for the past month has been trying to leave.
He came to my home this morning, I called Child Protective Services and three people from CPS came to my home this afternoon and talked to him. His father came tonight and a trooper called us to tell us we needed to release him to his father who then brought him back into their community. Before the 13 year old left, we told him that if his father lays a finger on him that he come back to our home and call the same trooper and tell him what has happened. Is there anything else I can do for him?? What questions can I ask authorities (CPS, Police, etc.) to get clearer information to protect the 13 year old if he comes back??

 

[Proserpina]

I am in New York State and I don't know what else I can do to help this boy. He has grown up in a cult-like community with an abusive father and for the past month has been trying to leave.
He came to my home this morning, I called Child Protective Services and three people from CPS came to my home this afternoon and talked to him. His father came tonight and a trooper called us to tell us we needed to release him to his father who then brought him back into their community. Before the 13 year old left, we told him that if his father lays a finger on him that he come back to our home and call the same trooper and tell him what has happened. Is there anything else I can do for him?? What questions can I ask authorities (CPS, Police, etc.) to get clearer information to protect the 13 year old if he comes back??

If he's being abused, CPS will act upon it.

What proof of abuse is there?

You need to be extremely careful here. If for example he runs away to your place and you refuse to release him, you can face federal charges. And that will not be fun for you.

 

[TheGeekess]

I am in New York State and I don't know what else I can do to help this boy. He has grown up in a cult-like community with an abusive father and for the past month has been trying to leave.
He came to my home this morning, I called Child Protective Services and three people from CPS came to my home this afternoon and talked to him. His father came tonight and a trooper called us to tell us we needed to release him to his father who then brought him back into their community. Before the 13 year old left, we told him that if his father lays a finger on him that he come back to our home and call the same trooper and tell him what has happened. Is there anything else I can do for him?? What questions can I ask authorities (CPS, Police, etc.) to get clearer information to protect the 13 year old if he comes back??

Just curious, but how do you know this 13yo boy?

 

[hjsip]

If he's being abused, CPS will act upon it.

What proof of abuse is there?

You need to be extremely careful here. If for example he runs away to your place and you refuse to release him, you can face federal charges. And that will not be fun for you.

Well CPS told his parents where he was and got him sent right back so if that how they "act upon it" I don't really know how safe he is.
These people in the community have "punishment" down to a science and know how to beat people and leave little to no markings.
I know I need to be careful, I am following all instructions from authorities.

Just curious, but how do you know this 13yo boy?

He worked along side a man in his 40's who left the same community about a month+ and is staying in my home.

 

[Proserpina]

Well CPS told his parents where he was and got him sent right back so if that how they "act upon it" I don't really know how safe he is.
These people in the community have "punishment" down to a science and know how to beat people and leave little to no markings.
I know I need to be careful, I am following all instructions from authorities.

Something tells me you're not being told the whole truth here. I'm certain you don't know all of the details.

He worked along side a man in his 40's who left the same community about a month+ and is staying in my home.

Obviously not quite an objective witness. Correct?

 

[hjsip]

Something tells me you're not being told the whole truth here. I'm certain you don't know all of the details.




Obviously not quite an objective witness. Correct?

What details are you suggesting I'm being lied to about? This isn't a hormonal teen trying to get back at his parents. If you're suggesting that he isn't being abused and that in order for someone to be considered a victim of abuse, you need to be bruised or bleeding, that is not true. These people have had 40+ years to figure out what leaves markings.

And I do understand why you would think that the man wouldn't be an objective witness and if it is a black and white matter I would be compelled to say no because he genuinely cares about this 13 year old child.
He was however in that community for 7 years and experienced being beaten into submission from the elders before.

 

[Proserpina]

What details are you suggesting I'm being lied to about? This isn't a hormonal teen trying to get back at his parents. If you're suggesting that he isn't being abused and that in order for someone to be considered a victim of abuse, you need to be bruised or bleeding, that is not true. These people have had 40+ years to figure out what leaves markings.

Why so defensive? Why are you reading into things so much?

You don't live there. You haven't witnessed anything, have you? THAT is what I'm referring to. CPS have become involved, as have the police. There is, quite literally, little else YOU can do.

And I do understand why you would think that the man wouldn't be an objective witness and if it is a black and white matter I would be compelled to say no because he genuinely cares about this 13 year old child.
He was however in that community for 7 years and experienced being beaten into submission from the elders before.

Again, there is little you can do at this point.

 

[hjsip]

Why so defensive? Why are you reading into things so much?

You don't live there. You haven't witnessed anything, have you? THAT is what I'm referring to. CPS have become involved, as have the police. There is, quite literally, little else YOU can do.





Again, there is little you can do at this point.

I apologize for coming off as snappy but he has told us that he's been beaten with a paddle recently. I have not witnessed it with my own eyes, you are correct. But I was just wondering if there is anything I could do to help him get out of harms way seeing as he is just 13 years old. I appreciate your help and advice on this matter.

Also, if he happens to come back, should I just call the police again and tell them that I've filed a report with them and with CPS previously? Do you know if I have to release the child to his parents if he comes back and on the off chance I DO see any visual evidence of abuse? I would take pictures immediately but if his parents came for him, would I be required to release him to them?

 

[Proserpina]

I apologize for coming off as snappy but he has told us that he's been beaten with a paddle recently. I have not witnessed it with my own eyes, you are correct. But I was just wondering if there is anything I could do to help him get out of harms way seeing as he is just 13 years old. I appreciate your help and advice on this matter.

Also, if he happens to come back, should I just call the police again and tell them that I've filed a report with them and with CPS previously? Do you know if I have to release the child to his parents if he comes back and on the off chance I DO see any visual evidence of abuse? I would take pictures immediately but if his parents came for him, would I be required to release him to them?

Call 911. Taking pictures proves nothing at all - just that he has bruises. They don't prove who was responsible.

It's also, as a practical matter, difficult to beat a child with a paddle without leaving marks.

Think about this please.

 

[swalsh411]

I apologize for coming off as snappy but he has told us that he's been beaten with a paddle recently.

As in he got spanked?

 

[cbg]

And no 13 year old since the year one has ever lied, exaggerated, or twisted the truth in order to get what he wants. No, never.

 

[Zigner]

OP seems to differ on what is proper parenting. New York law seems to allow for reasonable corporal punishment. A spanking with no bruising...I'm not seeing how the OP's opinion on it should carry more weight than the parent's opinion.

 

[Proserpina]

OP seems to differ on what is proper parenting. New York law seems to allow for reasonable corporal punishment. A spanking with no bruising...I'm not seeing how the OP's opinion on it should carry more weight than the parent's opinion.

I'm fairly convinced that the OP is not getting the whole truth.

In fact, I'd probably bet my last jar of Marmite on it.

(And that's saying something!)

 

[hjsip]

OP seems to differ on what is proper parenting. New York law seems to allow for reasonable corporal punishment. A spanking with no bruising...I'm not seeing how the OP's opinion on it should carry more weight than the parent's opinion.

I understand what you are saying and that view is helpful. I do want to point of that I do agree with corporal punishment in the proper circumstances, but never in excess and never done when a parent is angry because it will often lead to excess. I also want to say that spanking or even beating isn't intended to inflict VISUAL MARKING, only PAIN. One does not spank their child to see a hand print on their ass, it is done to make them feel pain and not want to do the bad thing again because they don't want the pain.

As in he got spanked?

Beating, as in beating. Not being spanked.

I'm sorry if people think I'm trying to pump up the situation with exaggeration but I truly am not.
I am looking out for the safety of this child, even if he is removed from his parents and is moved into a home with one of his four older brothers who left this same group because of the same reasons.

 

[Zigner]

You are injecting hyperbole in to this...